BLUEBELL
  • Female
  • Santa Ana, CA
  • United States
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Lost my Mom
5 Replies

I am new here. I lost my Mom on Valentines Day. There is a void in my life  that I need to figure out how to fill. I have been her caregiver for the past 3 years and she has been the center point of…Continue

Started this discussion. Last reply by Jennifer Mar 12, 2017.

 

BLUEBELL's Page

Latest Activity

BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Seems like we all have our regrets and sadness that we live with every day. But I have noticed for myself that though I still have them, they have softened over time. Bluebell On a different subject I want to celebrate this morning of being able to…"
Thursday
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Me too Brett"
Wednesday
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Thanks Avi. I do not think it is going to be an easy battle, but I am willing to do what it takes to get though it. Wishing you the best Avi. I have been where you are and it is hard when your in that state of thinking to redirect it to you did what…"
Wednesday
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I am glad it helps you. I am going to try antidepressants and therapy. That is my choice. I believe enough in myself that with help, I can lead a better and happier life. But it will take some work on my part and I am willing to take the steps to…"
Wednesday
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I have come to the conclusion that I am clinically depressed. I am seeking the help of professionals. Please wish me a speedy recovery. Bluebell"
Wednesday
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"A responsible thought Virginia. Bluebell"
Wednesday
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I love that book Brett. I will check out the Cortisol manager. It can not hurt and might help. Bluebell"
Wednesday
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"This anxiety is hard to get through sometimes. I am having a surge of adrenaline right now with a pounding heart and an unnamed fear. I have a book called "Jesus Calling". This would be a good time to read it. I also am going to text my…"
Oct 9
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"It is morning and I feel like crying. I miss the things I used to do with Mom when she woke up. Now all I have are the cats and my dog to care for and keep me company. It just seems like I should be moving on faster than I am and developing a life…"
Oct 8
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I am doing poorly emotionally and physically. I dread the holidays that are coming up. I dread the mornings and the nights. I do not know what to do anymore to find some peace and meaning in life. I am fearful a lot. I feel so helpless and useless.…"
Oct 6
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi all. I am doing okay. I miss my Mom everyday, but my thoughts of her are beginning to change. I find myself remembering every day moments with fondness vs sadness. For instance, when the phone rang, I always said to Mom "I will get it".…"
Sep 24
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Lia I am so sorry for your loss. Bluebell"
Sep 16
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Missing my Mom a lot too today. I am in tears. Bluebell"
Aug 24
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi Jayne. Welcome back. Bluebell"
Aug 21
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Actually, I am glad you did not see your Mom pass from this life to the next. I was there  for mine and it haunts me that I watched her struggled for breath. There are other things that happened before they took her away that I will never…"
Aug 19
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I can relate. There is no definite diagnosis whether my Mom passed away from her heart condition or respiratory failure. I will never know. But there was nothing I could have done to prevent it. That was out of my control. I pray that you feel your…"
Aug 19

Profile Information

About my Loss:
Loss of mother as an adult

Comment Wall (6 comments)

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At 12:54pm on August 25, 2017, Brett Bowman gave BLUEBELL a gift
Gift
You may be on the other side of the country but I know that a prayer can reach that far. God Bless you.
At 4:46pm on August 15, 2017, Joy said…

Bluebell, your post is identical to my feelings and I'm sure others. I try to stay extra busy, distracted so I don't think about my loss. But as you say, grief always catches up. It caught up with me at 2am this morning and I couldn't go back to sleep right away. It caught up with me again while I was sitting in my office at work, it caught up with me again while I'm in my car driving home. My heart is broken too and I don't think anything can fix that.

I hope you find the purpose you are seeking. I haven't found it yet.

