Comment

Comment by Bill Smith on March 13, 2016 at 4:51pm

Michael, after that much time I suspect this is not "normal," but I wouldn't get too wrapped up in that.  I would see a doctor as it's possible there are physical reasons unrelated to your grief.  Best to you

Comment by Michael Thompson on March 13, 2016 at 4:06pm

Hi Morgan, when you say you experienced nausea the entire time.  How long is that ?

Comment by morgan on March 12, 2016 at 1:15am

Michael,  I know you had asked this once before and even then I meant to answer but never got up the energy.  But yes, I have experienced nausea the entire time and it comes mainly after eating so I have learned to eat much smaller meals and am now down to eating very little.  It has gotten a bit better in the intensity of the feeling although periodically there are times I really feel like its going to overcome me.  

I think I mentioned it to someone else at one point or read about it somewhere and I gather it is attributable to the stress induced anxiety of our thoughts. I suppose for me, following food intake is when my stomach needs to act and if my thoughts are occupying the space in my brain that my stomach would want to send signals to my digestive system, they decide to fight it out.  

SO is it normal?  I think to a certain extent it is. I never had it before. I was content.  Nothing to stress me out.  Now I gauge my every move in order to avoid upset.  So yes, I think it is directly related to losing the love of our life. My body and brain don't like anything about this.

morgan

Comment by dream moon JO B on March 11, 2016 at 3:37pm

all  i no its evil big c

im goin thru angry stag thn i fall off step 1 wear i cnt clim it 2 num 2 clim it u cud say

on hear i can yell lass ort on hear no tells me off or 2 get f ovr it wish we cnt 

i no evrys pane is lk evry 1 esle on hear

Comment by Michael Thompson on March 11, 2016 at 3:34pm

Hi everybody.  Its almost 16 months since I lost my wife to bowel cancer after 22 years of marriage.  I find I am still suffering bouts of nausea after all this time. Is this normal ?

Comment by carma on March 2, 2016 at 4:20pm

cancer is just awful..........And I have to say that I don't like the hospice places..I feel like they made him die with the morphine.....my dad seemed to go into remission for awhile and then it spread more.....I miss him so much....

Comment by kathleen akin on February 19, 2016 at 9:44am

Hi Anita. Yes, same thing with Rocky. His skin doesn't hurt, but his muscles and bones and seems like everything hurts. So hugging is out of the question. He used to be so big and strong...I loved the feel of those huge shoulders and arms wrapped around me. Now he stoops over and his muscles are gone. I think I'm probably stronger than he is now. And I'm taller too because he doesn't stand tall anymore. His face is so thin. He almost never smiles. His eyes are so vacant and he acts so confused over the simplest thing. This part has come on so fast that I'm not handling it very well.

We do have hospice and his regular doctor here in our town is in charge of it. I just don't know at what point we have this set up, how it works...  Rocky can still take care of himself as far as dressing, cooking soup or making a sandwich. He can eve drive to the doctor (we live in a very small town) but I'm starting to really worry about him doing that. I am so scared he's going to nod off at a stop light and get arrested due to driving under the influence of pain meds and everything else that makes him sleepy. He won't agree with anything I say or want. We end up fighting about it all the time.

Did you use hospice and at what point did you have them become involved? We are going to the Huntsman (cancer hospital in Utah) on the 11th of next month and I'm going to ask the Dr then.

What you said about your husband turning inward, that's exactly what Rocky is doing. My son had leaukemia when he was 8, and during the part of his treatment that was really harsh, he did that too. He survived and is now 37, married with 2 kids. but when he was going through chemo and radiation, he was so sick and did the same turning inward behavior that Rocky is doing now. He doesn't think he is, but he is. So it's rather lonely living with him now. Hardly any companionship or enjoyment in our lives. I think, unless there is a miracle, this is the sliding down to the end. And I'm doing my own sliding down.

Well, thank you for putting up with my rambling. It's just that everyone here knows what I mean. you all Get It. That's a comfort to me. Thank you.

Comment by Anita Jeffery on February 18, 2016 at 5:44pm

It's good that you talk with him about death.  He sounds very much like my husband was.  He was my best friend, and I don't say that lightly.  We spent 34 years together, and sometimes there were bad days, months, etc.  He travelled a great deal for work, and I do think that ultimately that made me stronger.  But I was terrified to be without him.  I tried not to let him know.  I knew he was more worried about me then about himself.  One of the hardest things was that the extremely harsh chemo that they use for Pan. Cancer made his skin so sensitive and he would feel terrible pain and I couldn't even touch him.  Probably the last 3 months I couldn't stroke his arm, or hug him.  It makes me so sad right now just thinking how much I wanted to comfort him and couldn't.  I believe as you say about Rocky that my sweet Robert was starting into his own world, and that people who are so extremely ill turn inside and begin to mentally let the illness take them where we can't go.  In the end, I just wanted him to be out of the physical and mental pain he had been in.  I wonder, do you have hospice care yet?

Comment by kathleen akin on February 18, 2016 at 5:27pm

Hi Anita. I talk to Rocky about death a lot. Probably too much. I'm too open and I say what I think, I can't hold it in. I worry, worry, worry, what am I going to do without him. Just the idea of him not being there at night scares me. I'm a sleep walker and have scary, vivid dreams and it's always nice to reach over and feel him laying there next to me. When he's gone I don't know what I will do. There will be no one to look after me. I know that I sound selfish and I tell him all the time. It's his fault for taking such good care of me. I don't know how to do it myself. I will have to learn. That's the kind of stuff I wish we knew ahead of time. maybe if I had been around death more I would know what to do, but for some reason he is going to be the first person I am really close to die. And it's getting close and I don't feel ready. I pray constantly...I need more time! I don't think I'm going to get it. He's so confused and weak and deteriorating.  It's hard to watch. I feel angry that it's happening to him. I don't know who to be mad at. so sometimes I'm mad at him. I fight it. I try to act like everything is the same and he's not sick. But he really is...and it's close.

Comment by Anita Jeffery on February 18, 2016 at 5:12pm

I'm with you Kathleen on the issue of the shock and inability to accept that a loved one will die.  I even talked to my husband, although it felt difficult to discuss his coming death with him, about how our society doesn't really prepare us for death.  Other countries, even 3rd world countries seem to have particular traditions...even extreme ones.  But it makes you wonder if maybe we were able to let go and scream and cry and perform some ritual, if we would be better off.  I will never accept that my husband was taken by such a horrible disease, and it's difficult to understand how my husband's mother, who has been extremely ill for many years (like 20!), has heart problems, kidney problems, etc. turned 82 last December.  It comes back to the issue of life not being fair.  I ask myself still, 13 months later, WHY?

• ‹ Previous
• 1
• …
• 20
• 21
• 22
• 23
• 24
• …
• 209
• Next ›
• Page