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Comment by Maddy on June 17, 2013 at 8:18pm

Hi Muuna,

I understand that it's very easy to get overwhelmed by others' grief at times. It seems sometimes like people want to lean on you/us when they are grieving or they count on you to help them through your grief. My mother was very well known in our community and it seems like every time I go home to visit my dad I run into someone who knew/loved/worked/went to school with her, etc and they are always wanting to express their condolences....but it ultimately turns into them being comforted by me somehow. It used to really get to me and I would get angry, but I learned to look at it that my mother touched a lot of people and therefore there are a lot of people who miss her. I also find it comforting to know that we are not the only ones who are keeping her memory alive.

I hope that you can find a way to deal with other people's grief in a positive way....or at least in a way that does not set you back in your grieving process.

Thinking of you.

Comment by Cindy C on June 17, 2013 at 6:52pm

Thinking of you Muuna. I am sitting in my moms house trying to write thank you notes from her funeral a month ago. I havent wrote the first one. My dog came with me tonite and ran into the room where she always watched tv. Everyone needs to mourn our loss but whenever i have a dry eye, it seems i run into someone who just found out or who hadnt seen me yet. Its very hard...but i guess it shows how much they were loved. And thats a nice thought to hang on to. Take care.

Comment by Muuna on June 17, 2013 at 4:13pm

Today has been particularly hard. My mums best friend was out of the country when mum passed away so she came in today to grieve at our home. In our tradition, grieving is very loud and expressive and the women sit on the floor so that's what she came to do. It brought all the memories back, the loud daunting wailing, the feeling of emptiness, the confusion, my already broken heart broke all over again. 27th June will mark 3 months that she's been gone.

Comment by Natalie on June 15, 2013 at 5:10pm

July 9th, 2013 will be one year since my mom went to be with the Lord. I have felt so lost this past year but the rest of my family seems to have moved on as if nothing even happened. It has been quite a rude awakening for me because my heart cries and longs for my mom every single day.  I, too, am so thankful for the good souls in this group. It is so healing to know that someone understands.

Comment by michael sandoval on June 15, 2013 at 8:36am

My condolences to all the new members and to the old members too.  Next month will be one yea rsince mom got sick and it will be one year sine she passed in Sept.  I can't believe its been a year.  feels like yesterday.

Comment by Hannah McMurphy on June 15, 2013 at 3:00am

Martha i agree with you 100%.I put up a strong front for people but,when I get home I just fall apart,I feel like a child that just wants her mommy.I can find no comfort,peace or hope.I just don't want to go on without her,the world is a cold and empty place without her.I sleep with her pillow and myself to sleep.I will never be a whole person again,I am broken,shattered...I don't think I can ever be truly happy again!

Comment by Martha on June 15, 2013 at 1:49am

 I feel for everyone here who is going thru losing their Mom. I miss her every day. And, Cindy I completely understand how the waking up and facing this harsh reality is rough, only time I feel better is when I sleep.

I donated most of her clothing to charity because at least other people who are in desperate need will use. Something she would have wanted. In terms of going thru her desk, etc. I have not been able to do it. And, it is over a year already.

I miss my Mom, my best friend, the sister I never had. A beautiful soul who spent her life giving to others. My world will never be the same.

Thank goodness for this forum for us to express how we feel. Most people I know think I am over it. I am not, and never will be.

P.S. Wish more of us would use the CHAT feature, it is helpful to share in real time...

Comment by Kimberly Hamilton on June 15, 2013 at 1:40am

I guess I am also glad we had to clean out Mom's apartment so quickly. But it felt like we were taking away her things and she would be mad when she came back. We had not accepted the fact that she was gone when we were spliting up her stuff. I still some of it in my dining room, but I am planning to start organizing things this week. Decide what I am going to pack away and what to keep out.

I hung the hummingbird picture I wasing making for her in my livingroom along with the one I made her several years ago about Mother's. I would give anything to turn back time and have her here again. 

Comment by Cindy C on June 14, 2013 at 8:57pm

I lost my mom unexpectedly on may 15, 2013. I was her primary caregiver.We took her to the er and spent that day and mothers day in ICU with her. Then took her home for 2 days before she passed. I miss her every morning I wake up and throughout the day.It happened so fast....I. myself was recovering from a concussion the previous week and I keep thinking maybe I missed something cuz I wasnt feeling well myself. Just miss her so much!

Comment by Amanda on June 14, 2013 at 4:13pm

The last few days have been hard for me, as well. Luckily, I don't have to sort through any of Mom's things because my father is still alive and living in the home. I do have to stop him from throwing everything away in an effort to keep busy, though. Two months ago, when my mom died, I had a mindset of "Someday soon I will have a baby that will never know my mom." "Someday" is quickly approaching, and I'm not ready for that reality. It's not the life I wanted for me or for my kids, and it's been very hard to accept lately.

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