Shirley
  • Peoria, AZ
  • United States
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Shirley replied to Kevin Bailey's discussion Pain in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Kevin,   Just read your post and wanted to say hello and let you know that I can relate to what you are going through right now. When I was 30, we was happily married , we had children and we were a typical American family.  …"
Feb 12
Shirley replied to Richard Rivera's discussion MY BELOVED WIFE DIED DECEMBER 2ND in the group Lost My Spouse...
".....Richard.   I read your post and want you to know there is hope for you if you only ask for it.......There is a program on face book that is called Widows Hope,, Google this web site and join up with them.  There are men and women…"
Jan 6
Shirley replied to Richard Rivera's discussion MY BELOVED WIFE DIED DECEMBER 2ND in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Richard....Thanks for responding to me.... I am still going to keep praying that GOD protects you and leads you out of the depression you are going through now.....Can comprehend the agony you are  living with, but still believe we all have the…"
Dec 28, 2016
Shirley replied to Richard Rivera's discussion MY BELOVED WIFE DIED DECEMBER 2ND in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Richard....Want you to know I can relate to you and how you are feeling. A little about me..okay.  I was 31, had four kids,  the youngest was a 15 month old daughter.  My husband, their Dad, passed at the age of 38 with lung…"
Dec 28, 2016
Shirley replied to Richard Rivera's discussion MY BELOVED WIFE DIED DECEMBER 2ND in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Richard,   my heart goes out to you.   Life is wonderful and we all have hurdles and problems that we have to endure on a daily basis.  Going to ask you a question.  Please do not be angry with me  either. …"
Dec 26, 2016
Shirley replied to Richard Rivera's discussion MY BELOVED WIFE DIED DECEMBER 2ND in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Richard....Do not know you but just read your post and going to ask GOD to  touch you gently and bring you out of the depression you are in.    Our CREATOR knows everything  and still controls all of our lives. HE has made a…"
Dec 21, 2016
Shirley commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Sorry I have not posted in awhile, but have been trying to take care of my older sister as she has several serious health issues.,, Lost my  first husband when he was 38 and  Lung Cancer took  his  life.   Had small…"
Dec 20, 2016
Shirley joined Jon-Paul Ackerman's group
Dec 20, 2016
Shirley commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"Susan P....Thanks for your reply and for your Blessings.  Where I live they have these group meetings  inside some of the Health Insurance buildings..  Know they have meetings at Cigna because have seen the group meeting…"
May 5, 2016
Shirley commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"Susan  P...Have you thought about going to grief groups?  When my hubby passed in April 2014, I started going to the group meetings at Hospice of the Valley and that helped a lot.... Everyone there have the same grief, hurt and pain you do…"
May 5, 2016
Shirley commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"Wanted to say hello to Susan Szoke....Can relate to your post and will say I am sorry for the loss of your hubby. Have gone through the same ordeal and can say that my God has brought me through safely. Yesterday was the 2nd year since my…"
Apr 30, 2016
Shirley commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"Want to say "Thanks" to  Trina Mamoon for your wonderful comment.  Also wanted to say my Faith has brought me this far and  will continue being there for me always.Was raised in the Eastern Mountains of Kentucky and my Daddy…"
Apr 27, 2016
Shirley commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"Good evening everybody, Wanted to come on tonight and post a tribute to the husband I lost to Cancer on the 29th of April 2014.  He first had cancer of the prostrate in 2000, had radiation treatments and seed implants,  then Cancer started…"
Apr 26, 2016
Shirley commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"Going to say a few word regarding the message by Bill Smith prior to mine for Trina.Going to say I agree with a lot of the words in your post.When we lose our love one to death.we have to understand our life is still very much alive. We all could…"
Mar 27, 2016
Shirley commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"Would like to say a few words on behalf of the post by Trina Mamoon. Can relate to your experience with you Joseph.  My hubby passed April 29 2014, at home, with Hospice of the Valley, my son and myself doing the care giving. He was hefty,…"
Mar 27, 2016
Shirley commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"Hello,  Been a few since I last posted.  Lost my hubby the 29 of April 2014.  Next month will 2 years and it seems like it was last week It is terrible watching the guy you are married to go through the different stages of…"
Mar 26, 2016

Profile Information

About Me:
My name is Shirley. Live in Peoria Arizona and still grieving the loss of my husband from Cancer, that was located in five different areas of his body. He passed the 29 of April 2014.
About my Loss:
It has been a slow procedure to get to the point I am today. Having taken care of him, with Hospice of the Valley, and watching him fade away in front of me was very stressful and hard to comprehend. Cancer is something the patient can not understand when the confusion , pain, and meds begin to start . He was trying so hard to be brave but a person can only take so much and they begin to leave us a little bit at a time. When he closed his eyes for the last time , he took half of my heart with him. Still love him and miss him like crazy, but do understand what God Plans I do not question. I do find Comfort and Peace in knowing the pain, confusion, and medications are no longer a part of him and he has found Peace in his new home in Heaven. One day we will meet again and never have to say good bye again. Hope everyone who have lost their loved one will find peace in knowing they are in a much better place than the one they were trapped here with at the end of their life on earth.

