Pamela philipp
  • Female
  • Hobart, IN
  • United States
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Understanding grief
10 Replies

There has been things on this site I understand and some things I don't however with that being said here is my opinion on recent things I have read about grief I lost my mother and my husband within…Continue

Started this discussion. Last reply by dream moon JO B Jan 24, 2017.

At the end of my rope
2 Replies

I don't know if I can go on much longer the pain is so excruciating it's getting harder each day it's coming up on 15 months since my husband passed away from cancer and I am having trouble sleeping…Continue

Started this discussion. Last reply by bluebird Dec 6, 2016.

Why does everyone say that things will get easier?
6 Replies

I don't understand why people keep telling me that things are going to get easier when people ask me how I am like a friend of mine that I've been friends with for over 30 years she lost her husband…Continue

Started this discussion. Last reply by annjulie Dec 7, 2016.

Feeling more lost than ever
5 Replies

It's been just a little over a year since my mom and my husband passed I've had no contact with my family because obviously they think I'm fine it's funny how when you lose somebody you find out…Continue

Started this discussion. Last reply by ShingingLight1967 Nov 20, 2016.

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Pamela philipp's Page

Latest Activity

Layla Richards commented on Pamela philipp's blog post still broken
"Hi there Pamela. Oh, how I can relate. I'm nearing the three-year anniversary myself. Just a few months shy of it. Our beloveds must have both died in late 2015. Yours being in September and mine being in December. Although I can say that…"
Sep 14
Pamela philipp posted a blog post

still broken

it has been three years today since I lost the love of my life, and I am just as broken today as the day my wonderful husband left this world, I have had so many people tell me time will heal you and you will be ok that is an absolute lie the only thing that has happened is I feel like I'm in this horrible nightmare and can't wake up, days go by then months then years but you are still lost there is no getting over it as people say the family I thought would be there also a lie I am alone and I…See More
Sep 14
Pamela philipp commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"tomorrow September 14th 2018 will be three years since I lost my husband and I feel just as lost and broken as I did the day he left I miss him so much life is so empty without him no amount of time will ever ease the heartbreak I feel every day I…"
Sep 13
Alison J replied to Pamela philipp's discussion FAILING in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Dear Pamela, your beautiful wedding picture made me smile, thank you for that!"
Aug 27
Christopher replied to Pamela philipp's discussion FAILING in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Where/how did they bury the manual for life? It has a symbol:$$$$$$"
Jul 23
morgan replied to Pamela philipp's discussion FAILING in the group Lost My Spouse...
"You know whats so powerful about sites like this.   It doesnt gloss over the dysfunction. The utter inhumanity.  Yet at the same time it is the most holistic approach to how we could live.  Each of us helping another.  I cannot…"
Jul 23
Christopher replied to Pamela philipp's discussion FAILING in the group Lost My Spouse...
"I know all about the "I just can't." It's not because you don't want to... you try and it's just not there, like turning on a light switch and the bulb doesn't work. You did all you could and knew how to, but it…"
Jul 22
morgan replied to Pamela philipp's discussion FAILING in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Christopher, You have had alot of good to post and i applaud your willingness to keep your focus forward. But for some of us that practical, pragmatic, positive "purpose" does not exist. And age plus length of time with our spouses can…"
Jul 22
Christopher replied to Pamela philipp's discussion FAILING in the group Lost My Spouse...
"You had half your soul ripped out... basically. Of course you're going to struggle. Most folks just don't get that because they are still fine. They have not been so deeply wounded and have nothing to compare your struggle to. When I…"
Jul 22
Monty replied to Pamela philipp's discussion FAILING in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Im sorry for your loss no matter how long ago it is. i can only imagine the pain and emotions you are still going though. for me it was taking care of the kids and finding one thing to achieve (no matter how small) helped a lot. it was as small…"
Jul 15
Fran replied to Pamela philipp's discussion FAILING in the group Lost My Spouse...
"You are not a failure! You are a survivor. It's hard to continue a life that was balanced and enriched by a truly loved spouse.  Just do what helps YOU go on."
Jul 13
Pamela philipp commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Virginia yes I will tell you what she lied about who my father is my mother told me the man who is on my birth certificate was my father but he told me I was not his daughter and I look like my so called step father who raised me since I was a baby…"
Jul 12
Pamela philipp commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"next month it will be three years since I lost my mom the problem I have is eight days after I lost her I lost my husband as well and I honestly haven't grieved for her at all also I carry a lot of anger when it comes to my mother growing up…"
Jul 12
Pamela philipp joined Karen's group
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I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....
Jul 12
Pamela philipp added a discussion to the group Lost My Spouse...
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FAILING

