Jenni H
  • Female
  • Shelbiana, KY
  • United States
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ELIZABETH K CASTELLO commented on Jenni H's blog post Light at the end of the tunnel possibly.
"Hi Jenni, I am so sorry what you are going through, you are right about not blaming God it is not his fault he loves all his children and we hurt he hurts I have to stop and think what he went through when his Son Jesus was on the cross it had to…"
Mar 3
Jenni H posted a blog post

Light at the end of the tunnel possibly.

I've been praying nightly to God. I remember when Mommy was sick, when she was in the bed. Mommy always said she was mad at God for her condition. I told her outright, "Mommy God didn't shove the cigarettes down your throat, you did that all on your own. It is your own fault you are in that bed right now." No matter how bad Mommy got, I never once blamed the Lord. I couldn't. It was like the same reasons I was overweight and morbidly obese as a young adult. I was the one who loved food. I…See More
Mar 1
Jenni H replied to Jennifer Nuss's discussion Also missing my Mom. in the group Lost Without My Mom
"Meaning, I relate to your pain. I didn't mean to sound cold, my grief has turned me into a daughter who misses her mother. I'll keep you in my prayers. <3"
Feb 25
Jenni H replied to Jennifer Nuss's discussion Also missing my Mom. in the group Lost Without My Mom
"I lived with my mother my entire life except during a failed marriage and a 2 year stint. She had a bad back until the stroke. I had to watch her in pain 24/7. She was mother first, best friend second, and soul mate forever. She died today in 2017.…"
Feb 25
Jenni H posted a status
"Mommy has been gone a year today. I swear I feel the grief as fresh as it was the day she died."
Feb 25
Jenni H posted a blog post

Totally tired of my life and lack of emotions.

My mother had a stroke in October of 2015. She changed over night due to the aphasia and brain damage. She was a new person, half of who she once was. I began grieving my mother in October. I turned of all emotion and detached myself during the caregiving. It was just way too hard for me to deal with her conditions and my father's emotions. My family are gifted with abilities, mine was empathy and third sight. Most may not believe in that stuff, but it is more than real to me due to years of…See More
Feb 17
Jenni H commented on Julie Dolsey-Weiss's group Lost Without My Mom
"My mom died on February 25, 2017. She had a stroke a year and half that rendered her paralyzed and she had aphasia. I was her caregiver. It was extremely impossible to stomach seeing my mother constantly in pain. My nerves and mental state was gone…"
Feb 16
Jenni H joined Julie Dolsey-Weiss's group
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Lost Without My Mom

My mom died, August 17, 2009 of an apparent heart attack from heart failure. Her doctors never told me how sick she was and so I was blown away and am heart sick and lost without her.
Feb 16
Jenni H updated their profile
Feb 12
Jenni H is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Feb 11

Profile Information

About Me:
I am a 40 something woman who loves Jesus and is an avid gamer. I've been divorced for 7 years now. No kids.
About my Loss:
My mother suffered a stroke in October 2015. It debilitated her to the point of paralysis with aphasia. She lived for a year and a half. I was a caregiver, along with my father. It was a long, arduous time for my family. My brother would not help us as he lived in another state. I had to watch my mother lose her personality, maturity, and her overall spirit. She cried out all hours of the day and night. She was in constant pain. She could talk and was lucid most of the time. She didn't have memory issues, but was confused about the time of day and couldn't form complete sentences due to the aphasia. I had to watch her be mean to others and say things she would have never said had she had her mind in tact. It was truly hell on earth for me. I never went anywhere and never had any respite time, I gave it all to my father. My mother was my soul mate, my best friend. She was always the bale me out of my problems type of person. I mourned her loss after the stroke and I mourned her after her death. I knew two people.. the mom who was and the mom who used to be. I'm mentally broken now. She normally was there to help me with the pieces, but now she is gone. It is hell on earth yet again. I now caregive for my father. He is alright health wise, but he is dealing with his grief too.

Jenni H's Blog

Light at the end of the tunnel possibly.

I've been praying nightly to God. I remember when Mommy was sick, when she was in the bed. Mommy always said she was mad at God for her condition. I told her outright, "Mommy God didn't shove the cigarettes down your throat, you did that all on your own. It is your own fault you are in that bed right now." No matter how bad Mommy got, I never once blamed the Lord. I couldn't. It was like the same reasons I was overweight and morbidly obese as a young adult. I was the one who loved food. I…

Continue

Posted on March 1, 2018 at 4:38pm — 1 Comment

Totally tired of my life and lack of emotions.

