Patti Meadows
  • Female
  • Chattanooga, TN
  • United States
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My son Matt

I just found this site....My son Matt was a creative, talented musician.....Wife to Jessica, Brother to Philip & Joe... and Son to Patti & Phil....He left this world on June 28, 2006...way…Continue

Started Jul 22, 2011

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About Me:
58 yrs. old/ Married to my soulmate for almost 40 years now. Mother to 3 wonderful young men. Philip, Joe, & Matt (Matt has passed)
About my Loss:
Matt is a beautiful, creative, talented young man. He left this world June 28, 2006 due to a car crash. He is my youngest. Before this happened I would have said I was a very strong Christian, but now I have trouble trusting God since he allowed my son to die. Does anyone else struggle with this?

Patti Meadows's Blog

My Son Matt

I just found this site....My son Matt was a creative, talented musician.....Wife to Jessica, Brother to Philip & Joe... and Son to Patti & Phil....He left this world on June 28, 2006...way too soon... in a car crash.  He was on his way home from a music performance and fell asleep at the wheel...In the daytime he was a Chef at O'Charlies....It has been five years and yet I feel I have just begun to accept......

Posted on July 21, 2011 at 8:26pm

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At 11:01pm on December 11, 2011, Brenda Ann said…

I am so happy that you accepted my friend request.  Ever since I read your comment, "Before this happened I would have said I was a very strong Christian, but now I have trouble trusting God since he allowed my son to die."  I just wanted to cry and give you a hug.

    

Do you believe the Bible is God's word?  May I show you some scriptures that will help?

 

I will keep you in my prayers....

Brenda

mawmaw1591@gmail.com

www.grief-and-comfort.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

At 6:20pm on November 8, 2011, cindy parrott said…

Hi Patti,

I'm happy to add you as a friend.

 

At 11:59pm on October 24, 2011, Adrianne Edgerly said…

Patti,

I have read some of your posts and I am really in a bad situation with my faith.  What made the difference for you?  How were you able to turn it around?  I miss my son so much.  We spoke over 20 times a day.  My son had a tough life.  He was a victim of a crime when he was younger and suffered from PTS.  Severe anxiety and panic attacks.  He wanted to medicate to sleep.  Not to get high.  On August 17th of this year, he went to sleep and never woke up.  I can't imagine getting through this.  

 

At 10:29am on July 31, 2011, Ammy said…
Hi Patti, I hope the last couple of days have been okay for you.  You are not self-centered alone.  We are all, to some extent, self-centered.  How else could we be?  I am thinking of you and you are in my prayers every day.  Take care.  Hugs & blessings, Ann
At 1:07pm on July 27, 2011, Ammy said…
Hi Patti,  I am thankful to God if He has helped you with His word.  I'm sure there are other verses, but I have these for now and they give me understanding.  Reading the book of Job also helped me.  It showed me that God may not have caused my son's death.  For some reason we always seem to think God makes everything happen.  Job showed me that isn't always true.  Evil gives us more troubles and misery, and (for some reason) God will allow it to happen, but in the end He brings us through.  I hope you are doing better this week or have had a decent day or two.  I've learned that it comes and goes like an unexpected summer storm.  Stay in touch with the group unless it's too upsetting for you.  Know that you are in my thoughts and prayers, Ann
At 1:59pm on July 24, 2011, Ammy said…

Have to do this in two comments.

 

Hi Patti,

You did not alarm me.  I have read it many times before from others in grief.  I try to not think ahead and just stay in the day I'm in.  There is no norm anymore either.  There probably never was, but now....nope.

I wanted to say a little bit about Psalm 139.  I have a picture with verses 13 to 16 on my refrigerator.  Probably have had it there for a couple of years.  When I first read it something just grabbed me.  One day not too long before my son died he was looking at it and he said, "You like this don't you?".  I told him I did because it made me realize that God knows everything.  He just smiled at me.  I think it's a wonderful Psalm to read.  Let me know if you read it, and what you think.

At 1:59pm on July 24, 2011, Ammy said…

 

The other verses that have helped me accept that his day was meant to be are:

Job 7:1  Is there not an appointed time to man upon earth? Are not his days also like the days of an hireling?
Job 14:5  Man's days are determined; you have decreed the number of his months and have set limits he cannot exceed.
Psalm 139:16  Your eyes saw my unformed body.  All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. 
Ecclesiastes 3:2  A time to be born, And a time to die;

Because my son suffered from mental health problems I also found some comfort in 

Isaiah 57:1  The righteous perish, and no one ponders it in his heart; merciful men are taken away, and no one understands that the righteous are taken away to be spared from evil to come.

I believe God knows exactly when, where, and how we will die. God knows absolutely everything about us (Psalm 139:1-6).1 O Lord, You have searched me and known me.  You know my sitting down and my rising up; You understand my thought afar off.  You comprehend my path and my lying down, And are acquainted with all my ways.  For there is not a word on my tongue, But behold, O Lord, You know it altogether.  You have hedged me behind and before, And laid Your hand upon me.  Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; It is high, I cannot attain it.

I hope these help you in some way as they have helped me to know that I nor anyone else could have prevented my son's death.  It doesn't make me less sad or miss him less, but I don't have to go through the "what ifs" or wondering why all the time.  If I start to do that I just remember these verses.

Wish I could do more to help.  Be gentle with yourself.

Sending a cyber {{{Hug}}},

Ann

 

 

At 6:37pm on July 23, 2011, Ammy said…
Hi Patti, I'm sorry about your son Matt.  I don't get on the site as much as I would like to, but I try to keep up with the comments.  It's a sad thing to have to say that I can get some comfort hearing from other mother's that are going through this loss.  I guess I'm always hoping that someone will figure out how to make it easier, but I know that probably won't happen.  I understand your feeling about trusting God.  I always felt a strong connection to God and felt comfortable that He would always take care of my family.  When my son died last year I felt betrayed and couldn't talk to God anymore for awhile.  I just couldn't understand how He could let him die, but I have come to understand some things now and have gotten back to my relationship with the Lord.  I don't think it's quite as strong as it was, but I'm hoping I will one day feel that security again.  I found several verses in the bible that helped me get through.  If you read the bible and want to know which ones they were I would gladly share them with you.  I just passed one year on July 14th and when I see mom's like you that are still hurting so much after years it really scares me.  I pray you will find friendship, compassion, understanding, and whatever you need here at this site.  We are all members in this so called club that we didn't want to join.  Wishing you comfort, Ann
 
 
 

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