Sandra Nichols
  • Broken Arrow, OK
  • United States
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Virginia G left a comment for Sandra Nichols
"Are you still a member?"
Jul 9

Profile Information

About Me:
I need support form recent loss of my mom. My best friend. She lived with me for 8 years and then died from complications of cancer treatment. I feel lost and go between numbness to total grief that I can't stand.
About my Loss:
My mother passed one week before Thankssgiving this year. I am in shock, denial, and grief. I am not coping with my job well. I get angry at coworkers that ask me if I am having a good holiday. How can people ask that?
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Sandra Nichols's Blog

Crying

It is Monday morning and I am at work in my cubicle. Crying and can't stop. Finally, my sister has started crying after about 8 months from losing mom. It made me start crying because she is the one person left on this earth that I love unconditionally. It is all so sad. This life is so depressing. WHy in the world are we here? To go through grief that makes us so depressed that we can't function?  Life is just so sad and depressing, I can't think of anything good about it. I am not sucidal…

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Posted on July 23, 2012 at 9:30am

Will this emptiness and depression lift from my life?

This has been such a lonely weekend for me. My mom has been gone now 7 months. I"m so sad and the deep depression does not get any better. I try to stay busy but, that doesn't help for 24 hours a day. I"m crying right now and I still feel angry at the cancer institute for the chemotherapy on my mom. I think that doctors don't worry about elderlyl and just give them the treatments without thinking of how fragile they are. I honestly don't know at this point,  how this world can become a good…

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Posted on July 1, 2012 at 5:40pm — 7 Comments

8:30 am monday

I had a panic attack and couldn't sleep Sunday night. I should have taken something to sleep but, didn't know it would keep on. I"m so sad today that I can't cry. Sunday was hard. I laid in bed and slept.

As bad as this is, I still don't think I"m facing the reality of you being gone, mom. I so wish you could communicate with me. 

Love,

Sandra

 

Posted on June 25, 2012 at 8:37am

2:30 pm friday

Hi again mom,

I"m sitting here thinking about the weekend and torn between being glad I can be away from people and worried that I will have a panic attack while I stay in our house all alone.

I"m still praying that you are in a wonderful place, a place you deserve.

I"m still angry at the cancer doctors and think they should have made your treatments a lot less severe. Someday, I may forgive them, but right now I feel lots of anger.

I"m also angry at life in…

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Posted on June 22, 2012 at 2:23pm — 2 Comments

Comment Wall (9 comments)

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At 2:44pm on July 9, 2018, Virginia G said…

Are you still a member?

At 5:50pm on July 24, 2012, David H said…

hi sandra

thanks for picking me as a friend

 

Dave

At 5:01pm on June 20, 2012, Mark said…

Sandra,  first of all I want to say I'm so sorry for your loss.  Second i want to say thank you so much for what you suggested.  The part about taking time each day to celebrate my mom.  I'm going to start doing that.  I know she'd want me to move fwd with my life and never consider giving up.

At 2:28pm on April 19, 2012, Storyas Fawnfeather said…

Hi Sandra.  Thank you for inviting me as a friend.  I hope you are feeling ok today.  I don't even want to say good, because I doubt any of us feel good.  But, I hope you feel ok.  Do you have a pet?  I got a dog after my dad died.  Actually, i think my dad sent me the dog due to after death experiences i had (have you seen that part of this website yet?), but I'll tell you that story later.  I just got home and I'm too tired to tell it now.  But, I have a dog.  This morning I took my dog to the office with me.  On the way, I ran out of gas cuz I'm so out of it lately I forget little things like that.  Well, Elbert - my dog who is named after my dad; my dad's name was Estil Elbert - was in the car with me.  While I waited for AAA, he climbed up on me and just put his face in mine and we rubbed our foreheads together, and it made me feel a little less depressed and made me feel connected to something (I rarely feel connected any more).  It was like he can sense how bad I feel, and he was trying to get through.  It helped a little. 

At 4:19pm on January 11, 2012, Bob Naples said…

Yes,there is a place where the spirit goes immediately upon passing over.If you would like to know more details,please go to the website of Victor Zammitt.He has a free e-book which goes into tremendous detail of the afterlife experience,and I'll think this will really help to give you comfort!!Be prepared,because what you are about to read may be the TOTAL opposite of what you've been taught to believe!:)

Keep me posted!

At 12:34pm on January 11, 2012, Bob Naples said…

All three of my kids were with me when I had my nde.It was my oldest son,Chris,who called 911,and if I had been alone,I would have died.After spending several years in a haunted house,I have never had any doubts about the afterlife.However,I did have doubts about where we would spend eternity.Thanks to the nde,I have no fear death,and I'm looking forward to the homecoming party that awaits all of us at the end of this long journey!

At 3:14pm on January 10, 2012, Bob Naples said…

Sandra,

The evening before my near-death experience,I saw my mom materialize about 12-15ft. in front me.It was 7 years after she passed over to the next life.The whole visitation lasted about 45 minutes,and I can't recall what we talked about off the top of my head,but I do have it documented word for word.My mom was mom,dad,friend,etc.all in one,and I once told her that I didn't know what i was going to do when she passed.She said if there is any way that she could call me home with her,she would try.The last memory of my visitation was mom motioning with her hands,calling me towards her.The very next day,I had my nde,and as I was going into the light,I could hear my 8 r. old daughter screaming for me not to go!!This broke my heart,and I asked for more time,and the next thing ii remember is waking up in the e.r...

