Silvia maria's Blog (50)

How do we treat ourselves....?

Here is a reality check I was faced with very recently. I had to take vitamins after my doctors persistent advice and I got a few extra pounds. Nothing much but enough to bring bullying from a very unlikely source. A friend that recently separated, a guy who insisted to say every single time he saw me that I was FAT. Even though most my friends would say the complete opposite. That I look healthier. In fact was so many times I heard from the same friend (also my neighbour) that I came to the…

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Added by silvia maria on July 16, 2017 at 8:30am — No Comments

Patterns of thinking...how do we change? HEALING

It´s not easy to trade old patterns for new ones. THere is something to be said about comfort zone, and how we resort to that when anything is outside what we know or we think it should go. Takes so much effort to make where we are remotelly OK, that it´s peaceful achieved only by slowing down the thinking and allowing ourselves just to be. But all in all...how do we make a shift into the new things with the calm and peace we need? HEALING takes time, and there is so much effort that will…

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Added by silvia maria on July 4, 2017 at 12:21pm — No Comments

Remember this...KARMA is a bitch. Don´t do to others what you wouldn´t like done to you!

Here am I taking care of my life outside the crap realms of most HUMAN UNKINDNESS. You probably kniow what I think about dating...pathetic exercise, the right person will show and unless you trust God you may spend a life time trying with the wrong ones....you know how that goes. What goes around comes around. Anyhow. My dad had to travel and sent my oldest sister to the mall with me to help me buy a cell he is giving me as a gift. So although it´s an unlikely company since all the…

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Added by silvia maria on June 27, 2017 at 2:05pm — No Comments

Remember this...KARMA is a bitch. Don´t do to others what you wouldn´t like done to you!

Here am I taking care of my life outside the crap realms of most HUMAN UNKINDNESS. You probably know what I think about dating...pathetic exercise, the right person will show and unless you trust God you may spend a life time trying with the wrong ones....you know how that goes. What goes around comes around. Anyhow. My dad had to travel and sent my oldest sister to the mall with me to help me buy a cell he is giving me as a gift. So although it´s an unlikely company since all the…

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Added by silvia maria on June 27, 2017 at 2:00pm — No Comments

Definition of MOVING ON

To a lot of people MOVING ON means something TANGIBLE. Such as a new relationship, new job, or new YOU. Well I´d say the true MOVING ON DEFINITIOn is so very far from the TANGIBLE. It´s more like cracking, dive in the dumps of self, craving what isn´t where we look for anything. It´s a dark place where light enters gradually and not as easy as it seems. Anyone can have a new relationship....but not everyone can have a new relationship with SELF trully emerging out at once. It´s not…

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Added by silvia maria on June 26, 2017 at 2:13pm — No Comments

Shifting the GRIP to LIFE PATTERNS

It´s when we realize that no one can reach us but ourselves, that we realize that what we dislike the most in others are just part of ourselves that must be improved. I know it looks cliche. Like something we heard but its easier said than done. Because the traits we dislike is not the traits we dislike in ourselves, of course we aren´t alike in so many ways, but the general pattern of what we attract do show fear motivation in parallell, perhaps not in ways we can see in a first glance.…

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Added by silvia maria on June 26, 2017 at 8:00am — No Comments

Moving on ia by all means an ALONE process

I find that anyone getting too close when you are trying to pick up the pieces is more damaging than beneficial. And that is because in their hopes and aspirations for us they TRAP US in the outcome suitable or perhaps minimal acceptable by them. Excuse me, but with my full mindset barely knowing where and how I am going, I rather keep an open mind where this all will arrive, Sometimes its more like a roller coaster just as is pushing myself up and doing a thing at a time, the uncertain is…

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Added by silvia maria on June 25, 2017 at 8:30pm — No Comments

Taking refugee of this shallow world...is a MUST sometimes

So here is my situation. I an attractive woman well versed about many topics and a writer of excellence in the cience wich is largeli a choice of a INTROSPECTIVE PERSON. Faced with LOTS male attraction. Sometimes I find myself in struggles that aren´t my own at all, Such as dates and craps that comes with lots of MALE attention that do anything BUT HAVE my FULL ATTENTION. Mostly because its shallow. At times some expect me to be AVAILABLE all times just because I am sick. Of course there are…

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Added by silvia maria on June 25, 2017 at 7:23pm — No Comments

how does it feel to be no longer a caretaker?

