I lost my mother on October 8, 2015. It is the worst experience I have ever had. I can’t stop thinking about her all day long. I have been reading a lot about grief and mourning, but nothing makes me feel better. She was 103 years old. She always recognized my brother, my friends, my husband and me until she went on a deep sleep for 20 days and then passed away. It was so sad and heartbroken to see her the way she was and not being able to help. I just kissed her very often, caressed her forehead, head, hair, face, arms, hands, shoulders, feet, legs, thigh, and talked to her a lot. She just moved her head to say yes or no, but later on there was no more yes or no with her head, she didn't hear anything. When I went to see her on October the 8th, the nurse said, "She is gone". I didn't believe it. I touched her face, her neck, her heart trying to find some signs of life. I told my husband, "Her heart is beating". He said, "It is your hand not her heart; she passed away." I hugged her stronger than ever and started crying and crying while hugging her. I was leaning on her chest, kissing her and crying for about two hours until the person from the funeral home came and I didn't want to let her go. My husband pulled me, so they could take out her body. I continued crying and I collapsed. My husband had to take me out of the room in my mom wheelchair. After they took the body out I continued crying, I was shaking and thought my heart was going to explode. Today is October 18, and I am extremely sad. I am depressed. The same day she died, I dreamed about her. I dreamed that someone knocked on the door, I opened it and there was my mom, closed eyes, collapsing on me. I fell and my mom was on top of me. I cried while I was telling her, “mom, don’t die, don’t die. She never opened her eyes. It was so real. I miss her a lot. Her last days of life she was just sleeping all day. I pray for her and really would like to be with her. I miss her so much.
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Not sure how to use this, Margie my mom has been gone for about 3 months now everyday is sad. I too kiss her picture will never throw her clothes away. Miss my mom so much I cry everyday. Big hole in my heart God bless you..
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