silvia maria
  • Female
  • porto alegre
  • Brazil
Share

Silvia maria's Friends

  • AnneJ
  • Billy Jo Colt

silvia maria's Groups

silvia maria's Discussions

Everything small going wrong trigger a setback

Lately I have been way more seletive about interactions. Because they trigger easily to a place lost in space and time. Its like Rolling down this big Mountain over and over just to feel Al right,…Continue

Started Apr 17

Gifts Received

Gift

silvia maria has not received any gifts yet

Give a Gift

 

silvia maria's Page

Latest Activity

silvia maria posted a blog post

How do we treat ourselves....?

Here is a reality check I was faced with very recently. I had to take vitamins after my doctors persistent advice and I got a few extra pounds. Nothing much but enough to bring bullying from a very unlikely source. A friend that recently separated, a guy who insisted to say every single time he saw me that I was FAT. Even though most my friends would say the complete opposite. That I look healthier. In fact was so many times I heard from the same friend (also my neighbour) that I came to the…See More
Jul 16
silvia maria posted a blog post

Patterns of thinking...how do we change? HEALING

It´s not easy to trade old patterns for new ones. THere is something to be said about comfort zone, and how we resort to that when anything is outside what we know or we think it should go. Takes so much effort to make where we are remotelly OK, that it´s peaceful achieved only by slowing down the thinking and allowing ourselves just to be. But all in all...how do we make a shift into the new things with the calm and peace we need? HEALING takes time, and there is so much effort that will work.…See More
Jul 4
silvia maria posted blog posts
Jun 27
silvia maria posted blog posts
Jun 26
silvia maria posted a blog post

how does it feel to be no longer a caretaker?

Ok so after so much debate around the mother issue since her caretakin was taken over by my elder sister in a very aggressive move...here we are now. I refuse to visit because meeting the conditions to visit are pathetic to say the least. I am suppose to go to a clinic and don´t correct any negligence I see after registrering and sending to police. Holy crap, hell no. Then sister was suppose to change place but never did. THen she was suppose to arrange mother to visit here and also never did.…See More
Jun 17
silvia maria posted a blog post

taking responsibility vs NO GUILT

It´s funny how life is. When we deal with pressures it´s all bad news. It´s the rebel that gets quiet or puts up a fight....we give back in more than anyone deserves any good or crap. Because that energy is needed to go forward, and sometimes it´s an inside the mind process. In everyone´s lives come a time to separate self from everybody else. And although relationships are welcome they tend to freeze in whatever they know of us. And came to expect so little and most times we are down we find…See More
Jun 9
silvia maria posted a blog post

Mountain everest climbing....and yet some are eager to ask for MORE.

Here is my situation. I have broken ribs and trying to keep up the best I can with my obligations and god nows how hard it is. So here I find myself fighting for my own health and my family health, and there is this aunt that engages in a conversation with me that is DISTURBING to say the least. She was questioning my trip to a lawyer versus a trip to the hospital to see my mother. Yeah, I wonder how much she wants my body, my pain, and MY LIFE and having to comre across this nonsense. She…See More
Jun 5
silvia maria posted a blog post

When life doesn´t go MY WAY

Ok that´s odd. I have 3 fractured ribs. My drs and I had a hard time to grap the motive, a simple fall from my own height for a medicine peak of low blood pressure. What is even more amazing is how the people around us react when we don´t know what´s wrong but know there is suffering and pain. You know the type....the types of people who think she must be exagerating, or pitiful for a second or regretting their own attitude. What does it say about them? I think that´s why we feel like wild…See More
May 27
silvia maria posted a blog post

How should we FEEL???

