Shirley
  • Peoria, AZ
  • United States
Share on Facebook
Share

Shirley's Friends

  • Michael Thompson
  • Anne Dabalos
  • Anita Jeffery
  • sandra
  • Trey Osborn
  • Brenda Ann

Shirley's Groups

Gifts Received

Gift

Shirley has not received any gifts yet

Give a Gift

 

Shirley's Page

Latest Activity

Shirley replied to Kevin Bailey's discussion Pain in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Kevin,   Just read your post and wanted to say hello and let you know that I can relate to what you are going through right now. When I was 30, we was happily married , we had children and we were a typical American family.  …"
Feb 12
Shirley replied to Richard Rivera's discussion MY BELOVED WIFE DIED DECEMBER 2ND in the group Lost My Spouse...
".....Richard.   I read your post and want you to know there is hope for you if you only ask for it.......There is a program on face book that is called Widows Hope,, Google this web site and join up with them.  There are men and women…"
Jan 6
Shirley replied to Richard Rivera's discussion MY BELOVED WIFE DIED DECEMBER 2ND in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Richard....Thanks for responding to me.... I am still going to keep praying that GOD protects you and leads you out of the depression you are going through now.....Can comprehend the agony you are  living with, but still believe we all have the…"
Dec 28, 2016
Shirley replied to Richard Rivera's discussion MY BELOVED WIFE DIED DECEMBER 2ND in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Richard....Want you to know I can relate to you and how you are feeling. A little about me..okay.  I was 31, had four kids,  the youngest was a 15 month old daughter.  My husband, their Dad, passed at the age of 38 with lung…"
Dec 28, 2016
Shirley replied to Richard Rivera's discussion MY BELOVED WIFE DIED DECEMBER 2ND in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Richard,   my heart goes out to you.   Life is wonderful and we all have hurdles and problems that we have to endure on a daily basis.  Going to ask you a question.  Please do not be angry with me  either. …"
Dec 26, 2016
Shirley replied to Richard Rivera's discussion MY BELOVED WIFE DIED DECEMBER 2ND in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Richard....Do not know you but just read your post and going to ask GOD to  touch you gently and bring you out of the depression you are in.    Our CREATOR knows everything  and still controls all of our lives. HE has made a…"
Dec 21, 2016
Shirley commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Sorry I have not posted in awhile, but have been trying to take care of my older sister as she has several serious health issues.,, Lost my  first husband when he was 38 and  Lung Cancer took  his  life.   Had small…"
Dec 20, 2016
Shirley joined Jon-Paul Ackerman's group
Dec 20, 2016
Shirley commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"Susan P....Thanks for your reply and for your Blessings.  Where I live they have these group meetings  inside some of the Health Insurance buildings..  Know they have meetings at Cigna because have seen the group meeting…"
May 5, 2016
Shirley commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"Susan  P...Have you thought about going to grief groups?  When my hubby passed in April 2014, I started going to the group meetings at Hospice of the Valley and that helped a lot.... Everyone there have the same grief, hurt and pain you do…"
May 5, 2016
Shirley commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"Wanted to say hello to Susan Szoke....Can relate to your post and will say I am sorry for the loss of your hubby. Have gone through the same ordeal and can say that my God has brought me through safely. Yesterday was the 2nd year since my…"
Apr 30, 2016
Shirley commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"Want to say "Thanks" to  Trina Mamoon for your wonderful comment.  Also wanted to say my Faith has brought me this far and  will continue being there for me always.Was raised in the Eastern Mountains of Kentucky and my Daddy…"
Apr 27, 2016
Shirley commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"Good evening everybody, Wanted to come on tonight and post a tribute to the husband I lost to Cancer on the 29th of April 2014.  He first had cancer of the prostrate in 2000, had radiation treatments and seed implants,  then Cancer started…"
Apr 26, 2016
Shirley commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"Going to say a few word regarding the message by Bill Smith prior to mine for Trina.Going to say I agree with a lot of the words in your post.When we lose our love one to death.we have to understand our life is still very much alive. We all could…"
Mar 27, 2016
Shirley commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"Would like to say a few words on behalf of the post by Trina Mamoon. Can relate to your experience with you Joseph.  My hubby passed April 29 2014, at home, with Hospice of the Valley, my son and myself doing the care giving. He was hefty,…"
Mar 27, 2016
Shirley commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"Hello,  Been a few since I last posted.  Lost my hubby the 29 of April 2014.  Next month will 2 years and it seems like it was last week It is terrible watching the guy you are married to go through the different stages of…"
Mar 26, 2016

