Gail Richardson
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  • United Kingdom
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Gail Richardson's Blog

I Can Hear you Whisper - by Sandy Goodman

I CAN HEAR YOU WHISPER



In the mornings

I reserve my drive time

To say hello to you

And to feel you surround me

With your violet eddy of emotions.

In the beginning, a hundred years ago (or was it yesterday?),

My trips to town were for crying,

For screaming,

For asking you over and over and over again

WHY YOU HAD TO LEAVE,

But now it's different.

Now we share the sunrise.

We listen to music,

We reach for…
Continue

Posted on March 21, 2010 at 4:52pm — 1 Comment

The Grief of Fathers

The Grief of Fathers



Fathers are cast in a societal role that is different from that of the

mother. Although there are many role crossovers and although frequently

the deep strength in a family is in the mother, society expects, and

fathers themselves expect, that they be the “strong ones.”



Generally the father is the major support of the family, and he plans to

meet his current expenses, insure against the unanticipated, save for the

anticipated… Continue

Posted on May 31, 2009 at 5:30pm

oneday9.jpg The Emotional Roller Coaster Child loss brings with it an array of mixed emotions. Parents can feel anything from sadness and depression to extreme anger at everyone and anything. Some …

oneday9.jpg



The Emotional Roller Coaster



Child loss brings with it an array of mixed emotions. Parents can feel anything from sadness and depression to extreme anger at everyone and anything. Some days the tears will flow like a river for no apparent reason. Other days the language that pours forth from your mouth will… Continue

Posted on May 27, 2009 at 3:44pm — 2 Comments

The Awakening

A time in your life when you finally get it.



When in the midst of all your fears and insanity,



You stop dead in your tracks, and somewhere in your head cries out -



ENOUGH!



Enough fighting, crying, or struggling to hold on.



And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum,



your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice,



you blink back your tears and through a mantle of wet lashes



you begin to look… Continue

Posted on May 12, 2009 at 4:25pm

Close By your Side

You think I've gone far away and life has lost its will,

But look around, I am right here, living with you still,

I watch your tears, I feel your pain, I see the things you do,

I weep as well, each time you cry, my soul it lives with you.

It gives me such joy to hear you laugh, and do the things you do,

And when you smile over bygone days, I smile right there with you,

For we are still one, just you and me, one mind, one soul, one being,

Walking forward into… Continue

Posted on May 10, 2009 at 4:47pm

Comment Wall (9 comments)

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At 10:23am on December 21, 2011, Sherry Bell said…

I hope you are doing ok Gail. I just wanted you to know your kind words of someone that understands ment so much to me! I will write more later just wanted you to know i was thinking about you and your family. Also the kind words you sent to me. luv Katelynes mommy

At 9:51am on February 25, 2011, Sherry Bell said…
thank u yall help me at my worst times becuse yall know the pain
At 9:27am on June 29, 2010, Darren Mitchell said…
Gailm I am not sure if you have figured it out yet... But it appears that a new member cynthia ie baby.cynthia29@yahoo.com is not really looking for grief support. I received a private message from her that suggests a longer term sexual relationship. Not only that if you look at her comments as of June 28th you will see dozens of them and they are not comment but form letters. Yahoo is well known for infiltrating site with their pornographic advertising which come from "mostly" underage Asian girls.

Would you please mention this to someone that can look into it? Thanks. I hope I am wrong.
At 2:14pm on May 16, 2010, Pastor Jenine Marie Mason said…
Thank you for the birthday wishes for Jayson. We all love and miss him so much! blessings honey...
At 2:28pm on January 28, 2010, Trudy F. Evans gave Gail Richardson a gift
Gift
Thank you Karen. Do appreciate your kindness. My eldest son was born on Feb. 6th and died on Feb. 8th. My younger son was found dead the morning of Feb. 2nd.
At 10:08pm on September 22, 2009, Dee Dee said…
Thank you so much!
He was trying so hard. My heart is broken
At 6:13pm on July 17, 2009, Laura Villarreal said…
Gail, thank you for the beautiful and heartfelt words! I have received sympathies from people who say things like "it must be difficult" or "I know how you feel" but when I ask how they were able to work through the loss of their child they reply with something like "oh, I have never lost a child but I can imagine". I have literally quit going out and taking phone calls. I will only talk to certain family members and I only communicate with all others via email or text. I know they mean well but it just makes me angry because "you cannot imagine the pain and suffering I am going through"! The best sympathies I have received are store bought sympathy cards that have been signed with love, prayers and thoughts. Sometimes less is better.
My thoughts and prayers are with you, too.
At 3:51am on May 10, 2009, Gail Richardson said…
A SALUTE TO MOMS ABLE TO CARRY ON
BY: Erma Bombech
May 13, 1995



