To a lot of people MOVING ON means something TANGIBLE. Such as a new relationship, new job, or new YOU. Well I´d say the true MOVING ON DEFINITIOn is so very far from the TANGIBLE. It´s more like cracking, dive in the dumps of self, craving what isn´t where we look for anything. It´s a dark place where light enters gradually and not as easy as it seems. Anyone can have a new relationship....but not everyone can have a new relationship with SELF trully emerging out at once. It´s not realistic. It slow and gradual. One step forward, 2 back. Being tired of being told to MOVE ON. Being aeway from the peers pressure of WHAT MOVING ON MEANS. It´s a REDEFINITION of SELF. It´s not something we can aim at without the disconstruct of whereas we used to fit so well. It´s a new existence, sort of rearranging the relationship with LIFE AS IS. It´s learning to cope with griedf. It´s taking the steps to pregress WHEN WE ARE READY. It´s not hiding from outer world, but CALM DOWN enough the feelings so they won´t surface where it´s not appropriate or where its damaging. It´s a change that we must spend time to break free from whatever patterns hold back. And its a FRAGILE process. Meaning, at times one bad move into the tANGIBLE makes TRUE PROGRESS seems like trying with both hands grabbing water while it just flows in between the fingers. It´s hard to achieve a few steps, but quick to loose where we are at. Often, that´s why we need to do it in more solityde, so progress is just lost to SELF and we pick ourselves up again and again, until a few steps start being firm in the direction. It´s not a matter of MORE EXPOSURE, it´s a mater to what quality of exposure will keep progress and which ones are in detriment. Do you see how many people want us to stay where we are to justify their sick minds of what they will never progress to be? While others much less likely to impress are good to us just because they are there without expectations either way. The reality of MOVING ON is that society has a very shallow idea of what they see versus what is. It´s about PERSONAL TRUTH shifting, accomodating to a new shape and existence in the FLOW OF LIFE. It´s not a construct from the outside to the inside, rather its a construct of a new shape and form to flow with LIFE the best WE CAN. There is no pre conceived idea that can ever work. There is no template. There is a COSTUME BUILT way out that no one can do for us. And the closer some get, the more steps far behind we find ourselves whreas vulnerable intrinsically. Vulnerability is a key to change from inwards, but also a place to be exploited by others. I´m sorry is I have a less than charming concept of humanity, but there are few good ones and the vast majority is UNCONSCIOUS all LIFE LONG...in a SELF MEDICATING manner which means attaching to opposing forces, and wanting to surf on another´s misery to truly justify the miserable conditions some live all their lives. There is a reason we find ourselves in a cocuun and hardly interact. And that is because humans can be very neglectful of self and others and shameless to achieve what they want by any means. You would think that msot would be kind and understanding to your situation, well, that you can be to yourself. Because most will never hacve that even to give to themselves, Never mind expanding to others. It´s a selfish race. And although I think overall goes to better, it´s also the MOVING ON very definition that gets me ANNOYED. Because most people are not kind and the IDEA or CONCEPt of MOVING ON is equally UNKIND to us. The MOVING on TAKES TIME, not measurable by clocks. It´s an spiritual quest. Because without spiritual evolution, it´s just one more fall and get up but keep running into all the same pitfalls. Without any REAL CHANGE in direction and where motivation goes. Eventually there may be OR NOT changes in the TANGIBLE, but will even that ever please others? Of course not, it´s not in their timing and space of what MOVING ON for them SHOULD cOULD WOULD have ever been. So, I dare to figure that MOVING ON is more like an inside job, a revolutionary change that really was years and decades in the make but we lacked the courage to step out of our confort zone. However the complete removal of what our confort zone was will finally allow some big changes deep within. In fact some may be less than tangible, and much more FELT. So, if anyone asks me what I am doing to move on, I first need to ask what does their conceptual framework of moving on may be that  should mirror? Because I cthis far  could live just fine with my own ways in and out, and help is more than good, but unfortunatelly everyone has a full other range of definitions for help. THe help we need is punctual. Meaing we don´t follow anything, and things and people don´t mean to help, but sometimes do just by inspiring presence or so repulsive that reshapes some more the way out in ways we know better....

Views: 18

Comment

You need to be a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community to add comments!