At 5:32pm on July 25, 2017, Panda said…
Hi bluebell I'm so sorry about what happened. This will be the first Christmas without my mom too but you can get through this. I know it's hard but I know you can get through it. Stay strong. She's watching over you and she's in a better place now out of pain. Hugs <3
At 7:06pm on July 24, 2017, Heather said…
Bluebell could you check my comment wall? The young girl that posted today, panda sounds really distraught and am concerned about her. She commented that she didn't want to be here anymore and said that no one wants her. Not sure what to do since she lives somewhere in Cranston, USA and I live in Canada. Can I contact the administrator of this site? Can't get her words out of my head and am worried about her:(. If you have time can you let me know your thoughts? Thank you
Heather
At 10:10am on May 2, 2017, Tasha said…
Thank you for such kind words. God bless
At 6:12pm on February 28, 2017, Heather said…
So sorry for your loss of your Mom...please know that you are wished much strength always. Take good care of yourself...
 
 
 

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Latest Activity

jen brown is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
17 hours ago
bluebird replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Joe, Thank you for your response, and for providing the link to your post about your NDE as well as describing it in more detail here. Although it's terrible that you were in that accident, in a way it was a blessing for you, in that it allows…"
yesterday
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Lia, your post made me cry because I also feel similar.  I wish you all strength "
yesterday
Bern commented on Kar's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"2012 September 30th. This fight is real. My only son was shot in the head. The girl and her brother were in the house when it happened. The told police that they were playing with the gun. Well a sister and brother will die and go to hell or heaven…"
Saturday
Teresa D. commented on Kar's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Judy sometimes I feel the same way...why do some who don't deserve to live get to while our kids didn't.  And sometimes when I hear others use that word, "miracle" it upsets me too."
Saturday
Teresa D. commented on Kar's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Connie forgive me if I screw this up but the line, "Don't cry for me, cause I live in eternity" runs through me head all the time."
Saturday
Teresa D. commented on Kar's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Connie what a beautiful gift!!!!! That was Daniel, letting you know he's there. "
Saturday
Teresa D. commented on Kar's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Ginger I left all my sons pictures right where they were I need to see them. "
Saturday
Teresa D. commented on Kar's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"It's been a while since I've checked in.  I'm actually melting down right now. Don't know what brought it on but can't seem to stop.  I miss everyone and think of all of you all the time.  Michael's…"
Saturday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Lia, a few lost minutes cannot compete with a lifetime of love that you shared with your mom."
Friday
Lia Lynch commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi there.  Brett, you were (are) totally right -- I was and think I still am in shock. There was so much to do, and with my kid to take care of, I wasn't processing. At all. Still not. I didn't get to say goodbye.  She was in a…"
Friday
M Adams commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"As Brett suggests, you sure can be griefstricken without feelings of guilt -- for me guilt doesn't seem relevant to my deep sadness about losing my mother.  It's more a combination of loneliness, shock, emptiness, disappointment…"
Thursday
David is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Thursday
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Seems like we all have our regrets and sadness that we live with every day. But I have noticed for myself that though I still have them, they have softened over time. Bluebell On a different subject I want to celebrate this morning of being able to…"
Thursday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett, me too, the only guilt I have is if I did not stop at her house for three minutes, I would have been there, but I was not. I say it everyday why did I do that..."
Thursday
Virginia G posted a blog post

No reason to live

No happiness.  Nothing to look forward to.  Constant pain.  Memories everywhere and longing to be able to make more or even talk about them.  Scared, needing answers, anxious, lost, angry, devastated, guilt ridden.   how could life be so cruel?  It’s just not possible.See More
Thursday
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi, what is what’s app?  I don’t have a smart phone."
Thursday
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"The pain seems to get worse everyday.  I guess the numbness is starting to wear off.  I need God to listen to me.  I can’t live like this."
Thursday
M Adams posted a blog post

In black and white

Today I had to respond to several emails and repeatedly write down that my mother is dead. Finding it very hard to keep writing the words, so hard that it took several days of tearful effort to complete the three most pressing responses.  Finally got them done.  I just miss my mother so much.  I hate picking up the phone now because some part of me still expects her voice at the other end of the line. I feel wounded by family and friends who are grieving so differently from me, who are keen to…See More
Wednesday
M Adams left a comment for Daniella
"On the surface our situations could hardly be more different -- my mother just died, she was 84 years old and had numerous health problems the last five years -- but reading your words touched me, somehow I felt like they were my own, the…"
Wednesday

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