it has been three years and four months since i lost my mom 9-6-2015 and my husband  9-14-2015 and the overwhelming grief is unbearable also my husbands birthday is on the 20th of this month i don't know how much longer i can hold on,also i have so much added stress from people telling me i have to move on don't they understand that i may look okay on the outside but i am shattered inside i have been numb for so long i feel like i'm in a horrific nightmare nothing makes any sense any more i am defeated the grief and sadness is just getting worse i miss my mom and my i miss my husband so much i woke up today was going to make plans for my husbands birthday then i realized what i was doing and just wanted to scream i just don't  think i can handle this anymore if it wasn't for the promise i made to my husband i would just be done even keeping that promise is getting harder I am so lost!!!!!! this pretending to be okay is wearing thin but I don't dare show any emotion around anyone I know because then I get that look that I hate I just don't know how to live with this permanent grief 

Views: 25

Comment

You need to be a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community to add comments!

Join Online Grief Support - A Social Community

Groups

Latest Activity

MarieSte updated their profile
16 hours ago
ALEXIS is now friends with Brenda Ann and Michael Thompson
yesterday
Karolien joined Karen's group
Thumbnail

I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....
yesterday
Karolien updated their profile
yesterday
Lynn Williams commented on Kar's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Thinking of everyone here with love"
yesterday
Connie K commented on Kar's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"It's been so long since I've been here. Somehow I don't get notifications anymore. And from November til after y sin' birthday March 31 I just want to run away and disengage with the world. But I think of you all and send you…"
yesterday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I envy people also Brett that have a loving support system to help them through what we are going through. God is love and he wants us to be compassionate and kind, and he will always be by our side. I believe that"
yesterday
Holly Baldwin joined Jon-Paul Ackerman's group
yesterday
Holly Baldwin is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Monday
joe kelly replied to Jade Rogers's discussion Hi!
"Dear Jade, I wish I had some advice for you because when I sign in, I notice that you often sign in I guess to check if anything new has been posted.  Being lonely after losing your Love after so many years together is a major part of all who…"
Monday
Dennis C. and Virginia G are now friends
Monday
Virginia G replied to Pamela philipp's discussion Defeated
"I feel the same.  The website doesn’t help because we aren’t talking and around people in person.  That isn’t even enough when people are willing to talk and most don’t have time for me."
Monday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"You are right. I became conditioned with my mom. Every health crisis that my mom would have was traumatic for me. And then there would be that ray of light. I would have mom safe at home once again. I developed some false hope. But as time passed…"
Monday
M Adams commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Baby steps is such a good metaphor — I think when we’ve been traumatized by terrible loss, many of us lose our resilience, and basically have to baby ourselves, setting very tiny goals and challenges, slowly working our way forward.…"
Sunday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Theresa, it's hard for me to be positive about anything. I always feel like something bad is right around the corner. That's because every time I thought mom was safe and had cleared another hurdle, something else would go wrong. It's…"
Saturday
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"It's been a little bit since I shared but it seems like I'm just stuck, out of sync with everything included myself in a way.  It's been like one long endless day.  I don't know how to explain it even.  I'm…"
Saturday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Monty, For some of us, we will always remain out of sync with the rest of world. We, like myself. live in our own universe."
Saturday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett you are right that is the "dark" side, it scares me too That is so great about the phone call from the directors at the center, that must have made you feel like a million bucks.   You are making a positive impact, I know…"
Saturday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi, I actually looked up the EquoVox. I couldn't find an English link for it. I'll keep looking. I'm just really curious how it works. And I want you to make your own decisions. I just want you to be happy."
Saturday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"M, I'm half Catholic, and Theresa is 100% Catholic. This is a huge part of Catholicism. Ouiji boards just scare the crap out of me. I listened to a lecture series from a Vatican exorcists. There was a question and answer period. Someone asked…"
Saturday

© 2019   Created by Ninja.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service