To a lot of people MOVING ON means something TANGIBLE. Such as a new relationship, new job, or new YOU. Well I´d say the true MOVING ON DEFINITIOn is so very far from the TANGIBLE. It´s more like cracking, dive in the dumps of self, craving what isn´t where we look for anything. It´s a dark place where light enters gradually and not as easy as it seems. Anyone can have a new relationship....but not everyone can have a new relationship with SELF trully emerging out at once. It´s not realistic. It slow and gradual. One step forward, 2 back. Being tired of being told to MOVE ON. Being aeway from the peers pressure of WHAT MOVING ON MEANS. It´s a REDEFINITION of SELF. It´s not something we can aim at without the disconstruct of whereas we used to fit so well. It´s a new existence, sort of rearranging the relationship with LIFE AS IS. It´s learning to cope with griedf. It´s taking the steps to pregress WHEN WE ARE READY. It´s not hiding from outer world, but CALM DOWN enough the feelings so they won´t surface where it´s not appropriate or where its damaging. It´s a change that we must spend time to break free from whatever patterns hold back. And its a FRAGILE process. Meaning, at times one bad move into the tANGIBLE makes TRUE PROGRESS seems like trying with both hands grabbing water while it just flows in between the fingers. It´s hard to achieve a few steps, but quick to loose where we are at. Often, that´s why we need to do it in more solityde, so progress is just lost to SELF and we pick ourselves up again and again, until a few steps start being firm in the direction. It´s not a matter of MORE EXPOSURE, it´s a mater to what quality of exposure will keep progress and which ones are in detriment. Do you see how many people want us to stay where we are to justify their sick minds of what they will never progress to be? While others much less likely to impress are good to us just because they are there without expectations either way. The reality of MOVING ON is that society has a very shallow idea of what they see versus what is. It´s about PERSONAL TRUTH shifting, accomodating to a new shape and existence in the FLOW OF LIFE. It´s not a construct from the outside to the inside, rather its a construct of a new shape and form to flow with LIFE the best WE CAN. There is no pre conceived idea that can ever work. There is no template. There is a COSTUME BUILT way out that no one can do for us. And the closer some get, the more steps far behind we find ourselves whreas vulnerable intrinsically. Vulnerability is a key to change from inwards, but also a place to be exploited by others. I´m sorry is I have a less than charming concept of humanity, but there are few good ones and the vast majority is UNCONSCIOUS all LIFE LONG...in a SELF MEDICATING manner which means attaching to opposing forces, and wanting to surf on another´s misery to truly justify the miserable conditions some live all their lives. There is a reason we find ourselves in a cocuun and hardly interact. And that is because humans can be very neglectful of self and others and shameless to achieve what they want by any means. You would think that msot would be kind and understanding to your situation, well, that you can be to yourself. Because most will never hacve that even to give to themselves, Never mind expanding to others. It´s a selfish race. And although I think overall goes to better, it´s also the MOVING ON very definition that gets me ANNOYED. Because most people are not kind and the IDEA or CONCEPt of MOVING ON is equally UNKIND to us. The MOVING on TAKES TIME, not measurable by clocks. It´s an spiritual quest. Because without spiritual evolution, it´s just one more fall and get up but keep running into all the same pitfalls. Without any REAL CHANGE in direction and where motivation goes. Eventually there may be OR NOT changes in the TANGIBLE, but will even that ever please others? Of course not, it´s not in their timing and space of what MOVING ON for them SHOULD cOULD WOULD have ever been. So, I dare to figure that MOVING ON is more like an inside job, a revolutionary change that really was years and decades in the make but we lacked the courage to step out of our confort zone. However the complete removal of what our confort zone was will finally allow some big changes deep within. In fact some may be less than tangible, and much more FELT. So, if anyone asks me what I am doing to move on, I first need to ask what does their conceptual framework of moving on may be that  should mirror? Because I cthis far  could live just fine with my own ways in and out, and help is more than good, but unfortunatelly everyone has a full other range of definitions for help. THe help we need is punctual. Meaing we don´t follow anything, and things and people don´t mean to help, but sometimes do just by inspiring presence or so repulsive that reshapes some more the way out in ways we know better....

