Anne
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  • Jordan, NY
  • United States
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About Me:
I am 48 yr old who lives with her partner and 7 indoor cats, and 6 feral cats that we feed and house. I am very quiet, and it takes a bit for me to warm up.
About my Loss:
My mother died with me brushing her hair back on the 29th of November. She had celebrated her 72nd birthday on the 18th of November. She had just been diagnosed with her 3rd bout of breast cancer and her 2nd bout of angiosarcoma (rare cancer brought to life by her radiation treatments the 1st time.)

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Talked to my Dad today and found out that my Mom used to call all the grandkids and sing Happy Birthday to them, not just for Bill and I.  UGH....I called Bill's work number on the 7th and sang to him...didn't hear from him until yesterday...he said he really appreciated and that I sound just like Mom when I sang it. Now I have said I would keep up the tradition with the kids and with Bill. Small issue though.....who is gonna sing it to me?

Posted on December 19, 2012 at 1:56pm

Wish the holidays would go away

Carols, funny Christmas songs...all of it, everyone of them brings flashes from the past, as well as knowing those Christmas's that will never be.   I am tired all of the time, the "why bothers" run things, the "who cares". The depression I already deal with is in a space that I have never really experienced before.  Can't sleep, and I have flashes of her last moments with me, my screaming on the inside for her to keep…

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Posted on December 16, 2012 at 1:00pm

She is gone and I am lost

  My mother had spent the last 12 years of her life battling Breast cancer, and the last 2 years battling angiosarcoma as well as the after effects of a sub-arachnoid aneurysm.  She went through I can't tell you how many rounds of chemo as well as radiation.  She was a fighter, someone who told me that "cancer was her adventure" she never complained, she just went with whatever was going on.  She was strong enough to admit…

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Posted on December 15, 2012 at 5:31am

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At 4:25pm on November 23, 2013, anne said…

I would be happy to be your friend!

At 7:18am on December 27, 2012, TIM said…

Hi Anne, hope you had a good day yesterday mine was ok had a few melt downs. This is painful stuff isn't it not really sure how to go about fixing it either when I know the only thing that is going to make me better I am not going to get. My heart is bleeding and i am trying to stuff all these things in there to stop the bleeding but they keep falling out thats kind of how I feel. Really the only thing that keeps me going is knowing other people have done it and they have it way worse than me. I feel kind of bad yesterday I tried to talk on here couldn't do it left in the middle of a conversation but I was having a melt down couldn't even see the screen too many tears. Hope you have a good day praying for you -Tim

At 10:53am on December 25, 2012, Mary said…

Hi Anne.  I know today is a hard day for you, as it is for me as well.  Christmas is not the same without our moms.Your mother sounds so much liked like my mother so I know what you are going through.  I just today read your profile.  My mom used to call and sing to each of us on our birthdays too.  I'd call you and sing happy birthday to you :) We seem to have been going through much of the same stuff, the "why bothers" and "Who cares" and the depression and flashbacks.  I hear a Christmas song and start crying.  The flashbacks to her last day and the weeks before she was even diagnosed to the day I was finally able to go see her-I had been sick for a few weeks and was not allowed to go visit her as she had just finished radiation treatments and her immunity was low.  After being sick 2 weeks I showed up to surprise her and when she saw me she acted like she had not seen me for years and kept saying "I love you so so much!'  I flash back to that and wonder if she knew that something was wrong and she had the brain tumor that took her life just weeks later. So many coulda, woulda, shouldas go through my mind.

At 2:04pm on December 23, 2012, TIM said…

Thanks Anne, very sorry about your mom new to this chat rooms and things one of the nurses that helped me take care of my wife helped me get on this site but i really don't know how to chat or what to click on was trying to put the picture of my wife's favorite flower on my page but i must have done something wrong. so if i don't answer someone i'm not stuck up just don't know what i'm doing

At 3:08pm on December 16, 2012, dream moon JO B said…

sory abot yore loss yore mum sounded like my dad he woz the same a figter he had a lot of resperty promlems and heart failer still dont no whot he died of the postmortem 3 difrent reports say difrent thngs he had a stroke geting beter from tht but the resperty promlmes he had like of c o p d got a hold of him not loked fored to xmas this yr bean the 1st 1 with out him sory for yore loss

 
 
 

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