it has been three years and four months since i lost my mom 9-6-2015 and my husband  9-14-2015 and the overwhelming grief is unbearable also my husbands birthday is on the 20th of this month i don't know how much longer i can hold on,also i have so much added stress from people telling me i have to move on don't they understand that i may look okay on the outside but i am shattered inside i have been numb for so long i feel like i'm in a horrific nightmare nothing makes any sense any more i am defeated the grief and sadness is just getting worse i miss my mom and my i miss my husband so much i woke up today was going to make plans for my husbands birthday then i realized what i was doing and just wanted to scream i just don't  think i can handle this anymore if it wasn't for the promise i made to my husband i would just be done even keeping that promise is getting harder I am so lost!!!!!! this pretending to be okay is wearing thin but I don't dare show any emotion around anyone I know because then I get that look that I hate I just don't know how to live with this permanent grief 

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Diana Young, LD/N, GC-C, ORDMDiana is a Certified Grief Counselor with The American Institute of Health Care Professionals, Inc since 2015. She is also a licensed Dietitian/Nutritionist for 30 years specializing in weight management, diabetes care, the mind diet and healthy eating. Diana created the popular website OnlineGriefSupport.com in 2008 with over 15,000 members.  Currently She facilitates a virtual grief support group weekly. Previously Diana worked for Cornerstone Hospice, providing…See More
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