Safe to assume the deffenses go down with the spirits. But in all fairness I´ve been sick for a while since I had the back surgeries, and it´s sometimes hard to separe effects from feeling ups and downs to the food and habits healthy and unhealthy. Added to that the idea that I will be ok and doctors don´t seem to  do much more for me these days. Neverhteless, some times I go to fix one thing and the medication side effects harm in some ways or the pain meds have caused me to faint and break 3 ribs. So, there´s an overall resistance built up based on EXPERIENCE that makes me want to avoid doctors all togehter. Part of it is feeling demotivated to feel more pain than I need to. Another part is resisting to change habits less healthy. And another part is sometimes insisting in the wrong dr. Lets say the anntinflamatory is hurting my stomack and I am going to the back surgeon instead the dr that can look into how hurt is the stomack. In the last few days I have tried to be calm and save myself from some interactions with friends and family which can be a distraction really, to just understand where to go with the health issues, and find the clear frame of mind to cope and address in the right drs. It´s not easy when all is chaotic to understand the IMPACTS to the HEALTH when there is all kinds of health issues going on. Also, as I try to address the back issue with heat I feel other things get pushed to the worsen. And people can be really something as they think all answers to our HEALTH can be found in google and youtube. My family for instance tent to think that they can FIX all health issues with food, and the reliable information os in google and youtube. Call me crazy, but why would a nutricionist graduate and specialize, or doctors.....if we were to be consuming junk literature and self medication from a place of ignorance shared amongst all online. I think online resources are great, don´t take me wrong, but it´s a very bad use of common sense to go for that and neglect formal training and REAL experience. SIGHT. Another last resort that I insist is on prayer in hopes God or Christ will care to heal overnight. It´s a hope, but taken to extremes and in groups can be quite something ELSE...so there is value to it, but not to the extent of ABSENCE of drs. There is a middle ground there, maybe God puts the right dr in front of me and that´s the help I get. Who knows. Prayer is not only for that, but to cope and endure and keep the mind in a good place...but not a HOPELESS one expecting for the saviour type, because if I was to expect for that, man 10 years sick they probably got lost long ago or something. Thus searching for a MIDDLE GROUND in all the midst of this is not so easy. Sometimes pain takes our minds and bodies to the limits, and other times the judgement of people around suck worse...and it´s not in the words they necessarily say, it´s in actions that show better than any spoken word. It´s also safe to say life gets real lonely sometimes when we are sick...and as we try allow some in, we want to kick them out faster than they jumped in...for they don´t have the right motivation to stick around. No matter how low you lay, there is all types of people out there who would love to get a slice of who I am or what I have. But since I don´t have much and I am very truthful, they soon drop the social mask and show what they are about. And by the way, drs, churchs and treaements arent so different necessarily. Some suck till no end really. If my life goes back to normal and I benefit any from all this illness, I am sure one lesson I can take from this is that I WALK ALONE, and have mastered the HEREMIT position with grace and faith, being kind to people and dismissing gently when they no longer can be a positive presence. And as a good host, I will give some chances for some to come back eventually in some other capacity in case they aren´t bad people, but just don´t know how to deal. But there is just so many chances to take on peers we don´t know, as if anyone is sick for any period of time they will ensure you they just want to see some familiar faces around, and that may be because when we are VULNERABLE, there are all kinds of WOLVES out there wanting to rip a little piece to chew. Life as is, and here is where faith and family can be of most HELP, but I really rather WALK ALONE and even those I need to be selective when in and out, because they too sometimes want their piece to chew. Sight

Views: 41

Comment

You need to be a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community to add comments!

Join Online Grief Support - A Social Community

Latest Activity

Speed Weasel posted a blog post

Assumptions

An assumption is an unexamined belief: what is thought to be true without ever really realizing that we think in that way. For better or worse, understanding starts with entertaining the idea that something is true.  Truly profound thoughts generally come to light from the relaxation of these (flawed) assumptions.  This is where I find myself today...Perhaps, one of the more significant drivers to pushing down the loss and grief at the time of the accident, ignoring it and mindlessly walking…See More
Mar 13
Profile IconCari Jo Converse, Jennifer and James D. Thornsberry joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Mar 13
Profile IconMarina Dsouza, Leah, Sandra M Aaron and 5 more joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Mar 5
esther joined HollowHeart's group
Thumbnail

Sibling Loss

This group is for anyone that has lost a brother or sister. Sibling loss is often minimized and people don't realize how devastating losing a sibling can be. I lost my older sister and my life will never be the same. She was my only sibling, I looked up to her, I went to her for everything. I lost my past, present and future. It is traumatic.See More
Mar 4
Speed Weasel posted a video

Sun Keeps Risin'

Provided to YouTube by The Orchard EnterprisesSun Keeps Risin' · Lissie · Elisabeth Corrin Maurus · Martin CraftMy Wild West℗ 2015 Lionboy RecordsReleased on...
Feb 26
Speed Weasel posted a blog post

Triggers Continue to Surface

Late February is a challenging time of year for me.  Jen’s birthday is the 23rd and serves as an annual reminder of all of the potential that was lost…Her’s (mainly), mine, the world’s honestly.  This year she would be 52…It is increasingly hard to imagine, through all of the iterations possible, what she could have become, what was to be her (significant) impact on the world.That being said, things, emotions, have largely settled down since I committed a potential version of what could have…See More
Feb 15
Michelle joined Gyla Lynn Darden's group
Thumbnail

Loss of a child In memory of my son or daughter

This group focuses on healing ourselves and each other over the death of a child and welcomes a Christian atmosphere to help with the healing process. I welcome all of those grieving.See More
Feb 8
Tammy McLaughlin and Rosie are now friends
Jan 30

© 2024   Created by Ninja.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service