Raven
  • Female
  • Indianapolis, IN
  • United States
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About Me:
I was a cancer caregiver for my husband from 2008-2011. I began taking anti-depressants, xanax, sleeping pills, and drinking as a way to cope. Now that he is gone, I have quit drinking but am still on all the medications. I want to stop the medications and get well.
About my Loss:
My husband died on April 20, 2012. He was in remission one year, and I left him during the remission on Sept. 2011 to live with my mother when his anger and abuse became more than I could stand. The cancer returned Nov. 2011, and he was given 2 more years to live. I didn't believe that he was going to die, but he died 6 months later. He was angry that I had left him and divorced me even though I begged him not to. On the day that the doctors were to remove the breathing tube, I finally signed the divorce papers even though I didn't want to. However, his family and attorney would not remove the breathing tube until I signed the papers. After I signed the papers, they removed the breathing tube, and he died 15 mins. later. I was standing by his side, holding his arm as he died. Now I am filled with grief and regret that I had moved out and didn't support him in his final months. I hope I can forgive myself. I've searched and searched for support groups and have read many books, but they have not helped. I hope that this group will help.
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Latest Activity

Profile IconEmmyk and Jen joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
16 minutes ago
Profile IconM Ferruzza and Analucia joined Jon-Paul Ackerman's group
yesterday
Profile IconAnalucia and Toya D Robinson joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
yesterday
Linda Engberg commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"Hi Dream Moon, I hate the big C also."
Friday
Georgette Benson added a discussion to the group "Till death do us part", a letter to my husband
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Widow as a newlywed

When i got married March 25th 2019 was one of the Best days of my life i was marrying the man of my Dreams,My best friend,My soul mate. Even though it was one of the happiest day of my life but it was also a sad day.Because i was marrying the man of my Dreams knowing that i only had a little time left with him. He was diagnosed in December of 2018 of stage 4 lung and kidney cancer that day was one of the worst days of our lives. I thought but when the time came and he took his last breath that…See More
Friday
Georgette Benson replied to heathert's discussion a letter to my king in the group "Till death do us part", a letter to my husband
"My condolences i know your pain all so well. I just lost my husband 7/9/2019 to cancer an im exactly where you are with my grief."
Friday
Georgette Benson joined Debbie's group
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"Till death do us part", a letter to my husband

How do I begin to thank you for the life you have given me. A life that included 4 loving children, 4 beautiful grandchildren and memories that will last forever.We had more then the romantic love we had when we first met almost 40 years ago. That fades with time. Through the ups and downs, fights and reconciliations, laughter and tears we had something more. We had true love, commitment, trust, and most importantly we had friendship. Since 1975 we have been together to celebrate every…See More
Friday
Georgette Benson is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Friday
dream moon JO B replied to dream moon JO B's discussion mad at god
"i no i get wk mometns ido but trynin 2 stayy strongg is not is a eayss thng 3 fo o iyd oy "
Thursday
dream moon JO B replied to Amy's discussion How do I get unstuck?
"so sorry on yore loss u can olnly do it wen u reddyy i no i had a loto of set bacs i di d but we all difnro peplee we is i no in 2018 i fondmy slf goin 2 spirtlastt churchh for ansesrd in steds of try  to seak medims lk a fe wpeplee do on…"
Thursday
dream moon JO B commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"i hateeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee bigc i hateeeeeeeeeeeeee lozzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz coz of big c im 44 sean somushh siffin sorry if im rantin justt i need 2 let go coz of big c lpluss othr illness 2 i do "
Thursday
dream moon JO B commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"i do not luv bigc now iv fw mro frinds its got termil big c sum few yrs oldr thnme just undr 50  few peppel weari livs gotbig c' wish i cud shoot big c lk dem/ALZ in to md of nowear sp no 1 cud get it'"
Thursday
Lisa posted a status
"I lost my brother in-law who really was my brother for 39 years 9 weeks ago tragically and suddenly on his holidays while kite surfing"
Wednesday
Nancy commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Bless you Morgan.  You say it all."
Wednesday
Lisa is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Tuesday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Morgan Thanks for sharing how you cope without your Husband.  You put into words what I cannot express. "
Tuesday
Dolly commented on Kar's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Do we ever stop having those days that seem just like the day it all happened? when nothing else seems real and all we feel is the pain again? does it ever just not happen any more? "
Tuesday
Martha Dee is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Monday
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Part 2Linda, yes and yes, I "laugh on the outside and cry on the inside".  And the laugh (or just plain conversation) is just part of how I cope for when I have to be around others.  But it means nothing.  It’s like we…"
Monday
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Part 1 Bless you and thanks to each one of you who keep writing about how you feel and how you cope.  I always feel support knowing I am not alone.  What I don't get (and not that any one of us can give it) is the answer to how I can…"
Monday

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