BLUEBELL
  • Female
  • Santa Ana, CA
  • United States
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Lost my Mom
5 Replies

I am new here. I lost my Mom on Valentines Day. There is a void in my life  that I need to figure out how to fill. I have been her caregiver for the past 3 years and she has been the center point of…Continue

Started this discussion. Last reply by Jennifer Mar 12, 2017.

 

BLUEBELL's Page

Latest Activity

BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Seems like we all have our regrets and sadness that we live with every day. But I have noticed for myself that though I still have them, they have softened over time. Bluebell On a different subject I want to celebrate this morning of being able to…"
Oct 11, 2018
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Me too Brett"
Oct 10, 2018
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Thanks Avi. I do not think it is going to be an easy battle, but I am willing to do what it takes to get though it. Wishing you the best Avi. I have been where you are and it is hard when your in that state of thinking to redirect it to you did what…"
Oct 10, 2018
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I am glad it helps you. I am going to try antidepressants and therapy. That is my choice. I believe enough in myself that with help, I can lead a better and happier life. But it will take some work on my part and I am willing to take the steps to…"
Oct 10, 2018
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I have come to the conclusion that I am clinically depressed. I am seeking the help of professionals. Please wish me a speedy recovery. Bluebell"
Oct 10, 2018
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"A responsible thought Virginia. Bluebell"
Oct 10, 2018
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I love that book Brett. I will check out the Cortisol manager. It can not hurt and might help. Bluebell"
Oct 10, 2018
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"This anxiety is hard to get through sometimes. I am having a surge of adrenaline right now with a pounding heart and an unnamed fear. I have a book called "Jesus Calling". This would be a good time to read it. I also am going to text my…"
Oct 9, 2018
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"It is morning and I feel like crying. I miss the things I used to do with Mom when she woke up. Now all I have are the cats and my dog to care for and keep me company. It just seems like I should be moving on faster than I am and developing a life…"
Oct 8, 2018
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I am doing poorly emotionally and physically. I dread the holidays that are coming up. I dread the mornings and the nights. I do not know what to do anymore to find some peace and meaning in life. I am fearful a lot. I feel so helpless and useless.…"
Oct 6, 2018
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi all. I am doing okay. I miss my Mom everyday, but my thoughts of her are beginning to change. I find myself remembering every day moments with fondness vs sadness. For instance, when the phone rang, I always said to Mom "I will get it".…"
Sep 24, 2018
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Lia I am so sorry for your loss. Bluebell"
Sep 16, 2018
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Missing my Mom a lot too today. I am in tears. Bluebell"
Aug 24, 2018
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi Jayne. Welcome back. Bluebell"
Aug 21, 2018
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Actually, I am glad you did not see your Mom pass from this life to the next. I was there  for mine and it haunts me that I watched her struggled for breath. There are other things that happened before they took her away that I will never…"
Aug 19, 2018
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I can relate. There is no definite diagnosis whether my Mom passed away from her heart condition or respiratory failure. I will never know. But there was nothing I could have done to prevent it. That was out of my control. I pray that you feel your…"
Aug 19, 2018

Profile Information

About my Loss:
Loss of mother as an adult

Comment Wall (6 comments)

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At 12:54pm on August 25, 2017, Brett Bowman gave BLUEBELL a gift
At 4:46pm on August 15, 2017, Joy said…

Bluebell, your post is identical to my feelings and I'm sure others. I try to stay extra busy, distracted so I don't think about my loss. But as you say, grief always catches up. It caught up with me at 2am this morning and I couldn't go back to sleep right away. It caught up with me again while I was sitting in my office at work, it caught up with me again while I'm in my car driving home. My heart is broken too and I don't think anything can fix that.

I hope you find the purpose you are seeking. I haven't found it yet.

