I meant to say UNDERSTANDING his reasoning, not questioning it. Sorry for the typo you will see below. As for the book, its a hard read the first 40 pages kinda drag by but then it takes off. It is about a tragedy (not cancer or diesease) but a tragedy that would be hard to deal with and you see the entire time how God was carrying your loved one and you even though you might not have thought so. God shows up in all kinds of ways and it was really neat to read how things transpired in this book. I suggested it to my friend who is grieving the loss of her daughter and it really helped her too. I hope you get to read it.
Someone gave me a good piece of advice when I said the same very thing about not understanding God or the way he did things. For the life of me, I see no good reason to take my mom from me when I am only 32 and have 2 small kids and she is the only parent in my life I have ever truly been able to count on. The advice they gave me that brought me some comfort was that we are only seeing things through a very small perspective. If we could zoom back out and see the entire quilt that God is putting together to make a better ending for us all, we would see the reason behind everything. I love God and I do trust him, but I have a hard time questioning his reasoning sometime. It is alo true that God didn't put diesease here on this Earth, but he is the one that carries us through diesease and loss.
I am not sure if you like to read, but I read "The Shack" by William Young and it really helped me. I am by no means better, but I have a new perspective on things. I wince in pain every time I think of my mom and not a moment goes by that she isn't in my thoughts. These are definitely tough times. People say time heals, I am not so sure about that, I think time just gets us closer to being with them again. I know my mom would hate to see me so miserable though and the same for your husband. Somehow, someway we have to get through this and make them proud.
Thanks for contacting me and I am sorry for your loss too. I am glad you have your mom b/c for me my mom was always my best comforter. When the world is falling down around you, there is nothing like a hug from your mom! I am so so so sorry about your husband. How old was he? My mom was only 55 and she never smoked but got stage 4 lung cancer out of the blue. I miss her so much. She wasn't just my mom, but my best friend, so its a double whammy. I am pregnant with baby number 3 and this time she won't be here to hold my hand.
No comments yet!
Welcome to Online Grief Support - A Social Community
"Something I have noticed is that the content of a dream may not be a big deal, but what you are feeling in the dream is where the power comes from. The dream I had was horrible. It was so short, but I had a sick feeling in my stomach throughout.…"
"I dream about my Mom & Dad & thankfully they are always good dreams that are comforting. An Aunt that I was close to is in a lot of the dreams with my parents. I have one sibling. He is never in the dreams of my parents. I…"
"I rarely dream about my mom. When I do dream about her it is almost always bad. I had a horrible dream last night. It was very short. I was standing near the front door of my mom's house. I looked down to greet my dog. There was a little puppy…"
"Yes we have no choice but to live without our mothers. Grief and guilt will be there through out and some days will be really hard than others. Yesterday was pathetic for me as my father said something that really hit me. I hope to see my mother…"
"I relate to you all who have posted lately. 2 years for me. 2nd year was worse than the first as reality set in and shock lessened. I am still in a trauma state of mind. Forgetful, irritable, less patient. I isolate…"
"6 days ago my husband and soulmate was brutly murdered and everyday gets a little harder I haven't seen him yet he's held up at the corners and I'm terrified to see him but I need to see him to convince my mind that this is real and…"
"Robin, thank you. Bluebird was the honesty that i discovered on this site that made it possible for me to express what I go through. Several others who write let me know too. I tend to reach out here, particularly when I am…"
"Hi Morgan - I lost my husband John, 9 years ago, when he was 46. I come to this website every now & then, but have only commented a few times. I relate most to you and Bluebird. I can't believe it's been 9 years, and…"
"I really don't know what to say to all the newer people who come here looking for help and comfort because I have struggled for years. I did find an article written by a psychotherapist just the other day that made some sense to me about the…"