I'm a thirty four year old female. My primary interests are in writing and education. I appreciate beautiful scenery, finding reasons to laugh and make others laugh, listening to music I like, having good conversations, and losing myself in fictional worlds. I struggle with all kinds of challenges, and my Mom has been a constant source of help and support to me through my entire life. Through all kinds of tough times, my Mom has always been there, always been the person I have felt safest and most comfortable with, right up until the day she unexpectedly died.
My mother and I had always been close, especially since my father passed away almost two years ago. My father was thirteen years older than my mother, and he died a slow, painful, dignity-robbing sort of death. It was a hard loss, but I had my mother, and we supported each other through his illness and death. Now, I've lost my mother too, and with no warning. I have no siblings, and I'm unmarried with no children.
About my Loss:
My mother's body was just found on February 6th, 2016. I had spoken to her the previous night, and she seemed fine. She always checks in with a good morning email to me, and that day, she did not send one. I called her cell and landline repeatedly. When there was no response. I called 911. They found her on the couch, not breathing, no pulse. I don't know how or why this happened. I've never felt this empty, lost and afraid. I don't know how to live in this world without my mother.
According to the autopsy, she had bad heart disease. She had high blood pressure, and three very clogged arteries. We had no idea anything at all was wrong with her heart.
The above picture is of my Mom and me on December 31st, 2015. We were at our favorite Barnes and Noble, and sad that that location would be closing that day. We knew that was our last chance to go to that Barnes and Noble together. We assmed we'd still have many more years together. We never imagined that my mother had just a little over a month left to live at the time this photo was taken.
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"Strike those vacations below, they'll never be another one. Went on a memorial cruise with my daughter and family four months after she passed because she was so looking forward to it. It hurt enough to know they'll be no more."
"Yes Elynn, the loneliness. That's painful. They're not here and always was. Our best friend, lover, and most precious thing we had. We were lucky enough to spend the last 8 1/2 years together, joined at the…"
"Every day for me is the same day she passed. Not a joyful or even an ok moment. I spend a little time with the children and grands and do my best to hide my emotions, but they all know how I am inside, even the youngest grand at age 4…"
"Avi, I don't know if we can rethink our emotions that way. Our emotions are what they are, although reason can help us form our emotions and hopefully change them for the better. I don't know if my mom can hear me or not. I certainly…"
"How are you all doing?
I had bad last 2 days. Felt lot of guilt and cried. There were some moments which made me remember my mother.
Also I hear comforting words by a lady that people who have gone from this world can still feel your…"
"I wonder how i am managing. Not well and to be onest today I wanted to just set a date with death. I am approaching seven years of being without him and though I function towards the outside world better and my crying has lessened but at the…"
If you have lost a loved one to alcohol, substance abuse or suicide please share your story or feelings here. Share the love and beauty of the one you lost. Losing someone any of these ways is not natural and can be hard to understand and ask why? I lost my Mother to an overdose 9 years ago. She also suffered from major depression. Her doctor got her hooked on pain medication and she was addicted most of my life. These doctors who were suppose to help her ended up killing her in the end. I also…See More
"I am very sorry to hear about your Mom passing. I lost my Mother to an overdose 9 years ago and just my identical twin sister last month to an overdose. My mother and I were not as close as I would have liked. The disease kept her depressed and…"