next month will be three years since I lost my husband and I'm failing miserably I am in serious debt I cant fix, I stay home because I have extreme difficulty leaving my house I don't know how to move forward as people say, I cant get through a day without breaking down, I have been told its time to start living my life and I just want to scream WHAT LIFE!!!!!! I don't know what to do I'm just existing for my children and grandchildren other wise I would of gave up a long time ago and because…See More
Jul 12
bluebird commented on Pamela philipp's blog post Alone
"Pamela, My husband died nearly 6 years ago, and I am still as hurt and sad and angry and grieving as I was the day he died. I can only imagine how horrible it must be to have had two people so dear to you die so closely together. I know what you…"
Jun 10

Profile Information

About Me:
Married 23years mother of two grandmother of seven
About my Loss:
My mom passed on sept 6th 2015 and then my husband passed sept 14th 2015 eight days after my mom how do you go on from there and also my wedding anniversary is August 15th it will be 24 years and no I will never stop saying I'm married because I am I guess the worst thing is no one in my family seems to care no one calls or has talked to me since the memorial for my husband how can I keep going on and the only reason I'm still here is because I promised my husband I wouldn't follow him into the dark but I really don't know how to live anymore without him and I still am not dealing with my mothers passing either so now what do I do and it makes me doubt there is a god or heaven how could a god that loves you hurt you like that

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Pamela philipp's Blog

still broken

it has been three years today since I lost the love of my life, and I am just as broken today as the day my wonderful husband left this world, I have had so many people tell me time will heal you and you will be ok that is an absolute lie the only thing that has happened is I feel like I'm in this horrible nightmare and can't wake up, days go by then months then years but you are still lost there is no getting over it as people say the family I thought would be there also a lie I am alone…

Continue

Posted on September 14, 2018 at 12:54pm — 1 Comment

Alone

I lost my mother on 9/6/15 then eight days later on 9/14/15 I lost my husband and 2 1/2 years later I am so lost the heartache is more unbearable every day and I feel like I have been in this horrific nightmare and I can’t wake up I have never felt so much pain ever in my life people keep telling me in time you will be ok but honestly I know that’s not true I know im just existing I stopped living when my whole world turned upside down I don’t know how to keep going I just pretend every day…

Continue

Posted on June 4, 2018 at 3:55pm — 5 Comments

Empty

It's been 2 years since I lost my mother and my husband and I am still lost and still very much alone in my grief I haven't been on this site in a while I've been trying to get by every day it's not working too well I'm struggling really really hard my family is still not around I guess they think I am OK that I'm doing fine little do theyknow that I'm not they are coming to my house this Saturday for a cook out because it's something my mother wanted me to do that's the only reason I agreed to… Continue

Posted on September 25, 2017 at 9:20am — 3 Comments

Lost

In September it will be two years since I lost my mother 9-6-15 and my husband 9-14-15 and since they left my family absolutely abandoned me no one talks to me no one seems to care if I'm OK all my friends that say they're my friends are liars they never talk to me either and it makes me start to wonder what the hell did I do so wrong that makes your family and your so-called friends just stop communicating when I ask if they're going to come visit soon they all have excuses oh I can't I'm too… Continue

Posted on July 2, 2017 at 2:41pm — 3 Comments

Comment Wall (3 comments)

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At 9:23am on December 28, 2016, Jarvis said…

Hi,  you may wish to check out the following link.  It's from Dr. Oz.  Let me know what you think of his suggestions.  http://www.oprah.com/health/Dr-Oz-All-Natural-Cures-for-Anxiety

At 10:05pm on November 12, 2016, Lisa said…
Please know that you are not alone. Nights are difficult with thoughts racing and wanting to sleep but you can't. I have to tell myself over and over to let the thoughts go. It's not easy but you made a promise to your husband and he wants you to be ok. Let me know how you are, please.
At 12:47pm on November 12, 2016, Fran said…

