Losing Someone to Cancer

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Losing Someone to Cancer

This is for anyone who has lost somone to cancer. I lost my adopted Mom to breast cancer some years ago. She was everything I could have asked for. She loved me because I was just me. She also loved my family and children as if they were her own.

Members: 602
Latest Activity: on Monday

Discussion Forum

Give yourself time to heal

Started by Felicia Evans May 8.

I feel worse 2 and a half years on, than I ever did. 7 Replies

Started by Michael Thompson. Last reply by Ginger Apr 17.

Still lost and broken 2 Replies

Started by Pamela philipp. Last reply by Pamela philipp Jan 5.

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Comment by Geri on Monday

Hi Everyone,

This Friday 21st September will be our 27th wedding anniversary. It is my first without my husband and I've noticed my anxiety peaking and I'm back to waking every hour. Has anyone got any advice of how to cope with all the firsts? I'm trying to do one day at a time but struggling with thoughts of Christmas and his birthday.

I miss him with such a heaviness and longing in my heart that I am unable to breathe when I cry now. I feel grief is taking me backwards where I'm questioning, bargaining and reverting to being angry again. Still questioning my purpose, why him and not me.

Comment by Linda Engberg on September 16, 2018 at 3:02pm

Hi Pamela,

So sorry about the lost of your Husband, it has been 5 years and to be truthful things are not any better. We were very close, he was my rock, now I am nothing.

Comment by Suzy Tatz on September 16, 2018 at 1:43pm

I am new to this. I lost my dad June 7 2018 to lung cancer and my fiancé on Aug. 6. 2018 to colon cancer. I was caretaker to both and now I can’t stand being in my own skin. I have the panic feelings when I am alone. So I have been self destructive. John , my fiancé, was not a drinker so I rarely drank, now I am drunk every night, I have been sleeping with his best friend and I am just a mess. I miss them both so much but John was my true soulmate. Did anyone else go down this road? How do you get out of it. Everyone tells me I m the strongest person they know, I don’t feel it right now. I can’t get myself to just feel. I have no clue who I am because the last 6 years was all about John. 

Comment by Pamela philipp on September 13, 2018 at 2:30pm

tomorrow September 14th 2018 will be three years since I lost my husband and I feel just as lost and broken as I did the day he left I miss him so much life is so empty without him no amount of time will ever ease the heartbreak I feel every day I still cry myself to sleep every night I am alone and I just don't understand why I'm still here as more time goes by the more I don't want to be here  

Comment by Michael Thompson on July 19, 2018 at 4:00am

Hello everybody.  Roughly a year after my wife died of Bowel Cancer following a 22 year marriage, we married in 1992, my wife died in 2014, I decided to write an article to my local paper about grief from the left behind spouses point of view, whilst also playing tribute to my late wife, Pamela Ann Thompson.  I released before I started writing that I had to write my article in such a way as to not take away the fact that the person lying in the hospital bed was the real victim here.  This article came about because on visiting my wife, irrespective of other visitors, friends family ect, that may have been there also, just how lonely, isolated, and alone I felt as my wife's husband, and so I just knew I had to write to my local paper about how losing a wife or a husband affects those left behind.  Here is that article, with a picture of my late wife, and the little Yorkie on her lap remains with me.  

Comment by Linda Engberg on June 20, 2018 at 6:28am

Trina,

I agree with your post, that I will not be reunited with my Husband

Julian if I take my own live and I would devastate my family.

All we can do is wait for our time to come, which I hope is soon.  

Comment by Trina Mamoon on June 19, 2018 at 12:54pm

Linda, these simple words say it all. Love for our departed soulmate is what creates grief. Thanks for posting.

Comment by Linda Engberg on June 19, 2018 at 6:15am

Comment by Trina Mamoon on June 18, 2018 at 6:05pm

On the topic of suicide, there are two reasons that I have not contemplated taking my own life. One of them is that I cannot allow myself to leave my loved ones to deal with the trauma and heartbreak if I were to commit suicide. In my opinion, it would be unconscionable to do so. And the other reason is that in my faith too, suicide would bar me from reuniting with Joseph. I simply CANNOT run that risk. It is already hell on earth for me, I don't want to jeopardize my afterlife, my eternal life with Joseph by taking my own life. I'll just have to be patient and live out this sorry existence to the end.