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Billy Jo Colt commented on Pamela philipp's blog post I need advice
"Hi Pamela, I can understand your situation as you aretorn between two worlds. Your daughter in her own way is trying to help you with your grieving process. She thinks that her way is the only way through your grief. It is also a confrontation you…"
25 minutes ago
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi Brett Your words give me hope that I will be with my mom someday. This is enough motivation to live.  Virginia, sometimes we do feel that God has done lot of injustice to us but if you look around there are people who suffer lot more than…"
1 hour ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
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4 hours ago
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Bluebird,   I always feel a spiritual kinship with what you write.  You were the first person here who when I started reading who was honest and told it like it was.  That hasn't changed and I truly believe that if anyone outside…"
7 hours ago
morgan commented on Pamela philipp's blog post I need advice
"Pamela, I may not be the best person to respond because U can get kind of feisty `but i am going to anyhow.  I will be at six years in January.  I have pictures of my husband all over my house.  I am still slowly going through boxes I…"
8 hours ago
Virginia G posted a discussion

What’s the point

Whats the point of living if there’s no happiness?  If you don’t care about anything except being with the person you lost...if everything is meaningless...if you can’t stand the pain or the numbness...if you don’t belong anywhere..if everything feels wrong...if you have no idea what to do about it...if you can’t get through the daySee More
9 hours ago
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"There’s no joy without her and I wouldn’t want any. its the only answer"
9 hours ago
Pamela philipp posted a blog post

I need advice

I have been very stressed and upset my daughter came back to my house for a while until she and her family gets on their feet which is not the problem the problem is she has made me get all the things that are important to me out of the house and put in the garage pictures mementos etc. because she thinks that I need to move on she said because it has been three years and she does not understand how she is upsetting me I don't want to be in this house like this anymore how do I make her…See More
13 hours ago
Denise Lavoie left a comment for Pamela philipp
"Hi everyone Scotishbrat here. We had our 1st snowfall Thursday. If Ron was here we would be out making a snowman laughing and throwing snowballs at each other.We did everything together.When he passedl felt so lost I still do its like half of me is…"
yesterday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Joe & Bluebird, Thanks for sharing you thoughts mine are exactly the same. I hate that I have to go on in this world. I have friends that our dying of cancer, I would trade places with them if I could. To endure my feelings I drink at least 6…"
yesterday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Virginia, you so often end your posts with something ominous. You are trying to say something and it is coming across loud and clear. Don't wish yourself dead. Try to live while you're alive. Find joy where you can. Never give up."
Saturday
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Some songs have popped into my head for no reason but that are appropriate.  I don’t even listen to the radio anymore so it’s not like I heard them recently.  I wasn’t trying to think of songs either.  First it was I…"
Saturday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I love the Doors. Jim Morrison is just the coolest. And I love that song. It's about feeling alone in a crowd. I can relate. Virginia, why would God tell you that you deserve to be alone? I think it is quite the opposite. You are telling…"
Saturday
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I am realizing the only people that truly love me are my family. So how am I expected to live without them?"
Saturday
bluebird replied to Kristen Harlow's discussion Feeling alone
"I agree, that is a big step. You should be proud of yourself for being able to take that step. ((((Hugs))))"
Saturday
Fran left a comment for Denise Lavoie
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Friday
Denise Lavoie commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi my name is scotishbrat this will be my 3rd holiday season with out my love.It is so hard to do anything.l have crying spells that are so intense it feels like l am going to die.Once l stary it could go on for hours and then l feel completely…"
Friday
Kristen Harlow replied to Kristen Harlow's discussion Feeling alone
"Such a good question. No, probably not. I've finally come to the place where I have accepted that I have to accept it's over. That feels like a big step."
Friday
bluebird replied to Kristen Harlow's discussion Feeling alone
"That is a lot of shit to deal with, all at once. It's good your sister is ok now.  If the man who you feel is your best friend and the love of your life were to come back now, do you think you would be ready to be with him now?"
Friday
bluebird commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"morgan, As usual, I identify so much with your post.  As you said, by burying our soulmates we buried ourselves. Why can't people understand that? If I had a child with my husband, I would feel some pull to live for that child. I felt that…"
Friday

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