Comment Wall (2 comments)

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At 11:53pm on February 28, 2015, Anita Jeffery said…

Thank you Shirley for your prayers.  It seems like we just get through each day.  I remember when my husband was first diagnosed, Jan. 13, 2014;  I think first I thought, this has to be wrong, and then the practical part of me thought ... how does a loving couple go through this?  What are the rules, is it OK to cry and rant and scream in front of the person who is diagnosed with terminal cancer?   But we did go through it.  However, so much pain is in me right now, sometimes I feel like I have to explode with the sorrow for myself and my son, anger, fear of the future, loneliness, helplessness, sadness, you name it.  I don't know anymore what I believe about God and the afterlife.  I HOPE that my husband will be there waiting for me, but I'm only 58 years old.  I am not going to say that I will never be happy.  I have found many female friends that have been just amazingly supportive.  I hope to still travel.  I want to go back to volunteering as I was doing before my husband died.  But when I just for a minute feel I'm doing something normal, suddenly it's like a kick in the stomach, my whole life has changed.  I will never get to grow old with my wonderful husband.  I felt in some ways that we were just getting to the best part of our lives together.  We weren't constantly worried about money, we had a nice house, our son is grown and while he still lives with me, (I wanted to say us), he has his own life.  I would never have wanted my husband to go on, and in fact was accepting of the fact that he only had a few weeks, if not days.  As it turned out, it was days.  The thing that haunts me is how terrible his manner of death was, and the pain that he endured to live through a year with such aggressive cancer.  I can't help remembering my feelings of helplessness, and inadequacy to help him in his pain.  All there was to help were more and more drugs.  It's an unbelievable feeling that I would never want to have anyone experience.  And now, I have to have these memories.  It's hard to just hold it in and not want to tell people the nightmare of someone going through this kind of illness and death. 

I wish you all the best, and hope you keep remembering all the wonderful things about your husband! 

At 8:42pm on January 7, 2015, Roger said…
Thank you louraniah for your sweet words of encouragment. I will absolutely remember you in my prayers.
 
 
 

Latest Activity

Debbie Lynn Hallstrom commented on Karen's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Hello. My name is Debbie. I am Adrianne's Daughter. I joined this group to announce to you of her passing. She took her last breath on July 4th, 2016. She was my best friend, my better half and my person. I am not sure how to even begin to…"
3 hours ago
Debbie Lynn Hallstrom joined Karen's group
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Missing my Son or Daughter

For all of us that are suffering the loss a son or daughter.
4 hours ago
Debbie Lynn Hallstrom joined Karen's group
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I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....
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Nancy Dynes commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Theresa, I could cry for you. I'm so sorry you never had a chance to even say goodbye to your mom. I completely agree about The Lord giving us strength during this time of overwhelming grief. I'm Catholic and believe my mom is in heaven…"
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Rita commented on Karen's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Before my life changed on July 5, 2016 I was going to my Dads 3 times a week. I cooked, did his laundry, played dominoes, took him to doctor appointments, picked up prescriptions, bought his groceries and filled his pill box and whatever else needed…"
8 hours ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Nancy is right Olive seeing a physician is good, I did also. I truly believe that God is giving me strength to see me through losing my mom. I don't know if you read the beginning of my post, my mom died suddenly and unexpectedly from cardiac…"
8 hours ago
Nancy Dynes commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"My heart goes out to you, Olive. That type of anxiety is crippling. I'm glad you have a physician who is making sure your symptoms are treated. I have experienced those symptoms at a younger age after being severely injured in an automobile…"
9 hours ago
JO B replied to JO B's discussion mad at god
10 hours ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Olive, the answer is yes, I have extreme anxiety, I shake, its awful, even though it has been over a year, I did not want to take and SSRI, I practice yoga, it helps, but not enough. I was wondering if anyone else suffered from this. I pray it goes…"
10 hours ago
Olive commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi Nancy, Theresa, and Bluebell,  Thank you so very much for responding to my post.  I am so sorry for the losses of your dear moms.  I feel like I don't know how to exist in the world without her.  I have a wonderful…"
11 hours ago
JO B commented on Diana, Grief Counselor's blog post After Death Communication
12 hours ago
BLUEBELL replied to BLUEBELL's discussion Lost my Mom
"Take care too Raina. I am not having a good morning , so I am short on words. What I am hanging on to is the faith that I know it will get better and I will move on with my life. I just do not know when that will be. Maybe it will be tomorrow and…"
18 hours ago
Louise commented on Louise's blog post Can't cope
"Thank you Morgan, your support means so much to me, I was in a bad place when I wrote this. I don't really have many people to talk to; there were loads of people there for me just after he died, but everyone has drifted away. My very best…"
18 hours ago
Raina2012 replied to BLUEBELL's discussion Lost my Mom
"Being your mothers caregiver must have been hard. And now that she is gone its all different. I think maybe you should try to stay at your house. My mom and i had an apartment together and i am trying to break the lease because i cant live there. To…"
18 hours ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Nancy, what you said is true, my mom was all I had, I miss her everyday and I don't cry everyday anymore, I try not to, just when I need to.  But I try to get ahold of myself. It just feels as though this part of my heart will never…"
22 hours ago
morgan left a comment for Mary
"Mary, You have perfectly expressed the suffering of all of us who come here and are trying to manage.  How do we have any hope or get through a day?  No one has an answer.  We all just take baby steps towards what a day might hold.…"
yesterday
morgan commented on Louise's blog post Can't cope
"Louise,  Just  keep trying.  Baby steps.  Thats all any of us can do.  We keep trying to get through another day because there is only one other option which is not really desirable.  Do you have anyone who really…"
yesterday
Nancy Dynes commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi, Misty. I'm so thankful to hear your results were negative for cancer! My heart goes out to you that you couldn't have your mom by your side going through all of that. It's harder for me to share things with my dad as well, but my…"
yesterday
Nancy Dynes commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi, Olive. Theresa and I have been going through the same thing. It's almost 2 years since I lost my sweet mom. It sounds like our moms were very much alike. I still cry privately each day. I have an underlying sadness during even the happiest…"
yesterday
Rita commented on Karen's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"I haven't posted anything in a while but I come here to read stories about the losses we (mostly) Mothers are going through. Looking for answers and knowing in my heart there are none...My Jesse was 38 days away from being 38 years old. Why do…"
yesterday

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