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Comment by Anna on December 5, 2016 at 7:26pm

Thanks everyone who read my story and for your comments and suggestions. I feel a closeness with you and yet I don't even know you. I'm not happy that your hearts are broken like mine, but at least now, I know that there are others out there who know what I'm going through and even that helps. I pray for all of us. God will get us through.

Comment by Lisa Green on December 5, 2016 at 3:14pm

Anna, your story brought tears to my eyes. Many of the stories here do but they also bring comfort somehow. How heartbreaking that your mom passed so close to Christmas. This will be my first Christmas without my mom and it will be a hard one. We always went to her house and she would have all this wonderful food made and we'd sit around and eat all evening long and tell stories on each other and eventually exchange gifts. It was sad to leave when we did. Mom was happiest when all of us kids were there and now I know how she felt. I still have two kids at home and one that lives several hours away and I don't think I'll get to see him this Christmas-that will be another first. It won't be the same but I'm trying to plan ahead a little and do things a little different so we don't all feel the pain of mom not there (even though we will anyway). Dad hasn't been able to keep up with the house on his own and it would take my sister and I a lot to get it ready for company so this year, we will be meeting at my house instead. My sister and I plan to make several of mom's dishes to help us all feel like a part of her is still with us during Christmas. There's just no easy way around Mom not being here anymore but I have to keep trying to put one day together after another until I see her again. 

Comment by Theresa on December 5, 2016 at 5:10am

Heather, thank you so much for remembering, you will be in my prayers also.

God Bless

Comment by Leila on December 5, 2016 at 4:40am

I'm missing my mom so much at this time, and know that here I am not alone in that. As I was saying to Anna, I found a way to cope with the holidays better than last year (by getting out of town for family vacations at these times). But something terrible recently happened and I feel the need for my mom at my side more than ever. We went to our mountain home in Gatlinburg, Tennessee with our whole family for Thanksgiving. We treasured our time together and talked about my mom a great deal. It was so much better than last year. We all planned to return home the following Sunday but my husband and I had to stay an extra day because my dad came down with pneumonia and we had to wait for his hospital discharge. A wildfire had started in the Smoky Mountains National Park about 4-5 miles away from Gatlinburg on November 23. The air was very smoky and burned our eyes and throats, but it seemed like it started to get better so we kind of forgot about it. Before we left on Monday I cleaned and closed up the house. Everything seemed normal when we got on the road. We were home by 7 pm. About an hour later our security system in Gatlinburg alarmed with a glass break/burglary. Right after that the entire system went down so I had no access to the interior or exterior cameras. We called the area police and we learned that Gatlinburg was in flames and people were running for their lives, so of course they didn't have the resources to check on an unoccupied home. The next morning TEMA reported our entire resort burned to the ground, our home with it. The next day they retracted that report because they mistook our resort for the one right next to it (the names are similar). So our home is damaged but it survived. I feel so blessed we were able to leave when we did. I am just so sad about the devastation. The loss of lives, homes, and businesses. I've been talking to my mom through the whole thing. I know she can't hear me, but I talk to her anyway. I don't know how to get through something like this without her.

Comment by Leila on December 5, 2016 at 4:06am

My heart breaks for you, your dad, and your whole family, Anna. Though no words can ease your pain, please know I'm praying for you during this very difficult time. My mom left for heaven 19 months and 17 days ago. I still miss her every moment. Yesterday was her second birthday in heaven. I was alone for it so I stayed in bed all day. I'm not sure it ever gets easier. Last Thanksgiving and Christmas we stayed home and tried to make the holidays as normal as possible, much like you did. It was a huge mistake. This Christmas we are taking the whole family to Disney World instead. This Thanksgiving we went with my dad and our grown children and grandchildren to our mountain home instead of staying here where we always celebrated with my mom. We cooked together as we reminisced about her fabulous holiday meals. When we were playing charades we talked about the cute way she would've acted something out. She is still so much a part of our everyday lives even though she can't be here with us. We talk about how wonderful she was every day. Somehow talking about her comforts me. For me, some days are better than others, which you may begin to notice yourself as time goes on. Anyway, if there is a possibility you can take your loved ones somewhere else for the Christmas holiday I highly recommend it. If you can, try to go somewhere you've never been with your mom. That way your surroundings won't have the heaviness that home does. You can make new family memories while still honoring your mother and how much you love her.

Comment by Anna on December 4, 2016 at 8:06pm

The first anniversary of my mom's death comes up on December 20th, two days after my birthday. It will be my first birthday without her. Last Christmas Eve was so sad. We tried to get together for our annual Christmas Eve, even though we just buried mom two days before. All our presents were there, etc. it was s mistake. We noticed our dad was gone and we found him out in the barn crying. My sister and I went to hug him and we all three just sat and held each other and cried our eyes out. I know that day is coming again soon. Dad still has the Christmas tree up from last year and presents to him from mom, still unopened.

Comment by Heather on December 4, 2016 at 7:41pm

Hi Theresa,
Been thinking about you as I know the anniversary of your mom's passing is coming up. I wish I had the right words to help alleviate all the things you must be feeling at an already stressful time of year. All I can say is that my thoughts and prayers for some sense of peace or comfort are being sent your way. Also, I just watched a Ted talk by this artist named Alyssa Monks, titled "How loss helped one artist find beauty in imperfection". She talks about the loss of her beloved Mom and it was beautiful. You might find some comfort in her words...It gave me a little bit of peace for a moment. Sending hugs...
Heather

Comment by Theresa on December 4, 2016 at 7:00pm

Dec 19th will be one year for my mom.

Dec 14th will be 17 years for my dad

Very sad month for me, not to mention my grandmom passed on 12/24 many years ago.

Comment by Jean on November 25, 2016 at 10:33pm

Patricia I feel your pain. I also am a daughter, sister and a wife. No kiddos by choice. She always hinted that we needed a little tax exemption. I had much older brothers that made me babysit at a very young age so I was overwhelmed by that from age 9-12 years old. My father passed 2 weeks before my 11th birthday. Complications from WWII and Korean War service. The best thing my mother ever did for me at that time was to allow me to get a pony. We were on a budget so why she did that I think was to save me from the never ending babysitting jobs. I like some kids now I just ran out of maternal instincts at a very early age. I sometimes wish I had given her a grandchild but the cards were stacked against us genetic wise. My mother had been ill for awhile maybe aa few years and was not telling me and my husband. The Saturday after Thanksgiving 4 years ago we convinced her to let my husband take her to a walk in doctor office. She did not know that I followed along in my vehicle. They ran bloodwork and told us to take her to the ER ASAP. She had Aplastic Anemia. It took the hospital 11 days to figure that out. When they did they said the hospital was no place for her to be so she came home with us and I took care of her here. Her room at our home I still cannot go into without crying for her. She was my rock. I am also feeling sad.

Comment by Patricia on November 25, 2016 at 4:01pm

This was my first Thanksgiving without my Mom. I have lived in a different state than my Mom for most of my adult life. Every weekend and every holiday begins with a phone call with Mom. She was an excellent cook and baker. All I could do was think of her as I cooked my Thanksgiving meal. I have no children, so have never been a Mom. I am a daughter, sister and wife. I have a hard time communicating with my Dad, so I feel like I'm no longer a daughter. People around me think her death shouldn't affect me as much it seems. I'm not young and she had not been healthy for several years. But she loved me like no one else will and I miss that. I could talk and laugh with her like no one else -- she was so smart and curious. She called me Sept. 27 on my birthday. She told me she was bringing Hospice in (weekly check-ups at home). It was the last time I would hear her speak. She died Oct. 1. I'm just really sad.

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