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Comment by Lisa Gladieux on December 4, 2011 at 8:29pm

I have a daughter with special needs (cerebral palsy and deafness) and my mom loved her unconditionally.  It's not easy raising a child with special needs, but equally a blessing.  I always tell people that my daughter is my soul mate as we are so connected.  I adopted her at 6-months of age (internationally) and my mom was the proudest grandmother.  My mother would not have left my daugther if she had any ounce of energy, but the cancer was just too advanced.

Comment by Melissa Broome on December 4, 2011 at 5:04pm

I agree with you Kevin. It takes a very special person to teach disabled children. Elaine I'm sure you are very important in those children lives :) My son is Autistic and has epilepsy and chronic asthma...He's also on his second set of tubes. The school system sucks here! I wish I could find a teacher that could actually take the time to get to know my son..Instead of deeming him unteachable, They would know that he is brilliant he just learns differently :)

Comment by Kevin Velez on December 4, 2011 at 4:36pm

Elaine, what about those children with disabilities you work with?  Don't you believe you have had an impact on their lives?  I bet that you have.  Your life is not pointless. It may seem dark at the moment,  but working with disabled children sounds nothing like a pointless life.  -Kevin

Comment by Melissa Broome on December 4, 2011 at 1:49pm

I lost my mom a month before I turned 30..it sucks to cause our birthdays were 4 days apart so we always celebrated together. My birthdays are forever changed. I don't really mind not being into them though since turning 30 I don't feel much like celebrating getting older anyways. I do plan however to make my mom a cake on her Birthday and send some balloons and a single flower up. I think the kids will enjoy the symbolism. All we can do is the best we can :) take care all

  Melissa

Comment by Melissa Broome on December 4, 2011 at 4:43am

Lisa,

I'm so sorry for your loss..I also have young children, So I know how you feel there. It's like you kinda "have" to do thing's Sometimes I wish I could skip the holidays too. But I would not do that to my kids I don't want them to remember their childhood as sad and depressing. It's hard I struggle everyday to keep moving forward. My youngest 2 children have Birthdays this month as well. One on the 5th and the 11th..Matthew will be 5 and my son Nathan will be 2..It's going to be so hard without my mom. My mom passed about 2 weeks b4 my oldest son turned 7. I didn't cancel his party I got a huge bounce house and pizza and cupcakes invited our friends and close family. My mom would have been upset with me if we hadn't celebrated. I know she was there with us :) I guess I am strong...My mother and my children make me that way.

Big hugs to you!

Melissa

Comment by Lisa Gladieux on December 3, 2011 at 10:26pm

Melissa, in a "way" I feel like you meaning that I'm glad my mother is no longer in pain.  It was horrible watching her suffer and having no more good days after her surgery on August 12th.  However, I miss her and am now finding myself in protective mode...not feeling much other than emptiness.  I have a 10 year old daughter who desperately wanted the Christmas tree up along with decorations.  If it wasn't for her, I would have probably skipped Christmas this year.  I'm an only child and my mom lived with me so my relationship with her was close and sacred.  I still can't believe my mom is gone...

Comment by Kevin Velez on December 3, 2011 at 8:39pm

Elaine, I understand your pain and it really stings at the heart.  The holidays were hard.  I missed my mom so much. I leaned on the laughter of my friends and co-workers.  Although the persons I leaned on were not my blood relatives, just knowing they were showering me with kindness in light of my heavy sadness healed me in subtle way.  The holidays were no doubt hard for you and for all of us sharing on this board but trust that those people trying to distract you can help heal.  but you have to allow them to help you.  From what you wrote, It sounds like they do care about you.  Maybe not like your mom - but then something so special and so unique as a healthy relationship with one's mother is not replicable.  Can you see that so many people have never even realized the love of a mother (because they are abandoned, abused, orphaned)?  at least you've had that love for 60 years. I lost my mom at 39.  I would love to have known her another 20 years.  You are lucky, if you really look at it differently.  Be well.  -Kevin

Comment by Sue Waxman on December 2, 2011 at 2:37pm

Melissa...I love what you have written. I wish I could feel the same way. Mom died in my arms and I watched the life drain from her face. It haunts me. My mother was everything you say about your mother. I did also pray for God to take her - she suffered so much too. Melissa, I don't know how to create a quality, meaningful life for just me. I feel so very alone now. Mom was everything to me. Melissa please call me when you can 941-809-8673. I could use a grounded friend who is experiencing what I am. I am also dealing with some crap at work that I am having a hard time with. I don't deal well with nasty people and there are 2 girls I have to work with who are just that. Love Sue

Comment by Melissa Broome on December 1, 2011 at 2:01am

you don't have to leave your loved one behind to move forward. I'm taking my mom's legacy and memory right along with me. She was such a strong caring women. I hope to be half as great as her. My mom suffered sooo much. It killed me to see her in so much pain. I prayed to god..to take away her pain. I prayed with all my might. My mom went on hospice March 3rd 2011 and April 7th 2011 She left this world and all though I was sad to see her go..I thank god every day that she has no more pain. I told her it was ok to go..That I would be fine..I plan to keep that promise to my mother. It doesn't mean I miss her any less or need her any less. I just didn't want her to hurt anymore. When I walked into the room the morning she passed the shine was shining down on her face..and the first time in months she looked relaxed and at peace! I miss you mom every minute of everyday I love you! with all my heart! I will see you again! I feel you here with me..thank you for being there even though you are gone from this world.

Comment by Ilana Rabone on November 28, 2011 at 8:28am

I know how you feel Elaine!  It's been a year and a half since my mother passed away and I am still stuck in the grieving process.  It doesn't help that my father doesn't want to spend any time with me or my brother and spends all his free time with his new girlfriend. 

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