Mamazing that many people think they should have a vote to what´s not theirs to start with. FEELINGS, I think each and every human being is entitled to the FULL RANGE of their own feelings. And I wonder when people tell us how to feel...if I get a vote back to jump out their crap...or tell them what I feel about thir standards of whatever is the NORM. Reality is we all feel hurt, lonely, happy, wonderful, ugly, pretty, crying, laughing...you know, just the whole human range, but there is a FLOW…See More
May 20
silvia maria posted blog posts
May 18
silvia maria posted a blog post

HOLIDAYS what a trip

So tomorrow was mother´s day, I wasnt feeling well at all and treated for back pain. While it was raining outside, conditions not favourable for any venturing out. I had bought a card for mother´s day and a rose. As I went past by them in the way in and out the kitchen, the HOLIDAY bug would try it´s GUILT trip. I had called my youngest sister and she didn´t want to go see my mother either. Since my sister too the care from me it has been so much hell to see or mother, that we came to grips to…See More
May 14
AnneJ commented on silvia maria's blog post PROCRASTINATION...
"Hi, Silvia, I read the latest from your blog and I am asking you if you could re-word what you mean to say here: "I did think about a small own ngo...." Thanks again for keeping this blog; it is amazing. Best from AnneJ."
May 12
silvia maria posted a blog post

PROCRASTINATION...

Procrastination is the ultimate REBEL inside us all. It´s the defying of time and the so many obligations that life imposes to us. I know procrastination here is at it´s best when LIFE has lost most meaning and that fire inside is null. It´s as if the rest of the world makes a clock to go in circles and we want out SILENTLY. It´s a plase to refuge quile refuting the purpose of the clocks. It´s a statement of stuck with the feeet right where the mind is, STILL. Looking for peace to coexist with…See More
May 12
silvia maria posted blog posts
May 7
silvia maria and Billy Jo Colt are now friends
May 6
silvia maria posted blog posts
May 4

Profile Information

About Me:
I am a professional who lived abroad and used to a fast pace environment. Currently making some carrer changes to suit my own special needs. Rebuilding my life around this and undertaking suitable treatments. Up until very recently I had been coming closer to my mother and became her primary caregiver. Which was suddenly interrupted by an hemorrhagic avc.
About my Loss:
I am in the process of grieving my mother´s loss. Although she is still alive family members have made a lot of changes making it a lot more inhospitable to visit. She is in a clinic now which I had to report to police for negligence and since other family members chose to keep her there I don´t feel remotely near comfortable to visit. I have done all in my power to change clinics. But as is i have to cope with earlier loss of her without the actual loss of her life yet. I was the primary caregiver. And I am grieving for loosing a lot more than her actual life.

Silvia maria's Blog

How do we treat ourselves....?

Here is a reality check I was faced with very recently. I had to take vitamins after my doctors persistent advice and I got a few extra pounds. Nothing much but enough to bring bullying from a very unlikely source. A friend that recently separated, a guy who insisted to say every single time he saw me that I was FAT. Even though most my friends would say the complete opposite. That I look healthier. In fact was so many times I heard from the same friend (also my neighbour) that I came to the…

Continue

Posted on July 16, 2017 at 8:30am

Patterns of thinking...how do we change? HEALING

It´s not easy to trade old patterns for new ones. THere is something to be said about comfort zone, and how we resort to that when anything is outside what we know or we think it should go. Takes so much effort to make where we are remotelly OK, that it´s peaceful achieved only by slowing down the thinking and allowing ourselves just to be. But all in all...how do we make a shift into the new things with the calm and peace we need? HEALING takes time, and there is so much effort that will…

Continue

Posted on July 4, 2017 at 12:21pm

Remember this...KARMA is a bitch. Don´t do to others what you wouldn´t like done to you!

Here am I taking care of my life outside the crap realms of most HUMAN UNKINDNESS. You probably kniow what I think about dating...pathetic exercise, the right person will show and unless you trust God you may spend a life time trying with the wrong ones....you know how that goes. What goes around comes around. Anyhow. My dad had to travel and sent my oldest sister to the mall with me to help me buy a cell he is giving me as a gift. So although it´s an unlikely company since all the…

Continue

Posted on June 27, 2017 at 2:05pm

Remember this...KARMA is a bitch. Don´t do to others what you wouldn´t like done to you!

