Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Don't grieve alone.
Please share your Story = the Loss of your Son or Daughter
First- welcome to Missing My Son or Daughter. Only I truly wish you all didn't know this agony & loss. But, we all do - We may be able to help each other by sharing our story & connecting with people who truly understand us.
((( HUGS to you ALL))) Karen
((( HUGS to you ALL))) Karen
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Karen on -
We lost our 16 yr old son Brad - 0ct. 19th 2007- In a auto accident. Due to a foreign substance on the roadway, the 3rd accident that day in the same spot, yet no warning. Brad was a passenger with my husband & older son. Actually I came very close to loosing all 3.
After 10 days - My 14 yr old daughter and I couldnt wait for my husband, and 18yr old son- And we had to have our dear Brads funeral on our own. My husband still wasnt breathing on his own & not aware we lost Brad at that point. And our older son with a head injury calling me a chair & other odd names.
In the months that followed My husband and other son have healed physically.
Personally - I feel destroyed - & I really struggle with life ... I sort feel like I used all of myself in those first several weeks to be strong & do what I needed to do & now ---
Hummm- trying to find a way to discribe it- almost like my bones are gone & I am a lump of useless flesh laying in a pile. With a bleeding heart- well what is left of it. I still can't except He's gone.
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Permalink Reply by Dee Dee on -
I lost my 27 year old son on 1/16/09 I also don't believe it is true. I don't want to believe it. I felt like I couldn't go on for three months after he passed. I slept all the time and did nothing else. I have another son who is 33 he told me he needed me. Those were the words I needed to go on.
I still feel like I failed my son I feel like every other mother in the world is better than me. I am just a loser and stupid ugly person who failed to save my son. I loved him so much but failed him. I wish so much that I had another chance with him. No one should loose their child. It is just unbearable the worse thing that can happen.
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Permalink Reply by Charlotte on -
I lost my son to drugs on Thanksgiving Day and I tried everything to save him from this terrible lifestyle which took his life at 35. Please take care of yourself and stay busy and look for enjoyable things to do. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Charlotte
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Permalink Reply by Dee Davis on
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Dee Dee, My on went to Jesus Sept. 5 09,from taking too much cough syrup with codene,for a bad cold. He said he felt weak but didn"t want me to call rescue sqd. Said he would just go to bed and sleep it off, but instead he woke up with Jesus. The next morning I felt my life ended when I couldn"t wake him up.My life has not been the same since./ He was born with cerabral palsey and drs. said he would die befor he was 15, and would never finish school, and never be able to work . But I told them that God was just starting with him. He graduated high school, and 3yrs. of Bible College, became an ordained minister, preached 4 churches. Made a tape ministry, worked 5 different jobs, and in 05 moved in with me to help when I had to quit work. And LOTS more. He was my life. I have 2 other adult children, who live on their own. We never plan for our children to go befor us, and especially our baby . H was 38, and 27th this mo. would be 39. Today is 10mo. since he"s been gone,and it still seems like a bad dream, and I want to wake up and see him here again..What helps me is knowing when my time is up, I Will see him again.. I also plan to write a book on his life this yr. to let other parents with babies with CP not to believe drs. when they say their babies won"t be nothing.I never let Jamie give up on hisself, cause I never did. But I know he has a new body now free from all defects. My prayers are with you. Please reply to me if possible.Diane
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Permalink Reply by Kathy Martibello - Stieff on
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Hi Diane, I wish you didn't have to be a part of this awful nightmare, I'm so sorry about your son Jamie. Wow, he was an incredible young man doing all that he did. I lost my 19 year old daughter Kate last Valentines Day 09, in an auto accident. She was my only child. Like you said about Brian, Kate was my whole life. I also feel like it's a bad dream that I can't wake up from. No parent should ever have to bury their child, it's not natural. It has to be the hardest thing in the world. Having faith that I'll be with her again is the only thing getting me through this. Our lives will never be the same, a part of us is gone. I'd love to correspond with you. Hugs, Kathy
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Permalink Reply by Ken Ciolek on -
Hi Diane and Kathy
I am so sorry to hear about your loss and tragedy, I too lost my daughter this past December, it was very unexpected, she was only 18 and pretty much destroyed our lives, my wife is having such a hard tine dealing as me but her more and finding it very hard to help her and hoping to find that help. I would like to chat more with both of you...kciolek@optonline.net...thank you
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Permalink Reply by Kathy Martibello - Stieff on
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Hi Ken, I'm so very sorry you lost your precious daughter also. Nothing can be worse than losing a child. It does destroy our lives. I'm not trying to lessen your grief or love for your daughter, but I think maybe us mom's have a harder time because we carried our children. That's just a thought as to why she's finding it more difficult to deal with. I know that I'm having a much harder time than my husband. Almost everywhere I go, or anything I see reminds me of her. There's so many things I was looking forward to doing with her, planning her wedding, becoming a grandmother that will never happen now. I wish I could give you an easy answer on how you can help your wife. Are you and your wife religious? I truly believe that when I die I'll see Kate again and be with her for eternity. That's the only thing that keeps me going. If I didn't have that faith, I'm not sure I'd make it. Also if you can find a support group like Compassionate Friends near you, it may help to speak to other's who've lost a child. My prayers go out to both of you.
