I was a cancer caregiver for my husband from 2008-2011. I began taking anti-depressants, xanax, sleeping pills, and drinking as a way to cope. Now that he is gone, I have quit drinking but am still on all the medications. I want to stop the medications and get well.
About my Loss:
My husband died on April 20, 2012. He was in remission one year, and I left him during the remission on Sept. 2011 to live with my mother when his anger and abuse became more than I could stand. The cancer returned Nov. 2011, and he was given 2 more years to live. I didn't believe that he was going to die, but he died 6 months later. He was angry that I had left him and divorced me even though I begged him not to. On the day that the doctors were to remove the breathing tube, I finally signed the divorce papers even though I didn't want to. However, his family and attorney would not remove the breathing tube until I signed the papers. After I signed the papers, they removed the breathing tube, and he died 15 mins. later. I was standing by his side, holding his arm as he died. Now I am filled with grief and regret that I had moved out and didn't support him in his final months. I hope I can forgive myself. I've searched and searched for support groups and have read many books, but they have not helped. I hope that this group will help.
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"I am so sorry Mary Kay. Our hearts were broken when we lost our dad. My sister-in-law had told us to prepare that tears and grief would come in waves...out of nowhere. One of my cousins had lost her dad before us and she spoke some wise words to us:…"
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I am a newbie. I lost my father on May 22nd at 2.22am. He was 92 years old. Loosing him is the hardest thing I have ever gone through. I really miss him. We were able to have a funeral for him but there were so many…"