I am a mother with three children aged 22,15 and 6years. I have a partner who works full time.
About my Loss:
I have lost my Mum on 10th August 2010 and now I have lost my Dad on 10th April 2011. I have so much love for them both. Although, when I first lost my Mum, I felt it was everyones fault, but I especially felt so much guilt and hated my self for not being with her more, but I couldnt stand to hear her calling out. Now I wish I had but I had thought she would get better and return home. At least my Dad sat with her every day so she was never really alone. He loved her so much I miss him so much and am glad we regained our closeness.
Hi. You sent me a friend request a while ago. I'm sorry it took so long to get back to you. I'm embarrassed to admit this, but I'm not as computer saavy as I should be, and I did not see your request until tonight - and I'll probably mess us a few times along the way as I try to figure out how to send messages directly to you as a friend, so please be patient with me. If you ever get really tired of waiting on me cuz I'm being computer ignorant over here, you can send me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org. It may take me a while to catch on. Thanks,
Marie, So very sorry for both of your losses. I don't really know my dad well so our relationship is very awkward. I miss my mom so much. my older brother and I took my mom home for a month..it was so hard caring for her she was in so much pain..she couldn't move she had surgery on her femur. her cancer spread to her bones so you could not touch her without her crying out. she bled out..and pretty much starved to death :'( It was so awful..I not only lost my mother but also my best friend. She was only 53..I dream about her often at first it was horrible dreams. Now it's mostly memories I have of her. I do believe she has come to visit me in my dreams..One night I was laying next to my son Matthew he's 4 and autistic he was very close to my mother..She used to watch me rock him to sleep and sing to him. that night matthew was having issues falling alseep it was very late and I was dozing off but still aware of my surrounding. (my mother used to come to the side of my bed or rub my leg or arm when she was alive) So that night her presence washed over me very strongly I could feel her there..and a warm hand went up one arm and down then it happened to my other arm it felt electric almost like I got shocked and my arm went numb a second but not a bad sensation it was nice it literally felt like she was comforting me..Cause I was very tired and stressed out.. I even called out I feel you mom I feel you.. and she whispered I'm ok I'm ok..I opened my eyes cause I swore she would have been standing there but she wasn't then her presence went away..and that's not the first time thins has happened a week or 2 after she passed. I was walking down the hall at my brothers house. She used to be in the living room..so as I was about to round that corner I swore she would have been standing there..when I came into the room I felt her and this sadness washed over me..not mine but it was hers I burst out in tears and the feeling went away as fast as it came...but it affected me all night. I moved from that house 4 months ago into our own place. A couple of weeks after we moved I was rocking my youngest..and it was late well I glanced over at the recliner she used to sit in when she was over..I had this feeling she was there that washed over me so strongly it took my breath away..She stayed for a few minutes or the feeling stayed I called out are you there mom? and the feeling drifted away. I don't know if these things have ever happened to you but I truly believe my mom was paying me a few visits. I don't mean to type your ear off but I thought you might like to know these things I've experienced prob gonna copy the last part of this message and put it in after death experiences. thank you so much for adding me as a friend I hope we can help each other heal :)
Thanks for connecting with me. I am sorry for your pain and loss. I understand what you say when you couldn't handle hearing your mom call out. My mom did the same and it killed me to see it. Mom died Monday of last week. She was such a darling. We were very close. My sisters have a lot of stuff they are dealing with of their own and have basically disappeared from my life. Lots of drama over the years between all of us. You would think our moms illness and death would allow us to let go of our issues and join together one final time as sisters. Didn't happen. My one sister sat me down and told me some really hurtful things the day after mom died. It was so uncalled for, so inappropiate. I went and spoke to a Pastor at a church across from my home. He said step back, leave the door open. He said maybe in time they will miss you and WANT a relationship with you. Who needs to ask to be loved? It should just come from the heart.
My husband left me 2 years ago for a younger woman after 20 years together. I lost my home, my business - my self worth. I went back to school at 55 and have crawled out of a very deep hole. Now mom, my best friend is not here. I know she is in a better place. That comforts me. My friends have been so great. Strangers have been so great.
My sisters have planned a celebration of life for mom in Michigan. They e mailed me the time like I was a distant relative. I am to make my own flight reservations and fly by myself even thugh we fly out of the same town. How screwed up is that?
My dad left us when I was a kid, I heard he died a few years ago. So how is that for an opening story....Sue
I also have a blanket of hers that i cuddle with, she used it all the time....I have alot of things that keep me close to her....she was a painter, so I have all her paintings in my bedroom hung up....its a tribute....man I loved her so....her birthday is in 3 days
Sorry for my late reply. I rarely check this website. I am sorry to hear you lost your mom too. It is the worst thing that could have ever happened to me. My mom was my best friend and always will be. I had a weird step dad who didn't treat my mom the way I wanted her to be treated so I can kinda understand where you are coming from on your Dad not following your mom's wishes. I am so sorry. I cry all the time and then cry some more and sadly it doesn't get any easier. I can say though every now and then a breeze will brush past me and I can smell her scent. I know she is with me always and trying to remind me of that, but I just wish I had her back here and things were back to normal. She was only 55!
hi Marie....I actually feel worse at night....I will just lay there and think of her and cry and cry and cry, and the tears dont stop.....it might be silly, but I hold this teddy bear she had, even though I am older, but somehow it gets me through, I do that when I try to sleep....somehow you have to find peace Marie.....your father may not have done the right thing, but if your mom was that sick, she needed to go....you dont know whether the colostomy bag could have made a difference or not sweetie.....please try and let it go, its not easy, but, feeling guilty doesnt help things, even though you do, and your mom would not want that for you....I wish you peace, always :)
No comments yet!
Welcome to Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Have you ever had people tell you afterwards that they're here for you, but then they never follow through? That's been happening to me a lot lately.
Right after everything happened, I've had people come up to me and say…"
"I feel the same way, I cant run from my self.The pain is physical every part of me hurts. My girl loved to laugh and I know she would not want me to be in pain and sad all the time so I try to put on a happy face but inside I am screaming how is the…"
"I can relate to your experience. My mother was just recently murdered by her partner/spouse. He shot her 3 times. At least one shot was to her head, the other two shots I'm still waiting for the autopsy report to know where the other two shots…"