Ok that´s odd. I have 3 fractured ribs. My drs and I had a hard time to grap the motive, a simple fall from my own height for a medicine peak of low blood pressure. What is even more amazing is how the people around us react when we don´t know what´s wrong but know there is suffering and pain. You know the type....the types of people who think she must be exagerating, or pitiful for a second or regretting their own attitude. What does it say about them? I think that´s why we feel like wild animals hiding in the cage to lick the wounds by ourselves so nobody else comes dumping their usual crap on top of what´s aready crap. Yes, indeed. Human race is quite something else, isn´t it? Just the day before I knew for a fact what was wrong with this much pain, my sister was all over my face here trying to take my car for a joy ride. Trying all her ususl bulshit and my father buying it beautifully. But life and God has it´s own ironic ways to get back and didn´t take long at all. While my dad and I were trying to have a peaceful coffee, she was jumping in the conversations like there is no tomorrow thinking she could push all my buttons to give her my car. Probem is been there done that, I let her use all she wanted my previous vehicle which was way cheaper mantainance than this and I remember all too well where the bills to fix went...to me in bedrest while NOT DRIVING at all. So I LEARNED. Now the car is bedrest with me and that´s it. My father and I tried to dismiss her conversations and she was all over the place lie a 5 yr old wanting candy. ABUSIVE. It´s hard t believe she is 4 years older than me and 20 yrs less mature. People are crazy. Offering money to take care of my mother calling it OPPORTUNITY holy macarony of crap. I am the one who gave her the turn with all the obligations and access to resources. And now she wants to play me, holy crap. Anyway god is ironic and that´s where I was at...because the day after this shitty dance of hers around both myself and my dad, we are both in bedrest and now she has to take care of HER BUSINESS, of my mother, and whatever we want her to do. The funny thing with materialistic people is that they soon show how much crap they are as soon as more responsibility comes their way, Meaning, they want all the money they can get and leave us sick to die on the middle of the street. And all I can think is that is exactly what she is aiming for HERSELF. Because God is like that...whatever we wish others come our way first and last forever. Because no one will want to help her and they will charge more and more to put up with her crap until a day she has the exact same faith as my mother did. A LALAND of all money can buy but not a single person that can put up with what they see in there and how they have been treated all along. I remember helping my mother I had to come up with a reason on the very basics for keeping my motivation...she GAVE ME LIFE. But that was it. There wasn´t any relationship from her to me that wasn´t absentor abusive or just crap trying to screw whatever I had going in my life. So, I look at my sister and I want to SHAKE her out of that MISERY road but she is loving the drive so much that she is blind and death and playing this PRETTY PICTURE we just can´t buy for a second. I wonder if fake people can understand the concet people arent that stupid or greedy to cave in to join. But all in all we the see the hle digging and just stay far and through a few punches when she comes on a close range to put her off for longer. But te irony is that she came from another city to play all of us...and now we are all sick and half patient and she is getting what she advertises for ...this great care for mother expanding outwards and we kick her butt and leave her to mother who is already not too happy with this pathetic play, but well what[s to say? Not happy for broken ribs but the  time away I can get from that for family crap is the BONUS side of it. THat´s sad, that we see a bnus in being sick is for the sick minds you know. Of course I´d rather be all HEALTHY and full energy to KICK HER ASS and show tough love. But all in all, would that matter to show anyhting for the blind? Sight...give it to the universe and god and that´s it. DOING ME now. Just slow down and a day ata  time. All in all what this TAUGHT ME is to put my agenda where it should be...FIRST and more important than kissing ass or kicking ass. Let the crazy find crazy esewhere... you know....in time everybdy finds what they are looking for in the depths of teir minds...good or bad. So there universe, do your thing. I am in vacations from the word to HEAL. THat will do and wish all well because karma is a bitch...lol

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Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett, Bluebell,   thanks for the love and for caring.  I am still afraid of not knowing what happens to people that end their life.  I wouldnt want to ruin my only chance to be with her again.  Then again, wouldn’t a…"
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Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Virginia, I thought about it but it was never a real possibility for me. As I said earlier, there is nothing in this world that would hurt my mom more than ending my own life. I will never do it. I try to be careful. I'm such a religious…"
18 hours ago
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Agree with you Virginia. Sometimes we actually dont know what we are doing."
20 hours ago
Mike H. posted a blog post

What Can Help Me if I'm Depressed?

