Losing Someone to Cancer

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Losing Someone to Cancer

This is for anyone who has lost somone to cancer. I lost my adopted Mom to breast cancer some years ago. She was everything I could have asked for. She loved me because I was just me. She also loved my family and children as if they were her own.

Members: 632
Latest Activity: Jun 13, 2022

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Lost Dad to Lung Cancer

Started by Shane Hughes Apr 16, 2020.

I feel worse 2 and a half years on, than I ever did. 11 Replies

Started by Michael Thompson. Last reply by morgan May 12, 2019.

Give yourself time to heal

Started by Felicia Evans May 8, 2018.

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Comment by Trina Mamoon on February 17, 2015 at 7:25pm

James,

What a beautiful account you gave of your love for your departed wife. It's very touching. I can relate to what you said and what you are going through. I lost my darling husband a little over six months ago and it's been a rough journey so far. 

My Joseph too was never once angry--he was only 49 years old--and he suffered a lot of pain the last couple of months before his passing. He was always very kind, especially to the great nursing staff, and to everyone else he interacted with during the nine months of his illness. So our spouses have left a bright example for us, how to be patient and how to bear it without being angry. I want to live up to the standard Joseph set for me and let that guide me through this heartrending journey. We have no children, but I have loving siblings. My only wish and prayer is to join him as soon as possible, but I can't do it by my own hand. The only way that I can keep on going without having a nervous breakdown is that I believe that sooner or later I will be reunited with Joseph. He is waiting for me.

So please try to go on living, as utterly hard as it is do so. Your wife would want you to go on living and not suffer such despair and terrible pain.

Sending healing vibes your way. -- Trina

Comment by Fran on February 17, 2015 at 7:07pm

James, we all feel your pain. Please don't overdo the drugs...it would be such a dis-service to your wife! That's what keeps me from drinking too much or taking pills, is knowing my husband would be so disappointed in me....Hang in there. You are not alone!

Comment by James Quinn on February 17, 2015 at 6:42pm

Is has been awhile since i was on here i have been doing much at all, things that i loved doing seem pointless at the moment,i used to love growing our own inorganic veg i would be out there working and smiling looking at me was my heart and soul with such a smile i would forget what i was doing.The other day while down in the garden i looked up to the window and it was empty like i am feeling , it was five months ago on 13th of sept  so the thirteenth is a hard day for me,things that happened in hospital before she died are coming through all the time flash backs of what my love  went through she never complained or was angry ,I know what she would say to me if she could but the pain and loss is so great at times i shake with despair .I have a lovely family no kids but seven siblings i see when i can but at the moment i feel like not seeing anyone night time comes i take my zopiclone sleeping pill and hope i will not wake up i told my family how i feel but this journey i am on inside i walk alone .So every night when dark i light the Ecoya  midnight orchid candle below her photo and ashes that i keep so when i die we will be mixed together .The last words i whispered in her ear as she was dying was were ever you go i will find you.This is the price of true love i gladly pay even though i am in hell at the moment 

Comment by Fran on February 14, 2015 at 1:36pm

I just passed the 3  month"anniversary" of my husband's death. I would love to crawl in a corner and let the world pass me by. But, I know how terribly disappointed he would be if I didn't continue to live. 

Comment by Nicole on February 13, 2015 at 1:56pm

I'm so sorry! , I also was adopted as a child, tho Im grown now , and my adopted dad now has terminal cancer my adopted parents love me also for me I can so relate hugs plz take care !

Comment by Trina Mamoon on February 10, 2015 at 8:39pm

The days it gets intolerable and it's ben hard to breathe, I comfort myself by reminding myself of how fortunate I was to have met my amazing husband and to have shared 19 years of my life with him. For all those of us who are missing the love of our life, let this thought bring us some comfort. Not everyone gets to experience a great love, but so many of us on this forum did just that. That in itself is a blessing. And it's those exceptional, beautiful things that are short-lived. So while we would give anything to bring back our beloved spouse/partner and yearn for that loving phone call or email, we have the consolation of having known them, loved them and being loved back in return.

And like James Quinn, I would never take a pill that would take my pain away and erase the memory of my most wonderful Joseph. That's the price of loving and loving so deeply.

Wishing all the bereaved people here peace and the strength to face each new day. 

Comment by Shirley on February 10, 2015 at 6:16pm

Mary,  Just read your post and relate to your pain and grief. I have lost two husbands , both to Lung Cancer.  My first hubby died at the age of 38 and we had four young children.  Raised my kids by myself and after ward married the second one.  Just lost him to Lung Cancer the 29 of April 2014. Have never questioned as to why or why me. Know GOD has plans for every one of us and we have to move forward slowly and wait until we are called Home. Going to say a prayer for you and hope you find some Comfort soon.   A gal who has been there twice also.  

Comment by Mary R on February 10, 2015 at 5:09pm
I have been reading your stories for the past couple of months. I breaks my heart to hear all the sadness that runs through our lives. I have been unfortunate to have lost two husbands. My first husband died from diabetes complications when he was only 35. I had 3 children and a career, so I never got to grieve. I met and married a wonderful man 10 years after my first husband died. Life was great. Then lung cancer joined us and never left. He lived for 14 months. The chemo, radiation, and other crap he tolerated made me respect him even more. He tried so hard to beat it. I spent countless hours trying to find answers and make his illness tolerable....I failed. I am thankful for the years we shared, but wanted more. We had plans. He was my best friend. He died 3 years and 3 months ago... And I have trouble coming up with a reason to live. Prayer hasn't helped... Nor has drinking myself to sleep. I relocated to be closer to family, but that hasn't helped either. I am a strong, intelligent woman...but I feel like there is no wind left in my sails and I am just adrift.
Thanks for letting me share.
Comment by Laura on February 10, 2015 at 3:16pm

Thank you Roger for sharing your story. Its hard to keep going, but we have to wake up each day and just do it. I will pray for peace for you.

Comment by dream moon JO B on February 10, 2015 at 2:56pm

i hate bic c even sayng mks me feal so sic its a evil illness its so not fair wn loved 1s get it 

we sea thm suffer thn we suffer sean thm suffer

 

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