silvia maria
  • Female
  • porto alegre
  • Brazil
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Everything small going wrong trigger a setback

Lately I have been way more seletive about interactions. Because they trigger easily to a place lost in space and time. Its like Rolling down this big Mountain over and over just to feel Al right,…Continue

Started Apr 17, 2017

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silvia maria updated their profile
Aug 5
silvia maria replied to silvia maria's discussion Missing my identity in the group I miss my Mom!
"Jane i feel 100 percent The same. My mother was there tô pick-up me up. Tô cheer. Tô confort. And its só Hard tô do things with no one tô cheer, enjoy success with, tô confort. She and i hád a vwry…"
Aug 5
Jane replied to silvia maria's discussion Missing my identity in the group I miss my Mom!
"I'm so sorry for you loss.  This is my story too. My Mom passed in 2014 and I was completely lost.  I used to run races (not so much) and did all kind of triathlons and Ironmans and my Mom was such a big part of that. She loved what I…"
Aug 4
silvia maria added a discussion to the group I miss my Mom!
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Missing my identity

Mother hás such a powerful influênce, that sinse she passed a few years ago i feel i lost good part of my identity. I have done a lot in my life. But she hás a bigger print in me than i realized. I loved tô run tô tell her good things and see her rejoyce with me was a very powering process. Now i have tô rejoyce quietly, as no other person on Earth is like her. She rejoyced with me the smallest things. Every litthe thing was special. We made tem special. We cheeared each other when sad.…See More
Aug 4
silvia maria joined Karen's group
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I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....
Aug 4
silvia maria added a discussion to the group Tribute to Our Moms
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What her life and departure tought me

My mother passing has made me more introvert than usual. Than i remember how introvert she was most The time. I remember goods and bads. And sometimes attaching tô memóries can be good when they are good. I feel incredably guilty whan they arent. And peace comes where julgamento stops. The mind is quiet and i remember her on a distant but conforting as if she lives in me for her best parts. Realizing she us gone and all feelings good or bad belong to the owner only, is a process. Being abre tô…See More
Aug 4
silvia maria joined Joy's group
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Tribute to Our Moms

This group is dedicated to those special women who are our biggest fans, loudest cheerleaders, and life’s leaning pole.This group is dedicated to our mom, whose sacrifice began at birth and ended at death, but whose love lives forevermore!See More
Aug 4

Profile Information

About Me:
I am a professional who lived abroad and used to a fast pace environment. I lost good part of my health to 2 back surgeries. I moved a lot and moved on. I have 3 citizenships and spent over a decade in canada. Now i chose home to Live by The beach in brazil in hopes to mend some broken pieces.
About my Loss:
I am in the process of grieving my mother´s loss. Since she passed i chose to get away from the City life and relocated. Hopefuly this Will help healing. I feel incredably lonely at times. I am realize now that im more vulnerable than id like to admit. Prone to enter in relationships that dont make sense in all levels, or to have to Pull back from abusive friends instead of drawing the line earlier. Stiller trying to find my way.

Silvia maria's Blog

Health in context of grief

Safe to assume the deffenses go down with the spirits. But in all fairness I´ve been sick for a while since I had the back surgeries, and it´s sometimes hard to separe effects from feeling ups and downs to the food and habits healthy and unhealthy. Added to that the idea that I will be ok and doctors don´t seem to  do much more for me these days. Neverhteless, some times I go to fix one thing and the medication side effects harm in some ways or the pain meds have caused me to faint and break…

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Posted on September 17, 2017 at 8:00am

How to avoid old patterns of being frozen in time in the NON ACTION

As i am moving on to making my way back to work these days, seems I have to avoid the MENTAL state whereas the mind goes into some FROZEN state whereas I am unabe to move on in a healthy manner. See once we decided to leave that state of mind whereas the self pitty pot is full and the gun of frustration pointed at self, justified hurting or not that keeps me back to a state of NON ACTION or POOR REACTION, where self blame mixes with the stan still place....well, times changed. I realize I…

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Posted on September 9, 2017 at 3:30am

Does religion help?

I consider myself spiritual and not much in favour of organized religion. But lately I thought that could perhaps help to bring some peace or have some positive impact, So for the last  weeks I have been going once a week to this evangelic church witch I quite enjoy the visits. In the beggining was some help to put more peace in my heart and feel better. And that had a positive impact however I needed that new boost the next week or things would feel heavier somehow. Some weekes later I…

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Posted on September 8, 2017 at 5:30pm — 2 Comments

How do we treat ourselves....?

Here is a reality check I was faced with very recently. I had to take vitamins after my doctors persistent advice and I got a few extra pounds. Nothing much but enough to bring bullying from a very unlikely source. A friend that recently separated, a guy who insisted to say every single time he saw me that I was FAT. Even though most my friends would say the complete opposite. That I look healthier. In fact was so many times I heard from the same friend (also my neighbour) that I came to the…

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Posted on July 16, 2017 at 8:30am

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Latest Activity

Colleen Kent is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
15 hours ago
Roxanne Burton is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Sunday
Pam commented on Joe H.'s video
Nov 23
Pam left a comment for Cj
"Just wanted to reach out and say sorry for your loss. Beautiful pictures"
Nov 23
Pam left a comment for Alex Menchaca
"Sorry for your loss, beautiful pictures"
Nov 23
Drewtoo replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"I hold back from seeking death, as well...I still need to set an example for some people in my life. I also feel that maybe taking your own life might somehow then inhibit being able to connect with him, like maybe be in a different…"
Nov 17
Luna Nightshade replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"My condolences to you as well. I remember that I have tried to reach out to him in lucid dreams, but I always woke before I succeeded. I wish you the best of luck should you try."
Nov 17
Luna Nightshade and mary kenneth are now friends
Nov 16

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