Jan - I just read your post. I surely agree with what you stated about that dreaded disease breaking you in every way having to deal with a loved one going through that. I lost my oldest daughter, 35, to pancreatic cancer December 2010. She was married only 4 years and her only son turned 3 years last April. Having raised her and her younger brother as a single parent left me feeling absolutely helpless to do anything for her. Having her little boy grow up without her is tragic. I am so sorry you are going through all the pain. You and all on this site will be in my prayers. Take care.
I am so sorry to hear about your wife. And I am really sorry to hear that you had such a roller coaster of emotions with the supposed misdiagnosis to come right back around. What a nightmare. I too am where you are. I lost my 55 year old mother to lung cancer on Jan 22. She never smoked a day in her life, but got lung cancer, go figure. She was so healthy, it just doesn't make sense. But I don't think cancer ever does, it such a vicious diesease. My mom was not just my mom, but my best friend and we shared a really close bond. Words can't describe the pain in my heart, but I know you know what I mean. Its been 4 months now and my heart hurts more than ever. I pray that I will learn to cope better one day. It is so hard and no one understands unless they have been through it. I will keep you in my prayers. My mom was from England. I saw you said you were trying to go to the UK. Anyways, just wanted to let you know I am sorry and I hope this website helps you. I've been reading a lot. It has been helping. Hugs ((()))K
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Welcome to Online Grief Support - A Social Community
"I started to compose a blow by blow sequence of events of my loves illness and passing but it became too painful and couldn't continue. Here we share how we are feeling grieving our lost Loves. In reality, most of my underlying…"
I totally understand; I detest being around happy families, and especially happy couples. It's not that I want anything bad to happen to them, I definitely do not. It's just that they have what my beloved and I should still have,…"
"usually I find your comments really clear, Linda, so I don’t think it’s not being good with words, more that it’s hard to express these things in words. Actually I couldn’t follow what Joe said either, but it’s…"
"Hello M Adams
Joe explained in his post of how I feel. I am not good with words on explaining things but Joe you said it perfectly. I just want to thank everyone here for sharing their thoughts, as we are all in the same boat together."
"Speaking for myself, I identify with Linda. My Love left our world and I know it, and accept that she crossed over into another realm of existence and can't come back. I want her back and I live in HELL every day without her. …"
"Linda, not sure what you mean here when you say you can accept the loss of your husband but not being able to change it is your whole problem — do you mean not being able to change the fact of the loss, or not being able to change the way it…"
Like you mentioned in your post, there is no normal in my life. I just take each day as it comes and just wait for death. I can accept that Julian is gone but not being able to change it is my whole problem."
"Hi Haven't been writing recently as have had so much to organize in my life I just haven't had a moment and when I do I am so tired. So grateful to everyone else who continues to write though. I look here daily to read.…"
"They told me that Mom had a heart attack. It happened on the weekend. I had made her breakfast & she seemed fine. I am thankful she was at home & that I was with her, but it hurts so much knowing she is gone. I just…"
"I was with my mom when she passed and it was not sudden. I may have thought I was prepared. I wasn't. I tried to say and do all of the right things. Still, after her last breath, it was as though I hadn't prepared at all. I knew what to…"
"Thanks so much! It helps having others that understand. Some of my family is supportive & that helps. It helps just having someone listen that truly understands. I have one sibling, but he was never as close to my…"
"It's important to have people in your life who understand, even if they are on a message board like this, because sometimes you have to look far and wide to find someone to walk with you.
Sometimes I will call my mom's sister. She will…"
"Thank you, some days are better than others. I feel so for you. My Mom was the center of my world also. I lived with her & took care of her. I am so thankful that I could be there for her, but now I miss her so…"
"Three months is not very long. It is still very fresh for you. There will be a lot of triggers. Sometimes they will hit you out of the blue. Other times you know that one is coming, like if you have to drive by a familiar place. It's important…"