Ok so after so much debate around the mother issue since her caretakin was taken over by my elder sister in a very aggressive move...here we are now. I refuse to visit because meeting the conditions to visit are pathetic to say the least. I am suppose to go to a clinic and don´t correct any negligence I see after registrering and sending to police. Holy crap, hell no. Then sister was suppose to change place but never did. THen she was suppose to arrange mother to visit here and also never…

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Added by silvia maria on June 17, 2017 at 10:17am — No Comments

taking responsibility vs NO GUILT

It´s funny how life is. When we deal with pressures it´s all bad news. It´s the rebel that gets quiet or puts up a fight....we give back in more than anyone deserves any good or crap. Because that energy is needed to go forward, and sometimes it´s an inside the mind process. In everyone´s lives come a time to separate self from everybody else. And although relationships are welcome they tend to freeze in whatever they know of us. And came to expect so little and most times we are down we…

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Added by silvia maria on June 9, 2017 at 3:31pm — No Comments

Mountain everest climbing....and yet some are eager to ask for MORE.

Here is my situation. I have broken ribs and trying to keep up the best I can with my obligations and god nows how hard it is. So here I find myself fighting for my own health and my family health, and there is this aunt that engages in a conversation with me that is DISTURBING to say the least. She was questioning my trip to a lawyer versus a trip to the hospital to see my mother. Yeah, I wonder how much she wants my body, my pain, and MY LIFE and having to comre across this nonsense. She…

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Added by silvia maria on June 5, 2017 at 11:32am — No Comments

When life doesn´t go MY WAY

Ok that´s odd. I have 3 fractured ribs. My drs and I had a hard time to grap the motive, a simple fall from my own height for a medicine peak of low blood pressure. What is even more amazing is how the people around us react when we don´t know what´s wrong but know there is suffering and pain. You know the type....the types of people who think she must be exagerating, or pitiful for a second or regretting their own attitude. What does it say about them? I think that´s why we feel like wild…

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Added by silvia maria on May 27, 2017 at 12:00pm — No Comments

How should we FEEL???

Mamazing that many people think they should have a vote to what´s not theirs to start with. FEELINGS, I think each and every human being is entitled to the FULL RANGE of their own feelings. And I wonder when people tell us how to feel...if I get a vote back to jump out their crap...or tell them what I feel about thir standards of whatever is the NORM. Reality is we all feel hurt, lonely, happy, wonderful, ugly, pretty, crying, laughing...you know, just the whole human range, but there is a…

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Added by silvia maria on May 20, 2017 at 10:58am — No Comments

Living LIE....so tempting isn´t it?

I guess coming out of hell looks like everyone has a routine in life much like varius channels in one tv, none of which we can relate. Human race can be inhospitable. And we want to join, and believe in a channel here and there, but none of it sounds like true deeper inside. It´s like watching a dance whereas we are pretending to know the steps but couldn´t care less about doing it, taking part. Relationships are like a bubble and inside lives another being and the best I feel like getting…

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Added by silvia maria on May 18, 2017 at 10:24am — No Comments

The hidden PLACE in time and space inside my MIND

I think it´s safe to assume the mind holds the best refugee camp in the world, like an oasis to the desert. SOmetimes we forget time and space in this inside trip. And brings the same outwards. When we feel opressed or pushed or in any stress event, that hidden place seems like the only heaven we can have on earth. And times like this we connect to the people and events searching for some deeper meaning to make sense of it all. In my case it´s being nothing easy to sort out what is…

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Added by silvia maria on May 17, 2017 at 11:50pm — No Comments

Travel LIGHT

I think that most of us being through the craps of life in 2st person, 2nd, 3rd or all 3 at same time; can use a little less weights to carry. Keeping the relationships light or as light as possible, responsibilities down to the basics and not buying into any additional drama can do a lot more good than we think. The tendency is to see all life from a suffering lens in a forever horizon, or alternatively just svery short ter makes feel a little better type of thing. It can be common to enter…

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Added by silvia maria on May 17, 2017 at 3:38pm — No Comments

HOLIDAYS what a trip

So tomorrow was mother´s day, I wasnt feeling well at all and treated for back pain. While it was raining outside, conditions not favourable for any venturing out. I had bought a card for mother´s day and a rose. As I went past by them in the way in and out the kitchen, the HOLIDAY bug would try it´s GUILT trip. I had called my youngest sister and she didn´t want to go see my mother either. Since my sister too the care from me it has been so much hell to see or mother, that we came to grips…

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Added by silvia maria on May 14, 2017 at 8:26pm — No Comments

PROCRASTINATION...

