Cindi B
  • 35, Female
  • Katy, TX
  • United States
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About Me:
I'm 27 and moved with my boyfriend to Texas a little over a year ago. I'm an only child with one thriving maternal grandmother who helped my widowed mother raise me in a small town in Illinois. We'd only been in Texas a few months when Mom's heart stopped the first time and it was a year of back and forth until she just couldn't fight anymore. Now I'm back in Texas feeling more and more alone everyday.
About my Loss:
After a year of one health complication after another my mother passed away at 58 on July 30th, 2011 from CHF. It still seems so unreal. We were always a team, and now I'm all alone and in a new town and with no one to talk to about it, not that I'm all that great at talking about what's bothering me.

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Cindi B's Blog

Almost 7 Months

 It's been almost 7 months since I lost my Mom. Sometimes I still can't believe I haven't talked with her in so long, and that I never will again. Being so far from home has made it easier to pretend that she's back home and fine. I don't know if I'll ever be able to accept that she's really gone forever. I feel like my life is still on pause and I have no idea where to go from here.I wish I could talk to my Mom about this. She always knew what to say.

 I still have a lot of…

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Posted on January 23, 2012 at 12:55pm

Yet Another Wave

Once again I feel a mess. I had a few really good days, and then yesterday I woke up feeling raw and sad. It's still lingering on today. Sometimes I wonder if it will always be like this. Start feeling like my old self and then  *Boom* back to feeling like I did the day it happened. I just want to lay on the couch and not move. The thought of showering seems too strenuous. What kind of life is that?…

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Posted on November 8, 2011 at 3:37pm — 4 Comments

Writting What I Can't Say Aloud

 

It's been almost 15 weeks since my Mom passed away.

I have so many thoughts constantly running through my head. Some days I feel crazy. I can't, or don't talk about what I'm feeling. To anyone. No one understands, so why worry or burden them with my horror stories? Which is what my life feels like; One big never ending horror…

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Posted on October 11, 2011 at 6:45pm — 1 Comment

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Wendy joined Jon-Paul Ackerman's group
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Multiple Losses Group

I am creating this site for the many of us who have suffered several losses. I lost my mom, dad, grandma(2nd mom), grandpa, my beloved dog and divorce.Many of us have lost more than one person or event.Come share!See More
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Wendy is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
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jacq kramer joined Julie Dolsey-Weiss's group
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Multiple Losses Group

I am creating this site for the many of us who have suffered several losses. I lost my mom, dad, grandma(2nd mom), grandpa, my beloved dog and divorce.Many of us have lost more than one person or event.Come share!See More
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Marie Eaddy is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Tuesday
morgan left a comment for Mannion13
"Mannion, I dont always have a moment to write to those who post a death that has affected the very fiber of their being and mainly I do it with those who have lost their spouse since that is the death that has affected me the most.  But your…"
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morgan left a comment for Lani M.
"Lani, You have hit the nail we all wanted to miss.  Nothing can hurt this bad.  Nothing.  I could never have imagined I would be as devastated, and for as long, as I have been.  I have yet to be able to reconcile the anguish.…"
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Lani M. joined Jon-Paul Ackerman's group
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Joe Kelly left a comment for Lani M.
"Lani, I wish I could give some comforting advice, but I know it's going to be hard.  I lost my wife Jan. 21, 2018 to cancer. Join the "Lost My Spouse" group and read through some of the posts there.  We share our feelings of…"
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Lani M. left a comment for Lani M.
"How do I handle the holidays alone for the first time in 45 years?"
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Teresa D. commented on Kar's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Julie, my deepest condolences. My heart is with you. Hugs"
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Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Today is the 2nd for me.  Last year I stayed home alone because my Love was always so involved with it every year at my daughters house.  Two years ago, we spent it alone together in the hospital.  Again, Catch 22 because whether…"
Nov 28
Fran commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Linda we share your pain here. It's been 5 years for me. I find myself increasingly pulling back, esp. at Holidays. I just wish family understood better that it's hard for us to celebrate anything. I don't wish this apathy on…"
Nov 28
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Today is the 7th year of not sharing Thanksgiving with my Husband. I will be spending it alone from now on. It is to hard to bear seeing everyone happy and I am tired of faking it."
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