Losing Someone to Cancer

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Losing Someone to Cancer

This is for anyone who has lost somone to cancer. I lost my adopted Mom to breast cancer some years ago. She was everything I could have asked for. She loved me because I was just me. She also loved my family and children as if they were her own.

Members: 550
Latest Activity: on Thursday

Discussion Forum

Completely Lost 6 Replies

Started by Shirley Thompson. Last reply by Shirley Thompson on Thursday.

Missing mom 2 Replies

Started by Spencer Paul. Last reply by Trina Mamoon May 15.

Guilt 9 Replies

Started by Donna Doucette. Last reply by Donna Doucette May 7.

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Comment by Faith Kathy on Thursday


Thank you thank you DR ogumen for what you have just done, for helping
me getting my husband who left me with two kids april last year to me
i thank you so much the great OGUMEN of ogumensolutioncenter@yahoo.com for
bringing back my family i am great-full and will always be if you also
need his help his email(ogumensolutioncenter@yahoo.com)

Comment by carma on May 21, 2016 at 8:32pm

Susan,

thanks for the upbeat advice....Mom wants me to do that..I moved back in with them a few years ago and now I know why....God had that planned for me...but now I am here in the house and it doesn't feel right at least at this moment.....I also think they both had cancer at the same time just that symptoms presented differently....And actually a little too late thou dad lasted longer than I thought....I will be doing grief counseling with the hospice... ....I told mom thou that I would feel guilty if I started to have fun again...now I have to find out what it is as it's been too long.....no one made any comments it's actually how I was feeling.....she keeps sending me home when I go visit but yes I am very tired and drained.  I was just recovering from that with dad .....catching up on things and rest....It's just hard when they have been with you most of the time thru out your life.... 

Comment by Susan Szoke on May 21, 2016 at 7:48am

Carma,

If you are comfortable moving on with your life then do it without any guilt. There is no right or wrong here. How you handle your grief is your business and very personal to you. Please don't let someone else make you feel guilty with a comment they make to you. They have no business trying to make you grieve the way they think you should.

If you decide to move on with your life, don't be surprised if you suddenly find yourself back in some stage of grief for a little while. As you probably know, we move in and out of different stages of grief and recovery without regard to any particular order. 

Comment by carma on May 20, 2016 at 8:50pm

Well I lost my dad back in December 2015 and now my mom at almost any minute or day...We took her to the hospital thinking it was a backache or a pinched nerve but ended up being so much more.........breast cancer that spread to both lungs and bones.....among some kidney failure and other issues about 9 total...she is so weak that she didn't think she could do radiation and has not eaten but one time in about 10 days almost 2 weeks soon and hardly any fluids..........It all happened so quick as where dad spent 15 months battling it....It isn't even 5 full months and I am going thru it again........I find that I am not alone with both going so close together.  The only thing I can think of is that god wants me to move on with my life but I feel guilty to do it.......is this normal??/  Someone reach out to me.....

Comment by Susan Szoke on May 6, 2016 at 4:13pm

Susan P, I'm sorry for your loss. I wish there was a group you could find near you. Maybe you will find one caring person in your life to be that special one that you can open up to and tell everything to and receive a great big hug and feel comfortable enough to cry around and still feel accepted. Maybe a neighbor or close friend or relative will turn out to be that person for you. I hope you get whatever it is that you need. I'm sure you have plenty of needs besides this particular one. I think we all need a friend like this one to open up to and we need other support systems, too.

You didn't have very long to prepare to lose your husband. That can be rough. God bless you, Susan.

Comment by Shirley on May 5, 2016 at 7:53pm

Susan P....Thanks for your reply and for your Blessings.  Where I live they have these group meetings  inside some of the Health Insurance buildings..  Know they have meetings at Cigna because have seen the group meeting there.  If there are not any group meetings perhaps a few of your neighbors and you can start one in your back yard or living room....It really helps so much to have others who are going through the same  grief to get together and discuss your days and concerns.  GOD Bless you my friend..........

Comment by Susan P on May 5, 2016 at 7:03pm

Shirley, Thank you for the suggestion.  I have looked in my areal for grief groups, the hospice sent me a list but they were almost all in the afternoon when I'm working of the couple in the evening were too far from my job to be practical.  I've also looked online but with no luck except finding this forum.  I will keep looking, but just knowing I have found a place to express how I feel without worrying about being judged gives me some comfort.  Blessings for you as well.

Comment by Michael Thompson on May 5, 2016 at 3:29pm

I have a question.  Why does grief and grieving cause nausea ?

Comment by Michael Thompson on May 5, 2016 at 3:02pm

Hi everybody. Throughout the 22 years of my marriage to a great and lovely lady, we had our ups and downs, and sometimes we went to bed angry with each other and we had sleepless nights.  What grief has done for me has made me introverted, im constantly thinking of how I feel ?, and nights times are the worst.  Where before when my wife was around, if I may put it like that ?, my wife and I had marital rapport. 

Comment by Shirley on May 5, 2016 at 12:53pm

Susan  P...Have you thought about going to grief groups?  When my hubby passed in April 2014, I started going to the group meetings at Hospice of the Valley and that helped a lot.... Everyone there have the same grief, hurt and pain you do and they become friends to help each other.....Just wanted to mention this. Blessings for you my friend .

 

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not today cake not today

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