If you’re looking for an answer this Mothers Day on why God reclaimed your child, I don’t know.
I only know that thousands of mothers out there desperately need an answer as to why they were permitted to go through the elation of carrying a child and then lose it to miscarriage, accident, violence, disease, or drugs.
Motherhood isn’t just a series of contractions; it’s a state of mind. From the moment we know life is inside us, we feel responsibility to protect and defend that human being. It’s a promise we can’t keep. We beat ourselves to death over that pledge, “If I hadn’t worked through the eighth month.” “If I had taken him to the doctor when he had a fever.” “If I hadn’t let him use the car that night.” “If I hadn’t been so naive, I’d have noticed he was on drugs.
The longer I live, the more convinced I become that surviving changes us. After the bitterness, the anger, the guilt, and the despair are tempered by time, we look at life differently.
While I was writing my book, “I Want to Grow Hair, I Want to Grow Up, I Want to Go to Boise,” I talked with mothers who had lost a child to cancer. Every single one said that death gave their new lives meaning and purpose. And who do you think prepared them for the tough, lonely road they had to travel? Their dying child. They pointed their mothers toward the future and told them to keep going. The children had already accepted what their mothers were fighting to reject.
The children in the bombed out nursery in Oklahoma City have touched more lives than they will ever know. Workers who had probably given their kids a mechanical pat on the head without thinking that morning were making calls home during the day to their children to say, “I love you.”
This may seem like a strange Mothers Day column – a day when joy and life abound for the millions of mothers throughout our country. But it’s also a day of appreciation and respect. I can think of no mothers who deserve it more than those who had to give a child back.
In the face of adversity we are not permitted to ask, “Why me?” You can ask, but you won’t get an answer. Maybe you are the instrument who is left behind to perpetuate the life that was lost and appreciate the time you had with it.
The late Gilda Radner summed it up pretty well. “I wanted a perfect ending. Now I’ve learned the hard way that some poems don’t rhyme and some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle and end. Life is about knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what is going to happen next. Delicious ambiguity.”

"Hope" is the thing with feathers...
That perches in the soul...
And sings the tune without words...
And never stops at all.....
(Emily Dickinson
At 1:30pm on May 9, 2009, Jarvis said…
Welcome to the community.
 
 
 

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Latest Activity

Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Yes Brett, perfectly said. They will surely forgive us and I just need to forgive myself.  I will be fulfilling her pending wishes which will help me to forgive myself and also take more care of my Dad as he is alone now."
54 minutes ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi, I am sorry that it's taken a while for me to respond to you. I ready your story and I felt it. I am so sorry about your mom. If someone were to ask me what the prevailing emotion on this website is, I'm not sure that I would say…"
1 hour ago
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Thanks for amazing words Brett. Yes the belief that we will meet our mother in heaven is a great motivation to love life."
1 hour ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"A friend of mine lost his brother to suicide last year. My friend asked me if I thought that his brother was in Hell. There's a question that no one wants to be asked. There's just no way of knowing. And I don't want to make a joke…"
1 hour ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I have to add I miss my mom terribly, every single night I get in bed and in the darkness I cry and tell her if you are near me and can hear me I love you mom.   I say to her one day you will let me know what happened. Every night I say…"
5 hours ago
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Well said theressa. I have got the first motivation to get out of grief. My mother always wanted to have our own car which I never bought but now my first aim is to fulfil this wish."
6 hours ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi I am very sorry for your loss, this is a great group. Brett somehow you always seem to shed light on a dismal situation.  Thank you. Virginia- no God does not allow bad things to happen to people, when we are brought into this world our…"
6 hours ago
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Virginia, it will be better if you dont find out the things you should have done better in hospital. It will make your grief stronger. I tried but stopped in between because it was causing lot of pain."
7 hours ago
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett, Bluebell,   thanks for the love and for caring.  I am still afraid of not knowing what happens to people that end their life.  I wouldnt want to ruin my only chance to be with her again.  Then again, wouldn’t a…"
9 hours ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Virginia, I thought about it but it was never a real possibility for me. As I said earlier, there is nothing in this world that would hurt my mom more than ending my own life. I will never do it. I try to be careful. I'm such a religious…"
yesterday
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Agree with you Virginia. Sometimes we actually dont know what we are doing."
yesterday
Mike H. posted a blog post

What Can Help Me if I'm Depressed?

The best help comes from “God, Who comforts and encourages and refreshes and cheers the depressed.”—2 Corinthians 7:6, The Amplified Bible.What God gives to help the depressedStrength. God “refreshes and cheers” you, not by removing all your problems, but by answering your prayers when you pray for the strength to cope. (…See More
yesterday
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi, Im sure you were giving your Mom the medicines that you thought were best at the time.  Did you ask the doctor if that one dose would have made a difference?  Sadly, it probably wouldn’t have. I had no idea there were only a few…"
yesterday
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Thanks bluebell. Yes I joined the group so that I can discuss by grief and get some good advices. Virginia, same thing happened with me as well. My mother oncologist was also not telling me complete details amd just use to say that only few days…"
yesterday
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi I am very sorry for your loss. I understand the sadness and guilt you are going through right now; all of us do. This is a good place to come and talk and share your feelings. You may not get an answer back right away sometimes, but there has…"
yesterday
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi,   welcome, people on here are very supportive.  I am going through the same guilt as far as what happened in the end.  In the hospital, I didn’t talk to the doctors enough, I don’t know what I was doing.  Now I…"
yesterday
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Virginia It sounds like you are in a very dark place. Before it gets too bad, I beg of you to reach out for help. Call 911 if you have to. Trust that you will feel better than you do now and you have to be alive to find that out. Bluebell"
yesterday
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"  As always, Brett thank you for your caring posts.  I think you could be a writer or counselor.  Thanks everyone else for support also.  I can’t offer any help because I dont know what to do.  I was thinking tonight,…"
yesterday
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi Guys This is Avi and I am from India. I lost my mother on 15 may after her 7 months battle with last stage gall bladder cancer.  The grief that I possess now is that although I was closely monitoring her treatment since the first day, I was…"
yesterday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Theresa, I feel like a hypocrite when I try to think of something to say to you that would bring you peace. Because I know that I would feel the same way you do if that had happened to me. There was something. Before my mom came home on Hospice, she…"
yesterday

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