Mountain everest climbing....and yet some are eager to ask for MORE.

Here is my situation. I have broken ribs and trying to keep up the best I can with my obligations and god nows how hard it is. So here I find myself fighting for my own health and my family health, and there is this aunt that engages in a conversation with me that is DISTURBING to say the least. She was questioning my trip to a lawyer versus a trip to the hospital to see my mother. Yeah, I wonder how much she wants my body, my pain, and MY LIFE and having to comre across this nonsense. She thinks my sister is wonderful caring for my mother, well I don´t because because I´m the one who is not confortable to step in an environment to see mother being misstreated and applause. No I will complain or not go. Then I am guilty of NOT CARING. Well I cared so much and how come I get the opposite feeling right now...must be my sick head and not something tangible no one experiences but me and the caretaker at the time I was doing with her care giving and having to fix all the shit coming my mother´s way that could cost her LIFE. Yeah, I must be nuts...right. THen the bulshit gets bigger and better. All teh people complaining to me are GOSSIPERS. Yeah right, they love to call me to say weird things they see there just because they don´t have anything better to do...I wonder how the same wrds around this migrated from my sister´s mouth to theirs. Life is beautiful. Must be I am the fool and they are all so righteous that I feel like throwing up just seeing this soapopera that has me as the BAD COP. Well, why would they GOSSIP, maybe LEGITIMATE CONCERN? Yeah, maybe they have been PUT IN THEIR PLACE when trying to speak up and found DEAF EARS, but well they are aall with me BEING BAD PEOPLE against the status quo. Since my mother seems to BE SO HAPPY THERE. Well, then why my phone doesn´t cease to exist free from people´s concerns. Must be the theory of conspiracy. Me with broken ribs and a bad back really want to have energy to cospire...man, you really dont grasp how unfair the words are against me. Becasue I don´t need any of that, although I would like THE RIGHT FOR QUALITY TIME with MY MOTHER which is a right by law and as a daughter. Fact is why can´t I do it? Instead of questioning my motives, I wonder how many really love the concept to think its all so perfect and I insist not to FIT IN. HOLY MACARRONY CRAP. Just yesterday I complainedto my sister and mother famiy about my sister jumping on me when talking about what is wrong in mother care with PERSONAL ATTACKS. Saying how crappy I must be to BORROW my apartment and driving a car that was  a GIFT. ntersting. The apartment is my own and the car is my own too. But she wants my car apartment and what more? My  dog, my back, my food, my clothes....INSANITY that is. So I cc them all and what I got, more rocks my way. Then I wonder why I DO NOT VISIT. And I wonder why they insist to BLOW MY PHONE in MOTHER´S DAY because I really don´t understand why I have to play the role here to validate shit when apparently shit is STANDING UP ON IT´S OWN. Why anyone needs me to buy into that? Or crucify me? I guess the bulshit turned from family to company and turned into a mental institution with government recognition or something. ONE THING IS FOR SURE..I OWN MY MIND and CRAP IS CRAP. SHIT IS SHIT. How many want to live my life here? Lets see who pays my bills, cook for me, drive for me and FEELS MY PAIN and on top SUFFERS from being in the same family crap without EVER BELONGING TO CRAP. Family out the window for me, or they wont help getting my duties to deffend my rights. Guess they don´t do for mother either but how lovely is expanding their NOT GIVE A SHIT to me. Yeah ....right! I´m out and will block tons if this becomes any mroe abusive. Better than that, consider me dead and don´t ask how I am doing...that SIMPLE. SIGHT

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Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett, Bluebell,   thanks for the love and for caring.  I am still afraid of not knowing what happens to people that end their life.  I wouldnt want to ruin my only chance to be with her again.  Then again, wouldn’t a…"
1 hour ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
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18 hours ago
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Agree with you Virginia. Sometimes we actually dont know what we are doing."
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Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
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yesterday
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Thanks bluebell. Yes I joined the group so that I can discuss by grief and get some good advices. Virginia, same thing happened with me as well. My mother oncologist was also not telling me complete details amd just use to say that only few days…"
yesterday
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi I am very sorry for your loss. I understand the sadness and guilt you are going through right now; all of us do. This is a good place to come and talk and share your feelings. You may not get an answer back right away sometimes, but there has…"
yesterday
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi,   welcome, people on here are very supportive.  I am going through the same guilt as far as what happened in the end.  In the hospital, I didn’t talk to the doctors enough, I don’t know what I was doing.  Now I…"
yesterday
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
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yesterday
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"  As always, Brett thank you for your caring posts.  I think you could be a writer or counselor.  Thanks everyone else for support also.  I can’t offer any help because I dont know what to do.  I was thinking tonight,…"
yesterday
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
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Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
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I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....
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Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett Crystal and Bluebell are so right, I feel comfort and I smile when reading your posts.   I know I was trying to get to her, but I say maybe it was not meant for me to be there when her heart stopped, maybe she wanted that way, but…"
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Crystal K commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett you always bring light to our darkest thoughts. I am so thankful to know you. I wrill try to tell myself that from now on, that my mom would want me to live. "
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Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Virginia, I know that you don't want to wait until your old to be with your mom. Neither do I. I told you earlier that after my mom died I considered ending my own life, but I could just see my mom if I had tried, screaming, "NO!!" We…"
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Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
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Friday
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Crystal, I read some of your posts, we have a lot in common.  I read you were also close to your Grandma and lost her and then your Mom and aren’t close to your Dad.  Same here.  My Mom was an only child too so my Granny, Mom,…"
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Crystal K commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Virginia, reading your posts was like going through all my feelings of guilt the first few weeks after my mom died.  All the times I was horrible to her, the times I got frustrated when she wouldn't eat right or when I complained about…"
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BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett, I love reading your posts even though they are for Virginia. They help me to0 Virginia, My thoughts and prayers are with you. I pray that you find some peaceful moments. It is okay to find some peace. It does not take away from how much you…"
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