Pamela philipp's Blog (8)

permanent grief

it has been three years and four months since i lost my mom 9-6-2015 and my husband  9-14-2015 and the overwhelming grief is unbearable also my husbands birthday is on the 20th of this month i don't know how much longer i can hold on,also i have so much added stress from people telling me i have to move on don't they understand that i may look okay on the outside but i am shattered inside i have been numb for so long i feel like i'm in a horrific nightmare nothing makes any sense any more i…

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Added by Pamela philipp on January 16, 2019 at 11:49am — No Comments

I need advice

I have been very stressed and upset my daughter came back to my house for a while until she and her family gets on their feet which is not the problem the problem is she has made me get all the things that are important to me out of the house and put in the garage pictures mementos etc. because she thinks that I need to move on she said because it has been three years and she does not understand how she is upsetting me I don't want to be in this house like this anymore how do I make her…

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Added by Pamela philipp on November 18, 2018 at 3:24pm — 5 Comments

still broken

it has been three years today since I lost the love of my life, and I am just as broken today as the day my wonderful husband left this world, I have had so many people tell me time will heal you and you will be ok that is an absolute lie the only thing that has happened is I feel like I'm in this horrible nightmare and can't wake up, days go by then months then years but you are still lost there is no getting over it as people say the family I thought would be there also a lie I am alone…

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Added by Pamela philipp on September 14, 2018 at 12:54pm — 1 Comment

Alone

I lost my mother on 9/6/15 then eight days later on 9/14/15 I lost my husband and 2 1/2 years later I am so lost the heartache is more unbearable every day and I feel like I have been in this horrific nightmare and I can’t wake up I have never felt so much pain ever in my life people keep telling me in time you will be ok but honestly I know that’s not true I know im just existing I stopped living when my whole world turned upside down I don’t know how to keep going I just pretend every day…

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Added by Pamela philipp on June 4, 2018 at 3:55pm — 5 Comments

Empty

It's been 2 years since I lost my mother and my husband and I am still lost and still very much alone in my grief I haven't been on this site in a while I've been trying to get by every day it's not working too well I'm struggling really really hard my family is still not around I guess they think I am OK that I'm doing fine little do theyknow that I'm not they are coming to my house this Saturday for a cook out because it's something my mother wanted me to do that's the only reason I agreed to… Continue

Added by Pamela philipp on September 25, 2017 at 9:20am — 2 Comments

Lost

In September it will be two years since I lost my mother 9-6-15 and my husband 9-14-15 and since they left my family absolutely abandoned me no one talks to me no one seems to care if I'm OK all my friends that say they're my friends are liars they never talk to me either and it makes me start to wonder what the hell did I do so wrong that makes your family and your so-called friends just stop communicating when I ask if they're going to come visit soon they all have excuses oh I can't I'm too… Continue

Added by Pamela philipp on July 2, 2017 at 2:41pm — 3 Comments

Trouble sleeping still

Does anybody else have trouble sleeping I can't seem to fall sleep I'm up night after night really really late usually wind up crying myself to sleep but no matter how tired I am I just don't sleep does anyone else have that problem i've had this problem since my husband got sick and it seems to of gotten worse almost 14 months he's been gone

Added by Pamela philipp on November 12, 2016 at 8:06pm — 9 Comments

I feel like I have the plague

My mom and husband passed within eight days of each other in September of 2015. And now for the last year all my family has left me completely alone they don't call why is it when you lose someone like that everyone disappears all the people that said they were going to be there for you is not don't they understand how hurtful that is how do you handle that ???

Added by Pamela philipp on October 8, 2016 at 1:00pm — 1 Comment

Latest Activity

dream moon JO B replied to dream moon JO B's discussion mad at god
"evry now agan i still loss my way i do"
Thursday
Kim Darichuk is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Wednesday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Today we Remember 9/11. I can't even imagine the terror and heartbreak the families must still have. Losing my Husband Julian under normal circumstances was bad enough.  God Bless all the people that still suffer from this horrible…"
Wednesday
Trina Mamoon commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Dear Morgan, Thanks so very much for your supportive letter. Sorry i didn't see it before. I replied to it just now, Sending you love and good wishes."
Tuesday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Thank you friends for sharing your thoughts. I don't know what I do, if I didn't have this place to come to. We are all suffering and the real world just doesn't understand what we are going through. I miss the tender touch of my…"
Tuesday
Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I have nothing that I want to or have to, to keep me busy except doing what I'm doing which has to have something to do with Her.  Like yesterday, I found a small  3/4 X 2 1/2 inch bottle with a cork when I went to the dollar store…"
Tuesday
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Trina, Check your inbox for a message from me. Joe,  So true.  That's exactly why I post here too.  I keep thinking if I get it off my chest and out into cyberspace at least I know I wont be suffering alone.  That consoles…"
Tuesday
Trina Mamoon commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hello All, I am sorry that I have not posted here for a while now to show my support for you. On August 4th it was the fifth anniversary of Joseph's passing. I just don't have the strength or energy anymore to keep pushing to survive each…"
Monday
Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I'm in the 19th month and don't know what to say, except that the only time I'm not living this horrible nightmare is when I sleep and don't dream at all.  Even when I post in a way to try to console anyone here, in a way,…"
Monday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Morgan, Once again I want to Thank You for sharing you thoughts with us. You put into words the things I don't know how to express."
Monday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi, I don't mean to be a downer, but I am not sure there is an end to our grief. I know mine is still going strong. I wish the good things in my life were as consistent as this is. We have to keep moving though. Keep taking baby steps. Assay…"
Sep 8
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"John T,   I saw your post late late last night.  I see you are still doing your best to cope. I remember a time that I wasn't even coping. I was barely standing.  After six years seven months I have become anesthetized.…"
Sep 8
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi All, Today I suddenly had grief all over the day. I miss my mother a lot and it seems that there is no end to this grief. Hope I meet her someday when I leave this world.  Just wanted to share my feelings here because people around me…"
Sep 8
Profile IconBev R, Kelly Darnell and Wil McGregor joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Sep 8
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"John, We are blessed to have this wonderful group to come to and share our grief."
Sep 8
Nancy commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Thinking of you John T.  I understand.  "
Sep 7
John T. replied to Elynn m's discussion Lonely again
"5 years since my wife died suddenly of heart failure right in front of me.  The time since that day has been just awful and when I reached this anniversary, I just couldn't believe it.  All I think about is all the years ahead without…"
Sep 7
John T. commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Yesterday was the 5th anniversary of the death of my wife.  I spent the day unable to believe it has been 5 years but somewhat surprised at how well I handled the day.  Today I have kept having outbursts of crying and overwhelming memories…"
Sep 7
Emmyk replied to Amy R's discussion So many questions in the group Being the Other Woman/Other Man
"That is horrific for you. Im so sorry. Just know yoy aren't alone. Know we dont think you are some kind of monster and know that we validate what you guys had and the love that existed there. Try not to fixate on the particulars that you have…"
Sep 4
Joe Kelly left a comment for Maria
"Maria, The only comfort I can possibly provide is that your mother and father are blissfully reunited eternally in spirit.  I lost my wife to cancer over 18 months ago.  We were together since age 16 and would had celebrated our 50th…"
Sep 3

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