silvia maria
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  • porto alegre
  • Brazil
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Everything small going wrong trigger a setback

Lately I have been way more seletive about interactions. Because they trigger easily to a place lost in space and time. Its like Rolling down this big Mountain over and over just to feel Al right,…Continue

Started Apr 17, 2017

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silvia maria posted a blog post

Health in context of grief

Safe to assume the deffenses go down with the spirits. But in all fairness I´ve been sick for a while since I had the back surgeries, and it´s sometimes hard to separe effects from feeling ups and downs to the food and habits healthy and unhealthy. Added to that the idea that I will be ok and doctors don´t seem to  do much more for me these days. Neverhteless, some times I go to fix one thing and the medication side effects harm in some ways or the pain meds have caused me to faint and break 3…See More
Sep 17, 2017
silvia maria commented on silvia maria's blog post Does religion help?
"I hear you. I am much less inclined to organized religion per say tcompared to the solid belief in God. Though I think some religion may be a good tool to approximate to God, some do quite the opposite in their actions and attitudes. But one thing…"
Sep 15, 2017
Dennis C. commented on silvia maria's blog post Does religion help?
"I was just wondering. Is it possible to to separate religion from God? It's my opinion that Most Religion does NOT teach the Bible. They teach their own viewpoint or dogma. I think that when we search for the truth in the Bible we learn that…"
Sep 15, 2017

Profile Information

About Me:
I am a professional who lived abroad and used to a fast pace environment. Currently making some carrer changes to suit my own special needs. Rebuilding my life around this and undertaking suitable treatments. Up until very recently I had been coming closer to my mother and became her primary caregiver. Which was suddenly interrupted by an hemorrhagic avc.
About my Loss:
I am in the process of grieving my mother´s loss. Although she is still alive family members have made a lot of changes making it a lot more inhospitable to visit. She is in a clinic now which I had to report to police for negligence and since other family members chose to keep her there I don´t feel remotely near comfortable to visit. I have done all in my power to change clinics. But as is i have to cope with earlier loss of her without the actual loss of her life yet. I was the primary caregiver. And I am grieving for loosing a lot more than her actual life.

Silvia maria's Blog

Health in context of grief

Safe to assume the deffenses go down with the spirits. But in all fairness I´ve been sick for a while since I had the back surgeries, and it´s sometimes hard to separe effects from feeling ups and downs to the food and habits healthy and unhealthy. Added to that the idea that I will be ok and doctors don´t seem to  do much more for me these days. Neverhteless, some times I go to fix one thing and the medication side effects harm in some ways or the pain meds have caused me to faint and break…

Continue

Posted on September 17, 2017 at 8:00am

How to avoid old patterns of being frozen in time in the NON ACTION

As i am moving on to making my way back to work these days, seems I have to avoid the MENTAL state whereas the mind goes into some FROZEN state whereas I am unabe to move on in a healthy manner. See once we decided to leave that state of mind whereas the self pitty pot is full and the gun of frustration pointed at self, justified hurting or not that keeps me back to a state of NON ACTION or POOR REACTION, where self blame mixes with the stan still place....well, times changed. I realize I…

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Posted on September 9, 2017 at 3:30am

Does religion help?

I consider myself spiritual and not much in favour of organized religion. But lately I thought that could perhaps help to bring some peace or have some positive impact, So for the last  weeks I have been going once a week to this evangelic church witch I quite enjoy the visits. In the beggining was some help to put more peace in my heart and feel better. And that had a positive impact however I needed that new boost the next week or things would feel heavier somehow. Some weekes later I…

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Posted on September 8, 2017 at 5:30pm — 2 Comments

How do we treat ourselves....?

