Don't grieve alone; 14,000 members and growing
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You were so young! In Oct 8, 2015 I lost my mom. I know I will be feeling sad for the rest of my life. Knowing that she is not here anymore is hard. I dream about her very often, but it is not the same thing than having her. Always remember what she wanted for you and try to achieve it to make her proud. Always remember that she is watching you, her spirit is with you.
I just joined this group after 3 years of not really doing much about the grief I was feeling. I lost my mom 3 years, 2 months and 1 day ago on September 1st 2012 when I was 16. It all happened so fast and I still haven't even really faced the reality of it all. My mom was a single mom who worked so hard to give me the best possible life I could have ever dreamed of. She was so beautiful, so smart, so loving, kind and everyone who knew her said her smile lit up a room. It wasn't fair what happened to her, she was diagnosed with stage 4 cervical cancer and only live for 2 months after her diagnosis. I miss my mom every single day and it makes me so numb that sometimes I don't even feel the pain of her death. It was always just me and her, she was my bestfriend and she knew me better than anyone in the whole wide world. I feel so guilty every single day that she never got to see me grow up and mature out of those bratty teenage years because she deserved so much more than the way that I treated her sometimes. She never got to see me graduate highschool or start my freshman year of college. It hurts me because I had so much more to show her and she disappeared out of nowhere without me every really being able to say goodbye.I live with the regrets of not always telling her how much I loved her and appreciated her, and I know that's a "typical teenage thing" but usually their mother's get to see them grow out of that stage. Mine didn't. I just miss her so much everyday and I can hardly cry about it because I can't talk about it, I don't tell anyone about it, and I don't admit to myself how much it hurts. I bottle all my emotions up until I feel overwhelmed and one comment about a mother or death just makes me run into a bathroom stall and burst out in tears. I just wish she could see where I am today, and where I will be in the future all because of her. I know she's watching over me, but I just miss having someone hold me when I'm sad and know exactly what to say. She was my everything, and I loved her more than anything in this world. I feel like I took her for granted when I had her and now I just feel empty all the time. I just don't know where to go from here.
Sharon,
I hope you had enjoyed your good memories with your mom. Six more days and it will be a month since my mom died. Still crying and sad.
Hi Sharon,
It is a hard day for you specially today. We are with you, and know what you are going through.
God give us all strength!
I know exactly how you feel. I actually feel guilty when I have a "good or happy moments". The weird thing is I find now that Christmas is popping up at the stores and TV, I listen to some Xmas music and it helps my sadness. Today was the first day I felt it was a normal day. I was actually content for a few hours but to I night I am sad. Not crying. I have to try and keep it together for my 14 year old Son. My Moms only Grandson. They were close. He handled it was better than me. I will pray for you , please pray for me. I will also pray for all the souls who have went home. My only true consolation is she was ready. She wanted to meet Jesus and she wanted to be with my Dad again. God bless you. Please know, you are no it alone. Losing a wonderful Mother is a very hard thing and all we can do is pray and be here for each other. Try and have a peaceful night.
Wendy,
I lost my mom on October 8, 2015. It is really hard for me to think that she is not here anymore. I miss her so much. I cry and think about her every single day. I am sad. I feel I am not the same. The death of my mother has changed me. I did everything for her, everything I could, but sometimes I feel guilty too. I told my friend that I should have done more. She does not agree. She said that I did a lot for my mother, everything I needed to do, that I don't need to feel guilty. I see you did a lot for your mother, everything you needed to do too. We need to pray for us as well as for our moms. I have heard people saying that it will be better. I don't know, but I will have my mom in my thoughts and my heart every single day of my life and that I will cry every single day until the day I die.
MY mom died October 16,2015. Almost exactly 7 years to the day my Dad died. He died Friday Oct. 17, 2008 at 6:15pm, Mom died Friday October 16,2015 at 6:00 pm. That was so hard. I held her hand when she died. We buried her on October 22,2015. I miss her so bad, I was her caregiver. She had lung cancer. I was with her 1 week, then, 6 days into my stay I had to call Hospice to take her to a hospice center. I feel so much guilt because she wanted to die at home. I couldn't help her anymore. Her delierium was getting worse and I physically couldn't handle it. She kept pulling her cathader out. I miss her. I hope she understands that I had to put her in a place that can handle her. I hope she forgives me. I love her so much. She's been gone just 2 weeks. I sometimes think this pain won't go away. The guilt is killing me. I feel maybe she thinks I was too lazy to not try. I did try. It was only me caring for her. I gave her the medicines too calm her but it wasn't enough...I feel so sad right now. I need to be strong for my Son. I miss Mom so much.....please pray it gets better for us.
I am so sorry, Janette. That must have been traumatizing. I hate that I had to see my mother suffer, but I am grateful that I had the opportunity to say goodbye. I don't think we will ever be able to truly move on from this. I know I am irrevocably changed. My siblings feel the same.
I have only recently begun speaking about my mom to one of my friends. I miss her so much and talking about her helps me to feel like she is still a part of my life. It is a struggle not to break down in tears every time I think of her, but I think it is helping. Please know that you aren't alone. If you ever need to talk we are here. xx
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