"evry now agan i still loss my way i do"
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Anne
- Female
- Jordan, NY
- United States
- Blog Posts (3)
- Discussions (6)
- Groups (4)
- Photos (2)
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Anne's Groups
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dreams
29 members
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Everlasting Memories ECa…
13 members
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I miss my Mom!
731 members
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Lost Without My Mom
249 members
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Anne's Page
Profile Information
- About Me:
- I am 48 yr old who lives with her partner and 7 indoor cats, and 6 feral cats that we feed and house. I am very quiet, and it takes a bit for me to warm up.
- About my Loss:
- My mother died with me brushing her hair back on the 29th of November. She had celebrated her 72nd birthday on the 18th of November. She had just been diagnosed with her 3rd bout of breast cancer and her 2nd bout of angiosarcoma (rare cancer brought to life by her radiation treatments the 1st time.)
Anne's Photos
Anne's Blog
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Talked to my Dad today and found out that my Mom used to call all the grandkids and sing Happy Birthday to them, not just for Bill and I. UGH....I called Bill's work number on the 7th and sang to him...didn't hear from him until yesterday...he said he really appreciated and that I sound just like Mom when I sang it. Now I have said I would keep up the tradition with the kids and with Bill. Small issue though.....who is gonna sing it to me?
Posted on December 19, 2012 at 1:56pm
Wish the holidays would go away
Carols, funny Christmas songs...all of it, everyone of them brings flashes from the past, as well as knowing those Christmas's that will never be. I am tired all of the time, the "why bothers" run things, the "who cares". The depression I already deal with is in a space that I have never really experienced before. Can't sleep, and I have flashes of her last moments with me, my screaming on the inside for her to keep…
ContinuePosted on December 16, 2012 at 1:00pm
She is gone and I am lost
My mother had spent the last 12 years of her life battling Breast cancer, and the last 2 years battling angiosarcoma as well as the after effects of a sub-arachnoid aneurysm. She went through I can't tell you how many rounds of chemo as well as radiation. She was a fighter, someone who told me that "cancer was her adventure" she never complained, she just went with whatever was going on. She was strong enough to admit…
ContinuePosted on December 15, 2012 at 5:31am
Groups
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Lost My Spouse...
365 members
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I miss my Mom!
731 members
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Being the Other Woman/Ot…
24 members
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Losing Someone to Cancer
609 members
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"Till death do us part",…
5 members
Latest Activity
"Today we Remember 9/11. I can't even imagine the terror and heartbreak the families must still have. Losing my Husband Julian under normal circumstances was bad enough.
God Bless all the people that still suffer from this horrible…"
"Dear Morgan,
Thanks so very much for your supportive letter. Sorry i didn't see it before. I replied to it just now, Sending you love and good wishes."
"Thank you friends for sharing your thoughts. I don't know what I do, if I didn't have this place to come to. We are all suffering and the real world just doesn't understand what we are going through. I miss the tender touch of my…"
Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse..."I have nothing that I want to or have to, to keep me busy except doing what I'm doing which has to have something to do with Her. Like yesterday, I found a small 3/4 X 2 1/2 inch bottle with a cork when I went to the dollar store…"
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse..."Trina, Check your inbox for a message from me.
Joe, So true. That's exactly why I post here too. I keep thinking if I get it off my chest and out into cyberspace at least I know I wont be suffering alone. That consoles…"
"Hello All,
I am sorry that I have not posted here for a while now to show my support for you. On August 4th it was the fifth anniversary of Joseph's passing. I just don't have the strength or energy anymore to keep pushing to survive each…"
Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse..."I'm in the 19th month and don't know what to say, except that the only time I'm not living this horrible nightmare is when I sleep and don't dream at all. Even when I post in a way to try to console anyone here, in a way,…"
"Morgan,
Once again I want to Thank You for sharing you thoughts with us.
You put into words the things I don't know how to express."
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!"Avi, I don't mean to be a downer, but I am not sure there is an end to our grief. I know mine is still going strong. I wish the good things in my life were as consistent as this is. We have to keep moving though. Keep taking baby steps. Assay…"
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse..."John T,
I saw your post late late last night. I see you are still doing your best to cope. I remember a time that I wasn't even coping. I was barely standing. After six years seven months I have become anesthetized.…"
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!"Hi All, Today I suddenly had grief all over the day. I miss my mother a lot and it seems that there is no end to this grief. Hope I meet her someday when I leave this world.
Just wanted to share my feelings here because people around me…"
"John,
We are blessed to have this wonderful group to come to and share our grief."
"Thinking of you John T. I understand. "
John T. replied to Elynn m's discussion Lonely again"5 years since my wife died suddenly of heart failure right in front of me. The time since that day has been just awful and when I reached this anniversary, I just couldn't believe it. All I think about is all the years ahead without…"
John T. commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse..."Yesterday was the 5th anniversary of the death of my wife. I spent the day unable to believe it has been 5 years but somewhat surprised at how well I handled the day. Today I have kept having outbursts of crying and overwhelming memories…"
Emmyk replied to Amy R's discussion So many questions in the group Being the Other Woman/Other Man"That is horrific for you. Im so sorry. Just know yoy aren't alone. Know we dont think you are some kind of monster and know that we validate what you guys had and the love that existed there. Try not to fixate on the particulars that you have…"
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Hi Anne, hope you had a good day yesterday mine was ok had a few melt downs. This is painful stuff isn't it not really sure how to go about fixing it either when I know the only thing that is going to make me better I am not going to get. My heart is bleeding and i am trying to stuff all these things in there to stop the bleeding but they keep falling out thats kind of how I feel. Really the only thing that keeps me going is knowing other people have done it and they have it way worse than me. I feel kind of bad yesterday I tried to talk on here couldn't do it left in the middle of a conversation but I was having a melt down couldn't even see the screen too many tears. Hope you have a good day praying for you -Tim
Hi Anne. I know today is a hard day for you, as it is for me as well. Christmas is not the same without our moms.Your mother sounds so much liked like my mother so I know what you are going through. I just today read your profile. My mom used to call and sing to each of us on our birthdays too. I'd call you and sing happy birthday to you :) We seem to have been going through much of the same stuff, the "why bothers" and "Who cares" and the depression and flashbacks. I hear a Christmas song and start crying. The flashbacks to her last day and the weeks before she was even diagnosed to the day I was finally able to go see her-I had been sick for a few weeks and was not allowed to go visit her as she had just finished radiation treatments and her immunity was low. After being sick 2 weeks I showed up to surprise her and when she saw me she acted like she had not seen me for years and kept saying "I love you so so much!' I flash back to that and wonder if she knew that something was wrong and she had the brain tumor that took her life just weeks later. So many coulda, woulda, shouldas go through my mind.
Thanks Anne, very sorry about your mom new to this chat rooms and things one of the nurses that helped me take care of my wife helped me get on this site but i really don't know how to chat or what to click on was trying to put the picture of my wife's favorite flower on my page but i must have done something wrong. so if i don't answer someone i'm not stuck up just don't know what i'm doing
sory abot yore loss yore mum sounded like my dad he woz the same a figter he had a lot of resperty promlems and heart failer still dont no whot he died of the postmortem 3 difrent reports say difrent thngs he had a stroke geting beter from tht but the resperty promlmes he had like of c o p d got a hold of him not loked fored to xmas this yr bean the 1st 1 with out him sory for yore loss