Here is a reality check I was faced with very recently. I had to take vitamins after my doctors persistent advice and I got a few extra pounds. Nothing much but enough to bring bullying from a very unlikely source. A friend that recently separated, a guy who insisted to say every single time he saw me that I was FAT. Even though most my friends would say the complete opposite. That I look healthier. In fact was so many times I heard from the same friend (also my neighbour) that I came to the…

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Posted on July 16, 2017 at 8:30am

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Latest Activity

Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Yes Brett, perfectly said. They will surely forgive us and I just need to forgive myself.  I will be fulfilling her pending wishes which will help me to forgive myself and also take more care of my Dad as he is alone now."
54 minutes ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi, I am sorry that it's taken a while for me to respond to you. I ready your story and I felt it. I am so sorry about your mom. If someone were to ask me what the prevailing emotion on this website is, I'm not sure that I would say…"
1 hour ago
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Thanks for amazing words Brett. Yes the belief that we will meet our mother in heaven is a great motivation to love life."
1 hour ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"A friend of mine lost his brother to suicide last year. My friend asked me if I thought that his brother was in Hell. There's a question that no one wants to be asked. There's just no way of knowing. And I don't want to make a joke…"
1 hour ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I have to add I miss my mom terribly, every single night I get in bed and in the darkness I cry and tell her if you are near me and can hear me I love you mom.   I say to her one day you will let me know what happened. Every night I say…"
5 hours ago
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Well said theressa. I have got the first motivation to get out of grief. My mother always wanted to have our own car which I never bought but now my first aim is to fulfil this wish."
6 hours ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi I am very sorry for your loss, this is a great group. Brett somehow you always seem to shed light on a dismal situation.  Thank you. Virginia- no God does not allow bad things to happen to people, when we are brought into this world our…"
6 hours ago
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Virginia, it will be better if you dont find out the things you should have done better in hospital. It will make your grief stronger. I tried but stopped in between because it was causing lot of pain."
7 hours ago
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett, Bluebell,   thanks for the love and for caring.  I am still afraid of not knowing what happens to people that end their life.  I wouldnt want to ruin my only chance to be with her again.  Then again, wouldn’t a…"
9 hours ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Virginia, I thought about it but it was never a real possibility for me. As I said earlier, there is nothing in this world that would hurt my mom more than ending my own life. I will never do it. I try to be careful. I'm such a religious…"
yesterday
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Agree with you Virginia. Sometimes we actually dont know what we are doing."
yesterday
Mike H. posted a blog post

What Can Help Me if I'm Depressed?

The best help comes from “God, Who comforts and encourages and refreshes and cheers the depressed.”—2 Corinthians 7:6, The Amplified Bible.What God gives to help the depressedStrength. God “refreshes and cheers” you, not by removing all your problems, but by answering your prayers when you pray for the strength to cope. (…See More
yesterday
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi, Im sure you were giving your Mom the medicines that you thought were best at the time.  Did you ask the doctor if that one dose would have made a difference?  Sadly, it probably wouldn’t have. I had no idea there were only a few…"
yesterday
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Thanks bluebell. Yes I joined the group so that I can discuss by grief and get some good advices. Virginia, same thing happened with me as well. My mother oncologist was also not telling me complete details amd just use to say that only few days…"
yesterday
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi I am very sorry for your loss. I understand the sadness and guilt you are going through right now; all of us do. This is a good place to come and talk and share your feelings. You may not get an answer back right away sometimes, but there has…"
yesterday
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi,   welcome, people on here are very supportive.  I am going through the same guilt as far as what happened in the end.  In the hospital, I didn’t talk to the doctors enough, I don’t know what I was doing.  Now I…"
yesterday
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Virginia It sounds like you are in a very dark place. Before it gets too bad, I beg of you to reach out for help. Call 911 if you have to. Trust that you will feel better than you do now and you have to be alive to find that out. Bluebell"
yesterday
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"  As always, Brett thank you for your caring posts.  I think you could be a writer or counselor.  Thanks everyone else for support also.  I can’t offer any help because I dont know what to do.  I was thinking tonight,…"
yesterday
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi Guys This is Avi and I am from India. I lost my mother on 15 may after her 7 months battle with last stage gall bladder cancer.  The grief that I possess now is that although I was closely monitoring her treatment since the first day, I was…"
yesterday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Theresa, I feel like a hypocrite when I try to think of something to say to you that would bring you peace. Because I know that I would feel the same way you do if that had happened to me. There was something. Before my mom came home on Hospice, she…"
yesterday

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