Don't grieve alone; 14,000 members and growing
Started by silvia maria. Last reply by silvia maria Aug 5, 2022.
Started by dream moon JO B Aug 13, 2021.
Started by Lucinda. Last reply by dream moon JO B Apr 19, 2021.
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Mother's Day commercials on the radio and tv! Advertisements on the internet....I can't escape it! What makes it worse is that I am due to be a mother in about 2 months, for the first time. My husband was originally planning on making a gourmet dinner for me as a "You're about to be a Mother" Mother's Day surprise, but now I just want to hide my head in the sand for the entire weekend.
Anybody else change the channel really quickly when a Mother's Day ad comes on? How are you all coping with this constant rubbing of salt in our wounds?
I know we're all hurting because of all the reminders around us of Mother's Day approaching. I am so screwed up right now because it was last year on Mother's Day that we pulled life support, and Mother died the next morning. It will be the first anniversary. Am I subconsciously trying to stop time or what? All I know is that I'm not functional well at all, and feel very intensely sad.
My condolences to everyone
God bless
Yikes...had ANOTHER dream last night w/Mom and my 2 aunts in it...both of whom passed away 15 and 24 years ago, respectively. Guess I'm dwelling on this lately, and I like to think that Mom has been reunited with her sisters. I went to the cemetary today for the first time since Mom passed; it was very hard. I miss her terribly. Planted flowers on her grave, as well as my aunts' and grandparents. Mothers Day will be 3 months exactly since she has passed. Miss you Mom.
The Race for the Cure is coming up this month, and myself, my partner and a couple of other people are walking with me in honor of my Mom. It has been 5 months and 5 days since she passed. Some days it feels longer than that, and others..well, it feels like someone has ripped open my heart and the pain is immense.
Kathy LaRue, I understand about having to develop a relationship with your dad. Dad and I were never really close, until these past 2 years, a lot went on with Mom's health, and he and I handled it together, I have a younger brother who lives about an hour and a half from here with his family, so..well..enough said about that.
When Mom passed, I realized that he had never lived alone, and that now, I was going to be the one to learn how to be friends with him. So far so good, we have a few issues we deal with, and it is slow going. It is going well though, we meet every Friday for lunch and then I hang with him for the afternoon. I talk with him every morning. So, it is happening....just wish moving through the pain of loss was as smooth going.
Also, I hope this comment helps. I am pathetically self-centered when it comes to the issue of death. The two great losses in my life have been my grandfather when I was 12 and my mother when I was 26. All I know is what I have experienced so I'm sorry for the limited perspective. I can only offer what I have experienced and what I have learned. It comforts me to write about it. I do hope that it comforts some of you to read about it. But if it doesn't, you are more than welcome to write back to me. I would love to hear about your lives and what you are dealing with. I know that I'm doing a lot of talking but I would also love to listen.
Your friend in grief, and a loved one lost too soon,
Kathy
Dreams definitely are weird but if you think about how they made you feel you can generally figure them out. Dream websites or books don't help much because your mind creates its own symbols. Think about how something or someone that made you feel in the dream.
Here's my own personal example. I had a dream that my dad was keeping my mom's corpse in his house. Then my mom's ghost came to me and told me that this is not what she wanted and to dispose of the corpse in some way. So I lit a fire to burn her remains. Unfortunately my dad found out and couldn't accept it so he ended up burning with her even though I tried to get him out of there. At the time the dream was very disturbing but its meaning was unclear to me. Now it's obvious. I want to forget about my mom as she was in death and because my dad is tied to that part of me part of me wants to forget him as well. I was always closer to my mom and I think my mind isn't sure how I can have a relationship with just my dad. I'm not saying this is right or a good thing, but I do believe you can learn a lot about your waking life from dreams. So basically, for me, forging an independent relationship with my dad is something that I need to work on for both our sakes.
dreams can be weird. I had another dream last night where I was in a car w/my Mom and Aunt. Mom was driving and said she was tired, so I told her I'd take over....this is the same kind of "car dream" I had before. Perhaps it reflects that my Mom was moving on and wanted me to take care of my Aunt.....something for me to ponder on!
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