Patterns of thinking...how do we change? HEALING

It´s not easy to trade old patterns for new ones. THere is something to be said about comfort zone, and how we resort to that when anything is outside what we know or we think it should go. Takes so much effort to make where we are remotelly OK, that it´s peaceful achieved only by slowing down the thinking and allowing ourselves just to be. But all in all...how do we make a shift into the new things with the calm and peace we need? HEALING takes time, and there is so much effort that will work. I think temperance comes from readiness of body and mind. Not looking for the old ways of looking, not becoming someone else is more likely to be our own life and still resemble ourselves in the mirror. Moving forward takes a LOT MORE self LOVE than pushing ourselves through the edges of comfortable. Perhaps we work on expanding the comfort zone to assimilate the best we can all that is out there and so much won´t make much sense and that´s ok. I guess expanding what is comfortable means to LOVE SELF to the point where nothing out there can shift much, just teach and feel ok. It´s like rescuing the self love so many times that eventually we have that in a CONSTANT and is the most important part of life. I think most of us have placed HAPPINESS or FULFILLMENT elsewhere. And as much as that worked... wasn´t susteinable because people come and go...if not in this life...FROM THIS LIFE. They pass. And therefore we wonder..what then? Restablishing a better relationship with SELF is easier said than done. Sometimes we know to LOVE OTHERS so much easier than SELF. It´s like we depend on what comes and give in sure ways it will come back. But in this world and in the OUT AND ABOUT, we give so much more love, compassion, and kindness, that we wonder after sometime if we really know to open our minds to the UNIVERSE to RECEIVE. We are great givers...but how good are we in receiving? I guess part of that comes from coming to expect this inhospital place amongst humans, whereas most instead of compassion capitalize in the holes and dumps we care to shate. Sometimes we want to be open and willing...and then we get one slap to the face after another. This society is quite empty, and the ways we fulfill aren´t meaningful to most. Because are used to fill feeling with money, attention with buying, and overall the negative influences and words come rampant when we need the least. And we tend to build this island in the realms of our uniqe thinking and universe where everything is FINALLY FINE. And the door is a little more closed than before because we know we find peacel. NOW changing that PATTERN is difficult. And necessary to change the vibs and what we attract to our existencce. HEaling is not easy because we have to dig deeper for so much that don[t make sense to most. For instance, if I need to increase my self healing body and mind, how can I do that with less negative influences in ways to replace our expectations? I don´t know. I really try meditation and all, and I know that helps. But I just don[t see how to trade previous experience with new naive. Sounds quite silly. Maybe I still need to dig DEEPER, who knows? I am opening up but when it goes into 4 or 5 things wrong in the sequence I want to shut the world and breath again...How EASY I can be with life in new ways...I think time will tell....Sight

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Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett, Bluebell,   thanks for the love and for caring.  I am still afraid of not knowing what happens to people that end their life.  I wouldnt want to ruin my only chance to be with her again.  Then again, wouldn’t a…"
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Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Virginia, I thought about it but it was never a real possibility for me. As I said earlier, there is nothing in this world that would hurt my mom more than ending my own life. I will never do it. I try to be careful. I'm such a religious…"
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Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Agree with you Virginia. Sometimes we actually dont know what we are doing."
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What Can Help Me if I'm Depressed?

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Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi, Im sure you were giving your Mom the medicines that you thought were best at the time.  Did you ask the doctor if that one dose would have made a difference?  Sadly, it probably wouldn’t have. I had no idea there were only a few…"
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Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Thanks bluebell. Yes I joined the group so that I can discuss by grief and get some good advices. Virginia, same thing happened with me as well. My mother oncologist was also not telling me complete details amd just use to say that only few days…"
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BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi I am very sorry for your loss. I understand the sadness and guilt you are going through right now; all of us do. This is a good place to come and talk and share your feelings. You may not get an answer back right away sometimes, but there has…"
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Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi,   welcome, people on here are very supportive.  I am going through the same guilt as far as what happened in the end.  In the hospital, I didn’t talk to the doctors enough, I don’t know what I was doing.  Now I…"
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BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Virginia It sounds like you are in a very dark place. Before it gets too bad, I beg of you to reach out for help. Call 911 if you have to. Trust that you will feel better than you do now and you have to be alive to find that out. Bluebell"
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Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"  As always, Brett thank you for your caring posts.  I think you could be a writer or counselor.  Thanks everyone else for support also.  I can’t offer any help because I dont know what to do.  I was thinking tonight,…"
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Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi Guys This is Avi and I am from India. I lost my mother on 15 may after her 7 months battle with last stage gall bladder cancer.  The grief that I possess now is that although I was closely monitoring her treatment since the first day, I was…"
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Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Theresa, I feel like a hypocrite when I try to think of something to say to you that would bring you peace. Because I know that I would feel the same way you do if that had happened to me. There was something. Before my mom came home on Hospice, she…"
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I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....
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Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett Crystal and Bluebell are so right, I feel comfort and I smile when reading your posts.   I know I was trying to get to her, but I say maybe it was not meant for me to be there when her heart stopped, maybe she wanted that way, but…"
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Crystal K commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett you always bring light to our darkest thoughts. I am so thankful to know you. I wrill try to tell myself that from now on, that my mom would want me to live. "
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Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Virginia, I know that you don't want to wait until your old to be with your mom. Neither do I. I told you earlier that after my mom died I considered ending my own life, but I could just see my mom if I had tried, screaming, "NO!!" We…"
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Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I wish I hadn't posted so quickly this morning. I had some type'o's. I meant to say that my mom held out her hand before she died. She was holding it upwards. It was an awesome thing to see, though at the time it didn't mean so…"
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Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Crystal, I read some of your posts, we have a lot in common.  I read you were also close to your Grandma and lost her and then your Mom and aren’t close to your Dad.  Same here.  My Mom was an only child too so my Granny, Mom,…"
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Crystal K commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Virginia, reading your posts was like going through all my feelings of guilt the first few weeks after my mom died.  All the times I was horrible to her, the times I got frustrated when she wouldn't eat right or when I complained about…"
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BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett, I love reading your posts even though they are for Virginia. They help me to0 Virginia, My thoughts and prayers are with you. I pray that you find some peaceful moments. It is okay to find some peace. It does not take away from how much you…"
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