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Comment by Betsy Arnold on January 15, 2015 at 1:59pm

Hi Karen, we are here. Agony is a good word to describe how I feel, too. My husband and my Mom were my life. Taking care of them and being there for them, spending lost of time with them were what I felt like was my purpose since I didn't hold a full time job outside of that. That was actually a more than full time job, more like 24/7, daytime and night time, all the time. I don't have one regret about sacrificing my own life to take care of them or spend precious time with them. But right now, with them gone, and other friends gone now, too, it is hard to see my purpose. I have a hard time motivating myself. I love to be with people and help them. And I am a musician and songwriter, although not able to make a career in those respects, unfortunately. Please know you are definitely not alone. We are all trying to navigate life without our loved ones.

Comment by Karen W. on January 15, 2015 at 11:55am

wow, where is everyone? I had such high hopes to interact with others who can understand

Comment by Karen W. on January 12, 2015 at 5:02pm

I am reading posts regarding someone named frank who is upsetting some people on here so I have a question. are there moderators or administrators to report hateful posts to? or do we just block them for ourselves? thanks

Comment by Karen W. on January 12, 2015 at 5:00pm

thank you Betsy and my condolences also.

My husband and I talk about how blessed we are that we got to know even a few weeks ahead of time that she was going to die. It was hard to believe and still is, as she looked so normal and had just worked 100's of hours.

 of course I never wanted to lose my child, but if it was to be, I am grateful it wasn't without warning.

 that is small consolation in my grief at times, but it is still a huge blessing that we were able to talk with her, tell her goodbye and lay holding her as she left this world.

In the past I used the word agony on occasion, but I never knew how it felt until now...

Comment by dream moon JO B on January 12, 2015 at 4:00pm

u shud reprt him/her trina 

i set my profle 2 privet coz of weido lk him/her only frinds can sea profle now 

Comment by Anyshia Garcia on January 12, 2015 at 3:58pm

Thanks Trina! He wrote to me too.

Comment by Trina Mamoon on January 12, 2015 at 3:56pm

Hi Friends,

I just wanted to et you know that someone called Frank Kwabena wrote to be privately telling me he has something to disclose to me. I just wanted to let others know that there may be folks on this site who prey on bereaved people and widows. 

I want all of us to be safe and not become the victims of a scam.

Comment by Betsy Arnold on January 12, 2015 at 2:51pm

Dear Karen W., I am so sorry for the loss of your daughter. I'm not on here very often, but it has come to my attention that I need to be reaching out more often. I lost my 43 year old husband to lifelong blood disease, that led to another blood disease, that led to blood cancer and a failed stem cell transplant which took his life on October 31, 2009. I was his caregiver and patient advocate and we were married 18+ years. I watched him suffer tremendously for many years. On the flipside, I lost my Mom very suddenly on July 22, 2014, to liver cancer which we had only found out she had a week before she died. She had COPD for two years prior, which she suffered some. But the liver cancer took her life so fast that even she didn't realize how fast. She had no pain to speak of, for which I am thankful. And I lost a friend very suddenly to a massive heart attack in November of 2014. I don't honestly know which is worse, watching them suffer knowing they are going to die, or having them die so suddenly you don't have a second to breathe and are left in the aftermath of the tornado that had just suddenly swept through and left you in such shock that you can't breathe. I am happy for them that they did not suffer, which is the positive I can take away considering all I watched my husband suffer for years. You have found a wonderful place of compassion and empathy of losing a loved one to cancer. You are in my prayers. Sincerely, Betsy Arnold

Comment by Karen W. on January 12, 2015 at 10:48am

thank you for the replies Trina and Louraniah, it helps to be able to reach out to others.

Trina, we had a huge blessing in that our daughter had very little pain even though riddled with cancer, and there is a reason for that I will share in another post.

As painful for us as it was, watching her die, I know we were spared the awful pain of having to watch her suffer terribly. my heart goes out to those who did.

Comment by Trina Mamoon on January 12, 2015 at 12:04am

Dear Karen W.

My deepest condolences to you on the loss of your daughter. I am so sorry for what you and your husband had to go through watching your daughter fade away. There is nothing more horrible than watching your loved one slowly succumbing to cancer and having so much pain. Now your daughter is at peace, she no longer feels pain. So take comfort in that thought.

My thoughts and prayers are for you and your husband.

-- Trina

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