Profile Information

About Me:
My name is Shirley. Live in Peoria Arizona and still grieving the loss of my husband from Cancer, that was located in five different areas of his body. He passed the 29 of April 2014.
About my Loss:
It has been a slow procedure to get to the point I am today. Having taken care of him, with Hospice of the Valley, and watching him fade away in front of me was very stressful and hard to comprehend. Cancer is something the patient can not understand when the confusion , pain, and meds begin to start . He was trying so hard to be brave but a person can only take so much and they begin to leave us a little bit at a time. When he closed his eyes for the last time , he took half of my heart with him. Still love him and miss him like crazy, but do understand what God Plans I do not question. I do find Comfort and Peace in knowing the pain, confusion, and medications are no longer a part of him and he has found Peace in his new home in Heaven. One day we will meet again and never have to say good bye again. Hope everyone who have lost their loved one will find peace in knowing they are in a much better place than the one they were trapped here with at the end of their life on earth.

Comment Wall (2 comments)

You need to be a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community to add comments!

Join Online Grief Support - A Social Community

At 11:53pm on February 28, 2015, Anita Jeffery said…

Thank you Shirley for your prayers.  It seems like we just get through each day.  I remember when my husband was first diagnosed, Jan. 13, 2014;  I think first I thought, this has to be wrong, and then the practical part of me thought ... how does a loving couple go through this?  What are the rules, is it OK to cry and rant and scream in front of the person who is diagnosed with terminal cancer?   But we did go through it.  However, so much pain is in me right now, sometimes I feel like I have to explode with the sorrow for myself and my son, anger, fear of the future, loneliness, helplessness, sadness, you name it.  I don't know anymore what I believe about God and the afterlife.  I HOPE that my husband will be there waiting for me, but I'm only 58 years old.  I am not going to say that I will never be happy.  I have found many female friends that have been just amazingly supportive.  I hope to still travel.  I want to go back to volunteering as I was doing before my husband died.  But when I just for a minute feel I'm doing something normal, suddenly it's like a kick in the stomach, my whole life has changed.  I will never get to grow old with my wonderful husband.  I felt in some ways that we were just getting to the best part of our lives together.  We weren't constantly worried about money, we had a nice house, our son is grown and while he still lives with me, (I wanted to say us), he has his own life.  I would never have wanted my husband to go on, and in fact was accepting of the fact that he only had a few weeks, if not days.  As it turned out, it was days.  The thing that haunts me is how terrible his manner of death was, and the pain that he endured to live through a year with such aggressive cancer.  I can't help remembering my feelings of helplessness, and inadequacy to help him in his pain.  All there was to help were more and more drugs.  It's an unbelievable feeling that I would never want to have anyone experience.  And now, I have to have these memories.  It's hard to just hold it in and not want to tell people the nightmare of someone going through this kind of illness and death. 

I wish you all the best, and hope you keep remembering all the wonderful things about your husband! 

At 8:42pm on January 7, 2015, Roger said…
Thank you louraniah for your sweet words of encouragment. I will absolutely remember you in my prayers.
 
 
 

Latest Activity

bluebird commented on Constance May's blog post Just now joining to see what it's about.
"There are a lot of people on this site in the same or similar position; I hope that you will find some comfort here."
6 hours ago
bluebird replied to Darlene's discussion My grief has made me feel numb from the neck down, has anyone else felt this?
"I prefer not to feel anything, now. It's not healthy, I know, but it's my preference."
6 hours ago
bluebird commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Kim, Yes, grief is unbelievably exhausting. I am simultaneously always tired, and unable to sleep without pills.  When I have stuff I have to do, like doing the laundry or grocery shopping, it takes me hours to work up to doing it. I can manage…"
6 hours ago
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Melissa, I remember the early days.  I remember wondering about bills and what was I going to do and how was I going to do it because all I wanted to do was lay in the fetal position on my bed and cry and yet I had to go to work and on and on…"
6 hours ago
Joy joined Niecy's group
Thumbnail

Compounded grief with existing anxiety and depression.