Join Online Grief Support - A Social Community

Groups

Latest Activity

Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett, Bluebell,   thanks for the love and for caring.  I am still afraid of not knowing what happens to people that end their life.  I wouldnt want to ruin my only chance to be with her again.  Then again, wouldn’t a…"
1 hour ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Virginia, I thought about it but it was never a real possibility for me. As I said earlier, there is nothing in this world that would hurt my mom more than ending my own life. I will never do it. I try to be careful. I'm such a religious…"
18 hours ago
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Agree with you Virginia. Sometimes we actually dont know what we are doing."
20 hours ago
Mike H. posted a blog post

What Can Help Me if I'm Depressed?

The best help comes from “God, Who comforts and encourages and refreshes and cheers the depressed.”—2 Corinthians 7:6, The Amplified Bible.What God gives to help the depressedStrength. God “refreshes and cheers” you, not by removing all your problems, but by answering your prayers when you pray for the strength to cope. (…See More
21 hours ago
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi, Im sure you were giving your Mom the medicines that you thought were best at the time.  Did you ask the doctor if that one dose would have made a difference?  Sadly, it probably wouldn’t have. I had no idea there were only a few…"
yesterday
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Thanks bluebell. Yes I joined the group so that I can discuss by grief and get some good advices. Virginia, same thing happened with me as well. My mother oncologist was also not telling me complete details amd just use to say that only few days…"
yesterday
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi I am very sorry for your loss. I understand the sadness and guilt you are going through right now; all of us do. This is a good place to come and talk and share your feelings. You may not get an answer back right away sometimes, but there has…"
yesterday
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi,   welcome, people on here are very supportive.  I am going through the same guilt as far as what happened in the end.  In the hospital, I didn’t talk to the doctors enough, I don’t know what I was doing.  Now I…"
yesterday
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Virginia It sounds like you are in a very dark place. Before it gets too bad, I beg of you to reach out for help. Call 911 if you have to. Trust that you will feel better than you do now and you have to be alive to find that out. Bluebell"
yesterday
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"  As always, Brett thank you for your caring posts.  I think you could be a writer or counselor.  Thanks everyone else for support also.  I can’t offer any help because I dont know what to do.  I was thinking tonight,…"
yesterday
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi Guys This is Avi and I am from India. I lost my mother on 15 may after her 7 months battle with last stage gall bladder cancer.  The grief that I possess now is that although I was closely monitoring her treatment since the first day, I was…"
yesterday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Theresa, I feel like a hypocrite when I try to think of something to say to you that would bring you peace. Because I know that I would feel the same way you do if that had happened to me. There was something. Before my mom came home on Hospice, she…"
yesterday
Avi joined Karen's group
Thumbnail

I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....
yesterday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett Crystal and Bluebell are so right, I feel comfort and I smile when reading your posts.   I know I was trying to get to her, but I say maybe it was not meant for me to be there when her heart stopped, maybe she wanted that way, but…"
yesterday
Crystal K commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett you always bring light to our darkest thoughts. I am so thankful to know you. I wrill try to tell myself that from now on, that my mom would want me to live. "
yesterday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Virginia, I know that you don't want to wait until your old to be with your mom. Neither do I. I told you earlier that after my mom died I considered ending my own life, but I could just see my mom if I had tried, screaming, "NO!!" We…"
Friday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I wish I hadn't posted so quickly this morning. I had some type'o's. I meant to say that my mom held out her hand before she died. She was holding it upwards. It was an awesome thing to see, though at the time it didn't mean so…"
Friday
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Crystal, I read some of your posts, we have a lot in common.  I read you were also close to your Grandma and lost her and then your Mom and aren’t close to your Dad.  Same here.  My Mom was an only child too so my Granny, Mom,…"
Friday
Crystal K commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Virginia, reading your posts was like going through all my feelings of guilt the first few weeks after my mom died.  All the times I was horrible to her, the times I got frustrated when she wouldn't eat right or when I complained about…"
Thursday
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett, I love reading your posts even though they are for Virginia. They help me to0 Virginia, My thoughts and prayers are with you. I pray that you find some peaceful moments. It is okay to find some peace. It does not take away from how much you…"
Thursday

© 2018   Created by Jarvis.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service