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Comment by Kimberly Hamilton on May 25, 2013 at 4:00am

Hello All,

I am so sorry for you all. And I know how you feel. I have been going through crisis and I want so bad to talk to Mom and ask her what I should do. I feel so stupid being a 50 yr old woman wanting her Mother. But I know there is nothing I can do to bring her back. My husband does not understand since he was never close to his family. I have several things of my Mother's. Right now I am wearing a chain she gave me with a charm holder and 2 charms I gave her. One is "I (heart) you Mom.

I spent last weekend with my cousins and my sisters; my aunt died 7 months prior to my Mother's death. We all used to go away together, so now we went to honor them. I know they were there with us in spirit

I hope we all can get though this at some point. From past experience, I know you never get over it, that is a falisie. You just learn to live with it.

Comment by Amanda on May 23, 2013 at 9:14pm

Jeff, this must be a very hard time for your family. I'm very sorry for your loss, and I hope your sister is able to attend to her grief while caring for her baby. It's nice that she was able to honor her mother by using her name.

Ciara, I'm sorry for your loss, too. I feel that I can relate to what you're saying. It hasn't been two months since my mom died, and I feel that the sadness is getting deeper. The reality of her death, and the sense of permanence, hits me in the mornings rather than at night.

Comment by Ciara on May 23, 2013 at 2:37am

Today is just one of those days where I long for my mothers advise... Its been a year since I lost her and it seems like it just keeps getting harder and harder. Since she passed I havnt felt her presence really. and that terrifies me. All I want is for her to come to me in my dreams. So I can see her face and hear her voice again. I feel like Ive been trying to push away the fact that shes gone. but then every night I think about it and it hits me like a speeding train. Its the worst feeling. I know shes out of pain though and in a better place. Its just so terribly hard..

Comment by Jeff R on May 23, 2013 at 1:01am

My 2nd cousin was pregant and lost her Mom (my cousin's wife)unexpectedly in December.  It's an awful hard thing to swallow during a time when you are excited about that new baby joining your family.  My family has had a few rough months, as she died on Dec 12 and my Mom exactly 2 months after that.  Happily, my cousin had a little girl last week and named it after her Mom. 

Comment by Maddy on May 21, 2013 at 9:39am

Hi Amanda,

It must have been a terribly hard day for you. This past weekend was difficult for my father and I as well as the long weekend in May (in Canada) was always the weekend we all gardened together.

Memories are a funny thing I think. They can bring us great comfort or cause us great sorrow - or, they can do both at the same time. I hope you managed to find peace somehow this weekend.

Maddy

Comment by Amanda on May 20, 2013 at 1:19pm

Today is a day of birthdays, I suppose! Today, my Mom would have been 58 years old. I would have given her a garden statue, like I do every year. She loved her garden!

It's been 45 days since I last spoke to her and last saw her play with my son, her only grandchild. The shock and disbelief at her sudden passing is, in many ways, just as strong. But the sadness gets deeper every day. I miss her so much.

Comment by Melisa C on May 20, 2013 at 5:57am

Today, my Mom would have been 71 years old.

She'd hate my telling you, but since you didn't know her, maybe it would be ok. She never liked people asking her age, thought it was rude. When I was a child, she'd tell anyone who asked, jokingly, that she was 25. Then, when I turned 25, I told her she couldn't be younger than me, that she couldn't be that age anymore.

On January,after the funeral, my Godmother came to me, and asked me ''So how old was your Mom?''. It was funny, my Mom had never told her even after all these years of knowing each other.

I think I'm going to buy Mom some flowers, and place them next to her ashes. I always bought a nice cake that we had together, don't know if I want to do that this year. It crossed my mind to get her a gift and all but then I wouldn't know what to do with it afterwards.

I would always call her in the morning from work to wish her a happy birthday. This year it won't be possible. At least I'm going to try to be a bit less sad since it's supposed to be a happy day.

Well, that would be all. Thanks for reading, I don't really have anyone to tell these things.

Comment by Maddy on May 18, 2013 at 12:36pm

Hi Amanda,

First let me say how sorry I am for your loss. Secondly, I would like to thank you for your different perspective - I never thought of it that way. It makes it a bit easier to handle.

Is this your first child? I haven't met another pregnant woman who has suffered the loss of a family member while being pregnant. I have to admit I am relieved to meet someone who can share my experience on a different level.

Thank you for responding. You have given me great comfort.

Comment by Amanda on May 17, 2013 at 4:43pm

Maddy--I'm due on July 1, and July 6 would be the 3 month anniversary of my mom's death. I don't think I'll be that overdue, but I wouldn't mind. I think I would welcome it, actually. The "coincidence" would be too great, and it would help me believe that she's still with me. So many people have told me that my mom will be there in spirit when my baby is born, and delivering on the 6th would help me believe it. But I understand where you're coming from, too.

Comment by Jeff R on May 17, 2013 at 4:35pm

You just never know when the grief will hit you.  Was in Boston today on business and went to Legal Seafoods for lunch.  Saw fried scallops on the menu---Mom's favorite--and it really got to me.  Silly, little stuff like that just eats at you.

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