Moving on ia by all means an ALONE process

I find that anyone getting too close when you are trying to pick up the pieces is more damaging than beneficial. And that is because in their hopes and aspirations for us they TRAP US in the outcome suitable or perhaps minimal acceptable by them. Excuse me, but with my full mindset barely knowing where and how I am going, I rather keep an open mind where this all will arrive, Sometimes its more like a roller coaster just as is pushing myself up and doing a thing at a time, the uncertain is not what most peers can deal with, most in fact can´t imagine a day in our shoes to remotely guess what feels like. And those shoes elsewhere I don´t need since they aren´t meant for me and wont stand to the slighest real life test. I think there is something to be said about the SHOULDS and COULDS. And the energy it takes to pretendo everything is fine and going to be great soon. Almost sounds like a farytale or pertaining to a soapopera that is real distant from reality. Reality is a DAY at a TIME, and sometimes we move forward, other times we take sharp curves, and there are also the times we need to take steps back then to move forward. And the traps of people around is EXPECTATION, but just the ones they choose to pick and vest with TRUTH to it. So, at any sharp curve or steps back, they will question every move within their rather inflexible minds of where they put in their minds we SHOULD be at a given time. To us looks like a bug making noises around and we just feel like smashing against the wall the sucker. Patience runs low. Reality is more than a full plate, sometimes I have a hard time digesting whatever is in that plate. The unknown or unpredictable make a lot of people vanish anyhow. So, why don´t we just abbreviate the hell I am more than fine to do without and throw out the sources of potential additional variables to the dumps because that cuts the crap before it starts, really. How many times we have to look strong when we are barely holding our head ups to make it through the day. I understand that whatever people near go with us, is more a million times than their best coping skills. Even family is an exposure that can be tricky. But what´s to say about a person that is living it? And doesn´t need to wonder why and where people went and under what motives they remember later I EXIST. I was always so responsible and keep my word that most of the attentin of people around in a difficult time I think just adds more crap when my craptometer capacity is long overflowing. Imagine how specail people would have to be to put up... I think Iam an ET when i look at society and how they deal with anything or anyone vulnerable, In fact I think somedays here that my place of birth in the moon. Because humans can be a pile of walking BS. Just saying....sight!

Views: 30

Comment

You need to be a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community to add comments!

Join Online Grief Support - A Social Community

Groups

Latest Activity

Billy Jo Colt commented on Pamela philipp's blog post I need advice
"Hi Pamela, I can understand your situation as you aretorn between two worlds. Your daughter in her own way is trying to help you with your grieving process. She thinks that her way is the only way through your grief. It is also a confrontation you…"
20 minutes ago
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi Brett Your words give me hope that I will be with my mom someday. This is enough motivation to live.  Virginia, sometimes we do feel that God has done lot of injustice to us but if you look around there are people who suffer lot more than…"
1 hour ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Virginia, do you think I feel any joy right now? I don't. But I think about how much my mom loved me and how much it would hurt her if i harmed myself. She could not have led a happy life if she knew that was in my future. She would have held…"
4 hours ago
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Bluebird,   I always feel a spiritual kinship with what you write.  You were the first person here who when I started reading who was honest and told it like it was.  That hasn't changed and I truly believe that if anyone outside…"
7 hours ago
morgan commented on Pamela philipp's blog post I need advice
"Pamela, I may not be the best person to respond because U can get kind of feisty `but i am going to anyhow.  I will be at six years in January.  I have pictures of my husband all over my house.  I am still slowly going through boxes I…"
8 hours ago
Virginia G posted a discussion

What’s the point

Whats the point of living if there’s no happiness?  If you don’t care about anything except being with the person you lost...if everything is meaningless...if you can’t stand the pain or the numbness...if you don’t belong anywhere..if everything feels wrong...if you have no idea what to do about it...if you can’t get through the daySee More
9 hours ago
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"There’s no joy without her and I wouldn’t want any. its the only answer"
9 hours ago
Pamela philipp posted a blog post

I need advice

I have been very stressed and upset my daughter came back to my house for a while until she and her family gets on their feet which is not the problem the problem is she has made me get all the things that are important to me out of the house and put in the garage pictures mementos etc. because she thinks that I need to move on she said because it has been three years and she does not understand how she is upsetting me I don't want to be in this house like this anymore how do I make her…See More
13 hours ago
Denise Lavoie left a comment for Pamela philipp
"Hi everyone Scotishbrat here. We had our 1st snowfall Thursday. If Ron was here we would be out making a snowman laughing and throwing snowballs at each other.We did everything together.When he passedl felt so lost I still do its like half of me is…"
yesterday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Joe & Bluebird, Thanks for sharing you thoughts mine are exactly the same. I hate that I have to go on in this world. I have friends that our dying of cancer, I would trade places with them if I could. To endure my feelings I drink at least 6…"
yesterday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Virginia, you so often end your posts with something ominous. You are trying to say something and it is coming across loud and clear. Don't wish yourself dead. Try to live while you're alive. Find joy where you can. Never give up."
Saturday
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Some songs have popped into my head for no reason but that are appropriate.  I don’t even listen to the radio anymore so it’s not like I heard them recently.  I wasn’t trying to think of songs either.  First it was I…"
Saturday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I love the Doors. Jim Morrison is just the coolest. And I love that song. It's about feeling alone in a crowd. I can relate. Virginia, why would God tell you that you deserve to be alone? I think it is quite the opposite. You are telling…"
Saturday
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I am realizing the only people that truly love me are my family. So how am I expected to live without them?"
Saturday
bluebird replied to Kristen Harlow's discussion Feeling alone
"I agree, that is a big step. You should be proud of yourself for being able to take that step. ((((Hugs))))"
Saturday
Fran left a comment for Denise Lavoie
"Hello Scottishbrat. I just passed the 4 year mark of losing my husband. With him I felt complete. Now I just seem to be in limbo. I don't remember what  hobbies I used to enjoy. My life had been taking care of him and the 2 wonderful…"
Friday
Denise Lavoie commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi my name is scotishbrat this will be my 3rd holiday season with out my love.It is so hard to do anything.l have crying spells that are so intense it feels like l am going to die.Once l stary it could go on for hours and then l feel completely…"
Friday
Kristen Harlow replied to Kristen Harlow's discussion Feeling alone
"Such a good question. No, probably not. I've finally come to the place where I have accepted that I have to accept it's over. That feels like a big step."
Friday
bluebird replied to Kristen Harlow's discussion Feeling alone
"That is a lot of shit to deal with, all at once. It's good your sister is ok now.  If the man who you feel is your best friend and the love of your life were to come back now, do you think you would be ready to be with him now?"
Friday
bluebird commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"morgan, As usual, I identify so much with your post.  As you said, by burying our soulmates we buried ourselves. Why can't people understand that? If I had a child with my husband, I would feel some pull to live for that child. I felt that…"
Friday

© 2018   Created by Ninja.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service