Gail Richardson
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  • United Kingdom
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Gail Richardson's Blog

I Can Hear you Whisper - by Sandy Goodman

I CAN HEAR YOU WHISPER



In the mornings

I reserve my drive time

To say hello to you

And to feel you surround me

With your violet eddy of emotions.

In the beginning, a hundred years ago (or was it yesterday?),

My trips to town were for crying,

For screaming,

For asking you over and over and over again

WHY YOU HAD TO LEAVE,

But now it's different.

Now we share the sunrise.

We listen to music,

We reach for…
Continue

Posted on March 21, 2010 at 4:52pm — 1 Comment

The Grief of Fathers

The Grief of Fathers



Fathers are cast in a societal role that is different from that of the

mother. Although there are many role crossovers and although frequently

the deep strength in a family is in the mother, society expects, and

fathers themselves expect, that they be the “strong ones.”



Generally the father is the major support of the family, and he plans to

meet his current expenses, insure against the unanticipated, save for the

anticipated… Continue

Posted on May 31, 2009 at 5:30pm

oneday9.jpg The Emotional Roller Coaster Child loss brings with it an array of mixed emotions. Parents can feel anything from sadness and depression to extreme anger at everyone and anything. Some …

oneday9.jpg



The Emotional Roller Coaster



Child loss brings with it an array of mixed emotions. Parents can feel anything from sadness and depression to extreme anger at everyone and anything. Some days the tears will flow like a river for no apparent reason. Other days the language that pours forth from your mouth will surprise even you. Emotions can run wild for months following… Continue

Posted on May 27, 2009 at 3:44pm — 2 Comments

The Awakening

A time in your life when you finally get it.



When in the midst of all your fears and insanity,



You stop dead in your tracks, and somewhere in your head cries out -



ENOUGH!



Enough fighting, crying, or struggling to hold on.



And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum,



your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice,



you blink back your tears and through a mantle of wet lashes



you begin to look… Continue

Posted on May 12, 2009 at 4:25pm

Close By your Side

You think I've gone far away and life has lost its will,

But look around, I am right here, living with you still,

I watch your tears, I feel your pain, I see the things you do,

I weep as well, each time you cry, my soul it lives with you.

It gives me such joy to hear you laugh, and do the things you do,

And when you smile over bygone days, I smile right there with you,

For we are still one, just you and me, one mind, one soul, one being,

Walking forward into… Continue

Posted on May 10, 2009 at 4:47pm

Comment Wall (9 comments)

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At 10:23am on December 21, 2011, Sherry Bell said…

I hope you are doing ok Gail. I just wanted you to know your kind words of someone that understands ment so much to me! I will write more later just wanted you to know i was thinking about you and your family. Also the kind words you sent to me. luv Katelynes mommy

At 9:51am on February 25, 2011, Sherry Bell said…
thank u yall help me at my worst times becuse yall know the pain
At 9:27am on June 29, 2010, Darren Mitchell said…
Gailm I am not sure if you have figured it out yet... But it appears that a new member cynthia ie baby.cynthia29@yahoo.com is not really looking for grief support. I received a private message from her that suggests a longer term sexual relationship. Not only that if you look at her comments as of June 28th you will see dozens of them and they are not comment but form letters. Yahoo is well known for infiltrating site with their pornographic advertising which come from "mostly" underage Asian girls.

Would you please mention this to someone that can look into it? Thanks. I hope I am wrong.
At 2:14pm on May 16, 2010, Pastor Jenine Marie Mason said…
Thank you for the birthday wishes for Jayson. We all love and miss him so much! blessings honey...
At 2:28pm on January 28, 2010, Trudy F. Evans gave Gail Richardson a gift
Gift
Thank you Karen. Do appreciate your kindness. My eldest son was born on Feb. 6th and died on Feb. 8th. My younger son was found dead the morning of Feb. 2nd.
At 10:08pm on September 22, 2009, Dee Dee said…
Thank you so much!
He was trying so hard. My heart is broken
At 6:13pm on July 17, 2009, Laura Villarreal said…
Gail, thank you for the beautiful and heartfelt words! I have received sympathies from people who say things like "it must be difficult" or "I know how you feel" but when I ask how they were able to work through the loss of their child they reply with something like "oh, I have never lost a child but I can imagine". I have literally quit going out and taking phone calls. I will only talk to certain family members and I only communicate with all others via email or text. I know they mean well but it just makes me angry because "you cannot imagine the pain and suffering I am going through"! The best sympathies I have received are store bought sympathy cards that have been signed with love, prayers and thoughts. Sometimes less is better.
My thoughts and prayers are with you, too.
At 3:51am on May 10, 2009, Gail Richardson said…
A SALUTE TO MOMS ABLE TO CARRY ON
BY: Erma Bombech
May 13, 1995



