silvia maria
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Everything small going wrong trigger a setback

Lately I have been way more seletive about interactions. Because they trigger easily to a place lost in space and time. Its like Rolling down this big Mountain over and over just to feel Al right,…Continue

Started Apr 17

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silvia maria posted a blog post

Health in context of grief

Safe to assume the deffenses go down with the spirits. But in all fairness I´ve been sick for a while since I had the back surgeries, and it´s sometimes hard to separe effects from feeling ups and downs to the food and habits healthy and unhealthy. Added to that the idea that I will be ok and doctors don´t seem to  do much more for me these days. Neverhteless, some times I go to fix one thing and the medication side effects harm in some ways or the pain meds have caused me to faint and break 3…See More
Sep 17
silvia maria commented on silvia maria's blog post Does religion help?
"I hear you. I am much less inclined to organized religion per say tcompared to the solid belief in God. Though I think some religion may be a good tool to approximate to God, some do quite the opposite in their actions and attitudes. But one thing…"
Sep 15
Dennis C. commented on silvia maria's blog post Does religion help?
"I was just wondering. Is it possible to to separate religion from God? It's my opinion that Most Religion does NOT teach the Bible. They teach their own viewpoint or dogma. I think that when we search for the truth in the Bible we learn that…"
Sep 15

Profile Information

About Me:
I am a professional who lived abroad and used to a fast pace environment. Currently making some carrer changes to suit my own special needs. Rebuilding my life around this and undertaking suitable treatments. Up until very recently I had been coming closer to my mother and became her primary caregiver. Which was suddenly interrupted by an hemorrhagic avc.
About my Loss:
I am in the process of grieving my mother´s loss. Although she is still alive family members have made a lot of changes making it a lot more inhospitable to visit. She is in a clinic now which I had to report to police for negligence and since other family members chose to keep her there I don´t feel remotely near comfortable to visit. I have done all in my power to change clinics. But as is i have to cope with earlier loss of her without the actual loss of her life yet. I was the primary caregiver. And I am grieving for loosing a lot more than her actual life.

Silvia maria's Blog

Health in context of grief

Safe to assume the deffenses go down with the spirits. But in all fairness I´ve been sick for a while since I had the back surgeries, and it´s sometimes hard to separe effects from feeling ups and downs to the food and habits healthy and unhealthy. Added to that the idea that I will be ok and doctors don´t seem to  do much more for me these days. Neverhteless, some times I go to fix one thing and the medication side effects harm in some ways or the pain meds have caused me to faint and break…

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Posted on September 17, 2017 at 8:00am

How to avoid old patterns of being frozen in time in the NON ACTION

As i am moving on to making my way back to work these days, seems I have to avoid the MENTAL state whereas the mind goes into some FROZEN state whereas I am unabe to move on in a healthy manner. See once we decided to leave that state of mind whereas the self pitty pot is full and the gun of frustration pointed at self, justified hurting or not that keeps me back to a state of NON ACTION or POOR REACTION, where self blame mixes with the stan still place....well, times changed. I realize I…

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Posted on September 9, 2017 at 3:30am

Does religion help?

I consider myself spiritual and not much in favour of organized religion. But lately I thought that could perhaps help to bring some peace or have some positive impact, So for the last  weeks I have been going once a week to this evangelic church witch I quite enjoy the visits. In the beggining was some help to put more peace in my heart and feel better. And that had a positive impact however I needed that new boost the next week or things would feel heavier somehow. Some weekes later I…

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Posted on September 8, 2017 at 5:30pm — 2 Comments

How do we treat ourselves....?