Here am I taking care of my life outside the crap realms of most HUMAN UNKINDNESS. You probably know what I think about dating...pathetic exercise, the right person will show and unless you trust God you may spend a life time trying with the wrong ones....you know how that goes. What goes around comes around. Anyhow. My dad had to travel and sent my oldest sister to the mall with me to help me buy a cell he is giving me as a gift. So although it´s an unlikely company since all the…

Continue

Posted on June 27, 2017 at 2:00pm

Comment Wall

You need to be a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community to add comments!

Join Online Grief Support - A Social Community

  • No comments yet!
 
 
 

Latest Activity

BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Christine and Janie. Thank you both for your comments Bluebell"
2 hours ago
Janie m Snitko commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"By her home I meant my Mom's."
2 hours ago
Janie m Snitko commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi everyone! Today was a stressful day for me. I found a great website it is called Soul Proof .com.  Bluebell I thought about you as I was reading different things on after death experiences. Both times my daughter and I have been together in…"
2 hours ago
Profile IconJen and LoveGoli joined Jon-Paul Ackerman's group
5 hours ago
JO B commented on Mike H.'s blog post Repost: Is It Wrong to Grieve?
"no its ok 2 grief evn ifs its a 50 yrs its still ok evn 80 yrs its ok no 1 shud tell pele 2 not giref its not lk a op or bandge u can tak off its not griefs 1 thng u ca n not heal  sorry if im sayin wong thngs heat sorry abot yore loss 2"
5 hours ago
JO B replied to JO B's discussion mad at god
5 hours ago
Courtney Boyke posted a status
"I feel lost a lot of the time kinda more depressed than anything"
9 hours ago
Courtney Boyke and Mary Ann Troxell are now friends
9 hours ago
Christine Ford commented on Julie Dolsey-Weiss's group Traumatic, Sudden Loss
"I'm new to the group.  In November 2015 my Mom & Dad were cutting a tree branch in their backyard and the branch fell on my Mom and killed her.  I am numb some days.  I just try to focus on how wonderful my mom was, not how…"
9 hours ago
Christine Ford commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Bluebell, thank you for posting the comment about having a mother that loved you, food to eat, and your family.  I too am luck to have/have had those things.  Your comment reminded me of what I have to be thankful for.  Christine"
9 hours ago
Christine Ford joined Karen's group
Thumbnail

I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....
9 hours ago
Christine Ford updated their profile
10 hours ago
Profile IconChristine Ford and julia shvekky joined Julie Dolsey-Weiss's group
10 hours ago
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Thank you Theresa. It is hard for me to accept I am still grieving her loss so much. But I am still going to try and inch forward little by little and have more "okay" times. I think my Mom would want that. I can not stay in this…"
10 hours ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Bluebell, grieving is a normal part of life and death, you are only 6 months into it, please don't expect too much, I am now almost two years and I still am trying to accept the fact of what happened and how fast it occurred.  Some days I…"
11 hours ago
Joy commented on Karen Wilson's blog post Lost my Son -only child in March of this year
"Karen, I just want to offer my sincere sympathy in losing your son. While I'm grieving my mom's death, and our situations are completely different, I do know what grief is and can relate on that point. I'm glad you are getting the…"
11 hours ago
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I am grateful I had a mother that loved me I am grateful I have a roof over my head and food to eat I am grateful for my family"
13 hours ago
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I am blessed to have my sister. But I also realize that she is going through a bad time too and it would not be fair to her to burden her with all the negativity that is going through my mind. With that being said, I am going to try and be more…"
13 hours ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Bluebell, I will pray for you as well. I understand. Theresa, that is one of the most beautiful things about Catholicism. Sitting in adoration of the sacrament is an incredible blessing. Bluebell, you wrote something that was very telling. You have…"
18 hours ago
LoveGoli replied to Maxey's discussion Moved, but nothing changes in the group Lost My Spouse...
"You are lucky that you spent 55 years, but I had only 3years and the pain is getting worse day by day. Moving from one place to another does not help because you can not remove that person from your heart.  Same feeling I am having which you…"
22 hours ago

© 2017   Created by Diana, Grief Counselor.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service