Information

I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....

Members: 730
Latest Activity: on Friday

Discussion Forum

New here 3 Replies

Started by Lynn Fisher. Last reply by Brett Bowman Jul 12, 2019.

Never ending 4 Replies

Started by Betty Ellsworth. Last reply by Brenda Ann Jan 11, 2019.

Does it ever end? 5 Replies

Started by Betty Ellsworth. Last reply by Sun Oct 29, 2018.

Comment Wall

Comment

You need to be a member of I miss my Mom! to add comments!

Comment by Avi on May 14, 2019 at 1:36pm

Hi All, 

It is now 15 May in India, my mother's first death anniversary. The pain has decreased, life has moved on but the guilt has grown. 

I wish her rest in peace and all comfort in heaven. 

Comment by Avi on May 14, 2019 at 9:33am

Hi Betty, 

I wish for your comfort as guilt is a tough emotion. I am sailing in the same ship as you. 


This is Avi from India. 

Comment by Brett Bowman on May 13, 2019 at 1:49pm

Betsy, this is a tough post to answer or respond to, because I know that you have already put yourself on trial and found yourself guilty. You are not going to be consoled now. You want people to tell you that it wasn't your fault, but you will argue with anyone who does. I'm in tremendous pain myself and I do not have the energy to fight with you.

I will tell you that there is nothing in the world sadistic about a DNR. More times than not it is merciful. When a person is that sick, what they need is more important than what we need. I needed for my mom to live. Her body would not allow that. Mom had a DNR. I miss her every day. It's horrible. I sure know that I didn't kill her though. If I hadn't given her water and food, or if I had laughed when she called out to me, that would have been killing her. Did you do that? I sincerely doubt it. 

Comment by Betty Ellsworth on May 13, 2019 at 10:11am

Whoever came up with dnr. Must have been a sadistic person.  I lost my mom over three ago.  Now I'm hearing ads of cures and treatments and now have the guilt.  I keep hear the words of the doctor that I was tying his hands and I was killing her and I would be condemn. To hell.  I cry every night and I know now the doctor was right I did kill her

Comment by M Adams on May 12, 2019 at 11:43am

This Mother’s Day I keep thinking about my mother’s gift of joy ...she had a very unusual ability to appreciate things, even the simplest things, and people, and events large or small, and thereby to create joy for those around her.

Despite the sadness of loss, hope you all are able to revisit some beautiful memories today.

Comment by M Adams on May 7, 2019 at 11:03am

Sue, we are in a similar situation — this is the first Mother’s Day without my mother for me as well.  My husband’s birthday often fell on Mother’s Day, which he liked, as he loved celebrations but didn’t like them to be very focused on him.  My mother had the same quirk, so it worked out well to have shared parties or a weekend of celebration.  Very different now, but I am trying to be grateful as well as sad.

The packet of seeds that I mentioned earlier has some writing on the back that seems relevant — will try to put a photo of it here.

Comment by Brett Bowman on May 7, 2019 at 12:16am

Mother's Day is my mom's birthday. There is good and bad about being further removed from my mom's death. I remember when she died, in the days and weeks that followed I would think to myself, "In 20 years maybe I will have adjusted to this." It's going on three and a half years and the trauma of her death has abated, but one thing I regret is that my mom is not as fresh in my memory as she was. I think about her every day, but I can't hear her voice or picture her face as easily. The memories are still there but I feel further removed from them. Immediately after our moms die it is hard to accept the reality that they are gone. You just saw her. You just talked to her. It's hard to imagine saying, "Mom" and not having her answer. The second phase of grieving for your mom is when you finally know that she is gone and she is not coming back. That's a cold reality. Now it's about holding on to what I knew. M, those little green shoots you saw are important. You are keeping her memory alive.

Comment by M Adams on May 6, 2019 at 11:28pm

My mother was the heart of our family — hard to go on without her, but I appreciate the image of love continuing to flower.  At her memorial packages of seeds were given out — she loved to garden and grew beautiful roses, lilies, tomatoes, everything.  A while back I put them in a pot on the windowsill, watered them and set the pot inside a plastic bag.  This morning checked for the first time and saw some little green shoots coming up.  In a way I’m dreading Mother’s Day but this made me feel a bit closer to her.

Comment by Avi on May 5, 2019 at 11:40pm

Thanks for sharing this M Adams. I also weep remembering small small things about my mother. 