If you’re looking for an answer this Mothers Day on why God reclaimed your child, I don’t know.
I only know that thousands of mothers out there desperately need an answer as to why they were permitted to go through the elation of carrying a child and then lose it to miscarriage, accident, violence, disease, or drugs.
Motherhood isn’t just a series of contractions; it’s a state of mind. From the moment we know life is inside us, we feel responsibility to protect and defend that human being. It’s a promise we can’t keep. We beat ourselves to death over that pledge, “If I hadn’t worked through the eighth month.” “If I had taken him to the doctor when he had a fever.” “If I hadn’t let him use the car that night.” “If I hadn’t been so naive, I’d have noticed he was on drugs.
The longer I live, the more convinced I become that surviving changes us. After the bitterness, the anger, the guilt, and the despair are tempered by time, we look at life differently.
While I was writing my book, “I Want to Grow Hair, I Want to Grow Up, I Want to Go to Boise,” I talked with mothers who had lost a child to cancer. Every single one said that death gave their new lives meaning and purpose. And who do you think prepared them for the tough, lonely road they had to travel? Their dying child. They pointed their mothers toward the future and told them to keep going. The children had already accepted what their mothers were fighting to reject.
The children in the bombed out nursery in Oklahoma City have touched more lives than they will ever know. Workers who had probably given their kids a mechanical pat on the head without thinking that morning were making calls home during the day to their children to say, “I love you.”
This may seem like a strange Mothers Day column – a day when joy and life abound for the millions of mothers throughout our country. But it’s also a day of appreciation and respect. I can think of no mothers who deserve it more than those who had to give a child back.
In the face of adversity we are not permitted to ask, “Why me?” You can ask, but you won’t get an answer. Maybe you are the instrument who is left behind to perpetuate the life that was lost and appreciate the time you had with it.
The late Gilda Radner summed it up pretty well. “I wanted a perfect ending. Now I’ve learned the hard way that some poems don’t rhyme and some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle and end. Life is about knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what is going to happen next. Delicious ambiguity.”

"Hope" is the thing with feathers...
That perches in the soul...
And sings the tune without words...
And never stops at all.....
(Emily Dickinson
At 1:30pm on May 9, 2009, Jarvis said…
Welcome to the community.
 
 
 

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Latest Activity

M Adams left a comment for Durga
"Dear Durga,  sorry that you’ve been brought low by the death of your mother, it is such a painful loss to bear.  There is a group here called I Miss My Mom that might be helpful to you.  My mother died nine months ago and this…"
11 hours ago
Profile IconDurga and Angela Hernandez joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
13 hours ago
Nancy is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Sunday
G B is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Saturday
Dennis C. replied to Amy's discussion How do I get unstuck?
"Amy, I am so sorry for your loss. The journey of caregiving is extremely difficult. The loss of our especially loved dear ones is unspeakable. There are so many different ideas about what happens to us when we die. Religion teaches many different…"
Friday
Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I just feel like I am in a fog.  I have a little dog that is at least ten years old.  She adored my Mom & she has really grieved for her.  I know how you feel about your dog.  I worry about her.  She is all I have. …"
Thursday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Me too Brett, I sit here an look at my 12 year old Labrador and I know he is on borrowed time, and my heart breaks, losing him will be something that I am not looking forward to. As you said Brett, we have the live our lives until we are called…"
Thursday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Yes, I was looking at something that popped up on my Yahoo news feed. It was an article naming 106 celebrities who have passed away in 2019. So many names and faces that I remembered. Now they are gone, and they aren't coming back. Their time…"
Jul 17
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett so true she was my security blanket I feel like I have no one to lean on that understood me like her You know what keeps coming in my mind. How true it is and scary that everything has a beginning and an end."
Jul 17
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I hear it all the time you don’t know how lucky you were that your mother wasn’t sick and you didn’t have to take care of her I say to them lucky I was lucky that my mother died and I was not right by her side to tell her I love…"
Jul 17
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"M, the problem is that our security blankets were ripped away. Like you, sometimes I am glad to be sad. I feel like I am closer to my mom when I am crying. At least, her memory is fresher with me when I am in that zone. I feel like the hard reality…"
Jul 16
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Theresa, millions, billions of people have lost their moms. Sometimes someone will tell me that they have lost their mom, too, but they were able to deal with it, and they wonder why I haven't dealt with it as well. This may sound like an…"
Jul 16
M Adams commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Me too ...I was sitting marking a paper yesterday and suddenly realized that I can’t see or talk to my mother about this or anything else and the tears came.  But I’m glad to think of her, in a way I can be glad to be sad sometimes.…"
Jul 16
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I sometimes will just be sitting down and I start to cry because I keep thinking I miss my mom so much my whole world is just not the same I think that I’ve become a different person it will be four years and I still cry I can’t put into…"
Jul 16
M Adams commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Definitely a colder world now.  I like the image of the security blanket — like, as we go forward, we will always keep it but eventually may be able to wash it, fold it nicely, and put it in some place of honour close at hand but without…"
Jul 16
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"The world just became a colder place when my mom died. I just remember feeling like all was right with the world when my mom was in the next room. "
Jul 16
Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"It is such a traumatic event, especially when you have had a wonderful Mom.  It is so hard knowing she is gone.  Knowing this is permanent.  There is no one that can fill the void she left.  My brother was close to Mom, but he…"
Jul 16
Cherie is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Jul 15
Amy replied to Amy's discussion How do I get unstuck?
"I am not a believer and nor was he. We covered the bases just incase though. We were both raised Catholic. That is all besides the point though. "
Jul 15
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"While I never forget that my mom is gone, for some reason it just hits me over the head sometimes. Just out of the blue I'll be like, "Mom is gone." It's horrible. It's ever present. And the thing is that it is always with…"
Jul 15

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