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Comment by Jeannie Porter on January 25, 2011 at 9:20pm

michael,

oddly today I was sad before I even opened my eyes. Maybe because it is our (Paiges) and my grandaughters 16th birthday and we had given Paiges car to her before she died.. Our Kayla called Grandma Paige:Grandma TYgRRR, I could feel it all day!!! heavey on the heart!

I guess Paige was trying to let me know she  remembered and please give Kayla her card.  OH how I cried!!!!!!!!!!!!!I miss her more than the air I breath!!!!!  Jeannie colo. Take care

Comment by michael sandoval on January 25, 2011 at 8:08pm

Today has been a horrible day. Lots of very emtional crying at work and at home

Comment by michael sandoval on January 23, 2011 at 1:43pm

It's been almost a year and a half since Denise left her body and don't feel much better at all. Therapy is the only thing that has helped me. Being able to completely express my feelings, my sadness, and emotions without feeling uncomfortable or judged is amazing.

Comment by Diana on January 23, 2011 at 9:24am

Guy, its only been a month. Grief is a strange thing. About the time you thin k you are doing better you have a set back. Just go with it. It will be a while before it gets better. My husband has been gone for a year and a half. Yes its better but still times I just ache I so much want to hold him or just see him. I cant believe he has been gone from me for over a year. Still seems unreal. Still want him to come back. Just let the tears flow.  I think its the best healer....

Comment by Guy Tidwell on January 23, 2011 at 7:24am

It's now been a month since my wife's passing. Each day that passes feels so hallow and meaningless. I try the best I can to keep my mind busy when I am awake, but when it is time to close my eyes, the only thing I see is her smiling face and she fills my sleep with dreams. Friends and family say it will get better over time, but so far I haven't.

Comment by Rachel Lynn Schuler on January 20, 2011 at 7:45pm

Katherine, I guess your comment was about your adopted mom passing from cancer.....well my mom died from cancer too, and its such an unfair illness....I try to say the right things on here because I dont want to upset anyone further with what they are going through, but I do know how it feels, when my mom told me from the hospital, "Rachel, you need to know I have cancer, I need you to be strong"....that one horrible word was very difficult....I'm not sure if it ever gets easier

 

Comment by michael sandoval on January 20, 2011 at 10:51am

As a loving tribute to Denise, after she passed away, I finally purchased a new guitar with the intention of putting her picture on it. Denise was cremated and her family have her ashes, so she has no resting place for me to visit. So I wanted to memorialize her on something beautiful. I finally got it done a few months ago and it really looks beautiful. I miss Denise so much that i wonder how i am going to ever make through this "healing" and "recovery." I feel my therapy and this webpage are all i have. you can see the guitar in my photos .

Comment by michael sandoval on January 18, 2011 at 10:24pm

I had a good session with my therapist. I cried a lot, and it was very emotional, but i think we are getting somewhere. I discovered my sadness and trauma is located in my throat, neck, mouth and eyes. We are exploring that I did not get to say goodbye to Denise, and seeing her in that condition caused me trauma and depression and it is located in these places for these reasons.

Comment by Judy Kemp on January 18, 2011 at 9:42pm

Michael iam sorry for your loss i know how you feel. This has been a rough week iam so tried i hurt so much. What i want the most in the world i cannt have. I keep thinking that all i have to do is take all my meds and maybe i could be with him again but i know i cannt leave my kids like that oh god i miss him so much i want my life back. i feel so empty and scared all the time i just want it to end to be able to feel something besides the pain making me lose my mind. I know he would want me to be happy but i cannt do this anymore. I dont talk to anyone or leave the house unless its to go to the drs. and all they do is keep giving me meds to take telling me it will be better i just dont know how. I miss how he would hold my hand or wrap his arms around me i cannt do this anymore i dont know what to do now.

Comment by michael sandoval on January 14, 2011 at 9:03pm

Dear Judy, sorry for your loss. I feel the same way. Sometimes Denise comes to me in a dream and that is unbearable sometimes. I get soo extra sad I feel I can't go on. I feel like I'm stuck after over a year, and that is how I found this webpage.

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