Cindi B
  • 35, Female
  • Katy, TX
  • United States
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About Me:
I'm 27 and moved with my boyfriend to Texas a little over a year ago. I'm an only child with one thriving maternal grandmother who helped my widowed mother raise me in a small town in Illinois. We'd only been in Texas a few months when Mom's heart stopped the first time and it was a year of back and forth until she just couldn't fight anymore. Now I'm back in Texas feeling more and more alone everyday.
About my Loss:
After a year of one health complication after another my mother passed away at 58 on July 30th, 2011 from CHF. It still seems so unreal. We were always a team, and now I'm all alone and in a new town and with no one to talk to about it, not that I'm all that great at talking about what's bothering me.

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Cindi B's Blog

Almost 7 Months

 It's been almost 7 months since I lost my Mom. Sometimes I still can't believe I haven't talked with her in so long, and that I never will again. Being so far from home has made it easier to pretend that she's back home and fine. I don't know if I'll ever be able to accept that she's really gone forever. I feel like my life is still on pause and I have no idea where to go from here.I wish I could talk to my Mom about this. She always knew what to say.

 I still have a lot of…

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Posted on January 23, 2012 at 12:55pm

Yet Another Wave

Once again I feel a mess. I had a few really good days, and then yesterday I woke up feeling raw and sad. It's still lingering on today. Sometimes I wonder if it will always be like this. Start feeling like my old self and then  *Boom* back to feeling like I did the day it happened. I just want to lay on the couch and not move. The thought of showering seems too strenuous. What kind of life is that?…

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Posted on November 8, 2011 at 3:37pm — 4 Comments

Writting What I Can't Say Aloud

 

It's been almost 15 weeks since my Mom passed away.

I have so many thoughts constantly running through my head. Some days I feel crazy. I can't, or don't talk about what I'm feeling. To anyone. No one understands, so why worry or burden them with my horror stories? Which is what my life feels like; One big never ending horror…

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Posted on October 11, 2011 at 6:45pm — 1 Comment

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Groups

Latest Activity

Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi Danny. Surviving is art which we all need to practice. Today I met a friend whose father is witnessing the similar illness as my mother i.e. late stage cancer. He is also going through the same emotional turmoil as I went in 2018. After this…"
4 minutes ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Danny. I hear you.  December will be 4 years "
44 minutes ago
Danny replied to Carla Rose's discussion Lost my Mom a Few Days Ago in the group Lost Without My Mom
"Great reply Sandra"
1 hour ago
Danny updated their profile
1 hour ago
Danny commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Its been 5 years and here I am back on the site. Surviving and functioning but just about. "
1 hour ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Wonderful Avi!!!  "
2 hours ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Amen, Avi."
6 hours ago
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Thanks all. This group is my extended family. "
6 hours ago
M Adams commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi, that is so lovely to hear — best wishes to her and your family!"
19 hours ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"That's wonderful, Avi. Congratulations. And I wish you another 100 years with her."
19 hours ago
Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I am so happy for you & your family.  I am glad your daughter had a great birthday!  That first birthday is always special.  Take care, "
yesterday
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi All,  Friends, my daughter's first bday celebration went great. She is now 1 year old and motivating force for my dad to live. My dad is able to laugh and enjoy life because of his grand daughter. Even I feel motivated to live so that I…"
yesterday
Stephanie Berndt is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Tuesday
Judy Pugh left a comment for Kevin's Mom
"You are still Kevin’s mom, and you always will be. NOTHING, not even death, can change that. I don’t know what your beliefs are, and I’m not trying to shove my beliefs onto you. I just want you to know that I truly believe this is…"
Aug 10
Connie K commented on Kar's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Teresa D. the line is "Mama  don't you cry for me, I'm sailing in eternity..." Makes me feel emotional and happy that it resonates with you and that you remember it. <3"
Aug 9
Connie K commented on Kar's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Kevin's mom I am so terribly sorry for your devastating loss. I lost my only child as well - Daniel - at age 17. That was 6 and a half years ago. I can't tell you how i made it through, but I have, one day at a time sometimes one minute at…"
Aug 9
Gale Brunault commented on Gale Brunault's group Loss of an Only Child
"I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your precious son. Why do bad things happen to good people? We may never find the answers.......please know that you are not alone. "
Aug 9
Holycow updated their profile
Aug 9
Kevin's Mom commented on Gale Brunault's group Loss of an Only Child
"I lost my 32 yr old son, my only child, on July 10 2019. He was killed in a motorcycle accident. My heart is shattered and my life will never be the same. This is life's most cruel event."
Aug 9
Kevin's Mom joined Gale Brunault's group
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Loss of an Only Child

As bereaved parents we must deal with unique issues that accompany losing an only child. See More
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