Hi Betsy, sorry it took me this long to respond. I am not sure where Gidfrey is, I guess I should Google it and find out. How have you been doing? It has been a little rough for me, and on top of it I fell and broke my wrist. I guess things can only get better after that. Maybe one day, since we live in the same general area we could meet. I would like that. Please keep me posted on how things are for you, I really do care.
Thank you for caring about me and writing. Everyone I have gotten close with on this site are filled with such amazing love and support. I took care of my mother for many, many years. A lot of the time she was healthy...some of the time she was not. I am having a real hard time just creating a life that is great for just me. I work all of the time but have life outside of work. I attend a lot of work events. I got divorced 3 years ago after 20 years with a very controlling jerk. He left me for a younger version of myself. I lost everything. My home, our business. Went back to school for veterinary science and got my degree as a veterinary technician. I am the Director of the Spay/Neuter Program for Animal Rescue Coalition of Sarasota FL. I do love my work. I have not dated at all. I mean period since my divorce. My self esteem in the body image department is not real good. I don't feel I can ever trust anyone again. Loosing my marriage and now my mother has lead me down the path that I just don't want to risk going through the pain of loosing someone again. I have 3 sisters who are just really not nice people. So I just don't even go there. It is basically just me now. Love Sue
So very sorry for your loss..I lost my mother to cancer almost 8 months ago..its been a long tough journey for me. I also joined this site last month I really wish I had sooner..It's so great to find people that understand what I'm going through or what I've been through.
I understand completely how you feel. I lost my mother June 26th, 2011 to cancer. We were VERY close. She raised me on her own. Moving forward is some days impossible because it means leaving them behind. Trying to live without them - emotionally heart wrenching. Put yourself into your work like I do. I work for a non profit animal rescue. My mother was always proud of me for being so compassionate. How did your husband die?
I will share a story with you. Sunday morning on my local news there was an elderly man and woman sitting on a tattered couch holding hands in their living room in front of the TV cameras. Their son was just brutally murdered at an ATM in my town. The murder caught. As they sat on their couch in their modest home...the man spoke but his elderly wife did not. What he said moved me. He said "We feel relief that the man who murdered our son has been arrested. But it will not bring our son back to us. Our son is gone and that is just the way it has to be". Here is a couple in their twilight with their lives forever changed by the actions of one horrible person. Their strength just took my heart by the strings. This morning over coffee I said to myself...Mom I guess you have moved on. It's not you or me that have to move on...it's your husband and my mother who have moved on. Does that make any sense? Those of us left behind will move on when God makes that decision. Until then we have to be the best people we can be in the name of those who love us. Huggs Sue
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Welcome to Online Grief Support - A Social Community
"I started to compose a blow by blow sequence of events of my loves illness and passing but it became too painful and couldn't continue. Here we share how we are feeling grieving our lost Loves. In reality, most of my underlying…"
I totally understand; I detest being around happy families, and especially happy couples. It's not that I want anything bad to happen to them, I definitely do not. It's just that they have what my beloved and I should still have,…"
"usually I find your comments really clear, Linda, so I don’t think it’s not being good with words, more that it’s hard to express these things in words. Actually I couldn’t follow what Joe said either, but it’s…"
"Hello M Adams
Joe explained in his post of how I feel. I am not good with words on explaining things but Joe you said it perfectly. I just want to thank everyone here for sharing their thoughts, as we are all in the same boat together."
"Speaking for myself, I identify with Linda. My Love left our world and I know it, and accept that she crossed over into another realm of existence and can't come back. I want her back and I live in HELL every day without her. …"
"Linda, not sure what you mean here when you say you can accept the loss of your husband but not being able to change it is your whole problem — do you mean not being able to change the fact of the loss, or not being able to change the way it…"
Like you mentioned in your post, there is no normal in my life. I just take each day as it comes and just wait for death. I can accept that Julian is gone but not being able to change it is my whole problem."
"Hi Haven't been writing recently as have had so much to organize in my life I just haven't had a moment and when I do I am so tired. So grateful to everyone else who continues to write though. I look here daily to read.…"
"They told me that Mom had a heart attack. It happened on the weekend. I had made her breakfast & she seemed fine. I am thankful she was at home & that I was with her, but it hurts so much knowing she is gone. I just…"
"I was with my mom when she passed and it was not sudden. I may have thought I was prepared. I wasn't. I tried to say and do all of the right things. Still, after her last breath, it was as though I hadn't prepared at all. I knew what to…"
"Thanks so much! It helps having others that understand. Some of my family is supportive & that helps. It helps just having someone listen that truly understands. I have one sibling, but he was never as close to my…"
"It's important to have people in your life who understand, even if they are on a message board like this, because sometimes you have to look far and wide to find someone to walk with you.
Sometimes I will call my mom's sister. She will…"
"Thank you, some days are better than others. I feel so for you. My Mom was the center of my world also. I lived with her & took care of her. I am so thankful that I could be there for her, but now I miss her so…"
"Three months is not very long. It is still very fresh for you. There will be a lot of triggers. Sometimes they will hit you out of the blue. Other times you know that one is coming, like if you have to drive by a familiar place. It's important…"