My mother had a stroke in October of 2015. She changed over night due to the aphasia and brain damage. She was a new person, half of who she once was. I began grieving my mother in October. I turned of all emotion and detached myself during the caregiving. It was just way too hard for me to deal with her conditions and my father's emotions. My family are gifted with abilities, mine was empathy and third sight. Most may not believe in that stuff, but it is more than real to me due to years of…

Continue

Posted on February 17, 2018 at 5:40pm

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Latest Activity

Marie D commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi Brett, I am here, still struggling with deep depression. I need your and others advice, how do you handle Mother’s Day? This will be the first one since Mom passed on Christmas Day. I am overcome with grief, and dread just thinking about…"
41 minutes ago
Madeleine replied to Madeleine's discussion What would you do if you could have your lost loved one back for just five minutes?
"Thank you - I totally agree. They never really leave us."
54 minutes ago
Madeleine replied to Madeleine's discussion What would you do if you could have your lost loved one back for just five minutes?
"Hi Morgan, I'm so very sorry for your loss and heartbreak. It makes me wonder if asking people to write to their lost one on my website is just too much for many. I really hope people's words can make readers feel less alone in their grief…"
55 minutes ago
morgan replied to Madeleine's discussion What would you do if you could have your lost loved one back for just five minutes?
"Madeleine, what would I do if I could have my husband back for just five minutes? My first reaction would be to run into his arms, hug him and then make mad passionate love like we did so many times and then I would ask him if I could take the pills…"
2 hours ago
dream moon JO B updated their profile
6 hours ago
dream moon JO B replied to Madeleine's discussion What would you do if you could have your lost loved one back for just five minutes?
"noy let go but i no ther is afrer lifess coz thy can vist us is m ush is thy need 2 esplyyy wen we need thm "
6 hours ago
dream moon JO B commented on Jesse's Mom's group Signs from Our Loved Ones
"lst 4 wks iv bean goin 2 spirtalstt churshes lot of pepepel had mesagess off lovesd 1s thy hav evn off e pepeepl it die ovr 60 or 70 or80 yrs go "
6 hours ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"My sister kept some of my mom's voicemail to her. There is no way that I could listen to it. She also took some video footage of her while she was on Hospice. Seeing those would be very painful. Like you, looking through a photo album is so…"
13 hours ago
Crystal K commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"This is just so hard and I know we are all going through it... I just wish they told me it was going to hurt this much- I would've spent every minute with my mom and learned everything about her :( "
18 hours ago
Crystal K commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Thank you Brett. I do try to honor her but it is so painful.  I attended church service yesterday. I think I did pretty well.  No unexpected outbursts. But then I came home and found an old album of photos, saw a picture of me and my mom…"
18 hours ago
AnneJ. commented on Virginia G's blog post Post traumatic stress disorder
"Virginia, personally I am convinced, looking back, that my brain put up a shield to protect my mind from the devastating scene of my husband of 20 years dropping to his death in the shower. I'm still 99% nuts and that's the truth.…"
yesterday
Madeleine posted a discussion

What would you do if you could have your lost loved one back for just five minutes?

Hi, I'm new to this site and would love to share my new project inspired by the loss of my mom 24 years ago - www.yourjustfiveminutes.com.Just Five Minutes was created to help those dealing with grief reconnect to their lost loved one, either by dreaming the impossible, or by simply reading other peoples' words who may be experiencing a similar sense of loss as you.It asks one question: 'What would you do if... came…See More
yesterday
Victoira Robinson joined Katherine Ellis's group
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Losing Someone to Cancer

This is for anyone who has lost somone to cancer. I lost my adopted Mom to breast cancer some years ago. She was everything I could have asked for. She loved me because I was just me. She also loved my family and children as if they were her own.See More
yesterday
Victoira Robinson joined Jesse's Mom's group
yesterday
Victoira Robinson joined Karen's group
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I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....
yesterday
Madeleine updated their profile
yesterday
Kelly Johnson joined Jon-Paul Ackerman's group
yesterday
dream moon JO B commented on Jarvis's blog post After Death Communication
"sum tims u bestt of goin 2 a spirtlshh churshh u r "
Sunday
dream moon JO B commented on Jarvis's blog post After Death Communication
Sunday
dream moon JO B replied to dream moon JO B's discussion mad at god
"im begin 2 lern anot o sid  i am mor thn "
Sunday

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