Losing Someone to Cancer


Losing Someone to Cancer

This is for anyone who has lost somone to cancer. I lost my adopted Mom to breast cancer some years ago. She was everything I could have asked for. She loved me because I was just me. She also loved my family and children as if they were her own.

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Latest Activity: on Wednesday

Discussion Forum

Delayed Response 4 Replies

Started by Shayna. Last reply by Lisa Kelley Apr 17.

New Here But Not New To Grief 1 Reply

Started by Poppy. Last reply by Debbie Apr 9.

Questioning Everything 7 Replies

Started by Ashlie Bishop. Last reply by Trina Mamoon Mar 30.

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Comment by kathleen akin on Wednesday

thanks for responding Laurie. It's strange for me to think like I do, must be getting older that does it. I went through a horrible divorce 20 years ago after being with this person for 23 years. I thought I would die, I didn't. I thought I would never be happy again, but I did MUCH later when I met my wonderful Rocky.

It seems different now for some reason and all I can think why is that I'm older and less optimistic of things turning around. Plus I don't have 3 kids to take care of anymore. I just have pets. And I've lost a lot of interest in them lately which is upsetting as I was so devoted to them and they need me and I'm trying to make that have meaning.

I think its the age thing. And being alone? I don't know, I'm rambling. I'm so lost. And scared. I need to turn this around somehow.

Comment by Laurie on Wednesday
Hi Kathleen
My heart aches for you. My husband died March 13, 2013 from pancreatic cancer. It was horrible watching him waste away. Seven months after he was diagnosed he passed away holding my hand. We'd only been married for seven years,although we'd been together for 25, so yes his family crap was there too.
Even though I wanted to slap the s**t out of everyone who told me it would get better, that's what I want to say to you. The first year is just existing, but sometime after you start to notice little things. And those things start to build into whole hours and days without feeling like dying. Around year two you'll start to look outside of your pain to find a way to live again.
I know that you'd like to scream at this right now, believe me, I did too. But hold on, the sun will shine again
Comment by kathleen akin on Wednesday

Had an over the phone "session" with a therapist last night. I know she was just trying to be helpful...but it was so much yada yada yada.....bla bla bla. "be at peace and have acceptance"

I can't accept. I don't want to BE if he is not here. But I don't want him to know this. I don't want him to worry or be in pain. I want to take all of it onto myself since I'm already in a shit hole here and will never climb out without him.

I don't know why I'm grieving so hard when he's still here, but I am.

Comment by JO B alexio on Monday

big c gets me so mad had a lot of loss coz of it 

Comment by Michael C. Ramsey on Monday

It was 6 months ago today that my beautiful wife Andrea was taken from me. I go through the motions of life but the hole inside me is ever present.  I make plans but don't follow through, I avoid people because being around them brings up memories that cause the tears to flow. I've been forgetful, moody and downright mean at times. I will stay the course because she would want me to but I will dream of the day we are reunited. Sweet Dreams My Love.

Comment by James Quinn on April 19, 2015 at 4:19pm

Its been seven months since the love of my life died of cancer i have been in hell ,stress,weight gain, insomnia,depression, I don.t want to be here . I will not do anything as i do not want to hurt family in a way i am trapped there is a large family gathering next week family are coming from every where even over seas .I really do not want to go as the last time i went my soul mate was with me this time i am alone large groups make me feel uncomfortable i tend to hide away  since my wife died ,I do see siblings and stay at times only to stop going mad and dark thoughts.    

Comment by Michael Thompson on April 18, 2015 at 3:30am

Katleen Akin, I share your anxieties.  People who havent been there, dont know how it feels.  I have sent you a friend request.

Comment by kathleen akin on April 18, 2015 at 1:22am
I'm crying all the time now. So scared of the future I'm having a tough time being in the present while Rocky is still here. I don't want to do that but I don't know how to stop it. I even yelled at him yesterday for getting sick and dying and leaving me. How can I be so awful? I don't deserve him. I want to go with him. I'm going to go with him. I'm not going to be brave and go on when he goes what would the point of that be? I'm scared of a future without him in it I don't even know what that looks like. I don't know why I'm this way...I will hurt my kids but I just don't care.
Comment by Lisa Kelley on April 17, 2015 at 8:21pm

I lost my dad 19 years ago,  when I was 12, to lung cancer. 95% of the time,  I'm fine. ..I mean,  I've lived more of my life without him than the time that I had with him. But I have days still sometimes  that I miss him so much that it's  hard to breathe.  I admit that I spent years drinking  and  using drugs and really  never "processed" my loss. But is this normal  that I still miss him this much??

Comment by Michael Thompson on April 17, 2015 at 8:54am

Hi, I lost my wife in September last year 2014 to cancer, , she had Bowel cancer, we were marred 22 years.  She was my best friend and soul mate, frankly I wish I could fast forward 5, 10, 15 years ect and get the hell out of it....


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Dianne M. commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
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Mark posted blog posts
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Elizabeth posted a discussion

Im so sorry

Im so sorry ,that I get so negative and so down at times .I would like to heal and recover from this mess.Carol Ann was the only good thing I had going in my entire life.The problem was I never knew love in my young life ...than when love came my way i did not know what to make of it or how to treat Carol Ann. We had 5 good years than I messed up real bad.The first time I was in an apartment in Palm Springs Ca.I was always a loner because thats the way I knew how to keep safe.Than Carol Ann…See More
13 hours ago
tiffiny posted a status
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19 hours ago
tiffiny replied to Ellen Paciella's discussion Anyone else going through the pain of losing a sibing? in the group Losing a sibling
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