Shirley
  • Peoria, AZ
  • United States
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  • Anne Dabalos
  • Anita Jeffery
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  • Trey Osborn
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Shirley replied to Kevin Bailey's discussion Pain in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Kevin,   Just read your post and wanted to say hello and let you know that I can relate to what you are going through right now. When I was 30, we was happily married , we had children and we were a typical American family.  …"
Feb 12
Shirley replied to Richard Rivera's discussion MY BELOVED WIFE DIED DECEMBER 2ND in the group Lost My Spouse...
".....Richard.   I read your post and want you to know there is hope for you if you only ask for it.......There is a program on face book that is called Widows Hope,, Google this web site and join up with them.  There are men and women…"
Jan 6
Shirley replied to Richard Rivera's discussion MY BELOVED WIFE DIED DECEMBER 2ND in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Richard....Thanks for responding to me.... I am still going to keep praying that GOD protects you and leads you out of the depression you are going through now.....Can comprehend the agony you are  living with, but still believe we all have the…"
Dec 28, 2016
Shirley replied to Richard Rivera's discussion MY BELOVED WIFE DIED DECEMBER 2ND in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Richard....Want you to know I can relate to you and how you are feeling. A little about me..okay.  I was 31, had four kids,  the youngest was a 15 month old daughter.  My husband, their Dad, passed at the age of 38 with lung…"
Dec 28, 2016
Shirley replied to Richard Rivera's discussion MY BELOVED WIFE DIED DECEMBER 2ND in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Richard,   my heart goes out to you.   Life is wonderful and we all have hurdles and problems that we have to endure on a daily basis.  Going to ask you a question.  Please do not be angry with me  either. …"
Dec 26, 2016
Shirley replied to Richard Rivera's discussion MY BELOVED WIFE DIED DECEMBER 2ND in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Richard....Do not know you but just read your post and going to ask GOD to  touch you gently and bring you out of the depression you are in.    Our CREATOR knows everything  and still controls all of our lives. HE has made a…"
Dec 21, 2016
Shirley commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Sorry I have not posted in awhile, but have been trying to take care of my older sister as she has several serious health issues.,, Lost my  first husband when he was 38 and  Lung Cancer took  his  life.   Had small…"
Dec 20, 2016
Shirley joined Jon-Paul Ackerman's group
Dec 20, 2016
Shirley commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"Susan P....Thanks for your reply and for your Blessings.  Where I live they have these group meetings  inside some of the Health Insurance buildings..  Know they have meetings at Cigna because have seen the group meeting…"
May 5, 2016
Shirley commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"Susan  P...Have you thought about going to grief groups?  When my hubby passed in April 2014, I started going to the group meetings at Hospice of the Valley and that helped a lot.... Everyone there have the same grief, hurt and pain you do…"
May 5, 2016
Shirley commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"Wanted to say hello to Susan Szoke....Can relate to your post and will say I am sorry for the loss of your hubby. Have gone through the same ordeal and can say that my God has brought me through safely. Yesterday was the 2nd year since my…"
Apr 30, 2016
Shirley commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"Want to say "Thanks" to  Trina Mamoon for your wonderful comment.  Also wanted to say my Faith has brought me this far and  will continue being there for me always.Was raised in the Eastern Mountains of Kentucky and my Daddy…"
Apr 27, 2016
Shirley commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"Good evening everybody, Wanted to come on tonight and post a tribute to the husband I lost to Cancer on the 29th of April 2014.  He first had cancer of the prostrate in 2000, had radiation treatments and seed implants,  then Cancer started…"
Apr 26, 2016
Shirley commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"Going to say a few word regarding the message by Bill Smith prior to mine for Trina.Going to say I agree with a lot of the words in your post.When we lose our love one to death.we have to understand our life is still very much alive. We all could…"
Mar 27, 2016
Shirley commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"Would like to say a few words on behalf of the post by Trina Mamoon. Can relate to your experience with you Joseph.  My hubby passed April 29 2014, at home, with Hospice of the Valley, my son and myself doing the care giving. He was hefty,…"
Mar 27, 2016
Shirley commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"Hello,  Been a few since I last posted.  Lost my hubby the 29 of April 2014.  Next month will 2 years and it seems like it was last week It is terrible watching the guy you are married to go through the different stages of…"
Mar 26, 2016

Profile Information

About Me:
My name is Shirley. Live in Peoria Arizona and still grieving the loss of my husband from Cancer, that was located in five different areas of his body. He passed the 29 of April 2014.
About my Loss:
It has been a slow procedure to get to the point I am today. Having taken care of him, with Hospice of the Valley, and watching him fade away in front of me was very stressful and hard to comprehend. Cancer is something the patient can not understand when the confusion , pain, and meds begin to start . He was trying so hard to be brave but a person can only take so much and they begin to leave us a little bit at a time. When he closed his eyes for the last time , he took half of my heart with him. Still love him and miss him like crazy, but do understand what God Plans I do not question. I do find Comfort and Peace in knowing the pain, confusion, and medications are no longer a part of him and he has found Peace in his new home in Heaven. One day we will meet again and never have to say good bye again. Hope everyone who have lost their loved one will find peace in knowing they are in a much better place than the one they were trapped here with at the end of their life on earth.

