Lost Without My Mom

Comment

Comment by Amanda Miller on March 11, 2010 at 10:50pm

I lost my mother on February 9, 2010 to a cardiac arrest. She was my best friend. I was blessed to be born on Mother's Day. This year is going to be the hardest birthday. It falls on mothers day this year so i made plans to go on a vacation with my boyfriend to a friends house. We are all going to do something special. I am thankful to have these two people in my life mostly to my boyfriend who is my biggest support system and to my friend for allowing me to come to her house and also because she is paying for my boyfriend and i to fly to Canada. Thank God for friends.

Comment by Dana LaPaglia on March 2, 2010 at 4:57pm

oh yes i feel that way everyday! my mom died march 09 so saturday it will a year and the pain is still the same. so if you need to talk im here.

Comment by Exodus Zusag on March 2, 2010 at 3:54pm

Hello,
My name is Dee Dee. I lost my mom, my best friend in May of 09. She died of a sudden death and I am so lost without her. I still feel her with me at times but cannot seem to get out of this perpetual funk. It seems as if it is getting more painful as the realization that it has almost been a year since her passing. It is like I am still in a haze of sorts. I work, I have kids and a husband and try to go through the motions. My motivation level as far as taking care of myself (working out etc. ) is zilch. I just don't seem to care about much these days except for caring for my kids, and husband. It is all I can seem to muster up at this point. Does anybody else feel this way? Any suggestions on how to get past this dark hole?

Thanks
Dee Dee

Comment by Dana LaPaglia on February 28, 2010 at 1:23am

tania, I also go on DailyStrength I like it better there, so If you would like to join my name there is Danamaxine. I am always available to talk if you need. I am just so messed up 2009 has been such a nightmare for me I can not even process all of it. My Daddy died 4-19-09 44 days after mom, then my Father in-law died 8-16-09 5 months later, this was too much to handle. I feel lost and I cannot find myself!

Comment by Tania Isaacs on February 28, 2010 at 1:05am

I lost my Mom on Feb. 12 at 3:35 pm. She had a very aggressive form of abdominal cancer . I just read the comment posted by Dana and I can relate to may things in the post. They do come and grab the beds as quick as they can. The things that really irritated me was, Mom was under hospice care and after she passed away I called the nurse to let them know and do whatever the needed to do. The nurse arrived with the social worker in tow and the first things the social worker said to me was " Where are the medications? Have you gathered them all up?" It was all I could do to not hit her. My mother had just died and she's worried about the morphine! I have been doing fairly well dealing with Mom's passing until 3 days ago when I thought I was strong enough to go through her clothes. I saw the dress she wore on my wedding day and the darn things still smelled like her! I just held onto it and cried. And I really haven't been able to stop crying since that day. My 4 year old son and I moved from Florida to Kentucky to help take care of her and so were are still staying in her home and she is everywhere. I am a nurse and I tried to give her the best care I was capable of but I am also struggling with the "what ifs" and the " If only I'd done ....". Thats also really getting to me. I can't help but replay eberything that has happened over this last year and I think that if I had done things differently she'd still be here. My mom and I were so very close. We talked several times a day on the phone before we moved up here with her, and I have the need to pick up the phone and dial her number and then I realize that I can't ever call her or hear her speak to me or feel her put her arms around me... so right now I am truly lost with out my beautiful Mom.

Comment by Dana LaPaglia on February 8, 2010 at 4:19pm

Hi Kristine, My Parents lived with us, so they had their own room which is still the same minus the their bed because we took that out when they got sick we had to get hospital beds, and you know they came and took those just as soon as they passed! and yes their closet is still full of all their close and what nots. My Moms clothes still smell like her the perfume she wore her scent when I go in there it takes my breath away the loss its to much! Mom also wore wigs when she didnt get her hair done and they too smell like her one time I went in the room it was dark and all I could see was the hair and it startled me for just a split second I thought my Mom was there. I am so sorry for your loss may God give you the strength that you will need. Ill say a Prayer for you.

Comment by Kirstine Rushing on February 6, 2010 at 12:15pm

My mom just passed away on Jan 22. She was 55 and never smoked a day in her life, but out of the blue got lung cancer that had spread to her bones. She was so healhty that no blood tests revealed anything wrong with her until she got a bad back ache, which turned out on the CAT scan to be the first symptom of cancer where it had moved to the bone. Her lungs were always clear. She was diagnosed almost 2 years ago and we have been on the roller coaster of ups and downs of it being in partial remission and then coming back. Sadly, she lost her battle on Jan 22 and I was there with her. At the time, I was ready for her to pass on b/c she was in diapers and unable to move it hurt so bad and she could not talk. I didn't want her to suffer anymore, but now that the finality has kicked in, I feel like that pain has transferred to my heart. I miss her more than words can describe. We are best friends, always have been and I feel so lost w/out her. Like someone else said, there is no other bond like that between a mother and a daughter. I have most of her belongings and have set up a special closet just for her at my house so I can go in and be with her things, the closet smells like her and I feel close to her. She is a Christian and so am I, so I know we will see each other again. We don't understand God's plan in all of this, but we still love him and trust him, just hard coping with being seperated from her! Thanks for listening to me ramble!

Comment by Dana LaPaglia on January 28, 2010 at 1:13am

I am so thankful that I found this website, because now I know that there are others out there who are going through the same thing, so I do not feel so weird or strange because of the way I feel. My Mom my Best Friend passed away 3-6-09 it was unexpected and to say the least tramatizing! I still to this day can not stop thinking about her death and the days leading to it. Nor can I sleep I dream about my Mom and how she had to suffer for no good reason other than her Doctor is an Idiot!! I miss her so much and my Dad who passed away 4-19-09 44 Days later! I too feel like I have no one to talk to, I am not sure anyone understands the bond between a Mother and Daughter especially if they are close which we were.

Comment by beverly ann hurst on January 22, 2010 at 8:38pm

I'm sorry for the loss of your mother.I know what you're going through.I lost my mother 5-21-09.She died from heart failure.She was only 59.I miss her so much.