During the tragic loss of a loved one or having gone through several tragedies , be it death of a loved one, divorce , personal health issues, or getting older , ect. Sometimes the stress and depression compounded by grief can be debilitating and it may have us feel as if we are mourning our own deaths while we are grieving the loss of our loved ones , We feel as if our own lives are over , Being in this mode can make recovery a longer more confusing process for some. It can be uncomfortable to…See More
6 hours ago
KIM Montgomery commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Can some please tell me, is grief truly exhausting.  It seems like I can barely stay awake when I get home.  I get up at 4:45 in the morning and at work by 5:45.  I usually leave around 2:45, hoping to have some energy to do things at…"
8 hours ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"i just past the one and a half year mark and my mom's birthday would be next week she would've been 94 I've been having a bad week I guess that happens I just miss her so much I feel so all alone."
9 hours ago
Ericka replied to Jules's discussion Lost without my husband in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Jules I understand some of what you're going through.  Yesterday would have been our 14th wedding anniversary. Instead, it was a day of pure misery.  It's only been six weeks since my 47-year-old husband passed away from…"
13 hours ago
Ericka joined Jon-Paul Ackerman's group
13 hours ago
morgan left a comment for Julianna Jenkins
"Its a long time to have your brain wired to someone else's.  I find I am still struggling pretty much daily, sometimes moe severe than others.  Right now I am going through having to pack up and move from one place I lived to another…"
14 hours ago
morgan left a comment for Jennifer Shepard
"Jenifer. I lost my love to stage IV caner and we had 27 days from diagnosis to death.  He was 63 and in 2 days would have been his 68th birthday.  No kids and one cat who belonged to him and stayed with me afterwards until she too died.…"
14 hours ago
morgan left a comment for Adria Manary
"Adria, I lost my husband over four years ago and I am not inspired.  I am just going through the necessary motions.  People want me to feel or they encourage me that I hopefully will find something that will bring back my spark.  Its…"
14 hours ago
morgan left a comment for Larry Piersa
"Be there.  Let her call and cry to you.  Dont offer advice.  Tell her how sorry you are this is happening to her but you will be there for her whenever or for whatever she wants or needs and do that.  Let her exhaust her…"
14 hours ago
Belle Merc replied to Janet Shores Hoogendyk's discussion Murder, Suicide, And living in fear in the group Multiple Losses Group
"June 23/17 - Dear heart, I cannot imagine the pain you are in with all that loss and horror.  I hope I can communicate with you in the future, I am also grieving many losses.  I am an Ordained Minister and I believe in the power of prayer…"
14 hours ago
Belle Merc joined Julie Dolsey-Weiss's group
Thumbnail

Multiple Losses Group

I am creating this site for the many of us who have suffered several losses. I lost my mom, dad, grandma(2nd mom), grandpa, my beloved dog and divorce.Many of us have lost more than one person or event.Come share!See More
14 hours ago
Belle Merc updated their profile
15 hours ago
Joy replied to Joy's discussion Missing mama every day! in the group Adult Daughters grieving the death of her Mother
"Thanks for the kind words Dennis. My belief in God and life after this one ends is what keeps me going."
15 hours ago
Dennis C. replied to Joy's discussion Missing mama every day! in the group Adult Daughters grieving the death of her Mother
"Joy I am very sorry for your loss. I believe that one day we will be reunited with our loved ones. Until then I rely on that belief to keep me looking forward and hopeful. This certainly doesn't take our pain away, but it does keep us focused…"
15 hours ago
Profile IconDennis C. and Joy joined Tonya's group
Thumbnail

Adult Daughters grieving the death of her Mother

This group is for adult daughters trying to cope with losing her Mother
15 hours ago
Joy commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"It's been a month since I buried mama. The world seems surreal to me now that she's gone. I love her so much. I refuse to use the past tense because to me love never dies. I know grief is a process, but one I'd rather not have to…"
15 hours ago

© 2017   Created by Diana, Grief Counselor.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service