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I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....

Members: 737
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Started by Lucinda. Last reply by Joe von Anjou Jul 27.

I am lost without her! (MOM) 12 Replies

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Song to my mom 3 Replies

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Comment by Avi on August 17, 2019 at 1:01am

Thanks all. This group is my extended family. 

Comment by M Adams on August 16, 2019 at 12:02pm

Avi, that is so lovely to hear — best wishes to her and your family!

Comment by Brett Bowman on August 16, 2019 at 11:48am

That's wonderful, Avi. Congratulations. And I wish you another 100 years with her.

Comment by Avi on August 16, 2019 at 12:57am

Hi All, 

Friends, my daughter's first bday celebration went great. She is now 1 year old and motivating force for my dad to live. My dad is able to laugh and enjoy life because of his grand daughter. Even I feel motivated to live so that I can see her grow. 

I feel gratitude to the almighty for giving me this angel. 

Comment by Theresa on August 9, 2019 at 4:58am

Brett. Like I said it my one hour of peace

than you Brett 

Comment by Brett Bowman on August 9, 2019 at 1:27am

Theresa, sitting in adoration is wonderful. It's easy to lose faith when life is kicking you in the gut. You are keeping a light burning.

Comment by Brett Bowman on August 8, 2019 at 2:03pm

We lost more than half of our class. Sometimes what a person needs is specific, and one size does not fit all. The homework just made me miserable. The first week we had to write a letter to our loved one and tell them what we miss about them. The next week we were to set a plate at the dinner table for our loved one. I don't see how any of that would help. It sure didn't help me. It just made things worse. I guess the point is to help you face what you are feeling. I needed no help there. I can understand why some therapists may not like those classes. The person who volunteers to lead the class may not be qualified to take on such a heavy subject.

The counselor I saw was no better. She would push daily affirmations. I can tell myself that I like myself all day long. That doesn't make me miss my mom any less.

What I need is to replace the love that I no longer have. That's hard to find. The day after my mom died, my girlfriend at the time, told me not to talk to my mom out loud because mom was probably in purgatory. That was a horrible thing to say. The problem is that you can't just manufacture love. You just can't pick a random person. It has to be real.

I sure do not get it from my remaining family. A couple of days after my mom died, my sister actually asked me if mom and I had ever had sex. I hung up on her. That's my family.

Comment by Brett Bowman on August 8, 2019 at 12:28pm

One of the issues that I have with almost any kind of counselor is that they are being paid. They are not emotionally invested. I guess if you find the right one you can still get some great advice, but there is something discouraging about having to pay someone to listen to you.

The grief class that I attended was through the church as well. We would meet for one hour a week and the person who ran the class would rush us through it so that it wouldn't go over an hour. Not everyone got to talk. We would go from one topic to the next too quickly. And I did realize that all of us could offer advice to the others without filter. It only takes one person who thinks his brand of pain is worse than yours to ruin a class.

All of this is why I think a real support system is so important. It would be great if the person who is there for you also loves you dearly.

Comment by Theresa on August 8, 2019 at 8:23am

Sue I went to a grief support group at my church do you know what one guy said to me and he was a surgeon when I was telling my moms story he said well what did you want she was 92 how about that I never went back

 He acted like I shouldn’t be grieving he’s there because his 26-year-old daughter died from appendicitis or pancreatitis or something I was in shock how rude he was 

Comment by Theresa on August 8, 2019 at 5:44am

Brett  I agree with you 100% the same exact thing occurred with me my friends my family for goodness sake half of my mothers family never even acknowledged her passing 

 I feel a special connection with you something has brought us to befriend each other  i’m so glad that somebody else understands how I feel anyway it’s nice to have everyone to talk to on here feels like we’re all friends but we’re so far away

 Sometimes we think why does no one else seem to understand how I feel or they’ll say to me your mother had a good life I said how do you know what kind a life my mother had I said my mom was here through the depression my mother some days didn’t have food to put on the table of course I was not born yet my brother was he told me that grandma knew how to make a lot of meals with potatoes 

 I’m so fortunate that I had my mom during the time that I did and  I was fortunate enough to have a kind and loving caring mom who I miss with every breath 

 

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Latest Activity

Joe von Anjou commented on Joe von Anjou's blog post I lost my mother in April. It hurts worse now than then
"Different today. Hurts as usual, but not like yesterday. My stress goes through the roof at the slightest change in routine. I have to break free of the pattern, the ritual, of Friday nights and Saturdays. My mother died on a Friday. But I cannot…"
8 hours ago
Profile IconJeremico Cooper, Heather and Julia Metcalfe joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
16 hours ago
Joe von Anjou commented on Joe von Anjou's blog post I lost my mother in April. It hurts worse now than then
"Today, I feel it. It has been like this every Saturday since June, since the nurse at the care home called me to notify me that I could pick up my mother's effects. My mother died in April. I am overwhelmed. I am crushed. I love you, Mom. I…"
yesterday
Joe von Anjou commented on Joe von Anjou's blog post I lost my mother in April. It hurts worse now than then
"Sixteen weeks ago today, my mother died. For some reason, I do not feel crushed today. But every Friday is going to be like this, a reminder that she is dead. Not quite the kick in the stomach reminder that she is dead that I feel when I wake up…"
Friday
Carla is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Friday
bluebird replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Yes, it is much harder for me to concentrate or focus now.  Grief, sadness, anger, despair -- they have all conspired to make it difficult for me to access my intelligence to the same degree as before my husband died.  That is, my…"
Friday
Jeff C replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Bluebird, I am glad that you took that the right way.  I had a feeling you would know what I meant.  And your description is correct:  I have a general idea of how you feel but it's impossible for me or anyone else to know…"
Friday
Luna Nightshade replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"I guess I can emphasize with the things you loved to do dying with the one you loved - as if that feeling has been pulled along, stretched thin to behind the veil. You don't have the energy to pursue them anymore, and just having something that…"
Friday

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