Losing Someone to Cancer

Information

Losing Someone to Cancer

This is for anyone who has lost somone to cancer. I lost my adopted Mom to breast cancer some years ago. She was everything I could have asked for. She loved me because I was just me. She also loved my family and children as if they were her own.

Members: 612
Latest Activity: 2 hours ago

Discussion Forum

I feel worse 2 and a half years on, than I ever did. 11 Replies

Started by Michael Thompson. Last reply by morgan May 12, 2019.

Give yourself time to heal

Started by Felicia Evans May 8, 2018.

Still lost and broken 2 Replies

Started by Pamela philipp. Last reply by Pamela philipp Jan 5, 2018.

Comment Wall

Comment

You need to be a member of Losing Someone to Cancer to add comments!

Comment by dream moon JO B 3 hours ago

hi

joel ther is a few gay gropups on hear 

for

lgbs

thy is 

but evry 1 is welcim on hear 

sorry on yore loss

all u need to do is look it diffrnt foremss on hear it will lead u 2 stuff it will hlp u it will

Comment by Joel 8 hours ago
Hi all. I was just wondering if there is any other Gay Men Widows on this support Group. The death of my partner Gareth has almost been 3 years June this year. I’m still grieving. The grieve the 1st year was me just sad depressed lonely I had a friend stay with me the first two weeks after the funeral I really needed that. But then when he left to go home the reality sets in evan more the years daily and nightly the stages of grieve the guilt,Anger all off the stages come flooding in. Know one tells you how to cope with such a loss. Year went by with me just existing really. Gareth has 4 children from another relationship long time ago. So I focused on them fir almost a year plus I travelled back and fourth to Jamaica 3 -4 times somewhere we both went. It took my mind of the grieve. However I have found now after almost 3 years I was just running away from the truth the grieve. I do say to people I was still grieving but I needed go through this my way. The anniversary’s come and go quickly. I noticed I drank a lot more 3-4 times per week to get through the pain loneliness. Not good for your health I know but the alternative was anti depressants and I don’t like them. I would say if it gets too much for anyone to seek medical advice and try the medication as I do know it eases and helps the suffering. So cut long story short I’m a Gay Widow suffer with OCD. I feel I don’t have a future now as I feel I focused and gave all my energy to Gareth fir the 12 years we were together. I really don’t think I would be up for all that again. No way. And I know people say get out there enjoy your life he wouldn’t want you to be sad and Lonely and I understand that how every I really don’t want it. I have had feelings fir people don’t get me wrong do I know it can happen. I personally just don’t want to. I promote anyone if they do get a chance to have happiness again go for it. Anyway I think I’ve gone on enough hope you guys find your peace and happiness again. It’s only us that can do it. Yes support is great and that’s why I felt I needed to get on this group just in the end it comes down to us to get back on our feet and put one step in-front of the other easier said than done I know.
Comment by M Adams yesterday

Thanks so much, St Brigid, for putting Surprised by Joy here, good to read it again, it’s really evocative of a particular kind of intensely passionate grief.  

Title made me think of a very different work by C.S. Lewis, also called Surprised by Joy, and that led me to recall another of his books, A Grief Observed, which he wrote after losing his beloved wife.  That book might be of interest to you, if you’re up to reading that sort of material — I found it helpful in my bereavement.  

Comment by St. Brigid on March 30, 2020 at 8:40am

Surprised by Joy

Surprised by joy—impatient as the Wind
I turned to share the transport—Oh! with whom
But Thee, long buried in the silent Tomb,
That spot which no vicissitude can find?
Love, faithful love, recalled thee to my mind—
But how could I forget thee?—Through what power,
Even for the least division of an hour,
Have I been so beguiled as to be blind
To my most grievous loss!—That thought’s return
Was the worst pang that sorrow ever bore,
Save one, one only, when I stood forlorn,
Knowing my heart’s best treasure was no more;
That neither present time, nor years unborn
Could to my sight that heavenly face restore.
Comment by Joe Kelly on March 29, 2020 at 7:31pm

St. Brigid,

Sorry for your loss.  I too feel so alone, sad, empty and lost.  I lost my darling wife over two years ago and as time goes by, I get worse.  I wait for death to be reunited with her in her realm and the sooner the better.  We spent all but the first 15 years of our life together, married at 19 for 48 years.  She gave me the most wonderful life a man can have.  I live in HELL now waiting.  We have 4 children and 8 grands and with this virus, I can't even visit for fear of getting them sick.  Our cemetery closed to visitors on March 21st. I had been going there every day since she passed over.  So here I sit alone with only calls from my children.  I'm grateful for the 17 years we spent as empty nesters and the last 8 years retired, together 24/7/365 joined at the hip.  We traveled a lot, golfed together often, and were like teen aged lovers.  All I do is suffer and wait for the cancer I think I have or this virus to come and get me and take me to her.

