Cindi B
  • 36, Female
  • Katy, TX
  • United States
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About Me:
I'm 27 and moved with my boyfriend to Texas a little over a year ago. I'm an only child with one thriving maternal grandmother who helped my widowed mother raise me in a small town in Illinois. We'd only been in Texas a few months when Mom's heart stopped the first time and it was a year of back and forth until she just couldn't fight anymore. Now I'm back in Texas feeling more and more alone everyday.
About my Loss:
After a year of one health complication after another my mother passed away at 58 on July 30th, 2011 from CHF. It still seems so unreal. We were always a team, and now I'm all alone and in a new town and with no one to talk to about it, not that I'm all that great at talking about what's bothering me.

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Cindi B's Blog

Almost 7 Months

 It's been almost 7 months since I lost my Mom. Sometimes I still can't believe I haven't talked with her in so long, and that I never will again. Being so far from home has made it easier to pretend that she's back home and fine. I don't know if I'll ever be able to accept that she's really gone forever. I feel like my life is still on pause and I have no idea where to go from here.I wish I could talk to my Mom about this. She always knew what to say.

 I still have a lot of…

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Posted on January 23, 2012 at 12:55pm

Yet Another Wave

Once again I feel a mess. I had a few really good days, and then yesterday I woke up feeling raw and sad. It's still lingering on today. Sometimes I wonder if it will always be like this. Start feeling like my old self and then  *Boom* back to feeling like I did the day it happened. I just want to lay on the couch and not move. The thought of showering seems too strenuous. What kind of life is that?…

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Posted on November 8, 2011 at 3:37pm — 4 Comments

Writting What I Can't Say Aloud

 

It's been almost 15 weeks since my Mom passed away.

I have so many thoughts constantly running through my head. Some days I feel crazy. I can't, or don't talk about what I'm feeling. To anyone. No one understands, so why worry or burden them with my horror stories? Which is what my life feels like; One big never ending horror…

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Posted on October 11, 2011 at 6:45pm — 1 Comment

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