I am a wife, a mother of two, and a grandmother of three. I love Jesus, my family, hard work and making others happy!
About my Loss:
I lost my dad August 17th 2012. I also recently lost my mom on August 24th 2013. As an only child, I feel so much pain, as we were so close and her battle was an all too short one. My dad had cancer for a much longer period. In all, I have watched my grandma, mom and dad become ravaged and ultimately die from cancer. My mom was my best friend, my confidant and my biggest supporter. There is a piece of me that is missing now that my mom is gone. I am not even 50 and both my parents are gone!
Are You a Service Provider? If Yes, please tell us about your service.
Yes, I cared for my mom along with help from my young adult children. As I was her only child. I reduced my work hours from full time to part time and less to care for my mom, until she passed.
"Bluebell, it was nice to put a face to a name. I always have these pre conceived notions of what I think people will look like. With you, it's the name, I saw you as having blue hair and cat glasses. I was wrong on this one. "
I was really scared to get up there, but I am glad I did. Not everyone here has this type of Celebration of Life. But my sister's husband was very involved in the well being of his neighborhood and also loved a good get together at his…"
"On the topic of suicide, there are two reasons that I have not contemplated taking my own life. One of them is that I cannot allow myself to leave my loved ones to deal with the trauma and heartbreak if I were to commit suicide. In my opinion, it…"
Very sorry to hear that you are having another anxiety-filled day. Lately, I am having more of the depression attacks, with more frequency and more intensity. This living hell is just unbearable! When will this all end?
I have noticed lately that i am having dreams with re-occuring theams.
my wife leaving (though some circumstance) and having greater responsibilities to look after others..
are other experiencing dreams with constant theam's ?
"Another morning waking with anxiety that feels like it is choking me. Missing my husband with an ache inside that I cannot explain. If only cancer didn't exist or there was a cure, my beloved would still be here."
I never thought that I would be a widow in my forties. My friends can't relate and feel the need to comment on everything, even if they have no experience with grief. I know they mean well but only we know what we are going though.See More
"I don't agree -- if there is an afterlife, I WILL be with my husband there, no matter how I die. I will tear the afterlife apart to be with him, if that is what I have to do.
I don't believe in God, but if there is one, if it is a loving…"
I agree with you, my Lutheran religion has taught if I take my own life I will not join My Husband in heaven. The only way I go on is that we are not widowed, still married only he is in Heaven and I am in Hell. "
"My heart goes out to you all. Grief is the hardest pain in the world. A few things I saw in your comments made me want to share.
Vickie, grief is still new for you and the early part is impossibly hard. My husband died at 49…"
"I lost my husband 7 moths ago and he was my soul mate my everything. I am so lost without out him. I don't know what to do. All I do is cry. How long will I just want to die cuz I'm without out him. His b day is today he would have been 53…"
"That is so hard to do. My mom would tell me that she wanted me to be happy after she was gone. I would say, "Mom, how happy would you be if I were the one who was dying?" She couldn't answer that question. Who knows? Maybe if I had…"
"If we each go every detail of our lives with our mothers, each one of us will find ample reason to feel guilty. But what would be the point? None of us would be on this site if we didn't love and miss our mom's with all of our…"