I'm sorry you had to find your way here but know you are not alone here.  We all feel the pain and share our feelings (mostly despair), so post often.  We don't judge here; we identify with each others feelings.

Joe   

Comment by St. Brigid on March 29, 2020 at 5:14pm

I just finished up everything with my once in a lifetime's friends estate. I spent two and half months in TX, a thousand miles away from friends and family dealing with it. Now, paperwork filed away, estate lawyer paid, bills taken care, it and his life is over. It is so final I couldn't be more devastated and alone. I try to call him several times a day like we always talked, but since I have his phone, all I hear is empty ringing across the house. Impossible to bear sometimes that he isn't going to call back.

I write in a small notebook my thoughts when I have them, my feelings when I feel them, but nothing has been coming to me in the past five days but pure utter despair. It is the worst it has been since I sent him off on Dec. 20th. I expected this to be harder when I got home than it was in his house in Texas but couldn't have anticipated this.

Now with the COVID-19 going around, the people I could turn to a month ago are now in such panic, such pain, such grief for the change in the world, that I have no one to turn to. Even my therapist can only talk about the virus. I am lost and alone. I think to call David who I didn't see for 13 years until I saw him in the ICU dying and sometimes I do call; since I have his cell here up and running for bill contacts, I will it hear it ring on the kitchen table and then I remember..Our twice or thrice a day phone chats are over and I can only hear his voice in my head.

I feel so alone. So sad. So empty. So lost.

Comment by dream moon JO B on March 25, 2020 at 5:00pm

hi

evry

1

still

hatee

big

c

now

hate

ths

evil

viris

we

got

now

Comment by Linda Engberg on August 23, 2019 at 5:32am

Hi Dream Moon,

I hate the big C also.

Comment by dream moon JO B on August 22, 2019 at 6:02pm

i hateeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

bigc

i hateeeeeeeeeeeeee lozzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz coz of big c

im 44 sean somushh siffin sorry if im rantin justt i need 2 let go coz of big c lpluss othr illness 2 i do 

Comment by dream moon JO B on August 22, 2019 at 5:59pm

i do not luv bigc

now iv fw mro frinds its got termil big c sum few yrs oldr thnme just undr 50 

few peppel weari livs gotbig c'

wish i cud shoot big c lk dem/ALZ in to md of nowear sp no 1 cud get it'

 

Members (612)

 
 
 

Latest Activity

Wendy joined donna's group
Thumbnail

Losing SomeoneTo Murder

For people who have lost a loved one to murder.
32 minutes ago
Wendy joined Amy's group
Thumbnail

You're too young to be a widow

I never thought that I would be a widow in my forties.  My friends can't relate and feel the need to comment on everything, even if they have no experience with grief.  I know they mean well but only we know what we are going though.See More
34 minutes ago
Wendy joined Kate's group
Thumbnail

Homicide Survivors Group

I'm starting this group in hopes that people who come to oninegriefsupport in the U.S.  can share in their experiences and grief for homicide related deaths. There are tons of support grief services for cancer, alzheimers, loss of children, suicide, ..I could go on. But there are not many support groups for homicide related issues. With the growing gun-related deaths, I thought it would be prudent to create this small sub-group here.I know that grief is very unique and it shouldn't be compared…See More
36 minutes ago
Wendy replied to Nicole's discussion Lost my husband the father of my kids and bestfriend . in the group Lost My Spouse...
"I too lost my husband, the father of my three sons, in June unexpectedly. I would have never imagined being a widow. As it is still relatively new for me as well, I don’t know the answer as to whether it gets easier. I can only hope and pray…"
47 minutes ago
Wendy posted a discussion

New Member

My name is Wendy and I am a relatively new member. I lost my husband of 27 years, June 8th, 2019 to homicide. He was one of five lives that were lost in a mass killing in White Swan, WA. He was the love of my life. The circumstances surrounding his death are still surreal to me. During the initial months that followed that horrific day, my three Sons and I were only provided details of his murder through national media coverage. A life that was very private became very public knowledge as my…See More
57 minutes ago
Diana, Certified Grief Counselor replied to Diana, Certified Grief Counselor's discussion Coronavirus, COVID-19, Let's Talk
"Yes, it's making everyone anxious.  I'm glad you are only in contact with your friends via phone or video calls.  Stay safe."
1 hour ago
dream moon JO B replied to Diana, Certified Grief Counselor's discussion Coronavirus, COVID-19, Let's Talk
"v 1 or 2 frindss its fitin ths viriss  pluss efect my anxstyy levilss ev n frindss famlyy but only keep in contactt by fon or vidio carlss"
1 hour ago
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hello Anna, Loved your post, thanks for sharing. I have refused to accept the death of my Husband, because he is not dead, he lives in a much better world than I do. When we took our weeding vows, we left out to death do us part, because death will…"
2 hours ago

© 2020   Created by Ninja.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service