The best help comes from “God, Who comforts and encourages and refreshes and cheers the depressed.”—2 Corinthians 7:6, The Amplified Bible.What God gives to help the depressedStrength. God “refreshes and cheers” you, not by removing all your problems, but by answering your prayers when you pray for the strength to cope. (…See More
21 hours ago
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi, Im sure you were giving your Mom the medicines that you thought were best at the time.  Did you ask the doctor if that one dose would have made a difference?  Sadly, it probably wouldn’t have. I had no idea there were only a few…"
yesterday
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Thanks bluebell. Yes I joined the group so that I can discuss by grief and get some good advices. Virginia, same thing happened with me as well. My mother oncologist was also not telling me complete details amd just use to say that only few days…"
yesterday
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi I am very sorry for your loss. I understand the sadness and guilt you are going through right now; all of us do. This is a good place to come and talk and share your feelings. You may not get an answer back right away sometimes, but there has…"
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Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi,   welcome, people on here are very supportive.  I am going through the same guilt as far as what happened in the end.  In the hospital, I didn’t talk to the doctors enough, I don’t know what I was doing.  Now I…"
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BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Virginia It sounds like you are in a very dark place. Before it gets too bad, I beg of you to reach out for help. Call 911 if you have to. Trust that you will feel better than you do now and you have to be alive to find that out. Bluebell"
yesterday
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"  As always, Brett thank you for your caring posts.  I think you could be a writer or counselor.  Thanks everyone else for support also.  I can’t offer any help because I dont know what to do.  I was thinking tonight,…"
yesterday
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi Guys This is Avi and I am from India. I lost my mother on 15 may after her 7 months battle with last stage gall bladder cancer.  The grief that I possess now is that although I was closely monitoring her treatment since the first day, I was…"
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Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Theresa, I feel like a hypocrite when I try to think of something to say to you that would bring you peace. Because I know that I would feel the same way you do if that had happened to me. There was something. Before my mom came home on Hospice, she…"
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I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....
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Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett Crystal and Bluebell are so right, I feel comfort and I smile when reading your posts.   I know I was trying to get to her, but I say maybe it was not meant for me to be there when her heart stopped, maybe she wanted that way, but…"
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Crystal K commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett you always bring light to our darkest thoughts. I am so thankful to know you. I wrill try to tell myself that from now on, that my mom would want me to live. "
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Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Virginia, I know that you don't want to wait until your old to be with your mom. Neither do I. I told you earlier that after my mom died I considered ending my own life, but I could just see my mom if I had tried, screaming, "NO!!" We…"
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Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I wish I hadn't posted so quickly this morning. I had some type'o's. I meant to say that my mom held out her hand before she died. She was holding it upwards. It was an awesome thing to see, though at the time it didn't mean so…"
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Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Crystal, I read some of your posts, we have a lot in common.  I read you were also close to your Grandma and lost her and then your Mom and aren’t close to your Dad.  Same here.  My Mom was an only child too so my Granny, Mom,…"
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Crystal K commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Virginia, reading your posts was like going through all my feelings of guilt the first few weeks after my mom died.  All the times I was horrible to her, the times I got frustrated when she wouldn't eat right or when I complained about…"
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BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett, I love reading your posts even though they are for Virginia. They help me to0 Virginia, My thoughts and prayers are with you. I pray that you find some peaceful moments. It is okay to find some peace. It does not take away from how much you…"
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