Hugs, Kathy
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Permalink Reply by Yvonne T Jones on
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There is a group called Compassionate Friends. They are USA wide and usually there is one in every city. They helped me tremendously when I lost my son. Please check the internet for the one closes to you.
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Permalink Reply by Laura Villarreal on -
My heart goes out to you, Karen.
My 33 year old daughter, and only child, was killed while operating a 4 wheeler. The accident happened in North Pole, AK where she live with her husband. I reside in San Antonio, TX. It happened on Memorial Day of this year, 5/25/09. It is just so hard to understand what happened, why she was not wearing a helmet. She was not a thrill seeker...the accident happend at 12:15pm (AK time) and she was pronounced dead at 12:49pm (AK time). When I saw my son-in-laws phone # and name on my phone I knew my worst fear had been realized because he NEVER called me. Life as I knew it just ended and I have been lost ever since.
So many raw feeling and emotions ranging from numbness to raging anger at nothing and everything! The logical part of my brain makes me go through the motions of daily living while the other part of my brain does nothing. I just don't know what to do with myself. My husband (my daughter's stepfather) has been my rock yet he had been a part of her life for 25 years and he too misses her tremendously.
And you are right as I too have not been able to accept that she is gone...
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Permalink Reply by davina adlem on -
we lost our daughter gemma to a auto accident, her boyfriend was driving too fast swerved and hit a tree gem took full impact and died instantly. the boyfriend is free to drive and get on with his life, we will never forgive him. it will be 6 years in december and i cannot believe i am still here, my heart is broken ans shattered and i miss gem and love her more and more every day. loosing a child is the worse thing possible and not the right order, you expect to loose parents andthat hurts but unless you have lost a child there reallyis no comparasing, we love our children so much they are our lives. the pain never leaves me nor ever will, the longing to hold and touch gem and tell her i love her is so painful. I am alive but not living, and all the time in your head are the if onlys, and whys. o god how i love you gem, love to all xx
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Permalink Reply by Janice Shapiro on -
hi all, i had my first baby on 25 November 1995, there were complications at birth and she had Cerebral Palsy, seizures, lung problems, visual problems all her life. our lives were in and out of hospitals. in so, i grew so close to her, and she to me. i was her everything, her spokesperson, her protector. only i could understand her. my primary mission was to love love love her. and we became indescribably close. the laughter we shared, the singing, the loving and affection, the funny things, barney, the teletubbies, funny ways of singing their songs, just so so much.
in january last year, she started deterioriating. i thought it was like all the other times she took ill, and eventually pulled through again. but she didnt. she couldnt go on anymore. she passed away on 24 April last year. i lost a huge part of myself. i am broken. i love my jessy
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Permalink Reply by Katherine Ellis on -
On June 26th, 2001 we lost our daughter, Irene. We were all white water rafting. Irene fell out of her raft doing down the last fall. When she went under she pushed herself off the botton getting her foot caught. We couldn't save her. When I close me eyes I still her laying on the ground. That day the clock stopped ticking, the world stopped spinning. I miss her each and everyday. I not only lost my daugther but I lost my best friend. I don't think any of us will ever be the person we were. Laughter comes hard if at all. I feel like a shell. Just walking, talking, eating on automatic. Some days I just don't want to be here anymore. But I go on because others need me. How can the world be so cruel as to let us lose a child. Until we meet again Irene, will I be whole.
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Many of us have lost more than one person or event.
Come share!
Useful Links
How to Write an Obituary How to Write a Eulogy Find A Grave Twinless Twins Dead or Alive Hospice My Loving Tribute Writing through Cancer
Healing Grief Support
One year of writing and healing at a glance
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One year of writing and healing at a glance
View my page on Hospice Community Forum Your donations benefit the entire community.
Visit My Loving Tribute
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Books
To One In Sorrow
Let me come in where you are weeping, friend,
And let me take your hand.
I, who have known a sorrow such as yours, can understand.
Let me come in--I would be very still beside you in your grief;
I would not bid you cease your weeping, friend,
Tears bring relief. Let me come in--and hold your hand,
For I have known a sorrow such as yours, And understand.
-Grace Noll Crowell
And let me take your hand.
I, who have known a sorrow such as yours, can understand.
Let me come in--I would be very still beside you in your grief;
I would not bid you cease your weeping, friend,
Tears bring relief. Let me come in--and hold your hand,
For I have known a sorrow such as yours, And understand.
-Grace Noll Crowell
The Light Beyond
The Gift That Freed Me To Give
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When a friend or family member experiences the death of a loved one, we quickly offer our condolences and help. Listed here are eight practical suggestions for helping a friend or family member that has just suffered a loss. 1. Offer to answer the telephone or answer emails at the family's home. Telephone calls and email can take up a considerable amount of time. Take messages and give information to friends and family. 2. Volunteer...Badge
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