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I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....

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Never ending 4 Replies

Started by Betty Ellsworth. Last reply by Brenda Ann Jan 11.

Does it ever end? 5 Replies

Started by Betty Ellsworth. Last reply by Sun Oct 29, 2018.

I miss my Mom 4 Replies

Started by Sun. Last reply by Michael Thompson Oct 28, 2018.

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Comment by Ilana Rabone on October 17, 2011 at 11:29am

Mercy,

I have a hard time believing in the afterlife.  But I clearly recall some time ago waking up in the middle of the night and seeing my mother in front of my bed kissing my forehead.  It freaked me out!  I thought I was dreaming, but I was actually wide awake.  I keep looking for signs and don't see them, but maybe I'm missing them. 

Comment by mercy on October 17, 2011 at 11:26am

Two days after mom passed away, she came to me in a very vivid dream. It felt so real but didn’t last very long. The Monday before she passed, a very strong hand gripped me, when I reached out to touch the hand, there was just air. I know it was mom. I never believed in pennies from heaven until she died, every time I’m having a hard time, I find a penny. One time a penny actually dropped on my head in the middle of our driveway; there’s just no way to explain this, all I know is that these are all signs from mom. I miss my mom so much; I actually have pain in my chest on most days. I never thought grief could hurt physically. I know if I didn’t have a daughter; my body would just die off from this grief.

 

Comment by Ilana Rabone on October 17, 2011 at 7:14am

Sue,

I can totally relate to what you said as I had so many things that I wanted to say to my mother before she passed away last year from Ovarian Cancer.  She died five months to the day she was diagnosed and before that she was fine.  It was so sudden.  My mother and I had a love/hate relationship.  We had the same personalities and clashed all the time.  I thought I had time to patch things up before she passed, but I didn't.  I wanted to be there when she passed, but in the end, it hurt me so much to see her body shut down and leave this earth.  Sometimes I regret it, sometimes I don't.  I miss her every day!  Sometimes I see daughters fighting with their mothers and I just want to shake the girl and tell her how lucky she is to have her mom because I don't have that anymore and it's tearing me apart.  It's also had to see my dad dating again.

Comment by Sue Waxman on October 17, 2011 at 7:04am

Kevin,

I have experienced the same as you have. Exactly the same. I am more greatful to experience the vist-connection than I am sad when it ends. I do want to cry and be sad when it is over. Sometimes I feel a gigantic pang of grief. My mom and I shopped together every Sunday. Because I work all week..it was our day together. I never realized how much I would begged to have those days back. I believe anything is possible if you open your heart and mind and allow it to enter. Sometimes she swishes through me like a breeze and I say "Hi Mom". She just says..."I'm here". I believe if you are full of anger and hate for any reasons (your family, your job) those feelings control you and you can't "receive" what you and I are experiencing. When mom was in the hospital she told myself my sisters that two little babies slept with her one night. One on the left, one of the right. My sisters told her it was the medication. When they left..mom and I talked about it and we knew that the babies were two angels. My sisters are not open minded enough to think such things are possible. I am so greatful for having the mother that I HAVE.. She is still my mother.

Comment by Kevin Velez on October 15, 2011 at 9:45pm

@ Suzanne. I have had two vivid dreams with my mom and although they are so wonderful and peaceful at the time of the dream, when I wake up and realize it wasn't real, it feels as if she died all over again.  I used to go shopping with my mom every weekend since I can remember and the other day I went to a market I used to go a lot with my mom and I felt this overwhelming sense my mom was with me. the feeling was so intense I felt as if I were going to collapse on the floor.  again I felt her for the moment and then it was gone.  Every time I experience these feelings I am grateful but the pain of losing her hits me every time.  do I want to continue feeling these sensations, yes.  is it scary?  yes.  Hopefully you have these "visits" but be prepared and understand it may open feelings you will have to deal with.  I hope you experience the spirit of your mom.  She's out there, loving you.  just in a different way.  listen with your heart.

Peace.

Comment by Jun White on October 14, 2011 at 9:53pm
Sue, Suzanne -- This is the first time I experienced someone so close to me die.  We don't talk much about death here in the States, when Mom decided to go back to China where she was born to spend the rest of her days, I got to experiece the culture dealing with death for the first time.  After learning what the "bone picking ceremony" was, I went bananas!  I am so traumatized on top of everything else!
Comment by Sue Waxman on October 14, 2011 at 10:16am

Hi Jun,

I understand exactly how you feel. All of us on the site do. I have so many things I would say to my mom that I wish I had. She died with me holding her hand and caressing her cheek. As much as I am greatful to have been there for her passing to the next world, it haunts me all of the time like it does you. To watch the life drain out of your moms life is beyond explanation. I see my moms face inside of my head all the time. She is healthy and happy and we are laughing...then I remember her being so sick and suffering so damn much and I cry. Yes..it seems life does go on...but I am like you ...I want my mom. Mom died June 26th. It seems forever ago that I held her sweet hand and told her "Mom it's ok to to God" and she did. I am forever changed without her beside me. Your friend Sue

Comment by Suzanne Davis on October 14, 2011 at 10:11am
Jun - I totally understand.  It is a void that words can not possibly explain.  My mom was fun, happy, and very energetic.  She became sick then I took her home got Hospice and she only lived for 21 days.  I am deeply grateful for Hospice because my mom was very medicated and laughing plus she did not really know what was happening.  She died in my arms and as she took her last breath - I swear I died with her at that moment.  It makes me crazy when people say, "oh it will get better with time"  WRONG.  It does not get better with time.  Now with the holidays it is the worst time for me.  No Thanksgiving, no Christmas - no holiday will ever be the same without her beautiful presence. She was my life and my world. xo
Comment by Jun White on October 14, 2011 at 9:53am
Suzanne, I felt the same way.  My Mom never appeared in my dreams. I don't see her, hear her, or dream of her.   I so want to have the opportunity to talk to her and see her again.  The image of her dying is so vivid in my mind, she was conscious throughout and she didn't want to die.

 

We live in a world where everything is so easily replaced; I don't know how to deal when someone close to me is PERMANENTLY gone. 7 weeks ago, she was a living, breathing human being; today, she is nowhere to be found.

Comment by Suzanne Davis on October 14, 2011 at 8:23am

Some you mention seeing your mother, dreaming about her, and having these events with her.  I would give anything for that to happen to me.  I don't see her, hear her, or dream of her.  Why?  Why don't I get to see the love of my life.  It is truly like I am a walking zombie just going through the motions of life.  The other day, I saw a woman from the side and she looked like my mommy.  My heart stopped and I starting runnning towards her.  Then, I just began to cry uncontrollably and had to just get myself to the car.  It is just horrible.  Those moments trigger grief in a torturous way.  I need my mom back.  I don't want life without her.

 

 

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Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
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