Here is a reality check I was faced with very recently. I had to take vitamins after my doctors persistent advice and I got a few extra pounds. Nothing much but enough to bring bullying from a very unlikely source. A friend that recently separated, a guy who insisted to say every single time he saw me that I was FAT. Even though most my friends would say the complete opposite. That I look healthier. In fact was so many times I heard from the same friend (also my neighbour) that I came to the…

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Posted on July 16, 2017 at 8:30am

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Latest Activity

Brett Bowman replied to Ambreen's discussion It's hard to accept ,my mother is no more in the group I miss my Mom!
"Ambreen, It hasn't even been a month for you and I can promise you that you are still in shock. It may not feel like it. First, I just want to tell you that I am so sorry for your loss. This Christmas eve will make two years for me. It all…"
51 minutes ago
Ambreen added a discussion to the group I miss my Mom!
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It's hard to accept ,my mother is no more

 lost my mother on 24 nov 2017  , now 3 weeks have been passed  . My mother was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer  , It was a great shock for me  , She never ever smoked and she didn't have any symptoms  . I was very closed to my mother and my father has been passed away 4 years ago  When she was diagnosed with cancer  , I thought that some miracle would happen  , I started adding anti cancer dietary elements in her diet  , giving her drugs with an ambition of fighting with her disease  . But h…See More
2 hours ago
Ambreen joined Karen's group
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I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....
2 hours ago
Ambreen commented on Ambreen's blog post I LOST MY BELOVED MOTHER
"Thank you so much for reading,you truly understand my pain of loss."
2 hours ago
Janie m Snitko commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I want to cry and scream she was my best friend and I know you feel the pain Thanks"
5 hours ago
Janie m Snitko commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"My first in 68 yrs"
5 hours ago
Sherri commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hello Janie this is very hard. I miss my mom this is my first without her I'm trying not doing this very easy either. Just know we here for you anytime and know she's looking down on you. "
5 hours ago
Janie m Snitko commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"This is so hard for me! I miss my mama so much and it does not seem anybody understands but this group! I am going to my baby half sister this year for Xmas. By my father's 2nd marriage . She lost her own mother many yrs ago. I am trying to…"
5 hours ago
Denis jendrysiak posted a status
"I lost my 22 year old daughter on August 11 due to herion I'm lost"
14 hours ago
Profile IconMorgan betterly, Andrea, Rhonda and 1 more joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
16 hours ago
BLUEBELL commented on Ambreen's blog post I LOST MY BELOVED MOTHER
"I am so sorry. I lost my precious Mother on Valentines day of this year. It is shattering. Do not deny yourself the right to grieve to please others. They think they are helping, but in reality, they hurt for you and are trying to make it better.…"
16 hours ago
BLUEBELL left a comment for Katie Perry
"I am so sorry Katie. My heart breaks for you. Bluebell"
16 hours ago
Kay updated their profile
yesterday
Ambreen posted a blog post

I LOST MY BELOVED MOTHER

 I lost my mother on 24 nov 2017  , now 3 weeks have been passed  . My mother was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer  , It was a great shock for me  , She never ever smoked and she didn't have any symptoms  . I was very closed to my mother and my father has been passed away 4 years ago  When she was diagnosed with cancer  , I thought that some miracle would happen  , I started adding anti cancer dietary elements in her diet  , giving her drugs with an ambition of fighting with her disease  . But…See More
yesterday
Peggy left a comment for Aaron Hoenig
"I'm so very sorry for your loss Aaron.  I lost my husband to cancer as well.  He died in August 2015.  It's early days right now and I hope you are feeling well supported by your family and friends.  Should you ever…"
yesterday
Alice Thompson left a comment for nat
"Dear Nat, I’m so very sorry you had to lose your beloved husband. I wish you strength and comfort as you make your way through these early days and nights. There are many kind souls on this site who know about deep pain, and I recommend…"
yesterday
Profile IconKay, nat, Ambreen and 5 more joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
yesterday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Bluebell, my thoughts and prayers are with you. My brother called me the other day and he said are you ok? There is a twenty year age difference between us, so we are not that close and he lives five hours away. I said to him, yes I though you would…"
yesterday
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Another bad day. I was shopping for Christmas cards and gift bags when without warning, I broke down in tears at the register. Thank goodness the cashier was a sensitive caring person and did not just blow me off. She said "Your Mom will always…"
yesterday
Stephanie Coyle joined Courtney Adams's group
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Suicide....Hard Knowing They did it By Their Choice

This is for some of us who have lost someone due to suicide...I miss you Annie!!!See More
Saturday

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