Jenni H
  • Female
  • Shelbiana, KY
  • United States
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ELIZABETH K CASTELLO commented on Jenni H's blog post Light at the end of the tunnel possibly.
"Hi Jenni, I am so sorry what you are going through, you are right about not blaming God it is not his fault he loves all his children and we hurt he hurts I have to stop and think what he went through when his Son Jesus was on the cross it had to…"
Mar 3
Jenni H posted a blog post

Light at the end of the tunnel possibly.

I've been praying nightly to God. I remember when Mommy was sick, when she was in the bed. Mommy always said she was mad at God for her condition. I told her outright, "Mommy God didn't shove the cigarettes down your throat, you did that all on your own. It is your own fault you are in that bed right now." No matter how bad Mommy got, I never once blamed the Lord. I couldn't. It was like the same reasons I was overweight and morbidly obese as a young adult. I was the one who loved food. I…See More
Mar 1
Jenni H replied to Jennifer Nuss's discussion Also missing my Mom. in the group Lost Without My Mom
"Meaning, I relate to your pain. I didn't mean to sound cold, my grief has turned me into a daughter who misses her mother. I'll keep you in my prayers. <3"
Feb 25
Jenni H replied to Jennifer Nuss's discussion Also missing my Mom. in the group Lost Without My Mom
"I lived with my mother my entire life except during a failed marriage and a 2 year stint. She had a bad back until the stroke. I had to watch her in pain 24/7. She was mother first, best friend second, and soul mate forever. She died today in 2017.…"
Feb 25
Jenni H posted a status
"Mommy has been gone a year today. I swear I feel the grief as fresh as it was the day she died."
Feb 25
Jenni H posted a blog post

Totally tired of my life and lack of emotions.

My mother had a stroke in October of 2015. She changed over night due to the aphasia and brain damage. She was a new person, half of who she once was. I began grieving my mother in October. I turned of all emotion and detached myself during the caregiving. It was just way too hard for me to deal with her conditions and my father's emotions. My family are gifted with abilities, mine was empathy and third sight. Most may not believe in that stuff, but it is more than real to me due to years of…See More
Feb 17
Jenni H commented on Julie Dolsey-Weiss's group Lost Without My Mom
"My mom died on February 25, 2017. She had a stroke a year and half that rendered her paralyzed and she had aphasia. I was her caregiver. It was extremely impossible to stomach seeing my mother constantly in pain. My nerves and mental state was gone…"
Feb 16
Jenni H joined Julie Dolsey-Weiss's group
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Lost Without My Mom

My mom died, August 17, 2009 of an apparent heart attack from heart failure. Her doctors never told me how sick she was and so I was blown away and am heart sick and lost without her.
Feb 16
Jenni H updated their profile
Feb 12
Jenni H is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Feb 11

Profile Information

About Me:
I am a 40 something woman who loves Jesus and is an avid gamer. I've been divorced for 7 years now. No kids.
About my Loss:
My mother suffered a stroke in October 2015. It debilitated her to the point of paralysis with aphasia. She lived for a year and a half. I was a caregiver, along with my father. It was a long, arduous time for my family. My brother would not help us as he lived in another state. I had to watch my mother lose her personality, maturity, and her overall spirit. She cried out all hours of the day and night. She was in constant pain. She could talk and was lucid most of the time. She didn't have memory issues, but was confused about the time of day and couldn't form complete sentences due to the aphasia. I had to watch her be mean to others and say things she would have never said had she had her mind in tact. It was truly hell on earth for me. I never went anywhere and never had any respite time, I gave it all to my father. My mother was my soul mate, my best friend. She was always the bale me out of my problems type of person. I mourned her loss after the stroke and I mourned her after her death. I knew two people.. the mom who was and the mom who used to be. I'm mentally broken now. She normally was there to help me with the pieces, but now she is gone. It is hell on earth yet again. I now caregive for my father. He is alright health wise, but he is dealing with his grief too.

Jenni H's Blog

Light at the end of the tunnel possibly.

I've been praying nightly to God. I remember when Mommy was sick, when she was in the bed. Mommy always said she was mad at God for her condition. I told her outright, "Mommy God didn't shove the cigarettes down your throat, you did that all on your own. It is your own fault you are in that bed right now." No matter how bad Mommy got, I never once blamed the Lord. I couldn't. It was like the same reasons I was overweight and morbidly obese as a young adult. I was the one who loved food. I…

Continue

Posted on March 1, 2018 at 4:38pm — 1 Comment

Totally tired of my life and lack of emotions.

