Our 36 year old daughter died from inflammatory breast cancer 16 days ago, 12-19-14. None of us, (including her) knew she was even sick, from diagnosis to death was 31 days.
The dr's gave her 2 weeks or less to live at time of diagnosis, but she was able to last a couple extra weeks. while that time will always be precious, it was not enough, it will never be enough.
She went from what we thought was perfectly healthy, although overworked, to dead in just weeks, that is the shocking part of all of this.
Our daughter was 36, and although quite responsible, she was also very petite and childlike, she even looked more like a 12 year old girl than a grown woman to those who met her.
She was my best friend and my soul mate, we were more like twins emotionally than mother and daughter. We could frequently read each others minds, we shared dreams and premonitions numerous times throughout her life and some people just thought us odd. but we weren't, we were just very blessed.
there are no words for the incredible loss of my girl, I am not sure I will ever recover.
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Karen, I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful daughter. I understand what a sudden death feels like. I lost my daughter in a car accident 15 months ago. The shock lasts so long, I still have a hard time grasping she is gone from my life physically. Let your emotions out when they come,, and be kind to yourself. In the beginning you can't imagine that you will survive this grief and loss. I thought I was crazy those first six months. We are here for you anytime. I am so sorry.
I am so sorry for your loss. You must be in total shock. I lost my 17 year old son in a tragic car accident. I understand the sudden horror. We are all here for you as you make your way through this grief and I am sending prayers for your strength to get though these days.
(((((HUGS))))) I wish I could give you a "real" hug. . . Leg cramps are really terrible and I am so sorry what you all have gone thru. This must be absolutely overwhelming not to mention devastating. Over 2 years ago my husbands brother was taken by pancreatic cancer in 27 days - for all of us though, it wasn't so hard to believe because the tumor or tumors were growing so fast they could be seen growing down his hips and starting down his legs. The cancer had engulfed and filled his chest cavity and made it hard to breath.
I am glad to see that you found this wedsite because talking really is the best medicine. Here is my favorite quote:
Talking can be a helpful release. Following the death of all ten of his children, as well as some other personal tragedies, the ancient patriarch Job said: “My soul certainly feels a loathing toward my life. I will give vent to [Hebrew, “loose”] my concern about myself. I will speak in the bitterness of my soul!” (Job 1:2, 18, 19; 10:1) Job could no longer restrain his concern. He needed to let it loose; he had to “speak.” Similarly, the English dramatist Shakespeare wrote in Macbeth: “Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak whispers the o’er-fraught heart and bids it break.” So talking about your feelings to “a true companion” who will listen patiently and sympathetically can bring a measure of relief. (Proverbs 17:17) Putting experiences and feelings into words often makes it easier to understand them and to deal with them. And if the listener is another bereaved person who has effectively dealt with his or her own loss, you may be able to glean some practical suggestions on how you can cope. When her child died, one mother explained why it helped to talk to another woman who had faced a similar loss: “To know that somebody else had gone through the same thing, had come out whole from it, and that she was still surviving and finding some sort of order in her life again was very strengthening to me.”
May you find goof friends to listen - I will listen with a truly sympathetic heart anytime day or night...
I lost my wife and soul mate to breast cancer in February of 2013. After a 6 year battle. She was 50. Even though she was going for annual monograms. A spot was over looked. I could write a whole lot more on that, but I want bore you. So there are no guarantees. She was what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. We had big plans for a early retirement. Now all a mute point. I also lost my sweet mother in July of 2014. I am a only child so you can image our relationship. She meant the world to me.
Karen words don't help much. But I am so sorry for your loss. There is some comfort in knowing that there are others that have suffered a great loss. This web site is a good place to find that.
"I started to compose a blow by blow sequence of events of my loves illness and passing but it became too painful and couldn't continue. Here we share how we are feeling grieving our lost Loves. In reality, most of my underlying…"
I totally understand; I detest being around happy families, and especially happy couples. It's not that I want anything bad to happen to them, I definitely do not. It's just that they have what my beloved and I should still have,…"
"usually I find your comments really clear, Linda, so I don’t think it’s not being good with words, more that it’s hard to express these things in words. Actually I couldn’t follow what Joe said either, but it’s…"
"Hello M Adams
Joe explained in his post of how I feel. I am not good with words on explaining things but Joe you said it perfectly. I just want to thank everyone here for sharing their thoughts, as we are all in the same boat together."
"Speaking for myself, I identify with Linda. My Love left our world and I know it, and accept that she crossed over into another realm of existence and can't come back. I want her back and I live in HELL every day without her. …"
"Linda, not sure what you mean here when you say you can accept the loss of your husband but not being able to change it is your whole problem — do you mean not being able to change the fact of the loss, or not being able to change the way it…"
Like you mentioned in your post, there is no normal in my life. I just take each day as it comes and just wait for death. I can accept that Julian is gone but not being able to change it is my whole problem."
"Hi Haven't been writing recently as have had so much to organize in my life I just haven't had a moment and when I do I am so tired. So grateful to everyone else who continues to write though. I look here daily to read.…"
"They told me that Mom had a heart attack. It happened on the weekend. I had made her breakfast & she seemed fine. I am thankful she was at home & that I was with her, but it hurts so much knowing she is gone. I just…"
"I was with my mom when she passed and it was not sudden. I may have thought I was prepared. I wasn't. I tried to say and do all of the right things. Still, after her last breath, it was as though I hadn't prepared at all. I knew what to…"
"Thanks so much! It helps having others that understand. Some of my family is supportive & that helps. It helps just having someone listen that truly understands. I have one sibling, but he was never as close to my…"
"It's important to have people in your life who understand, even if they are on a message board like this, because sometimes you have to look far and wide to find someone to walk with you.
Sometimes I will call my mom's sister. She will…"
"Thank you, some days are better than others. I feel so for you. My Mom was the center of my world also. I lived with her & took care of her. I am so thankful that I could be there for her, but now I miss her so…"
"Three months is not very long. It is still very fresh for you. There will be a lot of triggers. Sometimes they will hit you out of the blue. Other times you know that one is coming, like if you have to drive by a familiar place. It's important…"