I am an only child with a 10 year special needs daughter. I am single as well (never married). I work for our county children's services department and work directly with our wonderful foster parents.
About my Loss:
My mother had been feeling sick for approximatley 10-months and ended up in the ER on 6/19/11 and it was then they found the large ovarian mass. She finally had surgery 8/12/11 and was diagnosed with Stage 111c ovarian cancer. She died 11/23/11 at the hospital.
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Bless you for the work you do and for being a loving mom to a special child...we adopted three special needs babies...two sons with severe CP and one daughter who has a personality disorder...my daughter, now 25, has disappeared into a sad lifestyle, and has been gone since before her brother died suddenly last May, so doesn't even know of his death, and my other son Bo, was present in the room when his brother died..Bo, now 29, also needs total care, so he couldn't have done anything to help his brother even if he COULD have ...we were on vacation at the beach and they shared a bedroom there...Brandon had woken up but was sleepyheaded, so we turned on his iPad to the music he loved, and left the room for a few minutes to get his food ready [he was tube fed] and when we came back to get him up he had died...we were told it was a 'cardiac event' that had happened so quickly nothing could have been done to save him, but I always wonder if only I had been there at that moment and seen something was wrong....
several years ago my mom died from complications of emphysema, and I had my hand on her ankle [I had been rubbing her leg and foot] when suddenly all the monitors simultaneously crashed, and I actually FELT a rush of energy fly out of my mom through my hand....I will never forget that feeling....It helped me to cope with losing mom, knowing she had left that body full of pain, and flown off...
But now I'm having trouble dealing with the loss of my son Brandon. Even with all I have seen and experienced that assures me that our loved ones live on, I can't seem to shake this heavy depression since I lost my Brandon...he was 22.
Hey LIsa, Yes I held my mom's hand while she passed in the hospital. My uncle freaked out and left the room during that time. My sister didn't feel there was any need to be by mom during that time. We are all so different. I'm glad I was there and held her hand.
I understand exactly how you are feeling. My wonderful mom died from the complications of chemo on June 26th 2011. She fought a courageous battle too. That monster cancer has robbed so many people of so much. I have 3 sisters but we are not close at all. You might as well say I am an only child. It is just me and my Golden Retriever and 4 cats. I work for a non-profit animal rescue. I am on an antidepressent called Effexor. It helps a great deal. My mom died within a year of being diagnosed. She suffered so much, It was so hard to witness. What gets me through every hour is sometimes denial. Other times it's knowing she no longer suffers from anything. I was watching the news this morning and a very elderly couple were being interviewed. Their son was murdered this week. The elderly man and woman where sitting on a couch holding hands. The man said "Our son is gone and thats just how it has to be". I suppose it is just that simple. How do we learn to live without them? I am here for you and many others will be too. Huggs Sue
I'm sorry I did not realize your mom did not pass that long ago. I'm so very glad you joined the site this early. I was in shock for about 2 months after my mom passed months 3, 4,5, I was in depression deeply hiding in my denial. The 6th month reality set in that my mom was gone..the 7th month I joined this site I really wish I had done it sooner. On the 7th of December my mom will be gone 8 months. I miss her soooo much. But like I sad b4 I'm glad she is no longer in pain. I need my mother! I'm not sure how to handle that aspect of her being gone. If you ever need to talk message me, take care of yourself.
My mother passed away on October 4th and the pain is still very real. My husband died one year ago on November 8th and that grief is still overwhelming. I am told, and believe, it is survivable. I am going to counseling, attend The Caring Place with my 11 year old daughter, pray, and read. I just joined this group as well, and am constantly searching for ways to get through each day. I still cry every day. You are not alone...contact me anytime. God bless you.
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