My mother had a stroke in October of 2015. She changed over night due to the aphasia and brain damage. She was a new person, half of who she once was. I began grieving my mother in October. I turned of all emotion and detached myself during the caregiving. It was just way too hard for me to deal with her conditions and my father's emotions. My family are gifted with abilities, mine was empathy and third sight. Most may not believe in that stuff, but it is more than real to me due to years of…

Continue

Posted on February 17, 2018 at 5:40pm

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Latest Activity

Lori is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
3 hours ago
Emily joined Megan's group
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Grieving Teens

This group is for anyone who lost their parents at a young age. I lost my dad to cancer a week before the start of my senior year. It's been difficult. Quite frankly it sucks. Lets join together and get through this crappy time.
18 hours ago
Emily joined Jarvis's group
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I love my Dad.

For everyone that has lost their Dad.
18 hours ago
Profile IconElizabeth Monroe, Marion Mcglashon, Bandar killa and 1 more joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
yesterday
Robin H left a comment for Robin H
"Hey There People, most of the comments look kinda old here... Are they?"
Tuesday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Lia, losing your mom is hard enough. When you also lived with her that takes it to a whole different level because you didn't experience the natural separation that other adults do. That's sure what happened to me. I lived with my mom and…"
Monday
Profile IconCorinne C. Rico, Rita A M, Marisa L Galeoti and 1 more joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Monday
Louise Grady updated their profile
Monday
Lia Lynch commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Thank you everyone. My mom had refused to see doctors for seven years; she feel ill, finally went, was diagnosed with Stage IV metastasized cancer in her throat, lung, and liver, went directly to hospice, and died less than 4 weeks from the initial…"
Monday
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi Lia,  So sorry for your loss.  Similar to others, I can understand your pain. I wish comfort to you but I know it is not easy. Please take your time.  All people, I was travelling so could not post for long. This is to tell that I…"
Monday
Geri commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"Hi Everyone, This Friday 21st September will be our 27th wedding anniversary. It is my first without my husband and I've noticed my anxiety peaking and I'm back to waking every hour. Has anyone got any advice of how to cope with all the…"
Monday
Ofir Rifo replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Thank you Layla Richards. I was very religious before my husband died, Then after his death I started searching why we have to go thru such pains and was looking into everything. Then after reading the Bible, the Torah, the Koran and more religious…"
Monday
Linda Engberg commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"Hi Pamela, So sorry about the lost of your Husband, it has been 5 years and to be truthful things are not any better. We were very close, he was my rock, now I am nothing."
Sunday
Suzy Tatz commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"I am new to this. I lost my dad June 7 2018 to lung cancer and my fiancé on Aug. 6. 2018 to colon cancer. I was caretaker to both and now I can’t stand being in my own skin. I have the panic feelings when I am alone. So I have been self…"
Sunday
Suzy Tatz joined Katherine Ellis's group
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Losing Someone to Cancer

This is for anyone who has lost somone to cancer. I lost my adopted Mom to breast cancer some years ago. She was everything I could have asked for. She loved me because I was just me. She also loved my family and children as if they were her own.See More
Sunday
Layla Richards replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"That is some great advice Ofir Rifo. Also, bluebird, something that helped me a lot was reading through the thousands of stories contributed by individuals who had a near-death experience or received an after death communication from a passed loved…"
Sunday
Ofir Rifo replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"ANA BECOAH BY ovadia chamama. Miracle prayer even for those who do not believe in anything. It will act as a password and will open the universe who will answer your petition. Please bluebird just try the same way a tried and it worked. Remember you…"
Sunday
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Lia I am so sorry for your loss. Bluebell"
Sunday
Ofir Rifo replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Bluebird please go to you tube in listen to a song called Ana Becoh by Ovadiada Chamama. This song will act as a password to the universe. You do not need to believe in any religion but It worked for me and I am an agnostic. I lost my husband 21…"
Sunday
Ofir Rifo replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Hello Bluebird. I always remember you and wonder how you are doing since the last time I wrote to you for the first time when I found this blog. It has been a while and I was hoping by this time you were doing better. Please understand that you will…"
Sunday

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