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Comment by Mary on April 7, 2013 at 5:56pm

Hi everyone.  It has been a while since I have been on here. It was about this time last year that I found this group and it has been a great help to me.  I lost my mom March 22, 2012 to brain cancer.  I honestly never thought I could get through the loss of her and the overbearing grief that I felt.  Everyone kept saying it would get better, but I just did not see that happening.  It has gotten easier.  I miss her dearly, but as she always told me..life goes on for the living.  I have been feeling her presence more lately and my husband said he was working at her house and he saw her watching him out the back door like she always used to do.  I feel her near me and hear her singing in my ear all the time.  We used to sing I love you a bushel and a peck or You are my sunshine.  Good Friday, a very dear family friend who always took mom to mass said she heard mom singing next to her at Good Friday mass.  I just wanted to let those of you who have just recently experienced loss that it will get easier-when, I can't say-it is an individual thing.  It's ok to go on with your life, to have fun with family and friends, to go a day without crying.  No need to feel guilt over those things-she was your mom-she'd want her child to be happy.  Peace to all and God Bless each of you.

Comment by Jeff R on April 7, 2013 at 5:38pm

the weekends are the worst for me as well, since those were the days I did all my "Mom" stuff.  Now, it's an empty vacuum.  This weekend was spent cleaning out her house with more to come.  I think I feel worse now than when she passed.  I keep telling myself she's at peace and she is no longer suffering and struggling.  But, I think I'm sad for me, selfishly.  I miss her terribly.

Comment by Melisa C on April 7, 2013 at 4:35pm

Sundays are even more depressing than other days. It's so sad to think about how different life is now without Mom. It was a different world and a different me. I miss her so much, the small things we did together. How our lives were intertwined.

Now it feels like the world has lost its order, the point of going on isn't very clear.  I wonder why did things have to happen the way they did. Why couldn't we have a few more years together?

Comment by Kisha on April 6, 2013 at 5:11am

Anne, I feel the same way about moving on. My mother has been gone for eight months and I am becoming sadder the further I move away from the date she passed. Some days I feel guilty about doing normal things or having fun with my family. I understand.

Comment by Jeff R on April 5, 2013 at 2:06pm

Cancer is rough....my Aunt passed away many years ago at 70yrs old after a valiant struggle.  The entire family was emotionally spent.  Everyone gets drawn into the battle, in one way or another.  And, when it is lost, you all feel it.

My condolences to you both.

Comment by Eliza on April 4, 2013 at 5:50pm

Argene,I know how you feel. I am young, too, and lost my mom to cancer his past December. She was also 67. I try to stay strong for my dad, but it is so hard because I have to deal with and process my grief, too. My thoughts are with you.

Comment by Cindy Czarnecki on April 4, 2013 at 3:27pm

Thanks Jeff....

Sorry you are having a bad day.  Hearing your mom's name mentioned during Mass does bring emotion.  You begin to think again.  Feel better and get some rest, that's what your mom would want you to do.

Comment by Jeff R on April 4, 2013 at 1:29pm

The joys of our medical system!  it should not be this hard.  Truly, a collection agency should only be involved if the hospital discharged the bill to them to handle.  You can ignore them, they have no real authority.

Eh, I'm just having a real bad day today, not sure why.  I went to AM mass yesterday, which was for my Mom and other deceased members of the parish....guess it just made me dwell on things more than usual.  And, I'm sick w/what is either a cold or an allergy attack, so I am doubly miserable.   I really wish I didn't feel this way; just want to curl up and sleep.

Comment by Cindy Czarnecki on April 4, 2013 at 12:10pm

Thought I would finally handle a phone call from a collection agency about mom's hospital bill.  Started this morning and need a break.  The collection agency is saying one thing, the hospital is saying to ignore the collection agency because they are handling it.  Still trying to get a hold of Medicare. UnitedHealthcare/ AARP is ignoring the hospitals inquiries.  Need to just vent before I have a glass of wine and try again.  Glad I have nothing better to do on my spring break!  Mom would be so angry about this.  All over a $1,000. bill, which I would gladly pay if someone could prove to me we actually owe this money!!!

Comment by Nancy L on April 3, 2013 at 11:21am

I have lost both parents in the last 2 years.  I understand feeling like an orphan.  I have lost part of my identity with losing my parents. Saturday I colored easter eggs just like I have done for decades with my mom. I had to carry on the tradition. I cried...and cried.  Sunday, I cried again when someone said something, it triggered a raw nerve.  I cried and cried.  I was the only one crying in my family.  Do my sisters not feel what I am feeling?  I just felt so stupid then. The only ones who tried to comfort me were my 10 year old great nephew and my niece who is like my little sister (5 year age difference).  It just makes my 'hurt' so much deeper. 

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