I meant to say UNDERSTANDING his reasoning, not questioning it. Sorry for the typo you will see below. As for the book, its a hard read the first 40 pages kinda drag by but then it takes off. It is about a tragedy (not cancer or diesease) but a tragedy that would be hard to deal with and you see the entire time how God was carrying your loved one and you even though you might not have thought so. God shows up in all kinds of ways and it was really neat to read how things transpired in this book. I suggested it to my friend who is grieving the loss of her daughter and it really helped her too. I hope you get to read it.
Someone gave me a good piece of advice when I said the same very thing about not understanding God or the way he did things. For the life of me, I see no good reason to take my mom from me when I am only 32 and have 2 small kids and she is the only parent in my life I have ever truly been able to count on. The advice they gave me that brought me some comfort was that we are only seeing things through a very small perspective. If we could zoom back out and see the entire quilt that God is putting together to make a better ending for us all, we would see the reason behind everything. I love God and I do trust him, but I have a hard time questioning his reasoning sometime. It is alo true that God didn't put diesease here on this Earth, but he is the one that carries us through diesease and loss.
I am not sure if you like to read, but I read "The Shack" by William Young and it really helped me. I am by no means better, but I have a new perspective on things. I wince in pain every time I think of my mom and not a moment goes by that she isn't in my thoughts. These are definitely tough times. People say time heals, I am not so sure about that, I think time just gets us closer to being with them again. I know my mom would hate to see me so miserable though and the same for your husband. Somehow, someway we have to get through this and make them proud.
Thanks for contacting me and I am sorry for your loss too. I am glad you have your mom b/c for me my mom was always my best comforter. When the world is falling down around you, there is nothing like a hug from your mom! I am so so so sorry about your husband. How old was he? My mom was only 55 and she never smoked but got stage 4 lung cancer out of the blue. I miss her so much. She wasn't just my mom, but my best friend, so its a double whammy. I am pregnant with baby number 3 and this time she won't be here to hold my hand.
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"Strike those vacations below, they'll never be another one. Went on a memorial cruise with my daughter and family four months after she passed because she was so looking forward to it. It hurt enough to know they'll be no more."
"Yes Elynn, the loneliness. That's painful. They're not here and always was. Our best friend, lover, and most precious thing we had. We were lucky enough to spend the last 8 1/2 years together, joined at the…"
"Every day for me is the same day she passed. Not a joyful or even an ok moment. I spend a little time with the children and grands and do my best to hide my emotions, but they all know how I am inside, even the youngest grand at age 4…"
"Avi, I don't know if we can rethink our emotions that way. Our emotions are what they are, although reason can help us form our emotions and hopefully change them for the better. I don't know if my mom can hear me or not. I certainly…"
"How are you all doing?
I had bad last 2 days. Felt lot of guilt and cried. There were some moments which made me remember my mother.
Also I hear comforting words by a lady that people who have gone from this world can still feel your…"
"I wonder how i am managing. Not well and to be onest today I wanted to just set a date with death. I am approaching seven years of being without him and though I function towards the outside world better and my crying has lessened but at the…"
If you have lost a loved one to alcohol, substance abuse or suicide please share your story or feelings here. Share the love and beauty of the one you lost. Losing someone any of these ways is not natural and can be hard to understand and ask why? I lost my Mother to an overdose 9 years ago. She also suffered from major depression. Her doctor got her hooked on pain medication and she was addicted most of my life. These doctors who were suppose to help her ended up killing her in the end. I also…See More
"I am very sorry to hear about your Mom passing. I lost my Mother to an overdose 9 years ago and just my identical twin sister last month to an overdose. My mother and I were not as close as I would have liked. The disease kept her depressed and…"