Pamela, I share your pain. My husband's diagnosis seems similar to your husband's. Not discovered for way too long and then much too late. Stage IV lung cancer. Just passed 2 years since he died. It's only now that I am starting to feel much of anything. He suffered for 8 or 9 months after the official diagnosis...but we were told it had probably been there for 4 years already. And that's what I don't understand...he'd been thru a couple of surgeries including a nose surgery just a month before diagnosis...why wasn't it discovered earlier? Anyhow, now I have to handle all the "little things" that he would've done. He survived to our 27th anniversary. Decisions were joint or he'd make it based on some input from me. It's taken me this long to just decide to repaint our bedroom! For me, finding myself, finding out what I want without any input from him , well, I'm just lost! I don't know who I am without him. I have 2 adult children who live with me and help keep things going, without them I'd be even worse. I have friends who are more supportive than my siblings. Thank God for them. Anyhow Pamela, we continue because we must.  Know that you are not alone on this forum. We all hurt. We all support each other thru this "new normal".

 
 
 

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Grieving Teens

This group is for anyone who lost their parents at a young age. I lost my dad to cancer a week before the start of my senior year. It's been difficult. Quite frankly it sucks. Lets join together and get through this crappy time.
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I love my Dad.

For everyone that has lost their Dad.
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yesterday
Robin H left a comment for Robin H
"Hey There People, most of the comments look kinda old here... Are they?"
Tuesday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Lia, losing your mom is hard enough. When you also lived with her that takes it to a whole different level because you didn't experience the natural separation that other adults do. That's sure what happened to me. I lived with my mom and…"
Monday
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Monday
Lia Lynch commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Thank you everyone. My mom had refused to see doctors for seven years; she feel ill, finally went, was diagnosed with Stage IV metastasized cancer in her throat, lung, and liver, went directly to hospice, and died less than 4 weeks from the initial…"
Monday
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi Lia,  So sorry for your loss.  Similar to others, I can understand your pain. I wish comfort to you but I know it is not easy. Please take your time.  All people, I was travelling so could not post for long. This is to tell that I…"
Monday
Geri commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"Hi Everyone, This Friday 21st September will be our 27th wedding anniversary. It is my first without my husband and I've noticed my anxiety peaking and I'm back to waking every hour. Has anyone got any advice of how to cope with all the…"
Monday
Ofir Rifo replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Thank you Layla Richards. I was very religious before my husband died, Then after his death I started searching why we have to go thru such pains and was looking into everything. Then after reading the Bible, the Torah, the Koran and more religious…"
Monday
Linda Engberg commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"Hi Pamela, So sorry about the lost of your Husband, it has been 5 years and to be truthful things are not any better. We were very close, he was my rock, now I am nothing."
Sunday
Suzy Tatz commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"I am new to this. I lost my dad June 7 2018 to lung cancer and my fiancé on Aug. 6. 2018 to colon cancer. I was caretaker to both and now I can’t stand being in my own skin. I have the panic feelings when I am alone. So I have been self…"
Sunday
Suzy Tatz joined Katherine Ellis's group
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Losing Someone to Cancer

This is for anyone who has lost somone to cancer. I lost my adopted Mom to breast cancer some years ago. She was everything I could have asked for. She loved me because I was just me. She also loved my family and children as if they were her own.See More
Sunday
Layla Richards replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"That is some great advice Ofir Rifo. Also, bluebird, something that helped me a lot was reading through the thousands of stories contributed by individuals who had a near-death experience or received an after death communication from a passed loved…"
Sunday
Ofir Rifo replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"ANA BECOAH BY ovadia chamama. Miracle prayer even for those who do not believe in anything. It will act as a password and will open the universe who will answer your petition. Please bluebird just try the same way a tried and it worked. Remember you…"
Sunday
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Lia I am so sorry for your loss. Bluebell"
Sunday
Ofir Rifo replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Bluebird please go to you tube in listen to a song called Ana Becoh by Ovadiada Chamama. This song will act as a password to the universe. You do not need to believe in any religion but It worked for me and I am an agnostic. I lost my husband 21…"
Sunday
Ofir Rifo replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Hello Bluebird. I always remember you and wonder how you are doing since the last time I wrote to you for the first time when I found this blog. It has been a while and I was hoping by this time you were doing better. Please understand that you will…"
Sunday

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