Comment

Comment by Danny on July 28, 2013 at 4:24pm

yes age is not a factor here Michael. Sibling issues can happen and is almost expected. The thing is I always thought this thing was more in certain cultures but i realize now this is commonplace in every country/culture.

Try your best to keep your cool and work on the grieving.

Comment by michael sandoval on July 28, 2013 at 1:56pm

Thank you Emily.

My condolences, Storyas.

The worst thing was my 62 year old brother telling me, a 51 year old man, that i should "maybe go talk to dad about it."

God Bless everyone.

Comment by Danny on July 28, 2013 at 3:12am

Yes Michael I can relate somewhat to that, although having left the country within a month after it all happened means I kind of got insulated from all this until my next visit.  Dealing with siblings can be a challenge and usually is.  Except parents, nobody is there to provide unconditional support in this world.

Comment by Eliza on July 27, 2013 at 9:26pm

Grief certainly is a roller coaster, isn't it? It's been a tough few weeks--mom's birthday, and now I'm coming up on the anniversary of her being diagnosed with cancer. I had a break down today and a feeling of, "Mom, I just miss you so much; I want to see you so much." It's been nearly 8 months. Hard to believe.

Comment by Storyas Fawnfeather on July 27, 2013 at 8:20pm

I haven't been on for a while.  I'm not going to try to go through old messages at this time.  I'll just post a message and pick up on future messages from here.  I'm gonna copy here what I posted on another group, and then I will get started again:  I have been talking to Jo (JB) on private messages, and she has been encouraging me to come back to the groups and talk.  I think I'm just now ready to do that - thank you, JB, for your support.  About six or nine months ago my husband got very sick (and he is not out of the woods yet but I think he can be okay instead of leaving me) and shortly before that my nephew got shot and died and then I'd had my dad die right before that and my Mom before him and several friends in the interim - and even though some of these deaths happened a while ago now and I should be getting over it, I got worse for a while instead of better.  I got so depressed that I just couldn't come over here and talk about it.  It was more than I could handle.  Over this summer I've had a lot of yard work and repairs and house repairs to work on, because so many things I couldn't do when I was taking care of my Dad, because I was too busy (and I'm not complaining).  I'm so depressed that when I get up to start them I'm actually angry that I have to do it when I don't feel like doing anything, and then after I start moving my body and start getting that exercise and start sweating, I start to feel better.  Then, the next day, I feel angry again that I have to even do anything until the exercise starts to lift my mood.  Yesterday I posted a bunch of pictures on Facebook of the yard work and realized how beautiful it is becoming and how lucky I am to have such a gift as a house, even if it's a small house and yard in a rough neighborhood - I'm so lucky to have it.  And, I'm so lucky that God gave me the gift of being creative and putting flowers and wind chimes and things out in a creative way to make it so beautiful.  And, I thought - I am so blessed - why am I so sad and angry?  I should be enjoying this.  And, I guess that snapped me out of it enough that I decided to come back to the groups today.  Sorry for bringing everyone down with my depression.  Thanks for listening.

Comment by Emily on July 25, 2013 at 12:38am

Michael-I re read your comment and I understand what you are saying, it was a hurtful action.

Comment by michael sandoval on July 25, 2013 at 12:20am

Thank you Emily.

It's hard to explain.  it's more the action than the object.  the object is really a representation of something else.  there are obviously other issues at work here.

God bless everyone.

Comment by Emily on July 24, 2013 at 12:05am

Yes I can. I would love to have my mom's wedding ring, but its missing. She died on Dec 27,2012. I think someone at the nursing home she was at, stole it.

Comment by Amanda on July 23, 2013 at 11:16pm

Thank you, Martha, Melissa, and Eliza.

Michael, I cannot relate to your situation, but I know that people can attach a lot of emotional significance to items. Could you tell your father and brother directly and honestly that you want the keepsake, because of what it means to you and because of your mother's wishes? Perhaps you have a keepsake that your brother would rather have? I hope that your brother would not want fight with you over an item that means more to you than to him. I also hope that, should your brother choose to keep the doll, that you in time find a way to release your emotional investment to that particular keepsake.

Comment by michael sandoval on July 23, 2013 at 2:22pm

I have an issue with my brother accepting from my dad one of my mom's most precious keepsakes.  it does not have much value, although it is an original Pinnochio Doll from her childhood.  The fact that he accepted it behind my back without even considering me, or that it was "Family" property, and that I was not told, I had to discover on my own, has left me with a great unhappiness.  I know my mother would not be pleased.  I know this for a fact.  I am so upset.

I know this sounds trivial, but the emotional suckerpunch  this has left me with has knocked the wind out of me.  can anyone relate to this?

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