At 5:32pm on July 25, 2017, Panda said…
Hi bluebell I'm so sorry about what happened. This will be the first Christmas without my mom too but you can get through this. I know it's hard but I know you can get through it. Stay strong. She's watching over you and she's in a better place now out of pain. Hugs <3
At 7:06pm on July 24, 2017, Heather said…
Bluebell could you check my comment wall? The young girl that posted today, panda sounds really distraught and am concerned about her. She commented that she didn't want to be here anymore and said that no one wants her. Not sure what to do since she lives somewhere in Cranston, USA and I live in Canada. Can I contact the administrator of this site? Can't get her words out of my head and am worried about her:(. If you have time can you let me know your thoughts? Thank you
Heather
At 10:10am on May 2, 2017, Tasha said…
Thank you for such kind words. God bless
At 6:12pm on February 28, 2017, Heather said…
So sorry for your loss of your Mom...please know that you are wished much strength always. Take good care of yourself...
 
 
 

Groups

Latest Activity

Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I would rather cry on the outside than on the inside. Crying on the outside is a release. I am really tired of being sad. I'm also tired of being scared. Life without my mom still seems like a scary proposition. All we can do is to continue to…"
18 minutes ago
Profile IconGeorge Makhniashvili and Amatullah joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Saturday
Brett Bowman replied to Lynn Fisher's discussion New here in the group I miss my Mom!
"You and I experienced something very similar. You are not an anonymous person who lost her mother. I just wish that I knew the words that would make it all better. I don't. I'm still trying to figure it out for myself. All I know is that…"
Saturday
Lynn Fisher replied to Lynn Fisher's discussion New here in the group I miss my Mom!
"Thank you so much for your kind words.  It means a lot to me that you would take the time to bring me some peace, which you have."
Friday
Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"So glad you have your daughter.  I was so close to my Dad & so many wonderful memories of time I spent with him.  It has been over four months since I lost my Mom.  I try to stay busy, but still have a lot of grief…"
Friday
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi All,  Hope everybody doing good. My daughter is growing up and keeps me busy but any day I sit and feel guilty of not serving my mother, I feel like crying. She should have enjoyed so much with her grand daughter but destiny had some other…"
Friday
Linda Engberg and M Adams are now friends
Friday
Linda Engberg commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"Hi M Adams, Thank you for your kindness. Each year on his birthday I plant a tree or bush in his memory. Yesterday I bought this plague for my garden."
Thursday
M Adams commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"Linda, hope your day is uplifted by beautiful memories of celebrations you shared with Julian.  Do you have any special ritual or observance for his birthday?  Acknowledging such days is challenging for me, yet I do want to honour them.…"
Thursday
Profile IconMichele Erickson, Pamela smitherman and Shorma joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Wednesday
Linda Engberg commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"Today is Julian's birthday. I miss him so much Thanks for your post Morgan. You put into words what I have a hard time expressing."
Wednesday
morgan commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"Michael,   Wish I had an answer to: "just how are we Widows and Widowers supposed to pick up the pieces. ? I am battling my emotions every day, the mood swings are awful.." I am not sure if I am really picking up the pieces.…"
Wednesday
Linda Engberg commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"JO, I read this each morning but it does not help. I just struggle through each day."
Jul 9
Michelle replied to Brett Bowman's discussion Are We Alone?
"I was in the exact situation. But I was the one who offered help. But everything I did was wrong to my sister. And I stopped because of that. Your post made me see her side of it. My mom died this year. My sister only cuses me out. She won't…"
Jul 9
M Adams commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"Michael, just wondered if you would ever be interested in something like a book club?  A friend of mine who is a widow joined one recently and getting together with people to talk about what they’ve all read seems to be helping her, not…"
Jul 8
dream moon JO B commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"yep linda senetty of prey  i get or a versee i herd it a funrell im in nxt room waitin for u or god willget room reddy fro u  to day had bit of wobllcry to day but neededd to cry "
Jul 8
Linda Engberg commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"Michael, After 7 years I still remain lost and I know I will be until my Husband and I are together once again. As in the Serenity Prayer, God can not grant me serenity to accept things I cannot change. I just try to live each day."
Jul 8
Michael Thompson commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
" I am at my wits end with loneliness.  Losing my wife in 2014 has taken away a certain confidence, and this happens to those left behind. Being married is much more than a ring, it is a friend, and companion, someone who knows you better…"
Jul 8
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
Jul 7
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"John So sorry about your Sister. I myself spent the 4th with my sweet dog Babie J. I prefer her company to humans. She does not judge me she just loves me for what I am.  I too believe that death does not do us part. We we love each other until…"
Jul 7

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