Comment Wall (2 comments)

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At 11:53pm on February 28, 2015, Anita Jeffery said…

Thank you Shirley for your prayers.  It seems like we just get through each day.  I remember when my husband was first diagnosed, Jan. 13, 2014;  I think first I thought, this has to be wrong, and then the practical part of me thought ... how does a loving couple go through this?  What are the rules, is it OK to cry and rant and scream in front of the person who is diagnosed with terminal cancer?   But we did go through it.  However, so much pain is in me right now, sometimes I feel like I have to explode with the sorrow for myself and my son, anger, fear of the future, loneliness, helplessness, sadness, you name it.  I don't know anymore what I believe about God and the afterlife.  I HOPE that my husband will be there waiting for me, but I'm only 58 years old.  I am not going to say that I will never be happy.  I have found many female friends that have been just amazingly supportive.  I hope to still travel.  I want to go back to volunteering as I was doing before my husband died.  But when I just for a minute feel I'm doing something normal, suddenly it's like a kick in the stomach, my whole life has changed.  I will never get to grow old with my wonderful husband.  I felt in some ways that we were just getting to the best part of our lives together.  We weren't constantly worried about money, we had a nice house, our son is grown and while he still lives with me, (I wanted to say us), he has his own life.  I would never have wanted my husband to go on, and in fact was accepting of the fact that he only had a few weeks, if not days.  As it turned out, it was days.  The thing that haunts me is how terrible his manner of death was, and the pain that he endured to live through a year with such aggressive cancer.  I can't help remembering my feelings of helplessness, and inadequacy to help him in his pain.  All there was to help were more and more drugs.  It's an unbelievable feeling that I would never want to have anyone experience.  And now, I have to have these memories.  It's hard to just hold it in and not want to tell people the nightmare of someone going through this kind of illness and death. 

I wish you all the best, and hope you keep remembering all the wonderful things about your husband! 

At 8:42pm on January 7, 2015, Roger said…
Thank you louraniah for your sweet words of encouragment. I will absolutely remember you in my prayers.
 
 
 

Latest Activity

Nancy Dynes commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Tanya, I just read your post from yesterday. You are SO right!! I have some clothing of my mom's tucked away that I am keeping. One piece is a shirt she used to wear in the 60's that I remember so clearly from when I was a little girl. I…"
3 hours ago
Nancy Dynes commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I'm so sorry, Theresa. It's too bad the lot of us don't live nearer together so we could meet and support one another. One thing I've learned through this is that there are people in our lives who can be thoughtless and…"
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Nancy Dynes commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Bluebell, I can relate so well to this. I can't tell you how many times I have said and felt these exact same things. I'd see a recipe that looked good and start to call my mom to tell her about it, I'd create a piece of art but she…"
4 hours ago
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I went out shopping with a friend today. When I saw a pretty wind chime, I found myself thinking "Mom would like that". But there is no more Mom to get presents for. I miss her. I want her back. I wish this was all a very long, horrible…"
5 hours ago
catherine bailey commented on Jodi Denton's group Traumatic loss of an only child
"It really helps to communicate with others who have experienced the same loss, so thanks to all who answered my post.  Lenny, Connie and Kim - we all understand each other.  Today was a better day for me - some days are like that.…"
9 hours ago
Lenny commented on Jodi Denton's group Traumatic loss of an only child
"Dear Connie, Katherine and Kim I fully understand the bereft feelings and I also have been anxious about precious moments of our daughters and where they will end up when we pass. The pain of losing our only child never ends , even when we appear to…"
12 hours ago
Connie K commented on Jodi Denton's group Traumatic loss of an only child
"Dear Catherine I feel the very same way. I have everything form my son's baby things, through elementary and high school. He died at age 17 and never got to even graduate, drive a car by himself, well you know....I have things of mine I wanted…"
14 hours ago
cin po commented on Valentina Jolley's blog post Letter to you; my other half in heaven
"I too have regrets and your post deeply resonated with me. I wish I spent more time with him. I wished I laughed more with him. I wish I talked to him more. It's too late now.  I will never be the same. I am trying to help myself in little…"
18 hours ago
cin po left a comment for Fran
"Hi Fran, I am forced to do all of these things as quick as I can because I have to go back to work soon. I am trying to finish all of the paperwork. I was forced to do things quickly even though I am so emotionally distraught. My world stopped when…"
18 hours ago
cin po commented on cin po's blog post Talking to people about my loss & grief helps me
"Hi Jewels, I am so sad that your husband died a sudden death. My partner and I had a conversation about what's the worst thing that could happen to him. We talked about it for hours and we cried a lot that night. In a way we were saying…"
18 hours ago
kim commented on Jodi Denton's group Traumatic loss of an only child
"Catherine, I to lost my only child my son in 2014. im not doing good, I pray to die everyday. theres no life with out my son for me.  shawn is the love of my life.  my depression is getting worse, my loneliness emptiness.  im so very…"
19 hours ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Heather, yes I do, I have no one, my husband doesn't even want to hear me talk about it, he ignores me when I do I have not had a dream about her yet To me it seems like everyone thinks I should just move on, but I'm not ready, I have…"
20 hours ago
Heather commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I do the same thing, at least several times a day. My Mom was a diabetic so I had to take the used testing strips back to the pharmacy the other day. I actually sat In the car hugging it, something of hers that I have to let go of and it made me so…"
yesterday
Jewels updated their profile
yesterday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I just had to say when I get in bed at night I have such a hard time - I cry mostly every night and I remember that every night when i used to talk to my mom on the phone when we were hanging up she would say love you...And I think to myself who…"
yesterday
Jewels and JESSICA are now friends
yesterday
JESSICA posted photos
yesterday
JESSICA left a comment for JESSICA
"Thank both of u you made. My day a lot better knowing ur concern is comforting."
yesterday
JESSICA left a comment for Jewels
"So very sorry for your loss. Please accept my friendship I will be here for u to listen if not anything else."
yesterday
catherine bailey commented on Jodi Denton's group Traumatic loss of an only child
"I lost my only son, aged 28, in November 2014.  On the surface I am doing well, and I am functioning on a day to day basis just fine.  But every day it replays in my mind how the police came to my door to say Scott had 'passed…"
yesterday

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