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Comment by Lynn Williams on October 10, 2014 at 9:08am

Josette,
I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved son. Each of us can easily remember how intense, and unrelenting the feelings of grief are in the beginning. Just take one day at a time. Linda I remember the first year, holidays and supposed celebrations were so hard to get through and the anticapation made it so much worse. My daughter died at 26 almost 14 months ago the and the upcoming winter holidays I still dread without her.

Comment by Linda on October 10, 2014 at 6:48am

It's been 7 months since I lost my daughter Desiree'. Her birthday was on Oct. 1st, she would have celebrated her 32nd. Somehow celebrating that day in her absence brought on the reality that she really is gone. That I really will never see her again. I'm kinda numb as I go thru my days trying to absorb the up coming holidays that she won't be a part of. It's like I want to stop time so I don't have to experience the reality that NO she won't be here to take her children trick or treating. NO she won't be here to fix her annual Thanksgiving dinner that she was always so proud to show off her great accomplishment, the "hey see I can cook a lavish meal all in one day!" bravado. NO I will not be here to ooh and ahh over the Christmas gifts. Even as I type these things I'm a crying mess.

Thank all of you here for the love and support that you share.

This is all too unbelievably painful.

Comment by Teresa D. on October 10, 2014 at 5:58am

Josette, my prayers are with you. 

I think we all go over those last few moments and I think in a way we all blame ourselves. 

I am so sorry you have to experience this. 

Comment by Josette A. on October 9, 2014 at 12:05pm

Tomorrow will be 3 weeks that my son has passed at the age of 24. We believe it was due to an overdose but will not know for sure until the toxicology report comes.

 

I am so at a loss of words. I am numb. I can't believe this is real. I can't and won't be able to accept this. I am suppose to go before he ever did. Why my son? Why my family? Why does this all feel like a dream? Why, why, why? So many unanswered questions. So many could of, should of, and would of? Well why say that when it is already too late. Why is everyone saying that they should have been there for him more. My mom said that if only he lived with us this would of never happened. She doesn't know what it is like to be an addict. I have been there and done that. I am not blaming anyone for his death.  If only he would of talked to me and let me know how he was feeling. Why didn't he open up to me? I always made sure that my kids felt comfortable to talk with me.

Before he past, he just started a new job and was working graveyard shift. Well I really to talk to him for maybe a month and a half. Not because we weren't talking it was because we worked different hours. When I was working he was sleeping and vice versa. For some reason, I text him the Monday before he passed (he passed on Friday) and asked him if he wanted to do lunch. He said sure and I told him on one condition that he had to take me to get my check. This was joke an on-going joke.  Anyways he came on Thursday and we did lunch and of course it was nice. after he dropped my off back at work of course as always he asked to borrow $20 and I would usually give him a bad time and then end up giving it to him but for some reason this time I didn't. Well we said our goodbyes and told each other I love you and a kiss on the cheek. That was that last time I seen or heard from him. He passed the following day. I feel like he new it was his time and he wanted to see me before. It was such a God thing that I saw him. I often think, well if I didn't give him that $20 would he still be alive?

So many emotions and don't know whether I am coming or going. I am angry, sad, hurt, and every other feeling. Why me?

Comment by Michelle H on October 8, 2014 at 10:26am

I wish I could write each of you personally or at least refer to each of you by name. I read every post and send prayers your way, knowing the pain you are having to face each and every day. I'm grateful for this site and the support we are able to offer one another. For those who have been facing recent anniversaries, I'm sorry and hope they passed by as well as possible. For those facing lack of resolution regarding your child's death, I pray that resolution comes quickly to give you a measure of peace. For upcoming holidays without our loved one(s), I pray for comfort in their absence. For lose whose faith is shaky or nonexistent, I pray that God embraces you. For each of us, I pray that we will someday be reunited with our lost child. HUGS.

Comment by Teresa D. on October 8, 2014 at 5:46am

Anne, HUGS HUGS and MORE HUGS!

Comment by Connie K on October 7, 2014 at 11:01pm

Thank you Karen. Thanks for creating this group!!!! Hugs to you.

Comment by Kar on October 7, 2014 at 9:05pm

Thinking of all of you here.... sending you BIG HUGsssss

Comment by Kar on October 7, 2014 at 9:03pm

Anne-- Big hugs to you .... It will be 7 yrs for our Brad on the 19th....  Sending you strength....

 

Comment by Jesse's Mom on October 7, 2014 at 6:56pm

Anne, thinking of you this angelversary of Ben's. I am not sure these mile markers will ever get any easier. Wishing you gentleness for the day. Dawn I am sorry to hear of the loss of your son. I have found it to be  helpful to remain connected to other parents who have also suffered child loss. I do not have a strong support system where I live, everyone has moved on. For me being able to talk about my son, Jesse, has been important.

Wishing everyone a restful night.

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