Procrastination is the ultimate REBEL inside us all. It´s the defying of time and the so many obligations that life imposes to us. I know procrastination here is at it´s best when LIFE has lost most meaning and that fire inside is null. It´s as if the rest of the world makes a clock to go in circles and we want out SILENTLY. It´s a plase to refuge quile refuting the purpose of the clocks. It´s a statement of stuck with the feeet right where the mind is, STILL. Looking for peace to coexist…

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Added by silvia maria on May 12, 2017 at 8:37am — 1 Comment

t´s all about THEM and never about THEM

Indeed life is interesting. The people hanging out have much to say about where WE ARE. Not because they are all good or bad, they are just BEING THEM and focusing in their BELLY BUTTON. It´s human nature, that´s all. What happens over time that makes some of them OLD NEWS, is that we grow out the need to have them. In fact whatever we most admired became a new stepping stone inside SELF. It´s not about COMPETITION, it´s about looking at mirrors and trying to cope with what looks not well…

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Added by silvia maria on May 7, 2017 at 12:22pm — No Comments

SOCIETY made a REBEL out of me...THANK YOU!

THere is no way to come out from a loss not feeling STRONGER WITHIN. THere is no EASY way out, there is a swim against all human crap and a LOT of digging DEEP WITHIN. The hurt opens wounds that EXPOSE the SOUL with a MEANING that most won´t ever get. And we come to this point whereas we don´t have to BELONG to what is not improvement. We can let go the weights HOLDING BACK. Tired and done with the crawling and spreading the wings. Its all an inside job anyhow. We just go where our MIND…

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Added by silvia maria on May 7, 2017 at 12:00pm — No Comments

Latest Activity

Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Bluebell, our moms wanted all kinds of things for us. They wanted us to always eat our vegetables, to never get mixed up with bad influences, etc. Don't beat yourself up because you are grieving. You wouldn't be human if you didn't…"
49 minutes ago
Nancy replied to Richard Rivera's discussion FINALLY LOSING IT
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1 hour ago
Karen Wilson posted a blog post

Lost my Son -only child in March of this year

Hello -My name is Karen.  I lost my only son at 22 years of age in a car accident in March of this year. I am doing "okay" considering.  I have strong bouts of intense grief on and off and of course I miss and long for him daily. It really just SUCKS! I have surrounded my self with a support group and a Psychotherapist.  I have also started to explore my Spirituality and looking for unanswered to questions to my existence and purpose.  I welcome anyone that would like to share their experience…See More
2 hours ago
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Really rough morning. I pray for some relief. This is not what my Mom would have wanted for me.  Bluebell"
2 hours ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Theresa, it's horrible that someone would say, "It's not the end of the world" to you. That is cold. I am so sorry. Your mother in law... again, I am so sorry. You deserve better than that. We all do."
2 hours ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I hate to use the word resentment because I have enough on my plate right now. It takes energy to resent people. Negative energy. There is already too much of that in my life. The really hard part is that I got so much unconditional love from my…"
2 hours ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett yes it can ruin relationships, I wont say who, but I was mentioning that I thought it was odd that a friend did not even call or send me a card when my mom passed, the person I was talking to said "its not the end of the world", this…"
5 hours ago
Jenn updated their profile
5 hours ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Love is an amazing thing. There are times when I think that my mom has all the love that I have to offer, but there is always room for one more person. Even hundreds more.   people. "
13 hours ago
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"My heart is also with each one of you. Hugs and love to you all Bluebell"
14 hours ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"One of the things that makes me feel very guilty (here) is that I do not want to discourage anyone who is making progress. I don't want to bring them down into the pit with me. I realize that there are people who may have recently come to this…"
14 hours ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Bluebell and Brett we are all different we all grieve in different Ways some people grieve for shorter periods of time some people for longer I remember after my mother passed away I went to church they had a special mass with several priest from…"
14 hours ago
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I am becoming more of a functioning mess. I am able to see patient's now. I sleep a lot better. I try to exercise and socialize on a regular basis. But I have days when the sense of loss and sorrow is so overwhelming, that all I can do is cry…"
15 hours ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Janie, of course you love your mom, and my mom certainly would not want for me to grieve the way that I do. I would not have wanted my mom to grieve my death this way. But I have to be honest about my feelings and my grief. Most of all I have to be…"
17 hours ago
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Bluebird, I always say we too. It is not just I because he lives in Heaven."
18 hours ago
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Jackie Cook It's been 4 years since I lost my Husband, it will always be us not me. "
18 hours ago
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"John T. I am surprised that I am still alive after losing my Husband 4 Years ago, I just go day to day hoping one day won't wake up."
18 hours ago
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
18 hours ago
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
18 hours ago
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Jennifer, Don't feel bad about not standing happy couples and family, It has been 4 years and I still feel that way. I just can't get over losing my kind, wonderful, Husband."
18 hours ago

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