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Comment by Debbie S on July 4, 2012 at 5:16pm

I think you got it right when you made the statement about them greiving. In my case his kids started asking for things the day he found out he had cancer!! When he told them no they left not to be heard from but a few times untill he past away. Now they are crying how they are the forgotten kids! They are grown in thier 30's. Crying they didn't get to view his body after he past. I want so bad to tell them they never cared enough to come visit while he was alive, but
I'm biting my tounge.

Comment by Mary M. on July 4, 2012 at 2:23pm

Joni I am so sorry to hear that your family is acting like this, but like everybody says many times grief brings out the worst in people.  I am being lenient saying grief, I sometimes wonder if these same people ever grieve the loss or just concentrate solely on what they are going to get out of the situation.  So sad.  Heartfelt prayers and love being sent to you.  Try to remember you are not alone no matter what.  {{Hug}}

Comment by Lorraine on July 4, 2012 at 1:35pm

I lost my 29 year old son to cancer. Life is so unpredictable, and a disease like cancer brings out the worst and best of people.  It is so sad for me to read of families being torn apart after a loved one dies; so often it is family that is the most important thing to our loved ones as they face their own mortality.  It's important to protect ourselves, yet I hope that no one closes the door permanently on their children without leaving a window open.  My children have all handled their brother's death differently; we were and are not a perfect family by a long stretch.  When Sy was sick, we were able to come together and give him the love and support during those 8 months.  It is complicated in some ways since then, as everyone grieves differently.  None of this is easy.  love to all, Lorraine

Comment by Debbie S on July 4, 2012 at 12:17pm

This is so sad! Its hard enough to try to handle our loss and to greive without having to deal with all the drama!! Joni I know about the facebook stuff too. I just don't get it. Its sad that death brings out the greed and true colors of some. Jeanne & Joni so sorry you are dealing with this too. Hugs to you all

Comment by joni on July 4, 2012 at 10:49am

@ Jeanne potter , oh my gosh soooooo relate. My husband practically killed himself giving to his adult children. He was 71 and felt he could not retire for having to support them. Hes spent probably over a million dollars trying to set them all up in their own businesses. In which they were to pay him back so he could retire. Of course he never saw a cent. And they actually demanded more! Of course when he passed they wanted everything. And I did turn over the business me and my husband ran. Thinking that would appease them..... Not! And one of them has actually pulled his medical records trying to prove this was all my fault??? That I didn't take good enough care of him....so sad. And now she's actually posting lies on Facebook...in attempt to turn entire family against me:( just feel brokenhearted about the whole thing, and know I will have to cut all ties to them. Have been praying and that God will help me through and the truth will be revealed. ...love and hugs to all Joni

Comment by Debbie S on July 3, 2012 at 10:03pm

Thank you Mary. Thank goodness I have alot of good friends and also family members minus a few. Desiree, sorry I lost connection while we were in the middle of chat. Will look for you later.

 

Comment by Jeanne Potter on July 3, 2012 at 10:02pm

OMG Debbie, you are so right about the family thing. I thought I only lost my husband, but now a year and a half later it is both my stepsons and my own son and my grandchildren. I could care less about the steps as they made off with a $50,000 life insurance policy that they knew was for me. I disowned the bastards after raising them. My own son acted like he was taking over my life and trying to run it. In the first year after Harry died I have given him and his wife and kids $25,000. Money I could have used and need. My bad. Now that I sold my house and moved even closer to the grandkids, my son will not speak to me because my brother and sister are living with me. My choice. They pay rent we get along and everything is fine with us. The problem is that when my brother moved in, my son felt like he was losing his grip and hold on me. He suddenly hates his uncle and will not let my grandkids come to my house. They have cut off all contact with me and will not let me take the kids anywhere. In the last 10 years I have helped him with over $100,000 trying to get him on his feet. My bad again. I paid all that money off and left myself in a less favorable situation then I should be at this point. So last week for the second time I redid my will and gave my brother and sister lifetimes rights to my house and contents if anything should happen to me. My son will inherit but won't be able to touch it until they pass as well. You reep what you sow. I know that if I did not do it, he would kick them out on the street if I died and smile while he did it. So Desiree your mom was very right about funerals and weddings. It is sad that I lost all of them because of greed. On a lighter note I am not being nickeled and dimed by my son anymore. He is standing on his own feet and having to make it on his own finally. Yes I know, my bad again. Live and learn.

Comment by Desiree M on July 3, 2012 at 9:21pm

Debbie I can totally agree with what you are going through, finally someone that makes me feel like I am not totally crazy. My Mom told me that Funerals and Weddings can bring out the best and worst in people and boy wasn't she right. I lost my husband June 18 of this year and my hurt has turned to anger over how his children have acted since his death. 

Comment by Mary M. on July 3, 2012 at 9:08pm

Debbie, thoughts and prayers being sent your way.  Its been almost 4 months since my husband passed and I am still hurting too.  Just thankful that I have friends and a few family that continue to be supportive.

Comment by Debbie S on July 3, 2012 at 8:53pm

So sad, confussed, lonely, lost I think this list goes on and on!! Oh yeah and most of all HURT!! You would think in a time of a terrible lose it would bring a family closer together. Instead its brought out the greed in the ones that were never around.. . . . . untill now. Its not I'm sorry I know you are hurting its I want, I get, he said. . . . . It will be four months Sat and this is still all I'm hearing!! Their dad knew this is how they would be acting. It hurts to know they are doing this. All I can say is thank goodness for the will!! I love you babe and miss you more and more everyday!! 

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