Losing Someone to Cancer

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Losing Someone to Cancer

This is for anyone who has lost somone to cancer. I lost my adopted Mom to breast cancer some years ago. She was everything I could have asked for. She loved me because I was just me. She also loved my family and children as if they were her own.

Members: 632
Latest Activity: Jun 13, 2022

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Lost Dad to Lung Cancer

Started by Shane Hughes Apr 16, 2020.

I feel worse 2 and a half years on, than I ever did. 11 Replies

Started by Michael Thompson. Last reply by morgan May 12, 2019.

Give yourself time to heal

Started by Felicia Evans May 8, 2018.

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Comment by Mary M. on March 7, 2014 at 2:18pm
Hi Vicky. I haven't had those type of dreams but it sounds like your subconscious mind is working through your loss. Dreams are said to be our means of understanding what is happening in our lives. If it were me, I think I would savour these moments as maybe a way of Mark reaching out to you to let you know everything will one day be better than right now. Blessings
Comment by VickyJ on March 7, 2014 at 1:34pm

Good afternoon, I am dealing with my grief on a day to day basis. I have noticed that I dream of Mark often--he calls me and we talk or we are together somewhere. These dreams have been very pleasant until the last few days. Toward the end of these dreams I always remember that Mark is now deceased---in one I was trying to warn him that the cancer was going to take him LONG before we thought.  In another, I recognized that he was gone and I was not really talking to him at all.  Has anyone had these kinds of dreams???? 

Comment by dream moon JO B on February 27, 2014 at 3:31pm

saw smthng on tv abot big c abot panrate big c nevr gets mush warng abot it lk othr big c it evn saed mre pele get killed by it 

iv lots so mny famly on my dads sde 2 big c i hav 

iv evn got fmly nw try 2 beat ot frm in laws 2 blood fmly i dnt sea mush famly till bad thngs happen ths days 

im so srooy fr evry s loss 2 ths evil dese but nevr let any 1 tel u 2 get over it or bully u 2 get over it coz its nt rht we sud be alowd 2 griv or own way

jo

Comment by Mary M. on February 27, 2014 at 3:00pm
I am sorry to read of so many more losses. My thoughts and prayers go out to you all. It's too bad some families have to act like barracudas when our loved ones pass. Sorry that some of you are dealing with this as well as your grief. Blessings to you all.
Comment by Laurie on February 27, 2014 at 2:19pm
My step-daughter has been my only "problem" she never accepted our life together. We were together for 25 years, but only married 7. Once he got sick, she was on sight ALL the time. I thought we had done a lot of healing. That is until he did pass, she wanted everything he ever had or touched. Because of this, I have now lost contact with two of my Granddaughters.
Thankfully my step-son and two daughters have been wonderful.
I try to hold on to the good times.
God bless you all
Comment by VickyJ on February 27, 2014 at 1:56pm

Marsha, I do have pictures and a few items he bought me over the years, but I wanted his pocket knife and a few personal things that I saw him carry him everyday. I will be fine, I know, but I can sympathize with how you feel.  The law and what is right can sometimes be very different things!

Comment by marsha on February 27, 2014 at 1:45pm

Vicky: I am so sorry you have nothing of your love's possessions. It has helped a lot to have things to hold and remember. My husband and I were never legally married: we were common-law for 19 years and shared many good times. But, after his death, his sister who lives 3000 miles away wanted me to ship all his belongings to her because I was not family. I did not do this and do not feel guilty at all. I hope you have pictures of some of your activities at least.

Comment by VickyJ on February 27, 2014 at 1:19pm

Oh Marsha, I am so sorry!  I just don't see how they can be "cancer free" one moment and then gone so very soon thereafter!  In my case, my fiancé made a provisional will the day the oncologist said he had six months---he died a week later and never got well enough to stipulate anything in his will. We had dated for several years and I moved in once he became ill.  Has his family offered me one single thing of his?  NO. So, compounding my grief over losing him and our future, I have nothing of his, even though he had promised I would be taken care of.  Things sure can be unfair in life, can't they?  You hang in and keep in touch. I'll be thinking about you.

Comment by marsha on February 27, 2014 at 1:12pm

It's been 2 months since my husband, Ray, passed away from liver failure brought on by chemo from lung cancer treatments. The doctors kept saying everything was ok...cancer was gone. But just days after the last treatment he passed out and was never the same. 6 weeks later he was gone. I, like you, am in shock. He was supposed to get his strength back so we could retire together this year. Now I can no longer retire on my monies alone and all our plans are for naught. I really miss him and would welcome him back even if we had to still work and never retire. It just seems all the planning and hoping and him being ill from the treatments were a waste of time.

Comment by VickyJ on February 27, 2014 at 11:42am

Laurie, I sort of feel like I have lived both sides of this issue. My loved one had esophageal cancer last year and through an esophagectomy, radiation, and chemo he became cancer free. We made definitive plans to marry then.........all of a suddenly one morning he woke up jaundiced. Within 3 weeks he was gone--it was sudden for all of us at that point. The oncologist had just given him six months......after that prognosis he lived exactly one week.  So, while I did have time to think about losing him and realizing I could, I had not really believed that he would not be a survivor.  May time bring you peace.

 

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