Comment by M Adams on May 5, 2019 at 10:18pm

Just came across this quotation from the wonderful British actress Miriam Margolyes.  Very devoted to both her parents, she took time away from her career to nurse her mother through illness, and later had this to say:

” [on her mother] She took centre-stage in our lives. She was the star. And when I hear pieces of music that my mother liked, I weep. I think it's true that the people you've loved in your life never leave you, because seeds of that love always remain flowering somewhere.”

 

Members (730)

 
 
 

Groups

Latest Activity

Ronald Gordon updated their profile
28 minutes ago
Sue M commented on Kar's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Hello Ammy  thank you for your message, and yes I understand at some point we all need to step back and allow ourselves to move further down our path and that constant reminders can harm us. I have felt this way at times too. Big hug to you…"
8 hours ago
Profile IconConnie ricke and rebecca wrobel joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
15 hours ago
Ammy commented on Kar's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Hello Sue M & Shirelle, I am sorry for your loss.  I know the pain well.  And like Sue said, it does get "less sharp".  I don't think it ever goes away but definitely less intense.We lost our son nine and a half…"
15 hours ago
Sue M commented on Kar's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"im sorry Shirelle, the computer changed your name to Shirley. "
yesterday
Sue M commented on Kar's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Hello Shirley, im so sorry for you and your family. I know how deep, sharp, and unimaginable this pain is. I know too how it breaks you up and your world too. It was like looking through a broken kaleidoscope for me. Nothing seemed whole, I trusted…"
yesterday
rebecca wrobel joined Jarvis's group
Thumbnail

I love my Dad.

For everyone that has lost their Dad.
yesterday
Shirelle commented on Kar's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"My son came home for 3 month then died"
yesterday
Shirelle commented on Kar's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"My son pass away Nov 25 at 936am my life has not been the same I really feel lost , empty nothing to live for but I have 3 other kids I love them more than anything I just don't know what to do please can someone help me"
yesterday
Shirelle joined Kar's group
Thumbnail

Missing my Son or Daughter

For all of us that are suffering the loss a son or daughter.See More
yesterday
Billy Jo Colt left a comment for Miriam Holmes
"Hi Miriam, You have my deepest admiration and empathy. I don't have any family left to speak of. For years there was no one to talk to about my daily life. Although I found it difficult to be open with people and preferred to help them rather…"
Saturday
M Adams commented on Miriam Holmes's blog post Healing Repetition
"Miriam, thanks for what you’ve said here, think it will be helpful to many other people here and I hope writing it down will help you as well.  What you say about the way you miss your uncle, the loss of rituals and of his expressions of…"
Saturday
Shirelle posted a status
"It will be 2 months since my son pass I'm feel do lost I'm don't want to work but have bills I don't want to talk to anyone just want to cry"
Friday
Miriam Holmes posted a blog post

Healing Repetition

An uncle in our family committed suicide.  For five years his wife, Aunt Alice, said the same things over and over again to anyone who would listen.  We are a loving family, so we listened and said the same hopefully comforting things back to her again and again.  And after five years she was done and could move on.  I hope it doesn't take five years, but I need to talk about my Uncle Jim and my cousin Paul and probably repeat myself a lot. It took a long time to develop my relationship with…See More
Friday
Katherine A Pericas Geersten commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi everyone, My name is Katherine.  I am learning how to deal with the loss of my mom, she passed away two months ago.My mom was never my best friend, but she was so much more. She made me the person that I am today and living without her has…"
Friday
Katherine A Pericas Geersten joined Karen's group
Thumbnail

I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....
Friday
Katherine A Pericas Geersten posted a discussion

Hello, a little bit about me.

Two months ago, my mom committed suicide. As of now, this has to be one of the hardest things I have ever dealt with in my life. I hope that through this forum I may be able to just reach out to someone who can kind of understand what my situation is like.My friends try to talk to me (and I do reach out to them) but I feel that the situation I am in is a really heavy thing to talk about (basically I don't want to rope my friends into my troubles, nor do I want to be a burden to them). I talk to…See More
Friday
Profile IconRonald Gordon and Dona Fiedler joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Thursday
Miriam Holmes left a comment for Dona Fiedler
"Dona, I am so sorry for your pain.  A difficult relationship like yours always leaves all sorts of conflicting feelings that are hard to sort out.  I hope that the support you receive here will help you find your way to a better place."
Thursday
Miriam Holmes left a comment for Dona Fiedler
"Hi, I'm brand new, too.  I needed some place to talk out the grief that other people don't understand and don't really want to listen to.  Hopefully, this will be a helpful place for both of us.  Whatever your loss, I…"
Thursday

© 2020   Created by Ninja.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service