I am only too aware that a just and loving God would not punish His/Her creation by disallowing us reunion with our loved one/s in the afterlife, but if God were always just and loving, He/She would not subject us to the kind of spiritual and emotional torture that we-- members on this site--experience daily, and neither would there be war, poverty, famine, child mortality, and a disease like cancer. Therefore, I simply cannot run the risk of committing suicide and take away the possibility of meeting up with Joseph when I die. I can't wait for that day when I will join my beloved darling Joseph on the other side! Please God, let it come soon!

Comment by Trina Mamoon on June 18, 2018 at 5:51pm

Dear Geraldine,

Very sorry to hear that you are having another anxiety-filled day. Lately, I am having more of the depression attacks, with more frequency and more intensity. This living hell is just unbearable! When will this all end? 

Sending you vibes of comfort and prayers for your peace.

Hugs, Trina

 

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Profile IconMichelle, Winnie and Katerah joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
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I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....
yesterday
Profile IconAndrea, Jillian Bartrall and Cynthia Garcia Buckles joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
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Thursday
Emily joined Megan's group
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Grieving Teens

This group is for anyone who lost their parents at a young age. I lost my dad to cancer a week before the start of my senior year. It's been difficult. Quite frankly it sucks. Lets join together and get through this crappy time.
Wednesday
Emily joined Jarvis's group
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I love my Dad.

For everyone that has lost their Dad.
Wednesday
Profile IconMarion Mcglashon, Bandar killa and Emily joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Tuesday
Robin H left a comment for Robin H
"Hey There People, most of the comments look kinda old here... Are they?"
Tuesday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Lia, losing your mom is hard enough. When you also lived with her that takes it to a whole different level because you didn't experience the natural separation that other adults do. That's sure what happened to me. I lived with my mom and…"
Monday
Profile IconCorinne C. Rico, Rita A M, Marisa L Galeoti and 1 more joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Monday
Louise Grady updated their profile
Monday
Lia Lynch commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Thank you everyone. My mom had refused to see doctors for seven years; she feel ill, finally went, was diagnosed with Stage IV metastasized cancer in her throat, lung, and liver, went directly to hospice, and died less than 4 weeks from the initial…"
Monday
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi Lia,  So sorry for your loss.  Similar to others, I can understand your pain. I wish comfort to you but I know it is not easy. Please take your time.  All people, I was travelling so could not post for long. This is to tell that I…"
Monday
Geri commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"Hi Everyone, This Friday 21st September will be our 27th wedding anniversary. It is my first without my husband and I've noticed my anxiety peaking and I'm back to waking every hour. Has anyone got any advice of how to cope with all the…"
Monday
Ofir Rifo replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Thank you Layla Richards. I was very religious before my husband died, Then after his death I started searching why we have to go thru such pains and was looking into everything. Then after reading the Bible, the Torah, the Koran and more religious…"
Sep 16
Linda Engberg commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"Hi Pamela, So sorry about the lost of your Husband, it has been 5 years and to be truthful things are not any better. We were very close, he was my rock, now I am nothing."
Sep 16
Suzy Tatz commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"I am new to this. I lost my dad June 7 2018 to lung cancer and my fiancé on Aug. 6. 2018 to colon cancer. I was caretaker to both and now I can’t stand being in my own skin. I have the panic feelings when I am alone. So I have been self…"
Sep 16
Suzy Tatz joined Katherine Ellis's group
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Losing Someone to Cancer

This is for anyone who has lost somone to cancer. I lost my adopted Mom to breast cancer some years ago. She was everything I could have asked for. She loved me because I was just me. She also loved my family and children as if they were her own.See More
Sep 16
Layla Richards replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"That is some great advice Ofir Rifo. Also, bluebird, something that helped me a lot was reading through the thousands of stories contributed by individuals who had a near-death experience or received an after death communication from a passed loved…"
Sep 16

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