At 3:23pm on December 28, 2011, Lisa Gladieux said…
I was so there with my mom and held her hand as well! While it was sad losing my mom, I wouldn't have wanted it any other way. 
At 11:51pm on December 20, 2011, MIchael A Ballard said…

Hello Sandra,

Very sorry for your loss, and we all are here for you.

Through my experience, this is the best place for support and friends.

Loss is terrible and we all know how you feel.

Hope to chat on here with you soon!

Peace and prayers,

Michael
 

 
 
 

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Latest Activity

Profile IconTracey and Lisa joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
19 minutes ago
Billy Jo Colt commented on Pamela philipp's blog post I need advice
"Hi Pamela, I can understand your situation as you aretorn between two worlds. Your daughter in her own way is trying to help you with your grieving process. She thinks that her way is the only way through your grief. It is also a confrontation you…"
3 hours ago
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi Brett Your words give me hope that I will be with my mom someday. This is enough motivation to live.  Virginia, sometimes we do feel that God has done lot of injustice to us but if you look around there are people who suffer lot more than…"
4 hours ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Virginia, do you think I feel any joy right now? I don't. But I think about how much my mom loved me and how much it would hurt her if i harmed myself. She could not have led a happy life if she knew that was in my future. She would have held…"
7 hours ago
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Bluebird,   I always feel a spiritual kinship with what you write.  You were the first person here who when I started reading who was honest and told it like it was.  That hasn't changed and I truly believe that if anyone outside…"
10 hours ago
morgan commented on Pamela philipp's blog post I need advice
"Pamela, I may not be the best person to respond because U can get kind of feisty `but i am going to anyhow.  I will be at six years in January.  I have pictures of my husband all over my house.  I am still slowly going through boxes I…"
11 hours ago
Virginia G posted a discussion

What’s the point

Whats the point of living if there’s no happiness?  If you don’t care about anything except being with the person you lost...if everything is meaningless...if you can’t stand the pain or the numbness...if you don’t belong anywhere..if everything feels wrong...if you have no idea what to do about it...if you can’t get through the daySee More
12 hours ago
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"There’s no joy without her and I wouldn’t want any. its the only answer"
13 hours ago
Pamela philipp posted a blog post

I need advice

I have been very stressed and upset my daughter came back to my house for a while until she and her family gets on their feet which is not the problem the problem is she has made me get all the things that are important to me out of the house and put in the garage pictures mementos etc. because she thinks that I need to move on she said because it has been three years and she does not understand how she is upsetting me I don't want to be in this house like this anymore how do I make her…See More
17 hours ago
Denise Lavoie left a comment for Pamela philipp
"Hi everyone Scotishbrat here. We had our 1st snowfall Thursday. If Ron was here we would be out making a snowman laughing and throwing snowballs at each other.We did everything together.When he passedl felt so lost I still do its like half of me is…"
Saturday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Joe & Bluebird, Thanks for sharing you thoughts mine are exactly the same. I hate that I have to go on in this world. I have friends that our dying of cancer, I would trade places with them if I could. To endure my feelings I drink at least 6…"
Saturday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Virginia, you so often end your posts with something ominous. You are trying to say something and it is coming across loud and clear. Don't wish yourself dead. Try to live while you're alive. Find joy where you can. Never give up."
Saturday
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Some songs have popped into my head for no reason but that are appropriate.  I don’t even listen to the radio anymore so it’s not like I heard them recently.  I wasn’t trying to think of songs either.  First it was I…"
Saturday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I love the Doors. Jim Morrison is just the coolest. And I love that song. It's about feeling alone in a crowd. I can relate. Virginia, why would God tell you that you deserve to be alone? I think it is quite the opposite. You are telling…"
Saturday
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I am realizing the only people that truly love me are my family. So how am I expected to live without them?"
Saturday
bluebird replied to Kristen Harlow's discussion Feeling alone
"I agree, that is a big step. You should be proud of yourself for being able to take that step. ((((Hugs))))"
Saturday
Fran left a comment for Denise Lavoie
"Hello Scottishbrat. I just passed the 4 year mark of losing my husband. With him I felt complete. Now I just seem to be in limbo. I don't remember what  hobbies I used to enjoy. My life had been taking care of him and the 2 wonderful…"
Friday
Denise Lavoie commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi my name is scotishbrat this will be my 3rd holiday season with out my love.It is so hard to do anything.l have crying spells that are so intense it feels like l am going to die.Once l stary it could go on for hours and then l feel completely…"
Friday
Kristen Harlow replied to Kristen Harlow's discussion Feeling alone
"Such a good question. No, probably not. I've finally come to the place where I have accepted that I have to accept it's over. That feels like a big step."
Friday
bluebird replied to Kristen Harlow's discussion Feeling alone
"That is a lot of shit to deal with, all at once. It's good your sister is ok now.  If the man who you feel is your best friend and the love of your life were to come back now, do you think you would be ready to be with him now?"
Friday

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